“So a Penguin, a Horse and Polar Bear walk into a bar on the Edge...

[K.T.B.]

[The Traveling Man]

On 4/15/2021 at 3:09 AM, Ommadawn said:

O.k... and now for a much better joke:

 

 

There was a couple on their honeymoon on a cruise ship. They do all of the fun stuff that couples do on their honeymoon. They eat, they drink, they make love and they even go to the front of the ship and recreate the "flying" scene from the movie Titanic. They were having a lot of fun.

 

The next to last night of the cruise is a formal night. The couple are getting ready when the bride realizes that she can't find her wedding ring. After searching the cabin over, she starts crying. Her husband tells her "look, it is probably here somewhere, it probably fell off during one of our vigorous love making sessions, we'll find it". However, the bride says "what if it fell into the sea while we were doing the Titanic scene? What if it is gone forever?"

 

Her husband says "don't worry, the ring is not our love, only a symbol of our love. If we can't find it tomorrow when we are packing up, when we get back home, I will buy you a bigger, better ring". This mollifies the bride. They finish getting dressed and they go to the main dining room.

 

Since they were married on the ship by the Captain on the ship, the couple are sitting at the Captain's Table. The Head Chef brings out a giant swordfish for the Captain's Table. He cuts it open and guess what they find?

 

 

The cinnamon roll.

Nice callback.

[K.T.B.]

[davekathy]

[MamaFej]

[Pinboy]

22 hours ago, tallyho8 said:

So... you've been eating hot dogs and McChicken all your life but don't want the vaccine because "you don't know whats in it"

That's the best !!! Maybe this should be on " Are vaccines the end of the tunnel " also ??

My Doctor is a bum and don't know nothing about good ( ?? ) food--- that's why he's skinny. 

He always says -- " Pinboy , if it tastes good -- don't eat it " !!!

How can a couple of hot dogs ( steamed ), a large fries , 2 diet cokes , and a carrot stick be bad for you ?? 

 

[davekathy]

2 hours ago, Pinboy said:

That's the best !!! Maybe this should be on " Are vaccines the end of the tunnel " also ??

My Doctor is a bum and don't know nothing about good ( ?? ) food--- that's why he's skinny. 

He always says -- " Pinboy , if it tastes good -- don't eat it " !!!

How can a couple of hot dogs ( steamed ), a large fries , 2 diet cokes , and a carrot stick be bad for you ?? 

 

Get rid of the horrible carrot stick and diet coke. Substitute with a large shake (your preferred flavor) and enjoy.  

[davekathy]

[sunnyduny]

2 horse in a in the house talking,the 1st horse brgging about all the races he has won (The grand national , gold cup, the derby, the kentucky derby ect) the 2nd horse is thinking how am i going to beat that. Just the the 1st horse see a picture of a zebra on the display table then asks who is in the picture the 2nd horse replys 

 

Oh thats me when i played for Juventus

[davekathy]

[davekathy]

[K.T.B.]

[C-Dragons]

[Denny01]

The great debate: Do you start from right to left or left to right?  

 

 

[davekathy]

[K.T.B.]

[PTC DAWG]

14 hours ago, K.T.B. said:

That's legit.  

[goofysmom99]

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

 

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

 

I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

 

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

Edited April 20, 2021 by goofysmom99

[tallyho8]

Tom, who does all the “editing out” of offensive posts at a Car Forum, finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his Crossfire for an upcoming Tail of the Dragon meet.

His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. ‟Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we’re married maybe it is time you quit spending all your time out here in the garage and just consider selling that thing.

Tom gets this horrified look on his face. She says, ”Darling, what’s wrong?‟

”There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.‟

”Ex-wife!‟, she screams, ”YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!!!!!!!‟

Tom’s reply: ”I wasn’t‟.

[C-Dragons]

[C-Dragons]

[goofysmom99]

Translations:

 

Harlez-vous Francais? - can you drive a French motorcycle?

 

Felix navidad - our cat has a boat.
 
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

[tallyho8]

[tallyho8]

A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding.

As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. "What are those for?" she asked suspiciously.

"I'm a juggler," the man replied. "I use those in my act."

"Well, show me," the officer demanded.

The driver got out the machetes and started juggling them, starting with three, then more, and then finally seven at one time. He juggled them overhand,
underhand, and behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer.

As another car passed by, the driver did a double take, and said to himself, "I've got to give up drinking! I'll never pass the test they're giving now."

[K.T.B.]