Conversation openers for first meal aboard?

[Nippy Sweetie]

Just thinking about our next river cruise in September I was wondering how to open conversation with new table mates. We usually sit on a larger table and enjoy the company. Often people will be exchanging experiences of previous cruises. However, on a different social media site people were saying that that is just showing off. It truly isn't in our case and I always want to hear others' experiences. 

On one cruise at a table for 8 one passenger opened with an extremely contentious political topic absolutely assuming that we all agreed with him. There was a brief silence then an Australian just took the speaker to bits! We were relieved but the meal then passed in silence all round!

So what's a safe topic?

[CDNPolar]

Not to say that it should not be discussed here, but there is a similar topic that was posed in the "Ask a Cruise Question" forum.  Quite an interesting thread to read.

 

I believe that in the end, the main topics that everyone felt should not be discussed were:

 

1) Politics

2) Religion
3) Global Warming

 

We personally love to hear others travel stories, especially about cruise itineraries or destinations that we have yet to have experienced.  We want to know about the cruise line, the tour company, what they loved and did not love.  We especially want to know about the food.

 

We to this point have been very Viking Ocean/River loyal and we are in around 10-12 Viking cruises.  We often open with new friends at a table with:  "Is this your first Viking cruise?"

 

On our last River cruise this past December, that was my opening like with several couples that we met and dined with and surprisingly to us, they were all on their first Viking cruise.  Then our next question is how does Viking compare in your experience to your other cruise experiences?  Would you book Viking again?

 

This kind of start to a conversation where we/I ask a few questions really expanding into their experience really gets the conversation going and they eventually become interested in our experiences.

 

We will also ask if our table companions have been to "this part of the world before" or "this city before"?  We also ask about the day's excursions as often our table companions have been on different excursions than we took that day.  What did they like, what was the best part of the excursion to them, what was the most interesting fact that they learned today?

There are so many things that you can talk about, but I will admit, we tend to talk in the beginning about travel.

 

If we are eating with the same folks over a few days, then the conversation moves more personal to career, family, home, etc.

 

We AVOID politics and religion with every breath in our beings.

 

Here is the link to the other discussion:

 

 

 

 

[Nippy Sweetie]

Thanks. I hadn't realised that this had been a topic before now. American and Canadian politics are a closed book to me - we have enough to worry about with UK politics! 

We generally get along fine with other diners and soon find out the kindred spirits - and who aren't! 

I always surprised us to be in the minority as UK cruisers but it's always interesting. 

[sharkster77]

I tend to identify very very quickly those who believe their politics are the ONLY correct politics and cannot wait to "straighten me out", and I will avoid them like bubonic plague for the rest of the cruise or tour.

 

Often, someone will ask what state we come from, and if they instantly make assumptions about us based on that, that person joins the avoid-list.

Edited March 2 by sharkster77

[Squawkman]

We always start by asking if this is their first Viking cruise. That will set a tone that usually carries through the meal.

[notamermaid]

You are in Scotland, so you will know about the British conversation topics "weather and the state of the roads". In all earnest, I find that topics like those everyone can relate to and they rarely get you into unhappy or embarrassing situations. Weather should not drift into climate change of course, I agree about avoiding that. Politics only ever if it relates to the country you are currently in and it may affect you or be of some historic importance. Religion, probably not a good idea either. At my table we started off by figuring out where we came from - mixed German and English speakers but not native English - and talking about how we got to the river cruise - train or car - and looking at the landscape outside our window (do you live near a river or the sea?), etc.

 

Once you have cruised for a day you can of course relate to the day's events.

 

notamermaid

 

[Daisi]

We usually introduce ourselves, saying we are Canadian, and asking our table mates about where they are from. It's interesting finding out about places and being able to talk about areas we have been or know of. How many cruises or where others have been comes much later.  Last cruise, we had some that we had seen in the airports waiting for Passport Control, so that gave us all a good opener.

[pontac]

7 hours ago, CDNPolar said:

I believe that in the end, the main topics that everyone felt should not be discussed were:

 

2) Religion

 

One of the most memorable and enjoyable dining companions we had on a cruise were two American couples who were friends. The men were both pastors of a church in northern California on the border with Oregon. They had not met people who didn't believe; we had never met anyone who believed every word of the bible was literal truth. We had some good discussions. We both could sit elsewhere at subsequent meals but didn't as we had such interesting talks. We perplexed them and vice versa, and no-ones beliefs were changed.

 

Another time a simple 'what do you do' brought forward the info at we were dining with a couple of eye surgeons. Talking with them gave me the confidence to go ahead with eye lens replacement surgery. For the first time since I was 9 I don't wear spectacles.

 

One meets all sorts on a river cruise.

 

Viking used to give out name badges with the state you were from, now they don't enquiring after the state is usually the first question American ask each other.

[CastleCritic]

Who you are and where you are from are typical. Maybe work you do/did. How you are finding the cruise/ship. 
 

definitely have always ended up comparing cruise history. 
 

one of the things the cruise director asked first night first cruise. “What flag is on the back of the ship?” (Switzerland). “And the Swiss are known to be neutral, please keep discussion on religion, politics and sports to a minimum”

[cbr663]

For the first meal you know that you all have at least one thing in common - the cruise.  Talking about the cruise, the itinerary and excursions should be more than enough to take you through the meal.

 

[Nippy Sweetie]

10 hours ago, CastleCritic said:

Who you are and where you are from are typical. Maybe work you do/did. How you are finding the cruise/ship. 
 

definitely have always ended up comparing cruise history. 
 

one of the things the cruise director asked first night first cruise. “What flag is on the back of the ship?” (Switzerland). “And the Swiss are known to be neutral, please keep discussion on religion, politics and sports to a minimum”

Imagine having to announce this. There must have been trouble on a previous cruise!

[Canal archive]

Love the Australians there always wonderful at putting anyone in their right place love them for their absolute ability to do so. There is absolutely no reason to not talk about previous cruises nearly everyone has a story and those who are cruising for the first time will be enchanted. In an eight table group especially an over the top person could soon be put down or in their place. Don’t worry you’ve got plenty of opportunities to talk to many others on board. Enjoy.

[cbr663]

I understand how sharing your cruising/travel history with others can be perceived as showing off or boasting.  Leisure travel is yet another form of conspicuous consumption and sharing your travel history is akin to sharing the square footage of your home, the brand of vehicle that you drive or the size of your closet.  The only person who really cares about your cruising history is you.

 

I get it that a lot of cruisers like to wear their cruising days as a badge of honour.  Compounding this is that many cruise lines have customer loyalty programs that reward sailing days.  The more days sailed the higher the rewards.  And of course this makes sense for a profit seeking business to reward its customers who spend more.  It's important to remember always though that as cruisers we are still consumers and to share how much we consume and with what businesses is rather gauche.

 

Personally I steer away from any discussions on cruise history or even whether this is someone's first cruise, as to do is, imo, a social faux pas.

[CastleCritic]

Im only familiar with the loyalty program from AMA.  But there really the only thing that you really get is related to rooms (slight discount, automatic upgrade within the same tier of rooms)  and a single reception with a drink or two and some appetizers. It's not like what may exist on ocean liners where you get preferential access to X.

 

Ive never heard anyone "lord" their cruise count over anyone else.  And Im decent at reading people Ive never run into anyone who was feigning interest. in someone else's cruise history, usually it's the opposite, they ask about it first and are looking for what people think so they an choose to do/not do that.

Personally I dont care what other people think of me or need my 'ego stroked' so I'm definitely not trying to show off if I discuss my cruise history or future plans.

Edited March 3 by CastleCritic

[Kristelle]

I don't think general conversation about cruise or travel history are off limits or boasting at all - and that is coming from me who has not done as much as some other people

 

Have you been on a cruise before/ to wherever we are before/ where are you from/ did you enjoy whatever activity we did today - they all seem good starters to me - and Ive not encountered anyone who then launches into boast-listing all their travels and their top level suites.

and  I care - or at least am interested in discussing - where other people have been and what holidays they enjoyed.  I don't see that as a 'nobody else cares' topic the way eg discussing your medical history might be.,

These common starters were usually the type other people used too  and they probably work for any setting - cruising. land tours etc

 

[Deb922]

Asking about dogs and grandchildren is always an option. 
 

I usually start out with where they are from, do they have children or dogs. My husband will get in a discussion about gardening. 
 

You usually figure out what someone’s political views are at some point. I ask for kindness and respect. Sometimes you don’t find that and we can move on. 

[Mrs. Claypool]

I once sat down at table with an elderly woman who looked at me and snarled, “I hate Eleanor Roosevelt!”

 

I still get twitchy, thinking about that encounter. 

[franski]

We are fairly well travelled - and have clocked up quite a number of river cruises.  I am always honest if asked.  I have not gotten the sense that I am perceived as "boasting" when I mention the number we have taken - as people often ask how many times we have cruised the rivers.   Rather, people have usually gone on to ask my favourite line, my favourite itinerary etc.  Or ask specific questions about an itinerary they are interested in.  Just as I would (and do) if I meet people who have travelled places I have yet to visit. 

 

Is it because river cruising is considered an expensive way to travel?  I almost always book a sale - and travel lowest category.  I am also not brand loyal... and when people find out I have travelled with different companies, there are often questions about the differences.  

 

If people ask about my cruising history, I will tell them.  If it is considered "boasting", and is unpleasant for them, they can always sit at another table from that point on.

 

Fran

 

 

 

 

[Canal archive]

Mrs Claypool did you ask why? But wow I bet that set you back a bit, I’d loved to have been there. Although yes I’m with you twitchy yes.

 

[Mrs. Claypool]

Mrs. Roosevelt is a personal hero of mine, but I reminded myself that I didn’t come on a European cruise just to defend her honor. So I raised my eyebrows and said “Ah!” in a noncommittal way. And then I hid behind my menu.

 

But the good thing about the encounter was that it set the bar pretty low for all future conversation openers for first night meals.  🤣🤣🤣

[sharkster77]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Claypool said:

I once sat down at table with an elderly woman who looked at me and snarled, “I hate Eleanor Roosevelt!”

 

I still get twitchy, thinking about that encounter. 

At a work-related conference, sitting down to lunch, we all introduced ourselves--one man added to his intro, "I have to let  you all know (the US president at the time, will not name him here) is a communist!!!!"

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKK, I then stayed as far away from this guy as possible for the rest of the conference.

[Nippy Sweetie]

Once on an ocean cruise one couple opened by asking what everyone's favourite kitchen appliance was. Unfortunately, they were in deadly earnest. 😬

[cbr663]

Some suggestions:

 

1.  What has been the highlight of your day so far?

2.  What port are you looking forward to the most?

3.  What excursion are you most excited about?

[Canal archive]

Nippy Sweeti I’m dying to know there’s and yours, but what a hoot I suppose it did break the ice though.

[Nippy Sweetie]

@Canal archiveit was on an ocean cruise with fixed seating. After a few meals we ended up having room service spag bol as the conversation deteriorated even from discussion of washing machine Vs dishwasher and best places to buy white goods! After that we moved to Viking cruises. Phew!