What do you like and/or dislike about sharing a table with strangers?

[Bookish Angel]

I just want to note than "antisocial" has a strong negative connotation because it carries the meaning of being deliberately antagonistic towards others. I think the word that most people in this thread are looking for is "asocial," which simply means not motivated to be social.

 

Schooled! This is the best post in a long while. Thank you for caring about correct word usage.

[davekathy]

Table for two. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

[dverzic]

On my first cruise my sister and I (ages 28 and 30,) were seated with four other couples traveling together. They were much older than us, but from our area so we had that in common. I'm a little shy so I was nervous about sitting with strangers, but these couples always made sure to include us in their conversations and really welcomed us! We discussed our excursions, jobs, boyfriends, etc. and they gave us lots of travel and life tips! We only saw them at meal times but it was always nice to hear about their day. Made for a really enjoyable meal time!

 

 

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[navybankerteacher]

We prefer to be with other people. After 46 years of marriage we have covered every conceivable subject several times and I don't like to repeat myself. This one of the reasons we do not like Anytime dining. We usually get stuck alone. I like to talk and people are interesting. Over the years we have met some pretty diverse cruisers. One year we had a professional belly dancer seated with us. Then there was a detective from Detroit, a jeweler, a professional makeup artist who airbrushed models, ( yes, I asked for a job application), and a beautiful newly wed bride who sang like a bird. On RC we had another couple from Vietnam who's main topic was money. I didn't have much input on that one.

 

We were at a 8 person table with some retired school teachers. One of whom looked familiar. She should have, she and her hubby had the Kettle Corn Concession at Silver Dollar City in Branson. They had sold us Kettle Corn a couple of months before the cruise. The world is getting smaller.

 

Agreed.

 

My wife and I still enjoy each other's company - but most of our meals are together at our "two top" so it seems a shame to fail to take advantage of a dining format which exists only at sea -- unless you are frequently asked to dinner parties. Interacting with new contacts contains some risk, but far more enjoyable opportunities.

 

One significant downside to sailing NCL is the near impossibility of getting anything but a two top at dinner - their ships seem filled with asocial travelers. That, together with the uninspired food poorly served in their MDR's make eating on NCL (I cannot use "dining" in that context) simply a routine bodily function.

[kimlovesfl]

On our first cruise, we only sat at a two-top; all of our cruises since, we ask to share a table if we'll get seated sooner. I'm shy and quiet and not much of a people person, and surprisingly, I've enjoyed meeting new people. We've sat with some people more than once by coincidence. Most of the time, the conversation has been interesting. If we want to dine alone, we go to the buffet most of the time, or at Alfredo's on the Princess ships.

[pseudoware]

We prefer to be with other people. After 46 years of marriage we have covered every conceivable subject several times and I don't like to repeat myself. This one of the reasons we do not like Anytime dining. We usually get stuck alone. I like to talk and people are interesting. Over the years we have met some pretty diverse cruisers. One year we had a professional belly dancer seated with us. Then there was a detective from Detroit, a jeweler, a professional makeup artist who airbrushed models, ( yes, I asked for a job application), and a beautiful newly wed bride who sang like a bird. On RC we had another couple from Vietnam who's main topic was money. I didn't have much input on that one.

 

We were at a 8 person table with some retired school teachers. One of whom looked familiar. She should have, she and her hubby had the Kettle Corn Concession at Silver Dollar City in Branson. They had sold us Kettle Corn a couple of months before the cruise. The world is getting smaller.

 

Most of our cruises have been with my wife & kids, my parents, my sister & her family, etc. We always think "just us" when it comes to dining, and we'd hit up the maître d first thing upon boarding to ensure that's the case.

 

If/when my wife & I cruise by ourselves, we'll likely cross this bridge and likely be more open to the possibility of dining with others for some of the reasons mentioned. We did cruise once together pre-kids and dined with two other couples, both older than us at the time. The first, we'd gladly dine with pax like them. Really enjoyed their company & conversation. The other, they were kinda weird. Definitely gave my wife & I something to chat about later in the evening. That said, maybe we were weird to them, as well. We understand it's hit & miss. As mentioned previously, it does come down to "Do you feel lucky, punk?"

 

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[Ashland]

Table for two. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

This ^^^^^ I just wish those 2 tops weren't so close together...nice when we get a 4 top just for the two of us.

[Flamencacha]

I like traditional dining. I like having the same service throughout my cruise. I also enjoy meeting new people. I am still in contact with table mates from my first cruises in 2013.

I do cruise a line without traditional dining, so I use my roll call to meet people. I usually cruise SOLO.

 

My last cruise with traditional dining was a little disappointing. I had to argue with the Maitre D to assign me to traditional dining. By the second night I was assigned to a table of six.

Only 4 of us ever showed. It was the only cruise I wasn't happy with one of our table mates. She complained incessantly about her cruise the company etc. It got old. Of course there was no option of switching.

 

But I was fortunate to meet others from my Roll Call.

 

 

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[smakcanada]

Agreed.

 

My wife and I still enjoy each other's company - but most of our meals are together at our "two top" so it seems a shame to fail to take advantage of a dining format which exists only at sea -- unless you are frequently asked to dinner parties. Interacting with new contacts contains some risk, but far more enjoyable opportunities.

 

One significant downside to sailing NCL is the near impossibility of getting anything but a two top at dinner - their ships seem filled with asocial travelers. That, together with the uninspired food poorly served in their MDR's make eating on NCL (I cannot use "dining" in that context) simply a routine bodily function.

NBT: You just reminded me of a dinner I had in a restaurant in Tuscany many yesrs ago. I wanted to try the famous florence style steak and took the hotel's recommendation. When I arrived at the restaurant it was 'family style' seating: large communal tables. I sat with 3 young college students from the U.S. on their study year abroad, who introduced me to an amazing tuscan bean dish I would never have ordered; a lovely Italian family whose son was studying in Ireland and who wanted to show off his english language skills to his parents; and an older sophisticated Florentine couple who'd been sharing a Bistecca Fiorentina at the same trattoria for decades. I cannot remember the name of the restaurant but I remember the meal and my interesting dinner companions.

 

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[jean s]

We always do ATD and alternate between large tables and two tops. Most of the people we have met have been delightful but once in awhile you just end up sitting with someone who is inappropriate or just obnoxious. I will say that on our most recent cruise we sat with 2 couples on the first night in ATD who were so wonderful we ate dinner with them every night for the remainder of the cruise.

[Geldhart]

We've done both. First two cruises we had traditional with table mates and the third was MTD with just ourselves. On our next one we are going to split the difference and go with a traditional dining 2-top. Why? It's not you it's me.

 

I'm late diagnosed and on the autism spectrum and am extremely asocial. My wife is not much more social than I am.

 

Add to that (and could be related) I have an extreme phobic response to religion and praying - it's rough enough when I'm at my in-laws but at least they are aware of my quirk and do their best to be quick. In turn, I do my best to disguise my discomfort long enough to get by. I would not be able to do that with strangers. To put it in perspective, imagine the biggest arachniphobe you know walking into a spider web with its owner right there. That's me, only worse; I actually self harm if I'm in a church for something other than Toastmasters.

 

While the tablemates I've previously had are not bad people, I just don't have the desire or skills needed to participate in group dining for it to be enjoyable for any of us. And I don't want to frighten people with actual or even threatened self harm if they start praying (even of the kind that are unlikely to offend anyone).

 

However, Traditional had two big things going for it. One is that we don't have to worry about reservations and late seating on the East Coast is pretty much or regular dining time back home. We know when supper is and will be there ready to eat.

 

Having the same waiter is also more comforting given my rather unusual, but potential ugly food allergy/sensitivity. Being at just our table eliminates the "how can you enjoy this food without a proper wine pairing?" When they notice I don't order alcohol because of my sensitivity. I have had THAT come up before.

 

Besides if my wife wants to talk about sex, well, that's a conversation I also want to have.

 

 

 

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[afwminseattle]

I've got the best solutions to the overtly religious, love showing pictures of their kids, selling insurance, and politics yakkers......

 

We will bring up the benefits of "open marriage" and ask the religious ones if they'd like to join sometime. Pictures of kids/grandkids get a response of us skinny skiing or me in the borat mankini or the wife all tanned and tantalizing. I laugh at the insurance line as a 4 year cancer survivor and the wife being family to folks already "in the game" .

 

Politics yakkers are the toughest, the uber conservative ones are fun to talk with for about 15-20 minutes, and then hopefully food shows up. The lefties are just annoying, so the wife usually starts in with the "how close is your nearest homless/rehab/planned parenthood center" and they shut up.

 

Both of us went to boarding school, and understand opinions vary, and alternate between poking and laughing.

[Husky61]

We don't eat at tables with strangers at our restaurants at home, so we don't do it on a ship.:)

[dd likes to cruise]

We don't mind the small chatting you can do with close table of 2's next to you. (You can ignore if you wish). But we mainly eat by ourselves as it is much quicker. I don't enjoy long dinners.

[Reimann_J]

Our experiences have taught us that odds are we're better off on a two top. For example, during one prior cruise, we were seated at a table of eight, and the family of four at the table never showed and never called to say they were not coming. The staff refused to take our orders until they waited almost a half hour for this family that never came.

 

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We also prefer a 2-top or 4 top. We've had several bad experiences where we want to get done with dinner to go and do other things immediately after, and had to wait over 40 minutes before the wait staff would take our order (when seated at a large table). Not that we haven't met great and/or interesting people sitting at a large table, but our time is precious to us - we hate it when people show up late.

[cruisemom42]

We don't eat at tables with strangers at our restaurants at home, so we don't do it on a ship.:)

 

I don't spend hours looking at the ocean go by when I am at home, but I find that I enjoy it while onboard ship. Why should one be limited by what one does at home? ;)

[Warm Breezes]

I don't spend hours looking at the ocean go by when I am at home, but I find that I enjoy it while onboard ship. Why should one be limited by what one does at home? ;)

 

 

 

The difference is that while most all of us who love to cruise enjoy spending hours looking at the ocean go by, many of us who love to cruise also do not enjoy sharing our meal times with strangers. Fortunately, we no longer have to limit ourselves to the traditional cruise dining because the cruise lines have recognized this in the last decade and have made cruising even more enjoyable for us by giving us anytime/freestyle dining to choose from. IMHO it is human nature to limit ourselves by doing the things we enjoy....especially when we are on vacation.

 

 

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[wowzz]

Can never understand the need to rush a meal, unless one is desperate to get to a show. The idea of getting in and out of the mdr in less than an hour, even when eating as a couple, makes no sense. Choosing from the menu, making a choice of wine, savouring the food and drink, needs to be savoured and enjoyed. Who wants to stuff down a 4 course meal and drink half a bottle of wine in 40 minutes?

[Wembley Fraggle]

One of our fellow guests who had a bad memory told us EVERY day we saw her at the pool that her brother was a Governor of some US State. As though we could really care.

 

On our QM2 transatlantic we shared with a couple and oh boy, she had bad memory. Every night we got treated to the same stories about her daughter, her home and where she liked to shop. No politics or religion at least but it did get a tad... boring.

 

We generally don't share unless we have to.

I am not overly social and I have trouble understanding conversations in noisy situations (too many ear infections when I was little, standard hearing tests come back normal though). We are not from an English speaking country and while my English is generally fine, I sometimes can't get the fine points across in a conversation, DH speaks English tolerably well but we will still revert to our common native language when talking to each other, which excludes table mates from conversation.

 

Somehow whenever we have to share... the topics end up being religion and politics, especially world politics. a) I was raised in the understanding that religion and politics were not appropriate topics for a brunch or dinner table, b) I am not really religious (while my husband is, which has led to enough discussions on religion in my life), c) I am not really a political person (but still far too left, again... married to somebody who is much more conservative in his political leanings, plenty of discussions were had on that topic as well). I really don't want to discuss world politics over eggs and bacon - I swear I will offend you, most likely I will not agree to your political standpoint because I come from a totally different background and I just cannot defend myself well enough in a foreign language, I also know I cannot change your pov and you can't change mine so there is that. Discuss with DH, much more likely that you have similar political leanings, just that his English isn't quite good enough to discuss politics. Neither do I want to discuss religion over dinner, my MIL is a bit more Catholic than the Pope, DH works for the Catholic Church, believe me, been there, done that.

 

We also enjoy changing plans the last minute. We sometimes skip dinner, order room service, enjoy specialty restaurants and going to the buffet. Last time we only ate in the MDR about half the time.

 

We just don't make good table mate material. I know that so we'd rather not share. For everybody's sake.

[bUU]

Who wants to stuff down a 4 course meal and drink half a bottle of wine in 40 minutes?

I don't recall seeing anyone the saying that anytime dining requires completion of the meal within 40 minutes. I think the point is choice. If you have something important to do after dinner with a table for two it sounds like you can let the server know that and the server can work with you to make sure you are on your way in a timely manner. Otherwise why not have a more leisurely meal (albeit one that is not slowed down due to waiting for other parties to arrive later than the appointed time)? Unless everybody at your table is doing the same thing those kinds of choices are not possible.

 

 

 

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[cruisemom42]

The difference is that while most all of us who love to cruise enjoy spending hours looking at the ocean go by, many of us who love to cruise also do not enjoy sharing our meal times with strangers. Fortunately, we no longer have to limit ourselves to the traditional cruise dining because the cruise lines have recognized this in the last decade and have made cruising even more enjoyable for us by giving us anytime/freestyle dining to choose from. IMHO it is human nature to limit ourselves by doing the things we enjoy....especially when we are on vacation.

 

 

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I understand that. But the OP did not say that they didn't LIKE sharing a table, only that it's something they don't do at home. Using language carefully is a good thing. ;)

 

I'm absolutely fine with people not doing something because they don't like to. But if the only thing keeping you from trying something is the fact that you don't do it at home, I think it's good to encourage folks to try something new.

 

In many restaurants in various European countries I've visited (especially in Italy), communal seating is the norm. So it's not something that's solely the province of cruise ships....

[Strophic]

I usually get out of the MDR in less than an hour if I don't stick around longer to chat. I'm just a fast eater.

[Hlitner]

I had this thought about how cruisers have changed since we started cruising in the 70s. And I guess we could go back further (to the 50s) since my parents were cruisers and used to share tales with us. When we started cruising there were only Fixed Seatings (usually two..unless you were on a very high-end vessel). Two-tops were nearly non-existent as were alternative dining options. The later seatings were always much more popular with early seating not a popular option. Most tables were for 6 or larger (there were some 4s) and dining was considered a major part of cruising and a social activity. Dinner was generally a 2 - 2 1/2 hour thing as we were served course after course...with assistant waiters coming around with all the sides and veggies...in large silver serving bowls. If you had a baked potato, they would ask if you wanted butter, sour cream, chives, etc...cut open your potato for you...and spoon in the toppings. And many cruise lines had some tableside cooking...although it was often done by Assistant Maitre'ds...who would cook at various stations scattered around the ship. On Sitmar (and many other) lines, it was normal to have them prepare (tableside) a nightly pasta course which was served right from the large chafing bowl to the passengers. As to the dress code, some lines required dressing up (jackets and tie for the men) nearly every night...with the formal nights meaning "black tie."

 

If we go back to the 50s and even 60s....I remember my parents shipping a large Wardrobe Steamer Trunk (these things were huge and you could hang your clothes) ahead to the ship. As to entertainment, it was normal to have at least one "famous name" among the entertainers. In the 40s, 50s and into the 60s, it was normal to have an assigned deck chair with a deck steward who would bundle you up in a blanket (if it was chilly) and serve you hot broth (in the morning).

 

How times have changed.

 

Hank

[navybankerteacher]

We don't eat at tables with strangers at our restaurants at home, so we don't do it on a ship.:)

 

There are a number of differences between what one does at home and on a ship. Those differences are, in fact, why we travel. We dine alone at home most of the time - with perhaps a few times a month having dinners as guests, or hosting others at our home-- while we pick our guests, we often are seated with strangers when we are guests - yes, dining with others is "inefficient": it can take a couple of hours - but those hours allow us to take in a lot more than just food.

[bUU]

I have seen the argument made both ways, differently based on what is being discussed and which side of the matter the poster wants to support. For example, in the opposite direction, I've seen the "You don't X at home so why X on a cruise?" argument raised in response to complaints about Carnival seemingly aiming to reduce how much the stateroom attendant has to service a stateroom twice a day. It is currently offered as an option. Passengers have to choose between morning, evening or both. Some folks have expressed concern about how it is an attempt to reduce twice a day service by way of guilt, and others have expressed concern about how it is a precursor to offering only two options: morning or evening. Those who have expressed concern about the apparent trend toward once a day stateroom service have been rebutted by those who say in response that you don't make your bed at home twice a day...

 

I don't find that argument very convincing. It is vacation; it's supposed to be better than staying home.

 

Having said that, it is supposed to be better than staying home, not just different, and different doesn't necessarily mean better with regard to their sharing a table with strangers aboard the cruise ship, as highlighted above by a number of folks. Just like going from twice a day stateroom service to once a day stateroom service, large, shared tables may be better for the cruise line, since they can perhaps fit more diners in a smaller space and therefore have more space for retail, but many folks will still see that as something they'd rather not encounter.