what is the wildest,craziest thing you've ever seen on a cruise?

[momofmeg]

I have spent the last 6 hours reading all 45 pages of this thread and laughing my fool head off! My kids thought I was reading a Stephanie Plum novel! I can't believe this thread has been kept alive for 5 years!

 

The only somewhat funny story I have happened at dinner on our first cruise. We were seated with one other couple near the wait station. The couple was elderly and were on a cruise given to them by their kids for their 50th Anniversary. Angelo and Doreen were the sweetest things. Anyway, at dinner our first night, we were having a nice discussion when Angelo suddenly got quiet and you could tell he was getting angry. We asked him what was wrong and he didn't say anything. When our waiter and his asst. came to the table, Angelo started speaking to them in Italian. Both waiters faces fell to the floor!!! Seems the 2 of them were making disparaging remarks about the pax thinking no one understood them. Turned out Angelo was a first generation Italian American! Angelo never did tell us what they said and after that first night, all 4 of us switched to a table for 6 so we never saw that wait staff again!

 

You would think the waiters would have known better. Although most Americans do not know a second language, most first and second generation Americans do. I know my daughter's friend knows French because her mother was born in Haiti. She says it is not true French more of a prole language but I bet she woudl know enough French that if some one was saying thing sin French that was not nice she would understand.

 

I know my cousin knows a little Spanish from high school, not much. Once in the grocery line, Latin decent people were making nasty cracks about her, she did not understand everything they said, but enough that they were taking about her big butt. She turned around and spoke to them in Spanish to let them know she understood what they said. they became very embarrasseda nd she said that stopped the ocnversation.

[GloBug]

Ha ha. I used to work for a bank that employed a lot of Filipino people. My boss, who was gay, was in the elevator with 2 young Filipino women, who he could tell were talking about him, and laughing at him. He only knew how to say I KNOW YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT ME in their language, and he said when he turned and said that to them, they shut up, turned red, and got off at the next floor! LOL!

[Ashtony]

On A HAL cruise. (I didn't see it, my sister did) A man and a woman got into an arguement and he decked her. Yep right there at the pool. He punched her dead in the face. She fell back and over a lounge chair. Several passengers ran to her aide. When the woman got up my sister said she thought she broke her arm. Not to mention a big black eye. Anyway the next day (a sea day) there was luggage packed up and sitting outside the door of one of the cabins on our deck. We thought HAL maybe had put him in the brig.

 

My sister said it took about ten minutes for security to come. She and several other passengers called several times. They were afraid the man would get away. My sister had to fill out a paper telling what she saw, but she never heard anything after that and we never saw the man or woman again!

 

Now thats one for the record books. Thats just horrible.

[tidenik]

Not 10 minutes after shoving off from the dock in Seattle on a Princess cruise to Alaska a few years ago I heard a loud commotion. As I drew nearer I saw a woman screeming at the top of her lungs at a member of the crew (a security officer with a radio). She was going on and on complaining about how she was allergic to something on the ship (or the ship itself) demanding that she be put ashore immediately. The officer while radioing for reinforcements was handling her tantrum in an admirable way in a great British accent with an extra measure of patience.. She contiuned to go ballistic insisting in high decible expletives that she must leave the ship and now ordering the officer to take her to the captain. A moment later, as two more members of the crew appeared, she was escorted to an elevator no doubt to be deposited in the brig or rubber room.

Later that evening a boat met the Diamond Princess off Port Angeles and she was taken ashore.

[GWTWLady]

Not 10 minutes after shoving off from the dock in Seattle on a Princess cruise to Alaska a few years ago I heard a loud commotion. As I drew nearer I saw a woman screeming at the top of her lungs at a member of the crew (a security officer with a radio). She was going on and on complaining about how she was allergic to something on the ship (or the ship itself) demanding that she be put ashore immediately. The officer while radioing for reinforcements was handling her tantrum in an admirable way in a great British accent with an extra measure of patience.. She contiuned to go ballistic insisting in high decible expletives that she must leave the ship and now ordering the officer to take her to the captain. A moment later, as two more members of the crew appeared, she was escorted to an elevator no doubt to be deposited in the brig or rubber room.

Later that evening a boat met the Diamond Princess off Port Angeles and she was taken ashore.

 

 

If someone were that sensitive and hyper-allergic, don't you think they would know it before planning a trip? sounds like her allergy may have been a traveling companion -- hope she had trip insurance...

[Katie100]

A gentleman (I use the term loosely) from England decided he was too hot. It was formal night so he stripped from the waist down and ate half naked. No one said a word.

[cardzz & cruzin]

On the Valor this past March, on the first night out the seas were what I would say a little rough, at times you needed to hold on to something to avoid falling. Anyway we were in the casino till about 2 in the morning and as we were walking back we noticed a group of people at the pursers desk all wearing their life jackets and carrying suitcases.

 

Well we had to go see, and it turns out it was a group of french tourists and because of the high seas thought the ship was going down just like "Titanic" and were ready to get on the life boats but no one was there to let them on.

[grod19]

On my last cruise my friends and I were in Antigua (I think) and we did a pirate "booze cruise". Well on the boat we made friends with the bartender. He was was of the darkest skinned people I have ever met. Spoke with your typical island accent. We also met these two women in their early 20's who were on vacation with their parents. We started talking and the one girl asked me how I knew the bartender. Being part drunk I decided to make up a story. I told her he was my cousin. I am very pale so to a normal person this would have atleast raised an eyebrow. I came up with this elaborate story about he is so dark skinned because he lived on the west side of the island so from noon on when he was outside working he was in the sun, and I was from the east side of the island and I was a late sleeper so by the time I woke up the sun was already on the other side of the island so I never got a tan and that is why I am so light skinned. She bought every word of it.

 

The bartender played along the entire time and by the end of the pirate cruise we were talking about how my mother expects to see him for thanksgiving this year and she will be very annoyed if he doesn't show up again.

 

As I was getting back to the boat the girl told me "she was happy I was able to come see my cousin after all that time". I completely lost it and was laughing in tears as I got back on the ship.

[tgptmp]

On the Valor this past March, on the first night out the seas were what I would say a little rough, at times you needed to hold on to something to avoid falling. Anyway we were in the casino till about 2 in the morning and as we were walking back we noticed a group of people at the pursers desk all wearing their life jackets and carrying suitcases.

 

Well we had to go see, and it turns out it was a group of french tourists and because of the high seas thought the ship was going down just like "Titanic" and were ready to get on the life boats but no one was there to let them on.

 

I would have just had to stay around a while to watch and listen. You should have walked up to them and ask if anyone was interested in buying life insurance (ok that was mean).

[dragonswordkata]

That was a wonderful story!!! I needed a laugh and boy you gave me a good one :D thank you.

[collegecruiser346]

I was on the Mariner of the Seas last August and one of the ports of call was St. Thomas. I had gone sightseeing during the morning, and had a few hours to sit at a beach and relax. I decided to go for a walk down on of the paths near the beach, and I saw a couple doing "it", right off the path. Being quite open minded, I really did not think much of it, and just continued on my way. Well, later that night once back on board the ship, I went to the newlywed game, and low and behold, that same couple were chosen to be on the game show. If anyone has ever seen the show, you are all aware that they ask several questions about the contestants personal lives. Well, one of the questions they got asked was "Where is the strangest place you've ever had sex?" THEY TOLD THE TRUTH! They said that they had just had sex that afternoon on the beach! I couldn't believe it. It was so funny. Then afterward whenever anyone would see that couple around the ship, they cheered.

[MsVaBch]

Anyone who has ever dieted will appreciate this one.

 

I had gained weight but still thought I could fit into a beautiful beaded dress I had worn on my last cruise. I took it along without retrying it on-come on, it was only 10 pounds “or so” I had gained! Anyway, my D’s who were in another room, came in to make sure which dress I was wearing , as we had somewhat tried to color coordinate our outfits for the picture that night.

I was in the bathroom dressing , and had trouble with the zipper. I told my husband to go get in line for the pictures awhile with my two daughters and I’d be right there. (I was embarrassed that I couldn’t get it zipped, but felt sure I could).

So the family leaves and after taking off my underslip to make more room, I finally get the thing zipped. I lean over to gather my purse and hear the dreaded “sound”. Well, I look in the mirror and see that although the stitching has come undone a little, it’s not the actual zipper, and with my hair, you can’t see the place…all is still well.

I can’t find my room key and figure that the hubby took both, so out I go, shutting the door behind me. As I walk down the hall, I hear it again, “the sound”. But now I begin to feel the cool breeze on my back. I reach back an feel that yes, the zipper has now begun to go, and yes, the dress is ripping-but its still a relatively small tear. I decide to proceed and just have the picture taken and have my family stand behind me in the picture line. As I reach the stairs, I take one step and the loudest sound of all, as the hip seam rips. OK so I had no business wearing this thing.

At that very moment I got the giggles, and realized how ridiculous I was being by trying to wear this dress. I started laughing and rested my back against the railing. A couple passed me and smiled, wondering why I was standing there grinning from ear to ear and being “very friendly” to them. I was just trying not to crack up laughing. I continued to stand there in my beautiful dress (which is now backless and minus a hip seam). I knew I didn’t have my room key so I just stood there laughing and not moving! An older gentleman passes and starts up the stairs and turns to ask if I am OK. He thinks I am crying because I am laughing so hard that I AM crying. I literally wave himoff, not daring to move, and as he is leaving he says, “Well, you look absolutely gorgeous.” This sends me into more fits of laughing hysteria. He leaves and I look down, to see beads all over the floor where I have been standing. At this point, I am laughing so hard that I begin to wet myself. I turn and run down the hall back to my room dress ripping with almost every step, only to stand outside with no key. After only a minute or so, a cabin steward (not mine) came by. He didn't want to let me in, but i kept my butt against the wall and turned my upper back and he says, OH OH OH, and let me in. I slithered along the wall dying laughing, and I'm sure he too thought I was crying. I changed EVERYTHING. As I was almost ready for the second time, my husband and daughters came back to checkon me. I opened the door non chalantly and said, “the white dress didn’t fit so well”. Nobody in my family knows to this day what really happened. Maybe I should let the read this. Nah. :rolleyes:

 

THIS is the funniest thing that I think I have EVER read! EVER! (I could SOOOO picture this happening to me!) If/when it does, I hope I am able to take it with a grain of salt just as you did! AWESOME story!!Thanks for sharing! :)

[marshhawk]

Our first night on the Sensation, Sweetums and I decided to check out the karaoke. Some of the singers were wonderful, but the better they were, the more one very drunk person wanted to dance around the singers. She was weaving in and out, bobbing and wobbling, and getting in the face of the singers. A few pushed her away, and she would step back and start doing a suedo strip tease.

She was wearing sandals, the type with the strap that ties around your ankle, and she eventually took these off. But when she attempted to put them on later, she couldn't figure out how to tie them and her feet kept going sideways out of her shoes. Eventually her feet were on the floor, but the shoes were attached to the sides of her feet. Her ? date? a dignified looking older man did attempt to place her feet back in the shoes, but she had a "WANNA DO IT MYSELF" Attitude and they left with those shoes tied to her ankles, but dragging behind her feet. I have to admit that I thought her date ? had a great deal of patience , but sweetems thought that her date? had paid for a companion for the weekend, and got what he paid for.

[divinitylives]

I have a couple of things to offer,our first cruise on Royal Caribbean there was a couple that drank non-stop,they wore the exact same thing the entire seven days of the cruise,no matter if it was drinking by the pool,eating at the buffet,shore excursion,etc. She was a bit on the overweight size and wore a cowboy hat and a white bikini,he wore a white muscle shirt(muscles not included) with a pair of Corona Extra swim trunk. My husband said he never in his life wished he was blind until he saw this woman in her bikini and to this date my now 16 year old daughter see's anything advertising Corona Extra and wants to scream. Another Royal Caribbean cruise we saw a group of people together (another seven day cruise)the night before we returned to our home port when we went done to the Pursers Desk to settle our tab and get our tip envelopes,a guy that was part of the group was in front of us and he was there to question them about his bill,come to find out he was drunk and buying drinks for everyone on deck,another occasion everyone in the formal dining room,etc. when he received his bill he sobered up really quick,his American Express bill was charged almost $10,000, I am not making this up. He stated he was drunk non-stop from the time he got on the ship and shouldn't have to pay because he was clearly to intoxicated to know what he was doing saying that the cruise line should be responsible for allowing him to charge up that much of a bill. Needless to say he was responsible and payed the ridiculous bar tab he ran up. I'm sure he probably tried to dispute it with his credit card company when he got back home.

 

I think we were on this same cruise! We witnessed the guy buying everyone at the pool round after round....then saw him crying on the last day when the time to pay up came around! All the while my DH and I pouring vodka into our fruit punches trying to save as much $ as possible!

[bkecky]

One of the most memorable characters I have ever encountered on a cruise was a widowed woman, let's call her "Carole". One night my grandmother and I went to the midnight buffet and when we returned my grandfather had this woman sitting next to him. We all thought she was rather eccentric but it was only when I went down to the spa for a treatment that we realised how strange she really was! The therapist instantly recognised my name and said oh I know this name. Is your grandfather Mr ____. I replied yes and she said well there was a woman who came in a few days ago who was saying that Mr _____ had said he was going to run away with her in Monte Carlo but she wasn't sure what to do because there was a 22 year old officer who she thought she was in with!!! "Carole"? I asked. It was. I immediately went back to the cabin and retold what I had heard and we all had a good laugh (except my grandma who was sincerely worried how many people she had told about Mr____). We found as the cruise went on the gentlemen and crew on the ship would separate when they saw her coming! She was a nightmare! She also said she had bought over 200 outfits on board and the steward had to help her choose one each night...Needless to say we didn't need to question my grandfathers sincerity on that one!

 

On this particular cruise I also came across a gentleman who I presumed was alone as he was quite elderly and always alone at the end of the bar. Me being me I talk to anyone and I often went over for a chat after dinner thinking he might be a bit lonely and looking for company. One night I met his wife but she always went to bed early. The last night comes and he says to me, you know you are a lovely girl and very beautiful so how much? My jaw nearly dropped to the floor! I said I'm sorry but that was not my intention and secondly your wife is on board. Oh no, he says, I do it all the time at home!

 

Same cruise I got friendly with a girl a little older than me with a husband much older than her. One day her husband goes off to take the photos to the cabin and she starts telling me what an athlete her husband is in bed. I didn't quite know what to say and some sort of nervous laughter escaped (this man was 87, he could barely walk!). Husband then returns and she says oh, we were talking about naughty things darling. Ah he said so you told her then. Told me what? I ask. We are swingers we were wondering if you had a boyfriend on board. No i curtly reply, not my thing. Well you can come alone, he says! I scuttled away and we never spoke again that cruise. But by god! In one cruise I had been mistaken for a "lady of the night" and a swinger and my grandpa as some sort of gigolo! It was quite disturbing at the time but now we have a laugh about that cruise. I'm just glad it all happened near the end!

 

As my family always say, i could be in a room with 200 people and there would be one strange one and they would find me. think i'll be a little more selective with who i talk to in future!

[tgptmp]

One of the most memorable characters I have ever encountered on a cruise was a widowed woman, let's call her "Carole". One night my grandmother and I went to the midnight buffet and when we returned my grandfather had this woman sitting next to him. We all thought she was rather eccentric but it was only when I went down to the spa for a treatment that we realised how strange she really was! The therapist instantly recognised my name and said oh I know this name. Is your grandfather Mr ____. I replied yes and she said well there was a woman who came in a few days ago who was saying that Mr _____ had said he was going to run away with her in Monte Carlo but she wasn't sure what to do because there was a 22 year old officer who she thought she was in with!!! "Carole"? I asked. It was. I immediately went back to the cabin and retold what I had heard and we all had a good laugh (except my grandma who was sincerely worried how many people she had told about Mr____). We found as the cruise went on the gentlemen and crew on the ship would separate when they saw her coming! She was a nightmare! She also said she had bought over 200 outfits on board and the steward had to help her choose one each night...Needless to say we didn't need to question my grandfathers sincerity on that one!

 

On this particular cruise I also came across a gentleman who I presumed was alone as he was quite elderly and always alone at the end of the bar. Me being me I talk to anyone and I often went over for a chat after dinner thinking he might be a bit lonely and looking for company. One night I met his wife but she always went to bed early. The last night comes and he says to me, you know you are a lovely girl and very beautiful so how much? My jaw nearly dropped to the floor! I said I'm sorry but that was not my intention and secondly your wife is on board. Oh no, he says, I do it all the time at home!

 

Same cruise I got friendly with a girl a little older than me with a husband much older than her. One day her husband goes off to take the photos to the cabin and she starts telling me what an athlete her husband is in bed. I didn't quite know what to say and some sort of nervous laughter escaped (this man was 87, he could barely walk!). Husband then returns and she says oh, we were talking about naughty things darling. Ah he said so you told her then. Told me what? I ask. We are swingers we were wondering if you had a boyfriend on board. No i curtly reply, not my thing. Well you can come alone, he says! I scuttled away and we never spoke again that cruise. But by god! In one cruise I had been mistaken for a "lady of the night" and a swinger and my grandpa as some sort of gigolo! It was quite disturbing at the time but now we have a laugh about that cruise. I'm just glad it all happened near the end!

 

As my family always say, i could be in a room with 200 people and there would be one strange one and they would find me. think i'll be a little more selective with who i talk to in future!

 

The joys of cruising!!! LOL

[bmartin71]

On our first cruise in 2008, we met a business acquaintance of DH on the ship, we talked for a little while and then after rarely crossed path with him, as our activities and diner hour were not the same.

 

As most of you know, the last night of a Costa cruise is usually "Toga Night"

 

We decided not too participate, the sheets that were provided were to skimpy and see through. As we are preparing for the evening DH says he`ll go and pick up a couple of drinks from the bar...Who does he end up standing next to ??? Business Acquaintance all dressed as Julius Cesar...seeing how embarrassed the guy was:o all DH could utter was : "Nice toga" ! He was laughing so hard when he got back it took him 30 minutes be able to tell me the story.

 

Whenever he sees Business Acquaintance, on business, he has composure trouble.:D

[sgermic]

I ran into my ninth grade English teacher on the Rhapsody. This would've been a pleasant and harmless encounter, if she weren't extremely frightening, intimidating, and rude!

 

She cornered me in the bathroom outside the Schooner Bar to ask why I had given her a bad teacher evaluation. When I said that I thought that they were confidential and anonymous, she replied, "Give me a break! I can recognize your clausal syntax anywhere!"

 

She was awful. But not as awful as my parents were about her to the School Board the next Fall.....

[TJRiver]

During formal night dinner aboard the Celebrity Zenith last fall a gay couple were celebrating their 25th anniversary. "He" wore a gold paper crown that he brought along from Burger King. "She" also wore a gold paper crown and a purple cape with a fuzzy collar and train. These two guys proudly wore this getup during the entire dinner and around the ship throughout the evening!

 

 

Would this have been any sort of big deal if the couple was not gay?.....

 

Actually, it is pretty funny no matter who it was.

[windsmith]

DrKoob- I feel sorry for you that this is such a hassle for you, but I too am subscribed and I know exactly how it works. It doesn't bother me one bit. Sometimes people who post a "bit" like this one appreciate knowing that other people appreciated the hilarity of the situation. If it's so much work for you, maybe it's best if you only subscribe to the threads that are of the utmost importance to you. I'm not sorry and I will continue to post small phrases to let others know I appreciate their input or help or (in this case) funnies.

 

Good luck to you in your quest.

 

Or do like I do and set the email frequency to 'daily' for your subscribed threads :)

[bobsfamily]

I ran into my ninth grade English teacher on the Rhapsody. This would've been a pleasant and harmless encounter, if she weren't extremely frightening, intimidating, and rude!

 

She cornered me in the bathroom outside the Schooner Bar to ask why I had given her a bad teacher evaluation. When I said that I thought that they were confidential and anonymous, she replied, "Give me a break! I can recognize your clausal syntax anywhere!"

 

She was awful. But not as awful as my parents were about her to the School Board the next Fall.....

GOOD FOR them!

[martinchem]

I remember this guy rubbing suntan lotion on this girl...until her "girl friend" came back, boy all hell broke lose!

[veronicalee]

okay, the craziest thing I have seen.....We were on the Triumph in April and there was a man (Middle Eastern descent) dressed as Elvis. He wore different Elivis costumes all week even in port! He had the sunglasses, sideburns, chains, the whole get up. I never saw him without an Elvis outfit on even on dress up night. I guess it takes all kinds. He certainly got a lot of attention and plenty of picture taken. So, Elvis is alive and apparently cruising the world. LOL

 

 

That is hillarius! I know him! He was on a cruise with us about 6 years ago. He is actually Italian. He ALWAYS dresses like Elvis. I am a Realtor and he works with an agent in my office. Her last name is Presley!!!! Thats why he chose her!

[OBX-Cruisers]

After many years of trying to get me to go on a cruise, my wife was finally successful when we retired and found that we would be spending the December holiday period alone in Kitty Hawk, NC where we just moved and knew few people. I found a great price on an 11 day cruise on the Maasdam from Norfolk (its last roundtrip from that port as we found out).

 

Being our first cruise I was always up early, wandered the ship like an awestruck new traveler (which I was) and attended all of the events. On this late afternoon day we were leaving Puerto Rico in the evening and I wanted to get some departing pictures of Fort El Morro as we were leaving. As I stood at the stern I heard a lot of shouting and cheering from the pool deck above and remembered that there were going to be pool games shortly after we departed.

 

Going up a deck or two I saw that the games had reached the finale stage and they were having a team "Best Belly Flop Contest". Again, as my first cruise experience with this I was quite entertained as the audience judged the contestants by holding up from 0 to 10 fingers. One very petite young lady, from whom we expected little, jumped in and made a tremendous splash and received a "10". Finally, a much larger young lady, from whom the audience expected a lot, jumped in a created a feeble splash that received a score of "4"....................however............upon leaving the pool, the top of her two piece bathing suit separated from one of her upper parts (noted as fruits by some on this thread but referred to as "puppies" by our much wiser and more experienced dining partners) left their enclosure. WELL, no one noticed! Except me standing there with my camera and wondering if I was seeing what I was seeing.

 

About then the young woman noticed that something had become unbalanced on her chest wardrobe and tried to adjust the situation which promptly led to the other puppy leaving its enclosure with both now in clear view to all.................who then began noticing what I had seen, camera all the time at the ready. The audience who was very dedicated to accuracy in scoring Promptly reversed their initial score and awarded a "10".

 

Well you may have guessed why there is no picture to back up this story.........but I did get some nice pictures of fort El Morro if you care to see them.

 

This was my first cruise in December of 2006 and we are now booked on the Maasdam in October; out 8th cruise! I know a good cruise ship when I see it and am expecting a replay.

 

Ron

Edited August 27, 2009 by skiron
Corrections

[GloBug]

I just came off a cruise on the Sea Princess with 53 Ducks from another cruise website. Two of the Ducks had fart machines. Remote controlled fart machines. They would stick it in their back pocket, and let it rip on a crowded elevator, in the buffet, in a cocktail bar. The ship staff caught on real quick, the rest of the cruisers knew the ducks were a bit mischievous, and the elevator rips were crazily funny, since we had to keep a straight face until everyone else rushed off. OMG, none of us are young people any more, we are all responsible administrators, bosses, first responders in times of emergency, but for 10 days we were all crazy Ducks! QUACK!