“So a Penguin, a Horse and Polar Bear walk into a bar on the Edge...

[davekathy]

[goofysmom99]

[tallyho8]

[K.T.B.]

[centurycruiser]

[K.T.B.]

8 hours ago, centurycruiser said:

 

*Argument.

 

(Yeah, I'm that guy.  )

[tallyho8]

A new teacher was trying to make use of some psychology courses she learned post grad. She directed the class, anyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up." After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, “Do you really think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?” “No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

[davekathy]

[Pickels]

This is another oldie but goodie and, I apologize ahead of time, to all the beautiful blonds out there who may be offended by this joke.  Please accept my apology if you are offended, I heard this joke about 40 years ago, so, times have changed and this may not be appropriate.  But anyway...

A young blond is flying to Hollywood, California but, she has an Economy ticket and is sitting in First Class.  The attendant tells her she has to go back to the Economy Class Section.  The blond tells her “I’m blond, beautiful and going to Hollywood”.   A boisterous argument results between the attendant and the blond.  With that, the pilot comes back to see what’s the commotion is all about.  The attendant tells him that this young lady is sitting in First Class but has an Economy ticket.  The pilot tells the young lady that she has to go back to Economy.  The blond tells him again: “I’m blond, beautiful and going to Hollywood”.   With that, the pilot leans over and whispers something into her ear.  Then the blond gets up and moves to the Economy Section.  “Wow” the attendant says; “What did you tell her?” The pilot says, “I told her First Class doesn’t fly to Hollywood!”.

[travelingbums]

good one

[C-Dragons]

5 minutes ago, Pickels said:

This is another oldie but goodie and, I apologize ahead of time, to all the beautiful blonds out there who may be offended by this joke.  Please accept my apology if you are offended, I heard this joke about 40 years ago, so, times have changed and this may not be appropriate.  But anyway...

A young blond is flying to Hollywood, California but, she has an Economy ticket and is sitting in First Class.  The attendant tells her she has to go back to the Economy Class Section.  The blond tells her “I’m blond, beautiful and going to Hollywood”.   A boisterous argument results between the attendant and the blond.  With that, the pilot comes back to see what’s the commotion is all about.  The attendant tells him that this young lady is sitting in First Class but has an Economy ticket.  The pilot tells the young lady that she has to go back to Economy.  The blond tells him again: “I’m blond, beautiful and going to Hollywood”.   With that, the pilot leans over and whispers something into her ear.  Then the blond gets up and moves to the Economy Section.  “Wow” the attendant says; “What did you tell her?” The pilot says, “I told her First Class doesn’t fly to Hollywood!”.

No need to apologize. 😉

I'm blonde and posted this joke here many months ago... it's still funny. 😁

Edited April 29, 2021 by C-Dragons

[Pinboy]

12 hours ago, davekathy said:

Same thing happened to Pinboy when he spent $ 1000 on a new set of golf irons.

The Pro said  " It's Guaranteed to improve your game --- or----- at least make you feel good ".

" Someone " who's not a golfer didn't care if the clubs are the " most forgiving " and came with a " sleeve" of ProV1's !! 

 

 

[Auntiemomo]

The blond walks into the library, and in a bellowing voice to the Librarian, "I'll have a Big Mac, FF, and a diet coke."

 

The Librarian looks at her and tells her, "Madam, this is a library."

 

The Blond, in a low, whispering voice responded:  "I'll have a Big Mac, FF, and a diet coke."

[tallyho8]

If my body was a car, I'd trade it in for a newer model because every time I cough or sneeze my radiator leaks and my exhaust backfires.

[tallyho8]

A blond bought a new car and the salesman explained all the features to her and how to check all the fluids. After having it a few months she started checking under the hood and removed the dipstick and discovered that the oil was low. 

 

She went and got a quart of oil and put it in and looked at her dipstick again, went and bought 3 more quarts and put them in. Disgusted, she phoned the dealership to complain. "I put 4 quarts of oil in this stupid car already and have been carefully watching the dipstick and the line on it hasn't moved yet".

[C-Dragons]

 

Why do men like exercising on Stairmasters?

Because their hands free to hold a beer and the TV remote control.

[davekathy]

[goofysmom99]

[K.T.B.]

[C-Dragons]

[K.T.B.]

My town takes no crap.

 

[ilikeanswers]

5 hours ago, C-Dragons said:

 

Niagara? That is Devils Pool Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe😳. No wonder his parents are worried, he can't read a map 😂. 

[tallyho8]

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

'Why?' asked the pilot.

'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' , he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'


The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . .
You're NOT my flight instructor?'

[PTC DAWG]

11 hours ago, ilikeanswers said:

 

Niagara? That is Devils Pool Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe😳. No wonder his parents are worried, he can't read a map 😂. 

Someone always has to be this guy, 

[ilikeanswers]

1 hour ago, PTC DAWG said:

Someone always has to be this guy, 

 

I thought it was funny 😂. I guess my humour doesn't translate😜.