Unfriendly gays on cruises

Cusp79 · May 14, 2019

Zitsky - Honestly, I don't really need their attention. I'm actually more comfortable talking to str8 individuals than gay individuals. To an extent, yes it's the same, but everyone has a different type of personality so time spent with either someone who is gay or str8 will be different. I have met more gay guys that are catty and judgmental than str8 individuals, then again, I have met LGBT individuals that are more relatable than str8 individuals. I'm just expressing my experience with gay guys I have met on the cruise. I honestly feel that the reason why more LGBT don't interact with us is because A. We're older (I'm 39 and my fiance is 52) and B. Because we're more conservative and don't fit the stereotypes (not that there's anything wrong with them).

zitsky · May 14, 2019

Oh I think I understand your point. I don't think there is any reason to spend time with people who don't want to be with you. On three cruises I met few gay people. When I did they didn't want to hang out together.

Obobru · May 26, 2019

Interesting thread! We are a married couple and have been on our first cruise a couple of months ago with Disney, we have a second booked with them for September and we have just booked NCL for Oct 2020. Looking at the NCL planners I saw the FOD event and wondered what these kind of events are like as we are happy to socialise and spend dinner with other couples or solo travelers but it seems this maybe not such a good idea.

Being from the UK I notice a big cultural difference between UK and US gay men from my many visits to the US. I find a lot of American gay men to be bitchy and over the top and obcessed by sex or drag queens, it often feels like I have gone back to the 80/90's. I was hoping we would find people on cruises more mature and with a bit more class but it doesn't sound like it which is disappointing.

We will attend the NCL FOD meet up on the first night to see what people are like, if they are low class trash at least it will give us something to chat and laugh about over dinner. Maybe we will get lucky and meet some decent interesting people, we were lucky on the Disney ship to be seated at dinner with a couple of sisters and a young straight couple who were moderately interesting.

Edited May 26, 2019 by Obobru

zitsky · May 26, 2019

42 minutes ago, Obobru said:

Interesting thread! We are a married couple and have been on our first cruise a couple of months ago with Disney, we have a second booked with them for September and we have just booked NCL for Oct 2020. Looking at the NCL planners I saw the FOD event and wondered what these kind of events are like as we are happy to socialise and spend dinner with other couples or solo travelers but it seems this maybe not such a good idea.

Being from the UK I notice a big cultural difference between UK and US gay men from my many visits to the US. I find a lot of American gay men to be bitchy and over the top and obcessed by sex or drag queens, it often feels like I have gone back to the 80/90's. I was hoping we would find people on cruises more mature and with a bit more class but it doesn't sound like it which is disappointing.

We will attend the NCL FOD meet up on the first night to see what people are like, if they are low class trash at least it will give us something to chat and laugh about over dinner. Maybe we will get lucky and meet some decent interesting people, we were lucky on the Disney ship to be seated at dinner with a couple of sisters and a young straight couple who were moderately interesting.

I believe I understand you. But I would suggest that, if you stop looking down on people and keep an open mind, then you might have a better experience.

Obobru · May 26, 2019

2 minutes ago, zitsky said:

I believe I understand you. But I would suggest that, if you stop looking down on people and keep an open mind, then you might have a better experience.

We don't look down on anyone so you made the wrong assumption there, maybe you feel offended by my observations.

We are open minded but that doesn't mean we have to socialise with over the top bitchy sex mad queens. We have been on many holidays and lived overseas and mainly found this behaviour from younger gay Americans, that's just fact.

zitsky · May 26, 2019

17 minutes ago, Obobru said:

We don't look down on anyone so you made the wrong assumption there, maybe you feel offended by my observations.

We are open minded but that doesn't mean we have to socialise with over the top bitchy sex mad queens. We have been on many holidays and lived overseas and mainly found this behaviour from younger gay Americans, that's just fact.

"(They) will give us something to laugh and chat about"???

Obobru · May 26, 2019

1 minute ago, zitsky said:

"(They) will give us something to laugh and chat about"???

Sad individuals who try make low class trashy moves on couples are only good for laughing at because they are terribly sad individuals. We would like to socialise with people who are not on a cruise to try and get off with people's partners in a vain attempt to visit their egos.

You seem so salty over this, I can only assume why.

zitsky · May 26, 2019

2 minutes ago, Obobru said:

Sad individuals who try make low class trashy moves on couples are only good for laughing at because they are terribly sad individuals. We would like to socialise with people who are not on a cruise to try and get off with people's partners in a vain attempt to visit their egos.

You seem so salty over this, I can only assume why.

I'm salty because you seem as bitchy as the people you complain about. Sorry if that is not true and I've misunderstood you.

Obobru · May 26, 2019

9 minutes ago, zitsky said:

I'm salty because you seem as bitchy as the people you complain about. Sorry if that is not true and I've misunderstood you.

Not wanting to socialise with sleazeballs isn't bitchy.

zitsky · May 26, 2019

5 minutes ago, Obobru said:

Not wanting to socialise with sleazeballs isn't bitchy.

No I wouldn't expect you to. It's just your language that confuses me.

tv24 · May 27, 2019

12 hours ago, Obobru said:

Interesting thread! We are a married couple and have been on our first cruise a couple of months ago with Disney, we have a second booked with them for September and we have just booked NCL for Oct 2020. Looking at the NCL planners I saw the FOD event and wondered what these kind of events are like as we are happy to socialise and spend dinner with other couples or solo travelers but it seems this maybe not such a good idea.

Being from the UK I notice a big cultural difference between UK and US gay men from my many visits to the US. I find a lot of American gay men to be bitchy and over the top and obcessed by sex or drag queens, it often feels like I have gone back to the 80/90's. I was hoping we would find people on cruises more mature and with a bit more class but it doesn't sound like it which is disappointing.

We will attend the NCL FOD meet up on the first night to see what people are like, if they are low class trash at least it will give us something to chat and laugh about over dinner. Maybe we will get lucky and meet some decent interesting people, we were lucky on the Disney ship to be seated at dinner with a couple of sisters and a young straight couple who were moderately interesting.

Good evening from a bitchy, sex-obsessed, drag-obsessed, immature. low class, trashy, sleazy gay may from the United States. Looking forward to meeting you someday.

Blazerboy · May 28, 2019

On 5/26/2019 at 10:40 PM, tv24 said:

Good evening from a bitchy, sex-obsessed, drag-obsessed, immature. low class, trashy, sleazy gay may from the United States. Looking forward to meeting you someday.

Funny. Without being immodest, my partner and I might be the type of couple Obobru are looking to meet. Twenty years together, successful, educated, not in drag, said to be amusing rather than bitchy, and not looking for hook-ups.

And yet, I dare say, we don't care for judgemental prigs above all else. So there you have it. Happy to see you on board, TV24!😁

zitsky · May 28, 2019

1 hour ago, Blazerboy said:

Funny. Without being immodest, my partner and I might be the type of couple Obobru are looking to meet. Twenty years together, successful, educated, not in drag, said to be amusing rather than bitchy, and not looking for hook-ups.

And yet, I dare say, we don't care for judgemental prigs above all else. So there you have it. Happy to see you on board, TV24!😁

I can feel the burn from here.

Obobru · May 28, 2019

1 hour ago, Blazerboy said:

Funny. Without being immodest, my partner and I might be the type of couple Obobru are looking to meet. Twenty years together, successful, educated, not in drag, said to be amusing rather than bitchy, and not looking for hook-ups.

And yet, I dare say, we don't care for judgemental prigs above all else. So there you have it. Happy to see you on board, TV24!😁

You might think you would be but really you wouldn't be the type we like to socialise with, not a fan of people who declare themselves to be "successful" as they tend to always talk about themselves and their perceived success. They tend to be the opposite of unfriendly but only so they can endless talk about themselves. I find success something which is subjective and those who say they are the definition of it rather distasteful so I think we have both dodged a bullet and hopefully won't ever bump into each other on a cruise.

Blazerboy · May 28, 2019

12 minutes ago, Obobru said:

You might think you would be but really you wouldn't be the type we like to socialise with, not a fan of people who declare themselves to be "successful" as they tend to always talk about themselves and their perceived success. They tend to be the opposite of unfriendly but only so they can endless talk about themselves. I find success something which is subjective and those who say they are the definition of it rather distasteful so I think we have both dodged a bullet and hopefully won't ever bump into each other on a cruise.

I quite agree that we've all dodged a bullet, but, just to be clear, all those attributes were ones I assumed you would be looking to find in acceptable companions. My choice of companionable cruise mates is rather wider than what you've said you were seeking. Sniffing your nose at my terms only serves to increase my sense of relief that our conversation is limited to an on-line forum.

Edited May 28, 2019 by Blazerboy

Blazerboy · May 28, 2019

And, having reviewed the post that started this back and forth, I would add that I would prefer to dine with a couple who considers themselves successful (in whatever way they define success) than one who utters the word "class" as an attribute they are seeking in others. It's one of those words that is better understood than spoken.

zitsky · May 28, 2019

This is why we can't have meetings. No one gets along. 😞

Blazerboy · May 28, 2019

9 minutes ago, zitsky said:

This is why we can't have meetings. No one gets along. 😞

Nonsense. Why, some of my best friends are...😉

keithm · May 29, 2019

Boy, this thread got kind of bitchy! My spouse & I(56 & 64) Have cruised Cunard/Celebrity/Princess/Oceania. We find Oceania our current favorite as of now. We're both foodies & in the food industry & this line really caters to that. We've found Cunard & Princess to have the best gay meetings. Celebrity lacks in this & Oceania, it's pretty much non existent. We don't cruise looking for friends, but we aren't aloof, either. I do have to say the only "gay intolerant" we've found was on Oceania. In some restaurants on board, you may have to share a table. Twice we had issues(minor) First time the couple was obviously not comfortable sitting with a gay couple. Just uncomfortable silence. Second cruise, this couple just wouldn't sit with us. This was fine as we totally enjoyed ourselves. There is a gay following on Oceania. Most pax are quite elderly, which explains their unease. Most gay couples, we found, pretty much kept to themselves. The restaurant "La Reserve" was the one you had to converse, as it's more a banquet style of seating. The tasting was paired with wine, so pax pretty much talked together. Though some would think why sail Oceania. like I said the food & ambience. A fair amount of UK pax & European pax gave the line a nice mix of sophistication. My spouse was one of only about 4 Asians on board. "Everyone loves the Chinese guy" seems to be true on all the lines we've cruised. Like us, a lot of couples are cruising for their own vacation, not someone else's. People need to understand that.

zitsky · May 30, 2019

59 minutes ago, keithm said:

Boy, this thread got kind of bitchy! My spouse & I(56 & 64) Have cruised Cunard/Celebrity/Princess/Oceania. We find Oceania our current favorite as of now. We're both foodies & in the food industry & this line really caters to that. We've found Cunard & Princess to have the best gay meetings. Celebrity lacks in this & Oceania, it's pretty much non existent. We don't cruise looking for friends, but we aren't aloof, either. I do have to say the only "gay intolerant" we've found was on Oceania. In some restaurants on board, you may have to share a table. Twice we had issues(minor) First time the couple was obviously not comfortable sitting with a gay couple. Just uncomfortable silence. Second cruise, this couple just wouldn't sit with us. This was fine as we totally enjoyed ourselves. There is a gay following on Oceania. Most pax are quite elderly, which explains their unease. Most gay couples, we found, pretty much kept to themselves. The restaurant "La Reserve" was the one you had to converse, as it's more a banquet style of seating. The tasting was paired with wine, so pax pretty much talked together. Though some would think why sail Oceania. like I said the food & ambience. A fair amount of UK pax & European pax gave the line a nice mix of sophistication. My spouse was one of only about 4 Asians on board. "Everyone loves the Chinese guy" seems to be true on all the lines we've cruised. Like us, a lot of couples are cruising for their own vacation, not someone else's. People need to understand that.

Maybe sometime you should try Viking. Friendly people.

My husband is Chinese so I get your point.

photocat75 · May 30, 2019

as a single gay woman my experiences have been much different than most of the post.

I travel with some pals who are also gay but we are just friends not partners but

find that folks at these meetings just assume we are partners.

Usually most of the group are men, and usually partners of long time standings. I have found them to be pleasant, nice, fellows.

we have drinks together and quite often the last night at sea we get together at one or two tables to have a final meal

on occasion i have run into some one or a small group in port and we have a pleasant time sharing adventures.

my experiences have been on Princess ships which i have found to be very gay friendly

years ago my nephew who is gay and i went on cruise with Viking and had a great time, and i am sure most of the boat knew we were gay as my nephew is an opera singer who is a bit over the top at times, but folks seem to fall in love with him and love his company.

tv24 · May 30, 2019

Hi Keith: Bitchy? You betcha!

We too enjoyed the cuisine on Oceania. IMHO, it's the best on the seas. We also appreciated the terrific art that decorated the Oceania Marina, really exceptional. We had none of the problems you guys experiences with a few creepy fellow passengers. We look forward to returning to "O" when we find the right itinerary.

zitsky · May 30, 2019

9 hours ago, photocat75 said:

as a single gay woman my experiences have been much different than most of the post.

I travel with some pals who are also gay but we are just friends not partners but

find that folks at these meetings just assume we are partners.

Usually most of the group are men, and usually partners of long time standings. I have found them to be pleasant, nice, fellows.

we have drinks together and quite often the last night at sea we get together at one or two tables to have a final meal

on occasion i have run into some one or a small group in port and we have a pleasant time sharing adventures.

my experiences have been on Princess ships which i have found to be very gay friendly

years ago my nephew who is gay and i went on cruise with Viking and had a great time, and i am sure most of the boat knew we were gay as my nephew is an opera singer who is a bit over the top at times, but folks seem to fall in love with him and love his company.

Could you define "over the top", please? Glad you enjoyed Viking.

Edited May 30, 2019 by zitsky

photocat75 · May 30, 2019