Sitting with strangers in the MDR

[SPacificbound]

We've only had one occasion with impolite people and fortunately it was a one time experience at lunch. We were seated at a table already occupied by two other couples. We introduced ourselves and they continued their conversation never acknowledging we had arrived. After lunch I told them, "Its been a pleasure NOT meeting you"!

 

That was our experience the one and only time we were seated at a big table with four people already there. We greeted them and they acted like no one else was there. It was lunch though, not dinner, on our first cruise.

[iancal]

No issue dining with strangers. We always do anytime dining so there is no chance of being 'stuck' at a table that we do not like. One of the reasons why we like anytime dining so much.

[BarbRN]

We've always enjoyed meeting and hearing how people around the world live. It's such a fun learning experience. We've had a few people who are a bit strange but we laugh later. Never spoiled our time. Everytime we sit with Aussies, we have fun! Best bunch of people I've ever met.

 

My husband is somewhat reserved but even he enjoys it now.

[ducklite]

We prefer ships with open dining. Some nights we enjoy being seated at a large table, some nights we like to dine with the person(s) we've been enjoying pre-dinner cocktails with, and some nights we enjoy dining alone.

[Cruisin'Christine]

I have typically enjoyed eating at tables with people we do not know. There are still several who I continue to correspond with by email or Christmas cards. Sometimes, table mates have been very fun! You get to meet people from different places, which is interesting. That being said, when we cruise Norwegian, which has freestyle dining, we often opt for a table for two, so that we are not meeting new people every night.

[cruiseonthebrain]

 

I would ask, why anyone would book a vacation where they would be in close proximity to 2-4,000 other people, all strangers, if they had a reticence or phobia around strangers?

 

 

 

LOL

I don't like being in crowds of strangers- but I still like to cruise and it has never really been a problem. We just change our schedule to avoid the most crowded areas of the ship at the most crowded times. Planning, along with a nice private suite and balcony and I don't even notice the several thousand other people.

[Velvetwater]

We like to do a mix of just us and eating with friends/strangers/a mix of both which is why we love anytime dining.

 

Our first cruise we really didn't like the thought of sharing with strangers (being aloof Brits and everything ;)) but on our second we decided to try sharing with strangers and we met some fun people...with anytime its no biggie if you do not get on but we have been lucky.

[lahlah57]

We've always enjoyed meeting and hearing how people around the world live. It's such a fun learning experience. We've had a few people who are a bit strange but we laugh later. Never spoiled our time. Everytime we sit with Aussies, we have fun! Best bunch of people I've ever met.

 

My husband is somewhat reserved but even he enjoys it now.

 

I know.....us too! Love their sense of humor and great conversationalists! They do not leave anyone out with their noses in the air! A fun culture to travel with!

[Norcalcouple]

I am surprised that this thread has gone on as long as it has. Cruisers are a diverse group, and it's nice that the ships have tables for two, four, eight, etc. To each his own.

 

Bob

[Yvonne]

I am surprised that this thread has gone on as long as it has. Cruisers are a diverse group, and it's nice that the ships have tables for two, four, eight, etc. To each his own.

 

Bob

 

I agree, "to each their own." I totally understand those who prefer to be seated with strangers and enjoy talking to them, as well as those who don't which is the group I am in. What I can't understand is someone who thinks the opposite group is strange or odd or "missing out" on something, etc. We all enjoy our own preference and neither preference is wrong.

 

On our first few cruises we were seated with strangers at dinner and we didn't enjoy it at all. We hate making small talk with strangers and we're not interested in making friends with them. We don't care where they're from, what they do for a living, how many kids they have, blah, blah, blah. Personally, I don't even like making small talk with someone in the elevator. I've had people that want to strike up conversations in the elevator and I really wonder why they do that. We're only on the elevator for a few seconds or a minute or two anyway.

 

But as far as eating with strangers on the ships I'm glad we no longer have to do that. We love anytime dining. Being able to go when we want and either sit at a table for two if we're cruising just the two of us, or just with our family members. So much more enjoyable and relaxing.

 

And for the buffet at breakfast or lunch I would never dream of asking anyone else if we could share their table, and I wouldn't appreciate strangers wanting to sit at our table either. If there are no empty tables, we just walk through again and usually one has opened up. Now I wouldn't sit at a large table, just the two of us, but either a table for two or four.

[XBGuy]

I haven't read through all sixteen pages of this conversation, but I've certainly read enough of it to use it to demonstrate my favorite theory about cruising: that everybody has their own reason for enjoying cruising and eveybody has the ability to customize their experience to their comfort and enjoyment level.

 

Let me add the XBGuys' perspective to this.

 

On the first three cruises "Tradition Dining" was the only paradigm. When we made out reservations we would have the TA request table for two. As soon as we boarded, we would head to the dining room, meet with the Maitre d' and verify that our wishes had been met. On at least one of those occasions, we had been, in fact, assigned to a shared table, but we were able to change that.

 

Our fourth cruise was with a 10-person family group celebrating Mrs. XBGuy's parents' 50th Wedding Anniversary. So, we all sat together for that cruise.

 

Our fifth cruise was a 2-weeker from Chile through the Panama Canal to the Fort. When we met with the Maitre d' we found that we were at a shared table and there were no two-tops to which we could be moved. So, we shared. Our table mates were reasonably nice. So far, so good. This was the first ship we'd ever sailed that had a specialty restaurant. After about four or five days we happened to walk by this restaurant and, on a whim, made a reservation for that evening. I suppose it is needless to say, we enjoyed that experience, immensely. Not only did we enjoy the privacy, but the meals were superior, the wine list was superior and the service was superior to the dining room experience. We found that when we went back to the dining room, our table mates seemed to be more condescending and, frankly, tedious. Maybe it was my bad for not being socially skillful enough to make the experience more enjoyable for us. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

 

Anyway since retirement we have taken five cruises (on Princess) and have always opted for "Anytime Dining." We have dined together for every dinner and really enjoy that experience.

 

Now here's the funny thing. I am a much more socialble person than my wife. At this point, I am going to sound like Yvonne's worst nightmare.

 

My wife likes to sleep in every morning. When I wake up (usually between 7:00 and 8:00), I am awake, and I get up. When on a cruise I head to the buffet for breakfast--hanging the "Please, Do Not Disturb" sign on the door as I leave. After going through the buffet line I look for a table--preferably one to share with other passengers. My normal strategy is to look for a six-top where two or three people are sitting and invite myself in. My second strategy is to look for an empty table (four or six) and take a seat. If I see somebody wandering around with a loaded tray and a glazed look on their face, I will signal them to take a seat at my table. I have had some great conversations with people during my breakfasts (the 93-year-old lady from San Jose who still worked full-time as an office manager, the three 40-year High School freinds from New York, the music teacher from Iowa whose husband could not understand my appreciation of Anton Bruckner, the guy from Texas who looked cross-eyed at my pink shirt), and I don't spend enough time with them to learn any of their quirky irritating habits because it is unlikely that I will see them again. :D

 

So, Yvonne, if you are seated at a two-top in the buffet area you are safe from me. Even if you are at a four-top, I'll probably leave you alone. If you and your husband are seated alone at a six-top and I approach, just say something like "I'm sorry. We're saving those seats for our family." :)

 

I wouldn't say that I try to strike up conversations in an elevator, but if something strikes me funny, I may joke about it. Also, if I am the last person onto a crowded elevator I will often "ride backwards"--i.e., I won't turn around and face the door. I'll look at everybody's faces. Again, Yvonne, try not to worry. I usually take the stairs up and down the ship. Mrs. XBGuy's knees are not so great, and, so, she likes elevators. However, her knees are not so bad that we can't compromise. If we are going up/down three or less levels we take the stairs. If it is more than three, we usually take an elevator.

[ray8905]

Sounds great

 

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[paul929207]

You do realize that this is a 2 year old thread.

[ray8905]

You do realize that this is a 2 year old thread.

Sorry thanks

 

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[navybankerteacher]

You do realize that this is a 2 year old thread.

 

Actually, this thread started in 2014, and was revived in 2016. But when you come to think about it, the topic will be valid as long as there is the option to dine with others or just your travel companion. Some people strongly prefer to just dine with their travel companions and therefore want any time dining or table for two if assigned dining. Others prefer the option (which is almost only experienced while cruising) of joining the same group for dinner each evening for a week or longer.

 

Perhaps it depends upon experience - people who have never, or only rarely, experienced such group dining might be reluctant to try it. Others, who dine with their spouse every night of their lives might see it as an interesting change.

 

Additionally, some people may be very experienced with such assigned group dining and are comfortable with the experience. For example: people who went to summer camp, or boarding school in their childhood, or those who might have belonged to a fraternity or sorority in college and had common meals with the same group for a few years, or those with military experience - perhaps the most obvious - living and dining with a group of perhaps a dozen wardroom officers on a Navy ship, or had worked with a company with a dining room and lunched at a common table --- these are all experiences which make assigned dining on a cruise ship a pleasant experience.

 

It is good that options exist - people who do not want to dine with others do not have to, while those who are comfortable with joining a common table can find great enjoyment.

[pris993]

 

Does anyone else have a problem with that? Every time we walk on a cruise ship the first thing my husband and I do is hunt down the maître D and request a table for 2. I have noticed throughout the cruise the tables near me begin to have missing people and I have often wondered if they didn't like their tablemates and began eating up on the Lido deck.

 

What happens if you don't like your tablemates and request another table? Then you have to hope you don't bump into them on the ship because that would be awkward.

 

This is one thing about cruising I think needs to be changed. Am I the only one who feels this way?

 

We do not cruise to make friends... so like you we could care less about sharing a table. Haven't done it years. So if it is not your cut of tea do not sweat it, just continue what you are doing.

[Z'Loth]

I joined Toastmasters twelve years ago for several reasons, some of them career-related, but one of them is to work on my introverted self to become more sociable. I hope that I've developed my impromptu skills enough to strike up a conversation with my table mates. I will be important as I will be traveling solo. And, you never know who you will meet that can career-changing.

 

I've already did one step already: Join the Roll Call of my upcoming cruise.

[navybankerteacher]

I joined Toastmasters twelve years ago for several reasons' date=' some of them career-related, but one of them is to work on my introverted self to become more sociable. I hope that I've developed my impromptu skills enough to strike up a conversation with my table mates. I will be important as I will be traveling solo. And, you never know who you will meet that can career-changing.

 

I've already did one step already: Join the Roll Call of my upcoming cruise.[/quote']

 

When you cruise solo, having a large table for dinner each evening can give you a nucleus of people you get to know during the cruise, making dining an interesting rather than a lonely experience. In stead of eating alone, or with a new stranger each evening, you can continue previous conversations so it isn't a matter of continually introducing yourself to strangers.

[Hlitner]

Funny thing. When it comes to folks who are anti-social ("we don't care about making friends") or introverted to a point where they cannot carry on a friendly conversation, then we hope they enjoy their 2-tops :). But we still love to share large tables, meet new folks, make friends, and have a lot of fun. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. And since we always do Anytime (or Open) Dining...if we get tired of the socialization we can always ask for a 2 top for a change of pace.

 

Hank

[Blasnif]

We mix it up. We frequently dine in the buffet, but also have had seats at a table for eight that just follow one after the other into the dining room. A few times we have had table companions that we REALLY liked (not just found tolerable) and have had one as a friend for about 20 years. Variety is the spice of life. It is good to ease out of your comfort zone every once in awhile.

[toyman55]

The only problem I had was when they sat us at a table with a bunch of children whose parents ate at a different sitting. I complained to the maître'd who changed us. I asked why he would do that and he said we had two children so he thought we would like it.

 

I don't think I tipped him much for his assumptions. I hope he liked it.

[K32682]

The over-amped and often intrusive "sociable" people who LOVE!!! sitting with complete strangers, can't wait to make NEW FRIENDS!!!!, look forward to talking to EVERYONE!!! are precisely the kind of people I do not want to share one meal with much less an entire cruise worth of dinners. Table for two please.

[navybankerteacher]

The over-amped and often intrusive "sociable" people who LOVE!!! sitting with complete strangers, can't wait to make NEW FRIENDS!!!!, look forward to talking to EVERYONE!!! are precisely the kind of people I do not want to share one meal with much less an entire cruise worth of dinners. Table for two please.

 

This is one way (slightly extreme) of looking at being willing to meet different people; which, after all, is one of many reasons for traveling. Of course, cruise lines try to accommodate all passengers by providing tables for two, as well as any time dining. I do not believe any "sociable" person would want to share a table with people who do not want to meet strangers; so, everyone wins.

[Hlitner]

The over-amped and often intrusive "sociable" people who LOVE!!! sitting with complete strangers, can't wait to make NEW FRIENDS!!!!, look forward to talking to EVERYONE!!! are precisely the kind of people I do not want to share one meal with much less an entire cruise worth of dinners. Table for two please.

 

With your anti-social attitude we would sure hope the Maitre'd would put you at a 2-top...somewhere in a far corner :) where you can have peace.....

 

Hank

[mom says]

The over-amped and often intrusive "sociable" people who LOVE!!! sitting with complete strangers, can't wait to make NEW FRIENDS!!!!, look forward to talking to EVERYONE!!! are precisely the kind of people I do not want to share one meal with much less an entire cruise worth of dinners. Table for two please.

 

With your anti-social attitude we would sure hope the Maitre'd would put you at a 2-top...somewhere in a far corner :) where you can have peace.....

 

Hlitner, don't you think that was a bit harsh? Just because the OP doesn't want to be forced to dine with the type of people he described, does that mark him as anti social and deserving of segregation? Did he say anywhere in his post that he never wanted to engage with any of his fellow cruisers while aboard? I haven't followed the entire thread in depth.

 

DH and I certainly enjoy meeting people on our cruises. We've shared plenty of tables with people we've met on an excursion, or have had an engaging conversation with over drinks in a lounge. But we hate fixed traditional meals where we are required to dine with people we don't know from Adam. We had to do this on our first few cruises (no choice in those days). Only once did this turn out very well. And there are some evenings when it's just nice to have a quiet, pleasant meal with just the 2 of us. So I guess we're antisocial too?