What's your FUNNIEST Celebrity cruise story?

[Vagabond Knight]

I am so happy that the level of doom and gloom on the board is lifting, that more and more of us are sailing again, and that we're back to debating dress codes and complaining about chair hogs.  OK, not all that excited about those last two items, but it's really nice to see things headed more and more towards "normal."  With our first post-pandemic cruise approaching, I've been thinking a lot about the fun and funny things that have happened on previous cruises.  I'm sure you all have had some funny moments as well, so let's hear 'em. 

What have you done, seen, or overheard during one of your Celebrity cruises that would give us all a chuckle or some giggles?  😆🤣🤪

[Vagabond Knight]

OK, I'll kick things off (true story)...
 

I took my first Celebrity cruise quite a few years ago with my two daughters, who were in their early 20s at the time.  The three of us were in the main dining room at a large table with another family. After dinner, my youngest daughter whispered to me, "Wow, they're pretty progressive on this ship!" 

"Uh, how so?" I asked her.

"Towards the end of dinner... when they came around with that tray of condoms!"

"Sweetie, those were teabags."

 

Edited March 15, 2022 by Vagabond Knight

[Jim_Iain]

I'm wondering if this qualifies as it was at the Hilton Rome Airport Pr-Cruise and involved a cruise passenger. 

 

We were in the lounge of the hotel having a bite to eat.    A portly fellow passenger came walking back to his table with two plates of food.   Trying to get between two tables he sucked it in and his shorts dropped to his ankles.   Not having  a free hand he had to shuffle all the way to his table with his pants at his ankles.  

[AndyCapn]

Not me but my parents. Throughout their 7-day Caribbean cruise, there were two empty seats at their assigned dining table of 10. On the final night, those seats were finally filled and this couple was dressed to the nines. Everyone exchanged pleasantries and began to look at the menu.

 

After a minute or two, the woman leaned over to my mother and asked, "I'm sorry, but I can't seem to find the prices." My mother matter-of-factly told her that everything is free, it's included with the fare.

 

The woman took her menu and whacked her husband on the arm. It turned out they had eaten at the buffet all week because he didn't want to pay extra for a restaurant, and was saving to splurge for the last night onboard.

[luv2camp04]

This man at the Sunset Bar!!

 

[Vagabond Knight]

Oh, that is both funny and sad about the folks who didn't know the MDR was included.  We need a few more reaction icons here on CC, 'cause that was a WOW!  😮

[graphicguy]

This was back in July on the EDGE, on one of the first few cruises after the restart (3rd or 4th?).  Is this funny?  Maybe.  Smile worthy, in a weird sort of way?  Definitely!

 

Everyone was excited to be cruising again.  Was supposed to be sailing with my GF, but she’s in healthcare and had to cancel because of the Ominicron surge, at the time, where work cancelled all time off.  So, I sailed solo (I’m newly retired).

 

Anyway, after having a bomb scare at FLL many of us on board had to negotiate, we immediately headed to different bars on board as long as they were outside,  for SAILAWAY.  I did the same after dropping off my luggage in the cabin.

 

It was there that I met two self proclaimed porn stars.  I’m not a prude.  I’ve seen porn…maybe not a lot, but I have seen it.  Apparently, at least according to them,  they were big stars in that genre of “entertainment”.  They were young (maybe early 20s), brash, and unafraid of showing anyone some of their video work that they took on their phones.  In addition, they were staying in the Retreat.  

 

They were drinking…..a lot….in a very short period of time.  Tequila shots with Red Bull, and sometimes a beer chaser.  They took selfies of each other in positions their Mothers would probably not approve of.  They definitely spoke as crudely as they could, in ways most would drop their jaw upon hearing.  I chuckled at them, but did so guiltily.  I wasn’t alone.

 

This was one of them, after shooting 3 straight tequila shots, IN A ROW.  On the 4th one, she missed her mouth.  She was embarrassed about missing her mouth with the shot, but wasn’t embarrassed about sharing any of her video “work” and compromising selfie pics with her friend (who was just as brash).

 

Heard other similar stories about these two throughout the week, to the point security followed them around quite a bit.

 

Funny then.  Sad after thinking about them as I had time to reflect.  Now, it’s funny, again!

 

 

[Vagabond Knight]

How many of your kids had puzzled looks on their faces when the announcement came that it was time for the "mustard drill" and that everyone needed to report to their "mustard station?" 

Again, this was my 20-something year old daughters on their first cruise.  They had me laughing the whole trip.

[SCGirl3211]

On about our third or fourth cruise my husband was headed to get some soft serve ice cream and was getting on the elevator.  Two mature ladies asked him where the theatre was and he told them what deck and that is was aft.  One of the ladies replied "which elevators take you to the front and back of the ship?"  He only laughed and told them to let him know if they figured it out!!

[canderson]

35 minutes ago, graphicguy said:

Heard other similar stories about these two throughout the week, to the point security followed them around quite a bit.

Yeah, security takes a pretty dim view of services for hire, and probably wondered if that was their game!

[Honolulu Blue]

3 hours ago, Vagabond Knight said:

What have you done, seen, or overheard during one of your Celebrity cruises that would give us all a chuckle or some giggles?  😆🤣🤪

 

My first post-pandemic cruise last September on the Summit had its share of wacky and surreal moments, powered by two numbers:

 

Passengers - 320 (including yours truly)

Crew - 750

 

Not so funny for Dick, Jason, or LLP at the time, but I thank them for providing me what will be as close to a private yacht experience as I'll get in this lifetime. 😁

[lola2013]

2 hours ago, luv2camp04 said:

This man at the Sunset Bar!!

 

😱

[TeeRick]

Playing trivia on board.  The question was "what is the largest member of the skunk family?"  The nice older woman at our table answered "the father". 

[Janthere]

2 hours ago, graphicguy said:

This was back in July on the EDGE, on one of the first few cruises after the restart (3rd or 4th?).  Is this funny?  Maybe.  Smile worthy, in a weird sort of way?  Definitely!

 

Everyone was excited to be cruising again.  Was supposed to be sailing with my GF, but she’s in healthcare and had to cancel because of the Ominicron surge, at the time, where work cancelled all time off.  So, I sailed solo (I’m newly retired).

 

Anyway, after having a bomb scare at FLL many of us on board had to negotiate, we immediately headed to different bars on board as long as they were outside,  for SAILAWAY.  I did the same after dropping off my luggage in the cabin.

 

It was there that I met two self proclaimed porn stars.  I’m not a prude.  I’ve seen porn…maybe not a lot, but I have seen it.  Apparently, at least according to them,  they were big stars in that genre of “entertainment”.  They were young (maybe early 20s), brash, and unafraid of showing anyone some of their video work that they took on their phones.  In addition, they were staying in the Retreat.  

 

They were drinking…..a lot….in a very short period of time.  Tequila shots with Red Bull, and sometimes a beer chaser.  They took selfies of each other in positions their Mothers would probably not approve of.  They definitely spoke as crudely as they could, in ways most would drop their jaw upon hearing.  I chuckled at them, but did so guiltily.  I wasn’t alone.

 

This was one of them, after shooting 3 straight tequila shots, IN A ROW.  On the 4th one, she missed her mouth.  She was embarrassed about missing her mouth with the shot, but wasn’t embarrassed about sharing any of her video “work” and compromising selfie pics with her friend (who was just as brash).

 

Heard other similar stories about these two throughout the week, to the point security followed them around quite a bit.

 

Funny then.  Sad after thinking about them as I had time to reflect.  Now, it’s funny, again!

 

 

 

We were on this same cruise and those 2 were quite entertaining to follow their antics from afar. I know however that there was at least one time where one of them propositioned the husband of a woman who had briefly left to go to the bar. Complaints were made and the girls were hauled down to security and detained (my husband happened to be nearby and saw this). The one girl said her father was a mega millionaire and they they would be suing Celebrity for the "horrible treatment" she was experiencing on the ship. It really felt like crazy town that cruise! 

[finny2]

Since I can only walk short distances and have poor balance, I use a wheelchair full time on board. I also am blind in one eye and hearing impaired. Last cruise we were assigned an MDR table that was not close to the entrance and the tables were kind of close. So one night, leaving the MDR, I got too close to a table on my blind side. I couldn’t see it but my wheelchair chair was pulling the tablecloth, and plates, glasses and food were perilously close to disaster. The servers were trying to tell me to stop, but I couldn’t hear them. Luckily someone got in front of me and stopped me before disaster struck. From now on,  I will always ask for a table easily accessible from the entrance.

[George C]

On our first celebrity cruise over ten years ago on solstice we were having dinner in Murano, place was pretty empty, there was a couple about 20 ft from us , one would leave then come back than other would leave , I thought maybe cigarette break, finally there food arrived and the woman picked up her full plate and threw it at the guy, waiter apologized, I thought it wad the best entertainment we had seen on the ship . 

[jbdawg]

Formal night and we came out of our cabin and started down the hall. a door 5 or so cabins in front of us opens and an elderly gentleman walks out into the hall in nothing but his whitey tighties (thank god he had those on!). Looks left then right to us as the door shuts behind him. realizing his mistake he starts beating on the door yelling his wife name. the look on his face was priceless as it took a minute for what he had done to click and there were a lot of people in the hall to boot.

[MamaFej]

I know we got a lot of smiles, weird looks, and a few questions on our 2017 Med cruise. I imagine we caused a few laughs as well. 
 

Since 1999, we’ve done family pajamas pictures for our Christmas cards. The older the kids got, the harder it was to get everyone together simultaneously, especially after the oldest moved to Montana for college. 
 

We were all together on the cruise to celebrate my 50th birthday, the oldest’s college and middle’s high school graduations. Hubby decided that nautically-themed jammies would be appropriate, so that’s what I found. 
 

On a photography/Evening Chic night, we donned our jammies and tried a few backgrounds before changing for dinner. We weren’t happy with any photos, and figured we’d try again on the next EC night. 
 

We happened to be cruising with our dear friend/TA, who managed to get our group invited to a helipad sail away. Perfect! Another member of our group took some great pictures of us, sipping champagne and juice with gorgeous Santorini in the background. They are among my all-time favorite pajama pictures. Hubby has one of the two of us as his iPad wallpaper. 

[XtaSea]

Several years ago on the Summit we'd just left Bermuda when an amicable young couple chose us to converse with at the Martini Bar. They were very drunk and loud, so everyone within earshot was very aware of them. At one point, the young man threw his arms around his girlfriend and with a proud massive grin announced to us that on a Bermuda beach the night before, they had "constipated" their relationship. I replied, "That must have been painful." It took him a minute to realize why the other bar patrons were laughing so hard.

[graphicguy]

1 hour ago, janbear said:

We were on this same cruise and those 2 were quite entertaining to follow their antics from afar. I know however that there was at least one time where one of them propositioned the husband of a woman who had briefly left to go to the bar. Complaints were made and the girls were hauled down to security and detained (my husband happened to be nearby and saw this). The one girl said her father was a mega millionaire and they they would be suing Celebrity for the "horrible treatment" she was experiencing on the ship. It really felt like crazy town that cruise! 

They had all sorts of stories.  They told me personally that they were both dating NFL players and were rich as a result.  So, sounds like they had a story for every occasion.

 

I only encountered them a couple of times.  Once where the picture I posted was taken.  I think that was the Sunset Bar.  And, I encountered them again at the Magic Carpet.  One of them propositioned a guy right in front of his wife.  Security came and asked them to leave at the man's request.  They were belligerent, but did indeed leave.

 

I was staying in the Retreat.  They told me they were, too.  But, I never saw them in any of the Retreat areas the entire cruise.

 

They were the start of many a conversation to those who encountered them.

 

I do have to say, it was an entertaining cruise all the way around.

[PTC DAWG]

2 hours ago, janbear said:

We were on this same cruise and those 2 were quite entertaining to follow their antics from afar. I know however that there was at least one time where one of them propositioned the husband of a woman who had briefly left to go to the bar. Complaints were made and the girls were hauled down to security and detained (my husband happened to be nearby and saw this). The one girl said her father was a mega millionaire and they they would be suing Celebrity for the "horrible treatment" she was experiencing on the ship. It really felt like crazy town that cruise! 

I would have laughed and told them thanks but no thanks..my Wife would have laughed even harder.

[Sailing Shoes]

When my daughter graduated from high school I took her on her first cruise. At one of the ports we had our picture taken with the ship in the background. As we were setting up the photographer asked if we were honeymooners. My daughter could have died!! Eleven years later we’re about to cruise again and she shows up on the confirmation as “Mrs”. She’s single. I’m laughing again 😀

[PTC DAWG]

1 hour ago, jbdawg said:

Formal night and we came out of our cabin and started down the hall. a door 5 or so cabins in front of us opens and an elderly gentleman walks out into the hall in nothing but his whitey tighties (thank god he had those on!). Looks left then right to us as the door shuts behind him. realizing his mistake he starts beating on the door yelling his wife name. the look on his face was priceless as it took a minute for what he had done to click and there were a lot of people in the hall to boot.

I have done that in a hotel before… 🙂

[Cruise Raider]

Not sure if this is funny but it tickled me when I saw it happen.  

We were up in the lounge one day while anchored in Monterey, California during a 'spring break cruise'.  There were not a lot of people there but we stayed onboard and so there were only another couple of women up there near the window.  We had been watching the whales in the water right outside the ship.  The women's teenagers came up to complain and gripe because there was nobody onboard in their age group and it was before they could use WiFi / their phones to communicate with their friends at home. They wanted to make some very expensive phone calls (not sure if they would have been all that expensive because we weren't out at sea) and their mothers told them no.  I was pointing out the whales that were slipping in and out of the water but they would have nothing of it.  They defiantly, like teenagers can sometimes do, stated, "this is INTOLERABLE!!!".  Oh my goodness, the drama!!  I couldn't help but snicker about that.  

 

Now, for my funniest story (I have to apologize ahead of time for this if it is a little crude).  It wasn't onboard but on a celebrity thread here on CC from years ago.  There was a post about this lady that got into the hot tub and she had sores on her that were full of pus and it grossed this man out so much he decided to post about it.  Well, he didn't exactly use the term sores full of pus, instead, he said she had pussy sores all over.  OMG, it wasn't only me but many others reacted by asking how did you even see her sores ... I could hardly stop laughing at how that could be misinterpreted and it was unbeknownst to him.  

Edited March 15, 2022 by Cruise Raider

[MamaFej]

5 hours ago, graphicguy said:

 

I remember following your Live From on this cruise. I hope your GF enjoys her jewelry. 
 

Now, I wonder how many folks zoomed in on the picture to see if they recognize the tattoo.