Over drinking family member unlimited drinks

[nadinenurse1]

I must say I am embarrassed to post this about my own family. Recently off the Indy stepson had purchased unlimited drink package and drink way too much. He must've had over 20 drinks and was clearly obviously way over his limit. I was really happy that the bartender at the bar he frequented stop giving him drinks and only gave him bottled water but my  stepson was able to bypass this by going to different bars to get more drinks. The five other family members on the trip talked to him constantly about how much he was drinking and tried to get him  to stop drinking and it didn’t work.  He drank for all four days of the trip quite frankly he will ruined it for the other five of us. Even went to get services but I knew as an adult he
can do what he wanted to I asked them if they will be able to put an alert on his card for the bartenders to closely chat before they gave him a drink but they said that was something they couldn't do.  I blame nobody but him for his behavior I only hoped that Royal Caribbean would've been able to help a little bit by putting some kind of information on his set and sail pass as not all bartenders where as able as others chanel his really drunk status.  I am sad embarrassed and not happy with him. 

[DCL2RCI]

Such an odd thing to post here, what are you hoping to accomplish? 

[SG65CB]

30 minutes ago, DCL2RCI said:

Such an odd thing to post here, what are you hoping to accomplish? 

 

Probably wondering what other people in this situation have done that might help them on their next cruise. Maybe hoping RC will notice and add the ability to put flags on SeaPass accounts. A reminder to the rest of us that the drink package gives you the incentive to drink more than you usually might. 

 

On the plus side, the stepson was not drinking and driving. 

Edited March 3, 2020 by SG65CB

[MalteseMama2]

46 minutes ago, nadinenurse1 said:

I must say I am embarrassed to post this about my own family. Recently off the Indy stepson had purchased unlimited drink package and drink way too much. He must've had over 20 drinks and was clearly obviously way over his limit. I was really happy that the bartender at the bar he frequented stop giving him drinks and only gave him bottled water but my  stepson was able to bypass this by going to different bars to get more drinks. The five other family members on the trip talked to him constantly about how much he was drinking and tried to get him  to stop drinking and it didn’t work.  He drank for all four days of the trip quite frankly he will ruined it for the other five of us. Even went to get services but I knew as an adult he
can do what he wanted to I asked them if they will be able to put an alert on his card for the bartenders to closely chat before they gave him a drink but they said that was something they couldn't do.  I blame nobody but him for his behavior I only hoped that Royal Caribbean would've been able to help a little bit by putting some kind of information on his set and sail pass as not all bartenders where as able as others chanel his really drunk status.  I am sad embarrassed and not happy with him. 

I’m sorry you had this experience. I’m sure other families have similar experiences and it would have been nice (but not realistic)if all the bartenders had been better at recognizing your stepson’s level of inebriation. They probably worry they will be a accused of not honoring the drink package. If you cruise with stepson again can you insist he doesn’t get the drink or he cannot accompany your group?

[A&L_Ont]

OP, I'm sorry that this happened to you and that your group had to go through this with your stepson.  

 

Unfortunatly all it takes is one to ruin a holiday, and you had "that one" for all 4 days.  All I can hope is that this was a singular 4 day event and not something that happens "at home" on a daily basis.  I have watched a family go through this and an individual lose their dignity among many things.

Edited March 3, 2020 by A&L_Ont

[blueridgemama]

With so many bars on board these large ships it would be difficult to monitor an individual's drinking pattern.

A solution would be to limit the number of daily  alcoholic drinks allowed on a package like Carnival does.

[Snit13]

9 minutes ago, A&L_Ont said:

OP, I'm sorry that this happened to you and that your group had to go through this with your stepson.  

 

Unfortunatly all it takes is one to ruin a holiday, and you had "that one" for all 4 days.  All I can hope is that this was a singular 4 day event and not something that happens "at home" on a daily basis.  I have watched a family go through this and an individual lose their dignity among many things.

Not to mention their jobs, family and good life.  You were in a terrible situation and I wish someone else in your party had stepped up to the plate and helped.  The drink package is of concern to me as I have known many alcoholics/drunks during my lifetime and it is no fun for the family/friends to live thru.  I would never cruise with stepson again if I were you.  Now you have to work on putting this event aside and don't let it happen to you again.

[trey420]

With the high cost of that drink package, you're going to want to get your money's worth out of it.  Not excusing him, but that just makes sense.  There ain't much you can do to stop a grown man with an all you can drink card.  Next time, no invite to him.  I'd tell him my issue.  

[sun_lovin!1]

Was your stepson behaving in such a way that he was endangering himself or others?  I believe the bartenders can choose not to serve someone; however, if he was not exhibiting a behavior that would alert the bartender to his having had too much to drink, then he would continue to be served.  I would say that you may have to choose not to cruise with him from now on.

[NJBill]

My daughter worked on POA and they receive training on customers and alcohol consumption. Bartenders and servers can flag anyone at anytime.

[Jam0610]

I would leave him at home for your next cruise. Spent a lot of years in the bar/restaurant business. Bartenders or Bar Management should have cut him off.

Will admit on most sailings I see "some" that have been over served.

 

[Eslader]

You say he was clearly way over his limit, but you don't say how. Was he just acting goofy, or was he starting fights? If it's the former... Honestly as long as this isn't a daily habit for him off the ship, there's not much that can or should be done about it. He's a grownup and can overindulge from time to time if he wants to. It's a big ship. Leave him in the bar and go hang out in the solarium.

 

If, on the other hand, he's starting fights or doing the other obnoxious things that mean drunks do, then it *is* a problem that should have been addressed, preferably the morning of day 2 when he might be at least partially sober. "Knock it off or this is your last invite to a mutual vacation." And then see above about the big ship and going somewhere he isn't.

 

And if it's a daily thing off the ship as well, he needs professional help that you can't be expected to provide.

 

[Midway7934]

I here the concern in your post and can identify with your need to share. My thoughts align with some of what PhillyFan and sun_login have posted. Unless a passenger is a danger to himself or to others Royal is not responsible for controlling this behavior. I have seen "spring break" binges  by young adults who feel this is a way of letting off steam. Only he and his friends and family know if this happens often. No amount of "talking to" or attempts at control on your part will really make a difference. It is all up to him to change the behavior. I realize that it makes other family members uncomfortable and embarrassed. The goal is to work on you including the choice not to cruise with your stepson. Explain that you love him and are concerned over his behavior in the hopes he may get help. Now as most reading this post probably realize, yes, I have spent many years in Alanon (the help for the family members not AA   the one for the problem drinker).  Please don't feel I am preaching or have all the answers. What you, nadinenurse1, posted was a reach out to anyone with advice. Take what you want and leave the rest. God bless and happy cruising!

 

[gerif]

I can totally understand how a person who has overindulged can hide it from servers. I’m a bit curious as to how he responded when confronted with his behavior when sober if he was indeed confronted. Does he drink much at home? Okay, none of my business. In any event, I would refuse to ever cruise with him again and, if asked, would lay out my reason under no uncertain terms. 

[nadinenurse1]

We DID talk to him , all 5 of us....all day ..each day and if the bar tenders looked.. slurring his words, difficulty ambulating , Overly friendly,  we redirected him, moved  him to other locations, took him to events, basically baby sat him as much as we could,  even at dinner , 6 drinks. I counted.. being the loud mouth person I am I told him and the wait staff to not bring him more drinks... So he waited until after dinner went to a bar and got more.   Yes I KNOW he must have a ETOH problem,  and I am in recurrent conversation w him now about this,  my wish would be that since this is all automated. RCI put a flag  to the bar tenders as they def could know how many drinks he has had in what time period,  come on, this is the age of computerization  AND if it knew this before hand , I would never have let him know about this package, this was his first cruise, along w my other son and I paid for them to go, but not for the packages they purchased.  This freedom. To drink was obliviously was too seductive for his personality to not abuse it,  the other 3 27 ish year olds w the same package were fine...I had posted to share my distress to the community here... he really did cast a nasty shadow On the trip

[nadinenurse1]

When we confronted him he apologized and did it again,  this was way too much for him to control.... never had been on a cruise before, like to drink. And I know he even scared himself a bit as we went to Disney after and he was not a happy fellow but it still did Not make it better and he is def. not off the hook for this event,  I am sure he will never go again can not afford it, as I said I paid for the group to go

[Chipford]

I think this is absolutely a pertinent question.  I would think Royal would be very interested in knowing how much an individual who has the AYCD package is drinking for multiple reasons.  They don't want someone so drunk that they could be causing any amount of trouble whether it be vomiting, sexual assault, starting fights, etc.  Also, you think they'd be concerned that someone who has gotten many drinks in a short period of time could be passing them off to others, which could be reducing the cruise lines revenue.  I think if one bartender cuts someone off, it should flag his seapass ship-wide.  If a guy gets hostile about it, some large fellows should escort him to his room...or the brig.

 

I had the AYCD package on my last cruise.  I'm a very small man, and I am not a daily drinker at home, yet I found that the mixed drinks tending to not be very strong, and I could have several back-to-back without getting particularly drunk.  I never felt that I had overdone things, and I never woke up with a hangover.  And I weigh 140 lbs soaking wet.

[nadinenurse1]

Thanks so much for saying that Chipford ,  not logical for RC to not monitor.... too easy to lose $$$

[CrusieToy]

2 hours ago, nadinenurse1 said:

I must say I am embarrassed to post this about my own family. Recently off the Indy stepson had purchased unlimited drink package and drink way too much. He must've had over 20 drinks and was clearly obviously way over his limit. I was really happy that the bartender at the bar he frequented stop giving him drinks and only gave him bottled water but my  stepson was able to bypass this by going to different bars to get more drinks. The five other family members on the trip talked to him constantly about how much he was drinking and tried to get him  to stop drinking and it didn’t work.  He drank for all four days of the trip quite frankly he will ruined it for the other five of us. Even went to get services but I knew as an adult he
can do what he wanted to I asked them if they will be able to put an alert on his card for the bartenders to closely chat before they gave him a drink but they said that was something they couldn't do.  I blame nobody but him for his behavior I only hoped that Royal Caribbean would've been able to help a little bit by putting some kind of information on his set and sail pass as not all bartenders where as able as others chanel his really drunk status.  I am sad embarrassed and not happy with him. 

Im really sorry you have to go thru this.  I hope it works out but in the end he is the only one who can help himself

I would cancel the cruise JMHO

[MommaBear55]

1 hour ago, PhillyFan33579 said:

Why is it Royal’s responsibility to monitor your stepson’s drinking behavior?  If it is obvious he has drank too much, they won’t serve him like you mentioned. But if someone isn’t obviously drunk no matter how much they drank, which is very common, bartenders will continue to serve them alcohol. Not trying to be judgmental, but this sounds like an issue that needs to be addressed by people close to him like his family or friends, assuming this is a frequent problem. It definitely sounds like your stepson has a drinking problem based on your post. 

It is actually the bartender's responsibility to monitor and not over serve patrons who are obviously past normal intoxication. 

And to the OP, I'm sorry you had to go through this. It's very worrisome to see a family member go through this. Now that you are back, are you or his father able to talk to him about it? If you had video evidence, that would be even better. However, people who drink to that level are often in deep denial. Good luck. 

[nadinenurse1]

Thanks Momma  Bear got pictures and video, I am sorry is the reply. We get .. mine to him is constant and insistent..Never again.. you have got a problem here... I did not really know before the cruise how bad as in my  house .. there really is no drinking...we just don’t for no particular reason..  those that did also have the package just had a good time trying out things they never had before, had real fun as well and did not go overboard..... he has apologized to the family on the cruise , and after in Disney.. still this kids got a problem... is our kinda adopted son.... we are all worried about him,  and I am highly annoyed as well as the great vacation we were to have now has this nasty over lay on it......   I did not know Carnival has limits ... kudos to them... and still I was on their boats as well.. saw many people like my kid was....really have not seen this yet on RCI. And my third cruise w them

[The Sunset Glow]

This must have been a horrible experience and to know you paid for it must be heartbreaking. I would be upset too.

 

Regarding the beverage packages - I think that if one bartender has cut someone off they should have the ability to cut off the package on their card. This seems simple really. Bartender deems the person too drunk, calls a supervisor to confirm decision and then the supervisor should have the ability to deactivate the booze portion of the package for a few hours (I say booze because they will probably need the non-alcoholic portion😜)

 

Personally I rather see RCI limit the number of alcoholic drinks per day on the package but then allow only one person in the cabin to buy it. It could be a good compromise and also limit liability for over serving issues. 

Edited March 3, 2020 by The Sunset Glow

[F27TW]

2 hours ago, d9704011 said:

Reported to mods.

 

What did you report to the mods? 

[Tulsacoker]

5 minutes ago, F27TW said:

 

What did you report to the mods? 

yeah I'm scratching my head on that too 

[Suzieanna]

If this was your son's first rodeo at an AYCD, then I kind of understand.    Seen it too many times.    Back in the olden days when I was a barmaid I would refuse to serve somebody if I thought they had too much.   How to know if somebody has had too much ?  this is something you learn from experience - and you do need the "back up" of a good manager.  Maybe this is where the cruise line is letting itself down.   They should not be afraid of cutting somebody off.

 

Maybe if you haven't seen him drunk before it came as a shock to you?    However, he ruined your vacation.   This should not be allowed to happen again.  My advice for what it's worth - he knows how you feel now, so let it go.   Let your husband deal with the backlash. 

 

A decent bar would not serve an obvious drunk.    In the UK you lose your licence over this sort of thing.

 

 

Edited March 3, 2020 by Suzieanna