Dining Room Etiquette/Manners and Situations ?

[Alex71]

We have learned to request a table change early in the cruise if the other people want to talk about politics, religion and/or illness.

 

Completely agree with religion and illness being unsuitable topics. Wouldn't mind an interesting discussion about political topics as long as it stays civilized and respectul.

[Texas Tillie]

Completely agree with religion and illness being unsuitable topics. Wouldn't mind an interesting discussion about political topics as long as it stays civilized and respectul.

 

See that you're in Europe, politics has become so polarized in the US that it would be impossible to have a "civilized and respectful" discussion unless everyone at the table is on the exact same page. :eek:

[spookwife]

Completely agree with religion and illness being unsuitable topics. Wouldn't mind an interesting discussion about political topics as long as it stays civilized and respectul.

 

obviously you have never been to/in the US during an election year.... :rolleyes:

 

'civilized and respectful' is an oxymoron.....:eek:

[MrPete]

 

4: not gonna happen you will be seated at an 8 top table. booths generally only hold 4 people and they are too close together to actually make it safe to put someone on the end anyway.

 

There are many booths for 6 on the Fantasy class ships (not that this makes a lot of sense after being moved off the Carnvail board).

[navybankerteacher]

15 minutes is plenty of time to wait for late comers. If particular table-mates are regularly late, 5 minutes should suffice after the first couple of times. Sharing wine: why not share your main course? Even offering to share could be awkward if others had health or moral/ethical concerns. Of course, later in the cruise, it can make sense for two couples to share a bottle - after they have gotten to know each other.

[hockeyluver]

Completely agree with religion and illness being unsuitable topics. Wouldn't mind an interesting discussion about political topics as long as it stays civilized and respectul.

 

oh but it was so interesting the cruise we were seated at a booth for 4 with a Jehovah witness couple lol actually after the initial awkwardness dinner was fine, learned alot of new things. We are catholic so said our prayer while they said theres :D

[sail7seas]

delete

sorry

[Cruisin' Chick]

I was curious about proper dining room etiquette regarding a few things....or just plain manners or lack of.

 

How long do you wait for your tablemates to arrive before you go ahead and order?

 

When we are in a traditional dining room (which is our choice), the main doors are usually closed about 15 to 20 minutes after the sitting start time. I think that usually gives a subtle message to habitual latecomers. Generally waitstaff seem to understand to start taking orders after a certain point if there's missing people.

 

If we are kept waiting, and the waitstaff hasn't taken our orders, we would probably signal them over and ask if we could get things going as we have after dinner plans (like a show).

 

Do you leave before the others are finished eating?

 

Usually if we do have a show we want to catch, we'll say something at the start of the meal. Often, others will have the same plans. That gets everyone set on not dawdling. If they don't seem to be in a hurry, and we notice it's getting to the time we wanted to leave, we'll just excuse ourselves. In the past, we often had to leave to get to the kids' area to pick up our girl, so we're used to making a quick explanation and keeping an eye on the time. If someone has a problem with that, that's inconsideration as far as I'm concerned. And we don't take it personally if some others want to leave early.

 

Is it okay to leave while they are having dessert?

 

Same as above. Many of the dessert items (at least on Princess, except for the many special flavors of ice cream) are also available in the buffet so I would imagine if you want to catch the first show, you head for the buffet for coffee and dessert afterwards if you want.

 

If you are a family of 4, and the other party is a family of 3, and you are seated at a booth with a chair, where do you sit? Who should sit in the chair?

 

Have never seen a booth in the MDRs on any of my cruises. Many the designers realize that booths are really more for a party of people who know each other as it's a more intimate way of seating at a table.

Does one family all sit on one side of the table?

 

We often will sit together, whether it's the two of us or if our girl comes to the MDR with us. But we might sit down in different seats from night to night.

 

If you order wine, must you share it with everyone at the table? Is it considered rude not to?

 

We usually don't order wine as I'm not much of a drinker. My hubby often brings a box o'wine on board and might pour himself some wine to take with him to dinner or wait until we return to our cabin. We certainly wouldn't try to make it awkward for others if they order drinks/wine, and would usually turn down any offers, unless they say it's a special occasion. I still remember the time when our tablemates got a bottle and offered us some wine. I patted my stomach and said I had to pass, thanks. They were amazed as they didn't realize I was pregnant (I wasn't showing at 4-1/2 months if I was wearing the right clothes :D).

 

I'm just curious on your thoughts on some of the above situations. Feel free to add some tips and suggestions for any situations such as the above.

 

well the first time, they were VERY offended and got all huffy "We are MORMONS" like we just insulted their sainted grandmothers or something. third was actually a bottle we brought on board( Carnival) to celebrate an anniversary. Oh and this os the same couple that only showed up( late) on Formal night and never to;ld the dining staff they would not be using the MDR the rest of the time, hence us having to wait that first night.

 

the second time, the gentleman politely said he did not drink( his wife accepted a glass.. and 2 nights later when she bought a bottle she shared with us) this was a package on Royal and all we were celebrating was ..well.. being on a cruise heheheh

 

On the disney cruise we had a very large table( there were 8 of us) and we opted to not share simply because if every one had accepted, we would have not had enough to go around. and like you, if I am buying a bottle, I want the lion's share/

 

Manners is often about not making other people feel awkward, and the couple mentioned in the first paragraph could have just demurely turned down the drink. There isn't any need to explain a reason to turn it down (even though I did so in a cute way when preggers, maybe someone else belongs to the Friends of Bill, is on medication where alcohol use is counterindicated, or just doesn't drink ever). Manners would indicate you don't have to offer wine to people you just met -- it's not like they're your guests in your house or it's a business meeting, but if you do offer, and are turned down, don't keep urging.

 

Now, if somebody insisted that we all say a pre-dinner prayer, I would have a problem with that as to me, that's something private, and would push things into the "awkward" category for us.

[MrsPete]

I'm going to disagree with the 15-minute thing. If you're doing traditional dining, you should arrive on time -- or not at all. Traditional dining is "timed" so that everyone in the dining room is having appetizers at the same time, entees at the same time, etc. If you arrive late -- even 15 minutes -- you throw off your waiter. You, the customer, however, don't have to make this call; your waiter will cue you as to when to begin.

 

This is most important if you're doing early seating /traditional service. The waiter has to get you in . . . and get you out on time . . . and set up the table for the next seating. If you show up 15 minutes late, he doesn't have time to "turn around" the table for the next seating. It's polite not to put him (or her) in that uncomfortable position.

 

Related topic: Since the MDR isn't the only game in town for dinner, it is polite to mention to your tablemates, "Tomorrow night we're planning to have dinner at Chops, so we won't be seeing you for dinner." Or, "We're so looking forward to our island stop tomorrow, and we're expecting to be exhausted after our big excursion, so we're thinking of having a quiet room service dinner. Please don't be concerned or wait for us." In a large table, it's common for everyone not to show up for dinner every night, and it's just polite to give the others a clue so they won't worry about whether it's polite to order or wait.

 

Personally, we much prefer the newer choose-your-time-dining options so that we aren't slaves to the clock. It's set up differently so that 15 minutes doesn't mean what it does in traditional dining. Other people disagree because it means you aren't eating with the same people every night, and you might miss the evening shows.

 

If you don't want to eat dessert (or after-dinner drinks), it is okay to excuse yourself early. Dinner is a rather lengthy activity, and you won't be alone. If you want your dessert for later, it's also okay to ask for it "to go"; in that case, you'd wait 'til everyone else's dessert is served, and yours would arrive covered with a silver dome (like room service).

 

People who have small children sometimes let them come to the MDR, but they get their food at a faster pace . . . then one parent leaves briefly and runs them to the kids' club. This allows the kids to have a taste of fine dining (not a bad thing to teach them manners young), but it gets them out of there before their attention span runs out.

 

Sharing wine isn't required, though navigating this particular item with a large group can feel awkward. The waiter will never ask whether you're sharing -- if the offer to share comes, it'd come from you, the purchaser. If you want to decline, you don't have to make a big deal of it. A simple "Oh, thank you, but we don't drink. Please, you enjoy it." is enough. Or, if that isn't the truth, "Thanks so much, but maybe another time." I'd say the only hard-and-fast rule is that if you accept a drink from someone else, it would be polite to reciprocate later in the week. If you're very concerned about this, you could stick to mixed drinks. In my experience, most adults do have some sort of alcoholic beverage with dinner (though I often don't, and I've never been made to feel awkward about it).

 

I can think of a couple other things that a new cruiser might not know:

 

If you get a table for two, it's going to be about 6" from another table for two -- yet you're expected to behave as if you're far apart. It's a bit silly.

 

People frequently ask about whether it's okay to order two appetizers, two entrees, etc. (The answer, by the way, is yes -- they will serve you whatever you request.) However, I'm a small person and cannot eat everything they bring out. It is okay to skip a course. I always skip the bread and don't always finish my other courses; I prefer this to feeling over-stuffed and uncomfortable later.

 

At first glance, you may think that the cruise ship meals are too small. The reality is that we Americans are used to being served over-sized meals at restaurants (enough for at least two people). Keep in mind that, unlike a restaurant, you're not going to take a doggie bag for your tomorrow's lunch. Also, at home we don't eat out a big breakfast . . . then have an appetizer /entree /desssert for lunch . . . then repeat that, along with mixed drinks, for dinner. Quickly you'll realize that the smaller portions are plenty.

 

If you're a person with a simple palate, it is okay to order from the kids' menu. They always have something along the lines of a plate of plain spaghetti. There's also a portion of the menu called something like "Simple Tastes" that always offers a basic steak and a roast chicken option.

[circuitrider]

If you're a person with a simple palate, it is okay to order from the kids' menu. They always have something along the lines of a plate of plain spaghetti. There's also a portion of the menu called something like "Simple Tastes" that always offers a basic steak and a roast chicken option.

 

I always check out the kids' menu (for now, I don't look odd doing it, as we have two young kids) as often their choices are better than what the adults get. Mmm, maybe get a chocolate lava cake from the adult menu, and the ice cream sundae from the kids' menu.

[LandlockedCruiser01]

I was curious about proper dining room etiquette regarding a few things....or just plain manners or lack of.

1. How long do you wait for your tablemates to arrive before you go ahead and order?

2. Do you leave before the others are finished eating?

3. Is it okay to leave while they are having dessert?

4. If you are a family of 4, and the other party is a family of 3, and you are seated at a booth with a chair, where do you sit? Who should sit in the chair?

5. Does one family all sit on one side of the table?

6. If you order wine, must you share it with everyone at the table? Is it considered rude not to?

I'm just curious on your thoughts on some of the above situations. Feel free to add some tips and suggestions for any situations such as the above.

 

1. There's no strict rule on that. My tablemates usually arrived more-or-less on time, so it wasn't an issue. We waited for late-comers for about 15 minutes, assuming that whoever haven't shown up by then probably won't make it.

2. Yes, that's perfectly acceptable, as long as you wish everyone a nice night and not just stand up and leave. I've done that. It might be courteous to quickly mention at the beginning of dinner that you'll be leaving early.

3. Same as #2.

4. No clue; my table didn't have any children.

5. See #4.

6. It's a gesture of friendliness and generosity, but not required nowadays. You paid for the wine, so it's your prerogative to decide what to do with it, and people will understand. Still, I had people at my table share their bottle of wine with everybody, and I truly appreciated the gesture.

 

I'll also add something.

7. If you won't be coming to dinner one night (due to late port stay, eating in the steakhouse, etc), it's courteous to somehow let your table know, so they won't be waiting for you (this touches on #1). You can call the maitre d' so he/she can deliver the message to your table or simply mention it to one of your tablemates in person when see them around the ship. If you can't, no big deal, but it's a gesture of courtesy of not making people wait.

8. This shouldn't even need to be said, but remember to thank your waitstaff and your tablemates as you've leaving the table.

[calliopecruiser]

well the first time, they were VERY offended and got all huffy "We are MORMONS" like we just insulted their sainted grandmothers or something.

 

LOL.....were they wearing signs, or did they think that it shone from their ears or something?

 

I agree with the poster who said not to overthink things and just enjoy your dinner and (hopefully) your tablemates. I enjoy spirited conversations over dinner, even about politics or religion, as long as one person doesn't monopolize the conversation and there are a range of topics discussed.

[calliopecruiser]

8. This shouldn't even need to be said, but remember to thank your waitstaff and your tablemates as you've leaving the table.

 

Waitstaff: yes, but tablemates? No. "Thank you for sharing a table with me"? Uh, uh. Perhaps "Have a good evening", "I hope we'll see you again", or "It was nice to meet you".

 

Unless of course you or your spouse is boorish, in which case you could say "Thanks for putting up with me/him/her." Pleasant social interactions are reciprocated and don't need a "thank you", in my opinion.

[kitty9]

What ship has booths in the MDR? What a stupid idea to have that and expect strangers to sit together like that. It makes absolutely no sense. I mean, what if one needs to excuse themselves to go to the bathroom? You have to trouble the other people to stand up and move so you can get out of the booth. Really silly.

 

We wait 10 to 15 minutes. If we don't have dessert, which we rarely do, we just politely excuse ourselves. We don't share wine with the table as it's difficult to know the tastes of the tablemates and I'm sure not going to waste a good bottle of wine on someone who won't like it.

[marco]

As far as ordering, you kind of take your cue from your wait staff. They usually will wait a bit in anticipation of tablemates arrival, when they start to take orders, order. I 've have never seen someone say to staff, "we want to order now". As far as leaving early, the best excuse is "we want to get good seats at the show", as far as sharing wine, NEVER feel obligated to offer to fellow tablemates. If you know you will not be dining at your table on a specific evening, it is most appropriate and considerate to tell staff the evening prior that you will be at dinner tomorrow evening.

[Almost Packed]

All of my questions come from specific instances where this happened.

 

We were on the Elation with the booth and i hated it. The other family of 4 would seat themselves on either side of the booth, and put their kids in the middle for me to sit next to. my dh & i would sit on opposite sides and there was a chair pulled up to the end of the table where we put our ds-7. that way we had more room. I personally thought it rude that the largest group didn't take the chair, as my family could all sit together in one booth. but it didn't work out that way. same family would also get up after eating their meal and rush out for one activity or another. we would still be eating our meal. they were nice and all....i just thought it might be a bit odd and rude.

 

on another cruise, (my very first) a couple shared their wine with the table. they did not insist on it, but i didn't want to turn them down and hurt their feelings. however, i was not planning on buying a bottle to share the following night.

 

just wanted to say thanks everyone for your input on this matter. I feel like i have a little more insight on the subject now i have a few guidelines to go by.

[Hlitner]

Just remember it is your vacation and you usually have control. If you are not pleased with your tablemates or hate your table location, waiters, dining time, etc...you should quickly deal with the issue rather then continue in a situation that is not pleasing. Do not hesitate to go to the maitre d/dining room staff after your first dinner and ask for changes.

 

Hank

[diverjen]

Ok, complete newbie here, with a related question. We are on princess in February with the late seating for traditional dining. So once you choose your seats the first night, are you expected to sit in the same seats for the rest of the week? Is it rude not too?

[LuckyZ]

All of my questions come from specific instances where this happened.

 

We were on the Elation with the booth and i hated it. The other family of 4 would seat themselves on either side of the booth, and put their kids in the middle for me to sit next to. my dh & i would sit on opposite sides and there was a chair pulled up to the end of the table where we put our ds-7. that way we had more room. I personally thought it rude that the largest group didn't take the chair, as my family could all sit together in one booth. but it didn't work out that way. same family would also get up after eating their meal and rush out for one activity or another. we would still be eating our meal. they were nice and all....i just thought it might be a bit odd and rude.

 

on another cruise, (my very first) a couple shared their wine with the table. they did not insist on it, but i didn't want to turn them down and hurt their feelings. however, i was not planning on buying a bottle to share the following night.

 

just wanted to say thanks everyone for your input on this matter. I feel like i have a little more insight on the subject now i have a few guidelines to go by.

 

I agree that the other families actions were very rude to say the least.

 

But sometimes you can't change people. Did you consider going to dinner early one evening to get to the front of the line so you could get your preferred seat location at your table? Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire

[Dayenu]

I was curious about proper dining room etiquette regarding a few things....or just plain manners or lack of.

 

How long do you wait for your tablemates to arrive before you go ahead and order? I think it's up to the waiter, no? So he wouldn't have to place his orders twice in the kitchen.

 

Do you leave before the others are finished eating? Don't think so... unless there is a good excuse.

 

Is it okay to leave while they are having dessert? No. Order tea or something.

 

If you are a family of 4, and the other party is a family of 3, and you are seated at a booth with a chair, where do you sit? Who should sit in the chair? Never been in a booth, but I'd think the right thing to do is to rotate seats.

 

Does one family all sit on one side of the table? Depends on the age, and if any of them need help (elderly or babies)

 

If you order wine, must you share it with everyone at the table? Is it considered rude not to? With the prices they have it's not rude not to share :( Just make it clear to the waiter when ordering, or there will be a situation when you didn't mean to share, but he'll pour in all wine glasses.

 

I'm just curious on your thoughts on some of the above situations. Feel free to add some tips and suggestions for any situations such as the above.

 

What if you are at the table with a non-drinker? Do not insist on them partaking, and they don't owe you any explanations.

[1025cruise]

Ok, complete newbie here, with a related question. We are on princess in February with the late seating for traditional dining. So once you choose your seats the first night, are you expected to sit in the same seats for the rest of the week? Is it rude not too?

 

You don't pick your table, you are assigned it upon embarkation. Usually people stay in the same seats. If you don't think you will get along with your tablemates, you can speak to the Maitre'D about being reseated.

[moniquet]

We never dine with strangers anymore. We did for years and many cruises but after a few bad experiences we now avoid it.

 

 

 

It is rude for people to not tell you and the dining steward if they know they will be going to alternative dining the next night. Let people know so you don't inconvenience them. IF you don't know in advance, that's fine but common courtesy would ask you tell when possible. The steward normally waits about 10-15 minutes as he doesn't want to make two trips to get appetizers/soup if the others show up late. It sets the whole table service off.

 

 

 

 

Yes we have given up and now request a table for 2. We have had some wonderful tablemates over the years but last 4 years or so it didn't work out. People do seem to be getting more selfish. Anytime dining hasn't helped....it's great sat alone on a table for eight:D

[jamessemaj]

Ok, complete newbie here, with a related question. We are on princess in February with the late seating for traditional dining. So once you choose your seats the first night, are you expected to sit in the same seats for the rest of the week? Is it rude not too?

 

That's an interesting question, and I would say that it would be rude to take a seat somebody else had been occupying previously, without at least asking the person about switching. I sometimes would like to switch seats, but would not do so preemptively and don't like it done to me.

[paul929207]

Ok, complete newbie here, with a related question. We are on princess in February with the late seating for traditional dining. So once you choose your seats the first night, are you expected to sit in the same seats for the rest of the week? Is it rude not too?

We have often changed around the seating from night to night. We get different views and also get to sit next to different people.

[Laurie S.]

Change seats, no one is assigned a seat nor is it yours permanently just because your butt sat in it the first night. ;)