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“So a Penguin, a Horse and Polar Bear walk into a bar on the Edge...

C-Dragons

By C-Dragons,
in Celebrity Cruises

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cantstopingcruising

cantstopingcruising

Posted
Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, Ommadawn said:

O.k... and now for a much better joke:

 

 

There was a couple on their honeymoon on a cruise ship. They do all of the fun stuff that couples do on their honeymoon. They eat, they drink, they make love and they even go to the front of the ship and recreate the "flying" scene from the movie Titanic. They were having a lot of fun.

 

The next to last night of the cruise is a formal night. The couple are getting ready when the bride realizes that she can't find her wedding ring. After searching the cabin over, she starts crying. Her husband tells her "look, it is probably here somewhere, it probably fell off during one of our vigorous love making sessions, we'll find it". However, the bride says "what if it fell into the sea while we were doing the Titanic scene? What if it is gone forever?"

 

Her husband says "don't worry, the ring is not our love, only a symbol of our love. If we can't find it tomorrow when we are packing up, when we get back home, I will buy you a bigger, better ring". This mollifies the bride. They finish getting dressed and they go to the main dining room.

 

Since they were married on the ship by the Captain on the ship, the couple are sitting at the Captain's Table. The Head Chef brings out a giant swordfish for the Captain's Table. He cuts it open and guess what they find?

 

 

The cinnamon roll.

You got me!

Edited by cantstopingcruising
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K.T.B.

K.T.B.

Posted
Posted

Just saw this one:

 

A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship, and ordered a Scotch, with two drops of water. The bartender gave her the drink, and she said, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday, and it's today." 
The bartender said, "Well, since it's your birthday, this one's on me." 
As the lady finished her drink, a woman, to her right, said, "I'd like to buy you a drink, too." The lady said, "Thank you, how sweet of you. OK, then, Bartender, I want another Scotch, with two drops of water." 
"Coming up," said the bartender. 
As she finished that drink, a man, to her left, said, "I'd like to buy you a drink too." The lady said, "Thank you very much, my dear. Bartender, I'll have another Scotch, with two drops of water." 
"Coming right up," the bartender said. 
As he gave her the drink, this time, he said, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" 
The old woman giggled, and replied, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue."

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centurycruiser

centurycruiser

Posted
Posted
21 hours ago, Ommadawn said:

O.k... you asked for it, the worst joke ever, the cinnamon roll joke:

 

 

A guy was riding down the beach on a bicycle with a cinnamon roll in the basket. He's riding down the beach, riding down the beach, riding down the beach when he hits a sand dune and the cinnamon roll falls out of the basket. He stops the bike, picks up the cinnamon roll, brushes the sand off of it and says "cinnamon roll, cinnamon roll, if you fall out of the basket one more time, I'm going to throw you into the sea". He then gets back on his bike, puts the cinnamon roll back into the basket and he continues down the beach.

 

He's riding down the beach, riding down the beach, riding down the beach when he hits a sand dune and the cinnamon roll falls out of the basket. He stops the bike, picks up the cinnamon roll, brushes the sand off of it and says "cinnamon roll, cinnamon roll, if you fall out of the basket one more time, I'm going to throw you into the sea". He then gets back on his bike, puts the cinnamon roll back into the basket and he continues down the beach.

 

He's riding down the beach, riding down the beach, riding down the beach when he hits a sand dune and the cinnamon roll falls out of the basket. He stops the bike, picks up the cinnamon roll, brushes the sand off of it and says "cinnamon roll, cinnamon roll, if you fall out of the basket one more time, I'm going to throw you into the sea!". He then gets back on his bike, puts the cinnamon roll back into the basket and he continues down the beach.

 

He's riding down the beach, riding down the beach, riding down the beach when he hits a sand dune and the cinnamon roll falls out of the basket. Guess what he does?

 

 

 

He throws the cinnamon roll into the sea.

A teenage boy gets a date for the prom and has to get a tux. When he’s at the tuxedo store there’s a long line. Finally, he gets his tux. Then he wants to get flowers but when he gets to the flower store there’s a long line. Finally, he gets his flowers. Then he wants to order a limo but when he gets to the limo store there’s a long line. Finally, he gets his limo. On prom night he and his date are dancing and when the music stopped she asked if he could get her some punch so he went to the punch table there was no punch line.

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Denny01

Denny01

Posted
Posted (edited)

You know you are retired when the only reason you change into ‘daytime clothes’ from your PJ’s is to go get the mail midday because you don’t want you neighbors seeing you still in your PJ’s!

(And I thought of this one myself....I Live this one.)

 

Den
 

Edited by Denny01
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