Uncomfortable experience with sommelier

[canderson]

9 minutes ago, michri said:

It was in the MDR.  You are correct about not coming back if you decline at first.  I found that as well in the lounges.

And unless we've previewed the menu and know what we want for entrees that evening, we're guaranteed to decline 'at first'.  We always make a point of letting them know that we'll need to see them as soon as we've made our dinner selections, else we've also been 'forgotten'. 

[Jazzbo]

We enjoy our wine, beer, and cocktails, but we have friends and family who are alcoholics and some who struggle from time to time. To my mind, a passenger saying, “I don’t drink” should be tantamount to a passenger saying, “I’m allergic to alcohol.” Period. It doesn’t matter if the passenger is an alcoholic, is trying to control consumption, is taking medication that contraindicates alcohol consumption, or has an early morning the next day. Alcohol is a drug; it can trigger unfortunate reactions; it can interact with medications; it can trigger unfortunate behavior; etc. 

If a passenger said they were allergic to peanuts, would a crew member put peanuts or something containing peanuts in front of them???

OP should bring it up while still onboard and mention it in the Celebrity-solicited review.

 

 

[NutsAboutGolf]

2 hours ago, Jim_Iain said:

 

I have been told directly by Sommelier's, Hotel Directors  and Maitr' d's they wish to be advised immediately so they can take appropriate actions otherwise other guests may have the same problem.   If they know about it they can address it.

 

I once had a problem with a Sommelier (I don't drink) and Iain's Glass set empty for over 20 minutes forcing me to get up and retrieve our Purchased full bottle to fill his glass.   I complained only asking that we get more attentive service.   They went over board and the Head Sommelier called me and sent a nice bottle of wine to our room.   He dropped by our table that night and advised he would be serving us for the remainder of the cruise.   It was overkill and I swear the Sommelier was shooting eye knives our way every time he walked past our table.  

 

Last cruise Iain asked for his favorite Chardonnay and was told it was aboard but was not unpacked yet.  After the 3rd day with the same excuse,  Iain sent an Attention To Detail message.   The FB Manager called him and wanted to meet with him.  We did and he apologized and said it was available and there was no reason it should not have been served.   He was assured it would be available for the remainder of the cruise which it was.   Next night the Sommelier served it and then dropped a bill on the table to be signed.  Iain politely said it was under the by the glass limit and had no intention of buying a bottle... if he had a problem call the FB Manager.... I think the problem was the guy was new and was not properly trained.... no excuse.

 

That's why I mentioned training, the alcohol push by the OP's Sommelier was probably well-intended inclusiveness/uniformity with the toasting photo.  Also, most crew members are not from the US and their home country may have different national cultures and local sub-cultures and could view alcohol differently than the US.  Training would ensure this doesn't happen again

 

Coincidently, I haven't had any problem with any X crew member except one, who was a Murano Sommelier on my very first X sailing in 2019.  In short, he blatantly lied and it felt like a used car salesman.  Claimed the less money we spend on wine, the less we will enjoy our meal due to the lack of (and I quote) "paired flavor profiles".  I wanted to press him on flavor profiles but he already fed us BS, I'm sure anything else he says about them will be BS

[hcat]

34 minutes ago, Jazzbo said:

We enjoy our wine, beer, and cocktails, but we have friends and family who are alcoholics and some who struggle from time to time. To my mind, a passenger saying, “I don’t drink” should be tantamount to a passenger saying, “I’m allergic to alcohol.” Period. It doesn’t matter if the passenger is an alcoholic, is trying to control consumption, is taking medication that contraindicates alcohol consumption, or has an early morning the next day. Alcohol is a drug; it can trigger unfortunate reactions; it can interact with medications; it can trigger unfortunate behavior; etc. 

If a passenger said they were allergic to peanuts, would a crew member put peanuts or something containing peanuts in front of them???

OP should bring it up while still onboard and mention it in the Celebrity-solicited review.

 

 

Excellent Post!

[mrgabriel]

I have not read all of the replies but this made me think of me and my shellfish allergy. We've been to parties where people have put a plate in front of me which includes shellfish and said I can just leave it there or pick what I want to eat.

 

No. I may die.

 

That's how the sommelier should treat this. You've said no. Don't push anything on me. Don't leave it in front of me. I said no. 

[mahdnc]

On 7/13/2024 at 5:00 PM, snoopydo said:

Currently on Summit and did the Chef’s Table dinner last night. (Other than the galley tour it’s not worth it but that’s not what this post is about.)

 

You meet for the dinner at the large table outside of sushi restaurant for a toast, a short speech, and a photo before going down to galley tour and Tuscan Grille for the dinner. Here is the very short version of what happened:

 

I do not drink alcohol so about 30 minutes before the meeting time I went up and let the wine person setting things up that I don’t drink. He kept saying “oh it’s just for the toast” and I kept repeating but I don’t drink. After a couple rounds of this I sort of gave up and walked away.

 

Then the event starts and he is pouring Prosecco for everyone. He gets to me and pauses. I again tell him I don’t drink and he again tries to press me to take some “just for the toast.”

 

It does not matter if you drink or not: we all know people who, for various reasons, choose not to drink. For some people that choice is a constant struggle. To have a crew member basically pushing me to drink became very uncomfortable. 
 

In the end I had to finally get a bit more loud with my no to him. So he just left me there with my empty glass. I guess it finally occurred to him that was not a good look so offered me some ginger beer. At that point I just wanted to run away and hide in my cabin. 
 

The whole experience was at best uncomfortable and worst upsetting. I keep thinking about those who struggle more than I do with alcohol and how triggering such an interaction could be. 
 

I don’t see any point in bringing this up to management onboard as we all know I will just get the standard platitudes “I’m so sorry I’ll let someone know” response and nothing will come of it. I just felt the need to share this experience to get it off my mind as best I can. 

 

I am sorry to read about your experience.  We had the Chef's Table also on Summit this past April (Panama Canal sailing).  I believe that we had a person or two at our table that didn't drink either and I believe that it was handled much better that time (maybe a different crew member).

 

[lahore]

I also don't drink, for medical reasons.  If I encounter this kind of insensitivity (after my first, polite, refusal) I generally reply with "well if I drink your alcohol, you will have to call the emergency medical team, what would you prefer'....or something like that.  

[WrittenOnYourHeart]

10 hours ago, NMTraveller said:

One should not have to spend hours on the phone with Miami while on an excursion...

Who said anything about hours on the phone with Miami while on an excursion?

 

 

[WrittenOnYourHeart]

10 hours ago, NMTraveller said:

I don't sail Royal anymore there is a very good reason ...

No one should have to sail Royal.

 

Well, clearly they listen to feedback better than you seem to believe Celebrity does. As exhibited by my experiences and this mythical call to Miami while on an excursion you keep referencing.

[LouChamp]

Aloha. I feel bad that your experience set a tone for what should be an enjoyable experience.  That said I am shocked that this employee as I will call him had no tact in handling what I'm sure is a common occurrence.  I have medical issues issues which precludes drinking and would have spoken with his supervisor. I appreciate you posting on these boards and hope your future experiences are more enjoyable. 

[Jim_Iain]

15 hours ago, Pushka said:

After reading the most recent posts today, including those commenting on your credibility I totally understand why you were reluctant to even raise the matter. Please ignore them. You will know who they are. 
 

 

 

Please don't get disappointed and stop posting.   Your views and questions are both valid and enriching to read. 

 

Unfortunately I get many personal e-mails from users that say they now longer post because the get beat up every time they post.  Unfortunately this is common when people like to bully and hide behind a anonymous handle.

 

I've learned I have to have a tough skin and use the Ignore User functionality for those that are negative about everything. 

[JFontaine]

I disagree with the 'advice' to the OP that he should report this. The OP already had one bad experience, why should they  risk having two? The OPs only job on a cruise is to have a great time. Not train people, not do anything that they (maybe not you) feels uncomfortable.   I think the OP did a service coming here with a warning (thank you).  It doesn't matter that other people might have handled it differently.  I've been cruising for a very long time, and I've escalated issues.  Many times I have felt I've wasted my precious on-board time.  

[minniemouse427]

I find very few drinks that contain alcohol, drinkable. I am not a fan of almost all wines and beers and will drink a few mixed drinks where I can't taste any alcohol. Champagne and prosecco are definitely not things I drink at all. For my wedding we had sparkling cider in my glass so the pictures wouldn't have me making a face!

I was lucky to navigate my college years with a bunch of friends that honored my dislike of alcohol and took it on as a challenge to find something that I would drink (turns out it was one Midori Sour or Fuzzy Navel, both are too sweet to drink a lot).

All that to say is I get it and I hate it when people don't honor my choices when I say I don't drink alcohol. 

Over the years I have peeked at the Chef's Table menus and thought the food looked amazing, but could never rationalize the cost as I don't want to pay for alcohol that I am not drinking. In your shoes, in this situation, I think I would have paired my "I don't drink alcohol" statement with a request for something else to drink (which you have since commented you should have done). I am super comfortable making these types of requests in the moment as I don't want to stand there, thirsty.

It is 100% your decision how you give feedback. In the moment may have made it less of an issue and not overshadowed the rest of your experience. After the fact on board may also have helped, but you are correct that it may or may not have resolved the situation and to be honest, it may not be resolved well post cruise either ...but again your decision to handle how you are most comfortable.

 

In the end, please make sure that they do hear the feedback. That way you know that you did your part and what they do with the information is up to them...and out of your hands. It is important for all the reasons that have already been pointed out. No one should be pressured to hold a glass of something that they don't want to or cannot drink just for a photo op! 

Edited July 15 by minniemouse427

[Travel-and-See]

I also think that it should be noted that some people want to avoid alcohol for social / religious reasons and may not want to even appear to be participating in an event with alcohol. 

[ScottC4746]

On 7/13/2024 at 3:00 PM, snoopydo said:

Currently on Summit and did the Chef’s Table dinner last night. (Other than the galley tour it’s not worth it but that’s not what this post is about.)

 

You meet for the dinner at the large table outside of sushi restaurant for a toast, a short speech, and a photo before going down to galley tour and Tuscan Grille for the dinner. Here is the very short version of what happened:

 

I do not drink alcohol so about 30 minutes before the meeting time I went up and let the wine person setting things up that I don’t drink. He kept saying “oh it’s just for the toast” and I kept repeating but I don’t drink. After a couple rounds of this I sort of gave up and walked away.

 

Then the event starts and he is pouring Prosecco for everyone. He gets to me and pauses. I again tell him I don’t drink and he again tries to press me to take some “just for the toast.”

 

It does not matter if you drink or not: we all know people who, for various reasons, choose not to drink. For some people that choice is a constant struggle. To have a crew member basically pushing me to drink became very uncomfortable. 
 

In the end I had to finally get a bit more loud with my no to him. So he just left me there with my empty glass. I guess it finally occurred to him that was not a good look so offered me some ginger beer. At that point I just wanted to run away and hide in my cabin. 
 

The whole experience was at best uncomfortable and worst upsetting. I keep thinking about those who struggle more than I do with alcohol and how triggering such an interaction could be. 
 

I don’t see any point in bringing this up to management onboard as we all know I will just get the standard platitudes “I’m so sorry I’ll let someone know” response and nothing will come of it. I just felt the need to share this experience to get it off my mind as best I can. 

This is VERY much WORTH bring up with management.  I had a friend on a different cruise line who was in a similar situation.  He was in recovery and the insisting pushed him off the wagon.  Any F & B person must be aware that there is a reason the person said no and let it be.  The passenger needn't divulge what the reasoning is for a no.  This could be anything from personal choice, religious choice, medical choice, or they are in recovery.  If the latter, is it important that they take that no and walk away and not push.  The passenger in recovery is already in a situation, but their will power is making it work.  As in the case of my friend, he felt awkward and gave in to make the wine steward happy.

[Liao]

8 minutes ago, ScottC4746 said:

This is VERY much WORTH bring up with management.  I had a friend on a different cruise line who was in a similar situation.  He was in recovery and the insisting pushed him off the wagon.  Any F & B person must be aware that there is a reason the person said no and let it be.  The passenger needn't divulge what the reasoning is for a no.  This could be anything from personal choice, religious choice, medical choice, or they are in recovery.  If the latter, is it important that they take that no and walk away and not push.  The passenger in recovery is already in a situation, but their will power is making it work.  As in the case of my friend, he felt awkward and gave in to make the wine steward happy.

And the proper thing to have done is to of offered and asked discreetly if they had a non alcoholic substitute they could provide for them.  Plenty wrong with the way this was handled.

[keesar]

4 hours ago, Liao said:

And the proper thing to have done is to of offered and asked discreetly if they had a non alcoholic substitute they could provide for them.  Plenty wrong with the way this was handled.

Agree.  Could have been better handled by all parties involved.  

[Travel-and-See]

48 minutes ago, keesar said:

Agree.  Could have been better handled by all parties involved.  

If by all parties you mean the Sommelier then I agree. 

[NMTraveller]

8 hours ago, JFontaine said:

I disagree with the 'advice' to the OP that he should report this. The OP already had one bad experience, why should they  risk having two? The OPs only job on a cruise is to have a great time. Not train people, not do anything that they (maybe not you) feels uncomfortable.   I think the OP did a service coming here with a warning (thank you).  It doesn't matter that other people might have handled it differently.  I've been cruising for a very long time, and I've escalated issues.  Many times I have felt I've wasted my precious on-board time.  

Same here...

My advice is that he can report it if he wants and let it go if it is not resolved satisfactorily.  There are quite of few of those cases lately.  You are on vacation after all.

 

Some times it can be better to let it go.  

Edited July 16 by NMTraveller

[NMTraveller]

15 hours ago, WrittenOnYourHeart said:

Who said anything about hours on the phone with Miami while on an excursion?

 

 

I did.  It was an issue with Celebrity and the conduct of the tour guide.  That is all that I care to say... 

Edited July 16 by NMTraveller

[FeebeeH]

I'm sorry that you were placed in this awful situation.  I for various reasons am a non-drinker and dislike this culture of pushing alcoholic drinks onto non-drinks so they can appear to conform with everyone else, which has happened to me many a time. I accompanied my sister & brother in law twice on food/wine tastings as designated driver.  On both occasions the sommelier, knowing my wishes, offered me a glass and carafe of water I could drink whilst everyone sampled the wines.  You made your wishes known four times, yet the sommelier didn't think to put a glass of water aside for you.  Your sommelier needs training in how to  cater for those who don't drink alcohol. 

[Nachosdelux]

Once again the Celebrity cheerleaders are quick to victim shame/blame.

 

No excuse for the behavior of the employee (regardless of intent or possible misunderstanding).  No means No, end of story.

 

OP should briefly speak to Hotel Director.  Perhaps it will prevent the employee from doing it again.  

Edited July 16 by Nachosdelux

[keesar]

The OP should have asked for water or a soda directly in the beginning.  Be direct and make wishes known as there could possibly be a language barrier.   I have asked for orange juice or water and it was delivered.  

[Travel-and-See]

3 hours ago, keesar said:

The OP should have asked for water or a soda directly in the beginning.  Be direct and make wishes known as there could possibly be a language barrier.   I have asked for orange juice or water and it was delivered.  

A sommelier who is supposed to be trained on how to describe however many wines on Celebrity Ships has a language barrier?  What an interesting concept. 

[NMTraveller]

9 hours ago, Travel-and-See said:

A sommelier who is supposed to be trained on how to describe however many wines on Celebrity Ships has a language barrier?  What an interesting concept. 

"supposed to be trained"