Over drinking family member unlimited drinks

[cruisegirl1]

3 hours ago, d9704011 said:

Sorry, you may have misunderstood (my fault entirely).  I reported the original post to the mods.... this has nothing to do do with cruising; it’s about alcohol abuse.  Believe me, I know that is a serious topic that needs to be addressed somewhere other than Cruise Critic.

Actually, it does have to do with cruising, specifically the drink package. There are many questions and comments regarding the drink package , how many drinks can a person get, is there any time frame between drinks, and even the occasional question of “will I get cut off“? 
 

This is an important conversation about over indulging. The OP admitted it was a young man’s fault/responsibility and not the cruise line. Actually, I thought the cruise line had the ability cut off drinks. 
 

m

 

 

Edited March 3, 2020 by cruisegirl1

[pcur]

We have experienced this with our oldest son, too.  Not on a daily basis on the cruises, but several times he had way too much to drink, and it made us all very uncomfortable.  One evening at dinner I took him from the main dining room to his cabin because he was drunk and obviously not coherent enough to be there.

 

(Actually, this included a rather funny experience.  My son is 6'4", so when we got on the elevator, he was facing the rest of the people, and weaving on his feet.  They all took one look at him and step back against the walls, like it was choreographed.  It was like, "if he falls, it's NOT going to be on me". It was formal night, too!)

 

Anyway, he called me in the morning and apologized to me, and I told him he needed to apologize to the dining room staff, too, which he did.  I've told him since then if he wants to come on a cruise with the family again, he has to watch his drinking, which is built-in now.  He has the LOHL (Love of His Life), and she is not a big drinker.  

 

If I was in this situation ever again, I would do two things:  make sure he had a companion all day and evening, and one of the family would take his seapass card away from him when he had too much.  It would be understood up front that these are the rules in order to cruise with us.

[crazyank]

4 hours ago, blueridgemama said:

With so many bars on board these large ships it would be difficult to monitor an individual's drinking pattern.

A solution would be to limit the number of daily  alcoholic drinks allowed on a package like Carnival does.

and punish/put limits on everybody else because of a few irresponsible drunks?

[KelSny1011]

I know that Carnival has 15 drinks max on their highest drink package.  I know that RCI doesn't, and I can see why that might be bad for some.  The problem is what is someone's limit?  For me it's 2 but for my husband it can be 10.  How does RCI bartenders know when to pull back, and that puts a lot of responsibility on the poor bartenders.  The only way I can see RCI putting some type of alert on a unlimited drinker is if they did something to break rules while on board, or do what Carnival does and say "15 drinks per day".   I had a friend of a family member who drank too much in the evening and was a jerk in the mornings (b/c he was hungover), so I know your frustration.  Once we got back I told my family member that if she was to ever do another cruise with us, he's not invited.  It's unfortunate when one person can change the entire mood of the trip.  You find out real quick when you're on trips like these which people you'll go on trips again with and which people you won't.  

Edited March 3, 2020 by KelSny1011

[MericaAR15]

Why would RCI need to change their policy to accommodate the behavior of a lush? This might be a shocking idea to some, but maybe we can lean towards individual responsibility and accountability.

 

The last thing we need is another rule or law adversely impacting the responsible majority in an attempt to save the irresponsible minority from themselves.

[blueridgemama]

55 minutes ago, crazyank said:

and punish/put limits on everybody else because of a few irresponsible drunks?

 

15 alcoholic drinks in one day is a punishment?

[MericaAR15]

2 minutes ago, blueridgemama said:

 

15 alcoholic drinks in one day is a punishment?

It can be, depending on the individual.  Why should your feelings get to dictate someone else's reality?  Can it just be an individual decision?

[Eslader]

1 hour ago, Bearsfan82 said:

Lets say on average you pay $60 dollars a day for the drink package. I realize some get it even cheaper but lets just say $60. At $12 dollars per cocktail thats only 5 drinks a day to hit that price point to break even. At $7 a beer thats roughly 9 beers a day. To me, the 5 cocktails is not quite a bit for a whole day. Lets say 2 mimosa or blood marys for breakfast, maybe a cocktail during the day, and a couple drinks at night. Really doesnt take much to hit the drink package price

Except the math doesn't work as well on shore days. Unless you're at one of the "private islands," your drink package doesn't follow you to shore. If you spend all day on land, then to "get your money's worth" you either need to slam a bunch of booze down that night, or drink more on average during sea days.

 

Every single time we cruise my wife and I consider the beverage package, but for the amount we drink - - especially considering that stuff like wine pairings/etc aren't included - - it's just never made sense, even counting the coffee.

 

[Bearsfan82]

2 minutes ago, Eslader said:

Except the math doesn't work as well on shore days. Unless you're at one of the "private islands," your drink package doesn't follow you to shore. If you spend all day on land, then to "get your money's worth" you either need to slam a bunch of booze down that night, or drink more on average during sea days.

 

Every single time we cruise my wife and I consider the beverage package, but for the amount we drink - - especially considering that stuff like wine pairings/etc aren't included - - it's just never made sense, even counting the coffee.

 

Yeah you are absolutely correct about port days. But even then, its really not that hard to say you had a drink at breakfast, couple glasses of wine with dinner and maybe a late night cocktail or 2 right? That doesnt seen excessive to me and pretty much hits the drink package right there.

[greykitty]

Help me, please?  Are bar tenders, etc., not required to stop serving when a customer appears intoxicated (dramshop laws)?  I realize many ships fly flags of convenience to avoid certain laws and taxes, but surely their employees are instructed in recognizing intoxicated passengers?  And I realize some customers could be well over any reasonable standard of intoxication and not appear drunk at all.  

Edited March 3, 2020 by greykitty

[DaiC01]

1 hour ago, KelSny1011 said:

I know that Carnival has 15 drinks max on their highest drink package.  I know that RCI doesn't, and I can see why that might be bad for some.  The problem is what is someone's limit?  For me it's 2 but for my husband it can be 10.  How does RCI bartenders know when to pull back, and that puts a lot of responsibility on the poor bartenders.  The only way I can see RCI putting some type of alert on a unlimited drinker is if they did something to break rules while on board, or do what Carnival does and say "15 drinks per day".   I had a friend of a family member who drank too much in the evening and was a jerk in the mornings (b/c he was hungover), so I know your frustration.  Once we got back I told my family member that if she was to ever do another cruise with us, he's not invited.  It's unfortunate when one person can change the entire mood of the trip.  You find out real quick when you're on trips like these which people you'll go on trips again with and which people you won't.  

Its only a 15 drink limit within the package you can still purchase drinks and charge them to you account.

[DaiC01]

21 minutes ago, greykitty said:

Help me, please?  Are bar tenders, etc., not required to stop serving when a customer appears intoxicated (dramshop laws)?  I realize many ships fly flags of convenience to avoid certain laws and taxes, but surely their employees are instructed in recognizing intoxicated passengers?  And I realize some customers could be well over any reasonable standard of intoxication and not appear drunk at all.  

 

The bar tenders are very aware of what's happening, its more about how the individual is behaving, coherent and capable, the ship has a duty of care in case of emergency.  

Edited March 3, 2020 by DaiC01

[DaiC01]

34 minutes ago, Eslader said:

Except the math doesn't work as well on shore days. Unless you're at one of the "private islands," your drink package doesn't follow you to shore. If you spend all day on land, then to "get your money's worth" you either need to slam a bunch of booze down that night, or drink more on average during sea days.

 

Every single time we cruise my wife and I consider the beverage package, but for the amount we drink - - especially considering that stuff like wine pairings/etc aren't included - - it's just never made sense, even counting the coffee.

 

I always have one, more for the convenience of knowing what I'm going to spend and not worrying about keeping track of my tab / account.

Cruise lines don't have drinks packages to loose money, I would wager that they have done the math on the profit and lose and are either breaking even or making money. Perhaps one could argue that the sale of drink packages is subsidising the cost of the drinks on board for non-drink package travellers.

[hotsauce126]

4 hours ago, nadinenurse1 said:

We DID talk to him , all 5 of us....all day ..each day and if the bar tenders looked.. slurring his words, difficulty ambulating , Overly friendly,  we redirected him, moved  him to other locations, took him to events, basically baby sat him as much as we could,  even at dinner , 6 drinks. I counted.. being the loud mouth person I am I told him and the wait staff to not bring him more drinks... So he waited until after dinner went to a bar and got more.   Yes I KNOW he must have a ETOH problem,  and I am in recurrent conversation w him now about this,  my wish would be that since this is all automated. RCI put a flag  to the bar tenders as they def could know how many drinks he has had in what time period,  come on, this is the age of computerization  AND if it knew this before hand , I would never have let him know about this package, this was his first cruise, along w my other son and I paid for them to go, but not for the packages they purchased.  This freedom. To drink was obliviously was too seductive for his personality to not abuse it,  the other 3 27 ish year olds w the same package were fine...I had posted to share my distress to the community here... he really did cast a nasty shadow On the trip

 

From royal's perspective its one cruise passenger arbitrarily trying to put a restriction on the drink package that another cruise passenger paid for. Why would they do anything? 

[waxing witch]

OP, I'm sorry you had this experience. I remember how horrible I was when I was drinking. You and your family did what you could, but no one can control another's drinking. I like the idea of bartenders and their managers being able to 'cut off' a customer for a few hours to sober up. I also like the idea of not inviting this person along on future cruises with you.

 

You can't change or control his behavior, only your behaviors and reactions - don't include him in things where his drinking could be a problem. One other poster mentioned Al-Anon - if this is a family member you will have close and regular contact with, a meeting or two might give you some insight. Good luck.

[SandiLynn]

We are new to Royal and have done several on Carnival. On one of our 7 day cruises, on the first night we encountered a man wearing a flamingo suite. We spoke to the guy for a few minutes enquring about the suite. We thought he was a bit tipsy but could still hold a conversation. We all went to the bar together and ordered drinks. When the bar tender told him he had hit the 15 drink limit he started cursing and threatening the small female bar tender. At that point my husband went to other side of the bar to get her some help from another male bartender. We called security because we were concerned  about how far he was going to take things and security came, but he got even worse and they cuffed  him and took him out of bar. Later that night we were asked by management for written statements and told that he had lost drinking privileges  for 72 hours even though he paid for drink package. So, there are things that can be done and flags are used, but I guess it has to be extreme behavior for it to happen. Fortunately we did not see him again.

[awestover89]

I can say from experience if the person in question passes out from drinking too much, Royal can and will put a restriction on their card. We had a friend who had way too much one night on Harmony and fell asleep on the stair well walking back to his room. Security woke him up, escorted him back to his room, and put a 24 hour restriction on his card where he couldn't get any alcoholic drinks.

 

That being said, I don't think Royal should put any restrictions unless the person has shown that they are a danger to themselves or others. Just having too much and being tipsy/slurring your words is not enough.

 

Honestly if I were the OP I'd say he's a grown man and just ignore him. No need to ruin your own vacation babysitting a grown up. 

[Snit13]

4 hours ago, greykitty said:

Help me, please?  Are bar tenders, etc., not required to stop serving when a customer appears intoxicated (dramshop laws)?  I realize many ships fly flags of convenience to avoid certain laws and taxes, but surely their employees are instructed in recognizing intoxicated passengers?  And I realize some customers could be well over any reasonable standard of intoxication and not appear drunk at all.  

A responsible bar tender would have cut him off.  I have not read a post about alcohol poisoning but I am aware of people who ended up in emergency room having stomach pumped to save their lives due to consuming to much alcohol.  That would be one of my major concerns.  Correct me if I am wrong but I believe Royal might have some liability if someone ended up with alcohol poisoning while on a cruise.

When sailing Harmony in November we witnessed someone having to be revived by the medical team at the Bionic Bar.

[Cadiesmom]

Agree with Snit13. One passenger death from acute alcohol poisoning might cause a tightening of policies. People can and DO die from alcohol poisoning--I have a deceased nephew that proves it. I worked for 20 years at a Drug and Alcohol Treatment facility, and while every adult is ultimately responsible for their own decisions, a bartender is also responsible for theirs. When someone is so incapacitated by alcohol that they can no longer make safe decisions for themselves, a bartender IS responsible for that patrons safety-- on land or sea.

[tennislvr8]

Unfortunate situation with your family member. RCI should have a way to flag individuals, THEY deem have had too much, not from someone else. Imagine the lawsuits... 

They also should not arbitrarily punish those who can handle themselves. 

[TNcruising02]

I am so sorry you experienced this on your cruise.  I am sure you were very worried about things like alcohol poisoning or him doing something reckless near one of the balconies.  It really would be hard to ignore these dangers with a family member who has had way too much to drink.  It really does seem like Royal could have flagged his card in some way.

Now that the cruise is over, maybe someone should have a calm conversation with him to see if this has happened other times he has been drinking.  For some people, once they have that first drink they can easily lose control and will drink until they get sick, pass out, or both.  Binge drinking is an alcohol problem.  If your family can speak calmly with him, maybe he will open up and let you guide him toward help for his problems.  Maybe this is a one time thing and maybe it's not.  Discussing this with him without anger might be a way to see if he needs help with a much bigger issue.

Edited March 4, 2020 by TNcruising02

[ReneeFLL]

 

10 hours ago, d9704011 said:

Sorry, you may have misunderstood (my fault entirely).  I reported the original post to the mods.... this has nothing to do do with cruising; it’s about alcohol abuse.  Believe me, I know that is a serious topic that needs to be addressed somewhere other than Cruise Critic.

It has everything to do with cruising. Stepson is drinking to much because Royal sold him an UNLIMITED drink package. He is drinking way to much while on Royal's ship. Even if it didn't have anything to do with cruising and others are trying to help her why tell the mods anything? Move on to something that doesn't bother you. No one is forcing you to read it.

 

9 hours ago, Tulsacoker said:

yeah I'm scratching my head on that too 

Same here. I have seen things on here that I personally thought shouldn't be here, but in my wildest dreams I would never ever report them. 

 

5 hours ago, hotsauce126 said:

 

From royal's perspective its one cruise passenger arbitrarily trying to put a restriction on the drink package that another cruise passenger paid for. Why would they do anything? 

She was a concerned passenger who knew stepson was drinking to much. I think they would have paid close attention to him and cut him off for the night. If something bad happened to him then Royal would probably have a lawsuit on their hands. Not really something they need.

Edited March 4, 2020 by ReneeFLL

[hotsauce126]

Just now, ReneeFLL said:

 

She was a concerned passenger who knew someone was drinking to much. I think they would have paid close attention to him and cut him off for the night. If something bad happened to him then Royal would probably have a lawsuit on their hands. Not really something they need.

 

It's actually not up to any concerned passenger what the definition of "too much" is for anybody besides themself

[ReneeFLL]

17 minutes ago, hotsauce126 said:

 

It's actually not up to any concerned passenger what the definition of "too much" is for anybody besides themself

 

I agree, but since it was reported and a bartender cut him off it sounds like the bartender thought he had to much. Now if he was cut off simply because it was reported then that's wrong. He should have been observed before being cut off which I think they did, but I could be wrong. I would also think the bartender would have looked at his drinking history for the day. I would think 20 alcoholic drinks in a day would be a bit much for someone. I also could be wrong about that because it does depend on their size, drinking habits, which drinks, etc. 

 

The only reason I think Royal should step into cases like this is to protect themselves from lawsuits.

[Mary229]

If he wasn’t disruptive to the other guests or displaying signs of physical distress then what is the issue?  The cruise line is not his guardian.  There are lots of people overindulging on cruise ships, I tend to ignore their behavior even if I am related to them.      Imagine if they started nagging people for eating too much.