Guests being addressed by their first name?

[Ravenscroft]

I don't really wish to make this thread about the rights and wrongs of this situation, I'd just like some feedback from recent SS cruisers as to the veracity of this claim.

I was reading some of the reviews yesterday, and I can't remember which ship it was, either Whisper or Spirit, fairly recently.

The reviewer noted that he/she found it inappropriate that the crew addressed the guests by their first names. :eek:

I find this very surprising on a Silversea ship.

Is it true?

[duct tape]

Sometimes. It is not standard practice. Please let the appropriate person know of your discomfort with that. I understand your reaction.

[wripro]

I wouldn't mind if the purser came up to me and said, "Here's a refund for your cruise, Henry!"

[RachelG]

Normally I have been addressed as Mrs G..... or Dr. G...... But on the explorer, I have gotten to know some of the expedition leaders and guides quite well. So they call me by my first name, which is appropriate.

[Mr Luxury]

Normally I have been addressed as Mrs G..... or Dr. G...... But on the explorer, I have gotten to know some of the expedition leaders and guides quite well. So they call me by my first name, which is appropriate.

 

 

That's fine but not by the waitstaff or general crew.

 

Not even the officers do this unless you are a regular and have known them for quit a while.

 

 

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[UKCruiseJeff]

I don't really wish to make this thread about the rights and wrongs of this situation, I'd just like some feedback from recent SS cruisers as to the veracity of this claim.

I was reading some of the reviews yesterday, and I can't remember which ship it was, either Whisper or Spirit, fairly recently.

The reviewer noted that he/she found it inappropriate that the crew addressed the guests by their first names. :eek:

I find this very surprising on a Silversea ship.

Is it true?

 

This is absolutely terrible. A person of lesser status and importance did this terrible faux pas and failed to recognise how puffed up and important a Silverseas customer is and called them by their first name and not the second. Outrageous. :eek: They should write a letter immediately to Manfredi, demanding this person is sacked straight away. :mad:

 

I am stunned at this thread. I am feeling more and more marginalised by other people's idea of their own incomprehensible sense of self importance, simply because they were born where they were and have managed to have enough cash to buy a cruise on Silversea.

 

These people that look after you are almost all trying to produce behaviour that makes them feel that they genuinely believe are being friendly to passengers and making their passengers cruises better. They are not being disrespectful. They are trying to put customers at ease and hoping that they relax. They mostly have no experience of wealth and the illnesses that this sometimes bestows on the wealthy, or the angst they have that makes them object. They are trying. They mean well. That is surely what we all want. What is in the heart not in the manual.

 

I want everyone in the whole wide world to call me Jeff. Why on earth not. If it makes them friendlier and more at ease with me more quickly, why not? Who is going to be harmed?

 

I am not delusional about relationships. We all live once. Those that look after me do not have less status in the world than me. If anything the reverse, Whoever I call by their first name I expect to call me by my first name. I always remember "there but for the Grace of God go I". I feel sorry that some feel that the "Do You know Who I Am" barrier has to be artificially created and permanently preserved for some people's fragile idea of their status. None of us have any status. If you don't believe me - ask me again in 50 years.

 

:)

[Observer]

Thanks, Jeff, for a post that captures my feelings well. In fact, probably better than I could capture them myself. My voyages are generally long ones. I get to know the crew fairly well, and they of course ask me my name. I tell them only my given name. -- let's say "Jeff." 😄I assume that they are discouraged – perhaps even prohibited – from using given names. One would don't want self important people to be offended by being addressed by there given names. Thus, I am often referred to by the staff – especially waitstaff – as "Sir Jeff." So there is a combination of familiarity with honorifics.

[UKCruiseJeff]

Thanks, Jeff, for a post that captures my feelings well. In fact, probably better than I could capture them myself. My voyages are generally long ones. I get to know the crew fairly well, and they of course ask me my name. I tell them only my given name. -- let's say "Jeff." 😄I assume that they are discouraged – perhaps even prohibited – from using given names. One would don't want self important people to be offended by being addressed by there given names. Thus, I am often referred to by the staff – especially waitstaff – as "Sir Jeff." So there is a combination of familiarity with honorifics.

 

Thanks. I thought I was going mad.

 

I'm incensed, Almost to a joss stick. I spend all my time trying to get people that look after me to relax and call wifey and me by our first name. I feel so lucky that I can do what I do and have them look after me. I want them to enjoy doing that and I want to get to know them if we spend time together.

 

Thanks again. I expected the first response to be completely different.

 

Jeff

[Mr Luxury]

As much as it is good that someone who serves you can call you by your first name it is probably not how they are trained and they would get into trouble with their bosses if this was seen to be the case.

 

The service industry does have a well established system that generally works.but I agree when you talk to those that do a great job at serving you,it is a nice feeling when you can make them feel at ease.

 

 

 

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[WesW]

Well said Jeff, we prefer Wes & Ida and often like Observer notes above our server's meet us half way and call us Mr. Wes and/or Mrs. Ida. We were called Sir and Ma'am for decades in our careers because the Soldiers were required to address us this way.

 

Therefore, our preference now is to be called Wes & Ida reflecting our desire and not to be called Mr. or Mrs because of policy.

[UKCruiseJeff]

Well said Jeff, we prefer Wes & Ida and often like Observer notes above our server's meet us half way and call us Mr. Wes and/or Mrs. Ida. We were called Sir and Ma'am for decades in our careers because the Soldiers were required to address us this way.

 

Therefore, our preference now is to be called Wes & Ida reflecting our desire and not to be called Mr. or Mrs because of policy.

 

Thanks Wes,

 

In the military everything depends on discipline and mutual respect, and in particular respect for status in terms of line of command. Lives and countries in the end depend on that, not friendliness.

 

These people are trying to be friendly. That is what we want. They do better at their jobs when they are being friendly. That doesn't mean being sloppy or "over familiar" but befriending, caring and doing your job well isn't precluded by the use of first names.

 

Jeff

[Rotterdam]

I am in my mid 50's and have travelled extensively for many years now. Granted life is more casual than years ago(not having to wear black tie every night in tropical climates) but when it comes to business & service relationships its different. I always treat people w/ respect but found in these days the younger staff feel that the casualness lets them be more casual in their efforts. I am not there to be there friend. I know here in NYC there is an abundance of this casualness & a lack of capable service staff. In one restaurant a barman tried to convince me to have "HIS version" of a Manhattan when I was quite sure I knew what I wanted..this went on for 10 minutes while I waited for friends. I never ha m Manhattan(or his version) and he never received a tip. This is quite common now - even the service in The Four Seasons Hotel here is questionable. When I am a guest in someone's home I know how to behave...when I am in a business situation I expect the same....professionalism.

 

I know when I am in Europe I have NEVER been addressed by my first name and to date it has never happened onboard any ship I have sailed on.

 

Many years a go I had a friendship w/ an officer from Cunard that I met on QE2 - a wonderful man - anytime he introduced me to anyone else onboard it was always as Mr.... He passed away a couple of years ago but our friendship was separate from his duties onboard.

 

I too hope the staff onboard is happy, professional & well trained and capable. How one is addressed need not be based on self importance but rather a desperate need to be liked!

 

Enjoy your day Mr. Jeff!

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is absolutely terrible. A person of lesser status and importance did this terrible faux pas and failed to recognise how puffed up and important a Silverseas customer is and called them by their first name and not the second. Outrageous. :eek: They should write a letter immediately to Manfredi, demanding this person is sacked straight away. :mad:

 

I am stunned at this thread. I am feeling more and more marginalised by other people's idea of their own incomprehensible sense of self importance, simply because they were born where they were and have managed to have enough cash to buy a cruise on Silversea.

 

These people that look after you are almost all trying to produce behaviour that makes them feel that they genuinely believe are being friendly to passengers and making their passengers cruises better. They are not being disrespectful. They are trying to put customers at ease and hoping that they relax. They mostly have no experience of wealth and the illnesses that this sometimes bestows on the wealthy, or the angst they have that makes them object. They are trying. They mean well. That is surely what we all want. What is in the heart not in the manual.

 

I want everyone in the whole wide world to call me Jeff. Why on earth not. If it makes them friendlier and more at ease with me more quickly, why not? Who is going to be harmed?

 

I am not delusional about relationships. We all live once. Those that look after me do not have less status in the world than me. If anything the reverse, Whoever I call by their first name I expect to call me by my first name. I always remember "there but for the Grace of God go I". I feel sorry that some feel that the "Do You know Who I Am" barrier has to be artificially created and permanently preserved for some people's fragile idea of their status. None of us have any status. If you don't believe me - ask me again in 50 years.

 

:)

[UKCruiseJeff]

i agree with all you say and it is a good post, but on a completely different topic. You have confused two completely different issues. Who said being friendly was the same as being friends? You are discussing about how people may abuse familiarity. That is nothing to do with this issue.

 

Why does the use of a first name imply that they are a friend with all of the additional benefits and latitudes that being a friend might bring to a genuine friendship? What has that got to do with abuse by presumed and contrived familiarity. If it were it would be wrong. This is a simple issue of someone " who knows their place" ( if you like) "trying to be friendly". Calling someone by either of their names doesn't mandate any particular level of service. First name does mot equal casualness or sloppiness. I have worked ina corporation and had my own business. Everyone called me by my first name. It never stopped me telling them what I expected or required.

 

If someone calls me by my first name but doesn't do their job, I would have it put right.

 

You are with respect trying to shoe-horn a completely different issue to justify what seems to me to be a misplaced prejudice.

 

Jeff

 

 

 

I am in my mid 50's and have travelled extensively for many years now. Granted life is more casual than years ago(not having to wear black tie every night in tropical climates) but when it comes to business & service relationships its different. I always treat people w/ respect but found in these days the younger staff feel that the casualness lets them be more casual in their efforts. I am not there to be there friend. I know here in NYC there is an abundance of this casualness & a lack of capable service staff. In one restaurant a barman tried to convince me to have "HIS version" of a Manhattan when I was quite sure I knew what I wanted..this went on for 10 minutes while I waited for friends. I never ha m Manhattan(or his version) and he never received a tip. This is quite common now - even the service in The Four Seasons Hotel here is questionable. When I am a guest in someone's home I know how to behave...when I am in a business situation I expect the same....professionalism.

 

I know when I am in Europe I have NEVER been addressed by my first name and to date it has never happened onboard any ship I have sailed on.

 

Many years a go I had a friendship w/ an officer from Cunard that I met on QE2 - a wonderful man - anytime he introduced me to anyone else onboard it was always as Mr.... He passed away a couple of years ago but our friendship was separate from his duties onboard.

 

I too hope the staff onboard is happy, professional & well trained and capable. How one is addressed need not be based on self importance but rather a desperate need to be liked!

 

Enjoy your day Mr. Jeff!

Edited December 6, 2014 by UKCruiseJeff

[Silver Spectre]

I don't really wish to make this thread about the rights and wrongs of this situation, I'd just like some feedback from recent SS cruisers as to the veracity of this claim.

I was reading some of the reviews yesterday, and I can't remember which ship it was, either Whisper or Spirit, fairly recently.

The reviewer noted that he/she found it inappropriate that the crew addressed the guests by their first names. :eek:

I find this very surprising on a Silversea ship.

Is it true?

 

Valid post and sensible question, but I would put money on your wishing that you had never raised the subject.

 

Please don't let some of the responses put you off.

[UKCruiseJeff]

Valid post and sensible question, but I would put money on your wishing that you had never raised the subject.

 

Please don't let some of the responses put you off.

 

Would I be right in presuming that someone who feels that the whole wide world should have a daily bulletin of their trivia score also feels they should be called "maam" by her lessers?

 

:D

[duct tape]

Sometimes I am addressed as Duct Tape. After all, I was named by the crew!

[UKCruiseJeff]

Sometimes I am addressed as Duct Tape. After all, I was named by the crew!

 

That's a great name. :D

 

I answer to anything.

[Silver Spectre]

Sometimes I am addressed as Duct Tape. After all, I was named by the crew!

 

Don't you find that some of the posters on these boards map you laugh so much that you could do serious damage.:p

[carefreecruise]

Sometimes I am addressed as Duct Tape. After all, I was named by the crew!

 

I will bet your really popular with the HVAC techs on-board....

[Ravenscroft]

I don't really wish to make this thread about the rights and wrongs of this situation, I'd just like some feedback from recent SS cruisers as to the veracity of this claim.

 

 

AHEM !!

 

Call to order (yes I do wish I hadn't posted the bloody question now).

 

I didn't express my own opinion either way; so I'd appreciate a bit less hostility please.

 

I just wanted to know if it's true that crew are addressing guests on first name terms. I was surprised to read it in a recent review, because to me it doesn't seem to be SS style.

 

I once asked our butler - midway through a 21 day back to back - to please call me by my first name. He couldn't bring himself to do it so he insisted on calling me "Mrs" First Name for the rest of the cruise.

[Ravenscroft]

I've just seen the post by Wes and see that he and Ida are known as Mr Wes and Mrs Ida, the same as the butler wouldn't call me by my first name, so that sounds like the norm when I last sailed with SS.

 

It seems like things have changed on SS, if the reviewer is to be believed?

I guess I'll never know because the thread had to be turned into a bunfight. :mad:

[Emtbsam]

I find it impressive that the crew can address any of us by name even though our pictures are on all the iPads. We have two different last names, so if they meet him first, I am Mrs. Smith and if they meet me first, he is Mr. Jones. I applaud the crew that remember our real last names, and I have no problem being called Mrs. V or Mr. B.

 

Just my opinion.

[duct tape]

OK, I'll bite, what is a bunfight? Where do you see hostility? I am sure none is intended. As I stated, yes, it has been heard, but I believe it is by invitation only.

[WesW]

Ok, when we board in Sydney, Mrs. V and Mr. B it is :)

[duct tape]

I am still waiting for "bunfight". Intriguing!