Dress Code for dinner

[Flatbush Flyer]

We were brought up to dress for the occasion, and what may be the norm for others didn't sound so for your mother. What would it have hurt for guests to honor your mother and her occasion by dressing to her tastes, not theirs?

 

 

OR.... have the family members chip in and buy her a nice birthday outfit.

[shellsrus]

Why do dress code threads never die? They proliferate on all the boards. New ones replace old ones. They go on and on and on.....then reproduce again.

 

Is it more complicated than: 1) read the cruise lines stated dress code, if you have questions, clarify with them, 2) Comply, 3) if someone is violating the established dress code on board and it bothers you, report it to the management on board (it's not you job to police this), if they do nothing and it still bothers you, choose another cruise line or stay home, or, (more likely) vent and pontificate on threads like this one, or, better yet....start a new thread and we can do it all over again!

[MarkieMarkNYC]

Showing up in a pair of comfort fit Lee blue jeans is just, and claiming them to be dress jeans is just as ludicrous as me showing up in bib overalls claiming them to be dressy! I’ve witnessed many show up to the various restaurants in jeans, and turn away, because only in their mind were the jeans dressy and not casual! It’s no different than a decade ago when people started showing up in slick fabric sweat suits acting like they were dressy! No they’re sweat suits! 98% of the blue jeans sold are no dressier than sweat pants, and a very low percentage of people wearing blue jeans, attempting entrance into the GDR or Specialties, are wearing one of those 2% of blue jeans that might pass as dressy. However, all of them like making a scene and arguing with the Matre de over the issue!

Where do you get your statistics?

[ORV]

Where do you get your statistics?

 

96% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

 

I'm starting to be amused by this thread. I just can't understand why people can't read a simple dress code and accept it.

 

As I've said many times when somebody else wants to pay my fare then they can tell me what to do. Until then I think I'll read the company's policies and just follow them.

[AZjohn]

Why do dress code threads never die?

 

I'm starting to be amused by this thread.

 

We all knew this would happen.

I just ran out of popcorn. Please hold as I run to the store real quick;p

[ptiprof]

I am astonished by the level of nastiness hurled at me and my family. The purpose of my post was simply to point out that concepts of "dressy" differ, and one should not impose one's own ideas on others. On the Cunard boards, there are discussions of suit vs. sports jacket and the definition of black tie. Of course we dress in line with the published dress standards of any cruise line we choose to sail; for this reason, we will not sail Cunard. However, within the written guidelines, there is room for a variety of dress styles, and the level of judgement, sarcasm, and just plain rudeness exhibited here saddens me. My mother had a lovely time at her party, by the way, as did we all.

[keithm]

We are looking forward to our first Oceania Cruise this fall after many years of cruising from mass market to luxury (Regent/Crystal...). We have come to realize that attire is regional, cultural, and generational. Hawaiian shirts and cowboy boots with string ties are regionally appropriate in virtually any setting. We live on the California coast, and I truly can’t think of a restaurant including the most venerable/traditional/elegant where “dressy jeans” with lovely tops and shoes (ladies) or dress shirts (men) would be inappropriate. My mother was afraid that my 63 year old brother and my son would be “refused entrance” to the fine restaurant where we held her 90th birthday party. Neither of them owns a suit nor do they need one at work or at leisure. Once Mom saw the range from cocktail dresses and suits to ball caps and jeans, she understood that the norms of her East Coast childhood no longer applied in this time and our area. The CEO’s of the Millennial generation wear t-shirts to board meetings and a requirement to remove hats indoors is no more relevant to many than my mother’s dictum that one doesn’t wear white after Labor Day. Some areas of the country are far more traditional and formal—understood. Clean and neat—of course. However please don’t look at peoples’ clothing choices as a sign of disrespect or assume that one’s own region/culture/age groups choices are superior.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Yes, I guess it's too hard for pax to bother reading up on the line they've chosen. The west(left) coast is known to be a bastion of bad dress style. Dressing that way even on a line that talks about Country Club Casual is still plain foolish. The cruise line is not inhabited by style schlubs who may or may not be CEO's of some millennial company. Sorry, but dressing like the last paragraph seems to imply total disrespect of other's culture. We're NOT talking tuxes/suits. We're talking simple proper dress & T shirts & flip back ball caps imply a slovenly dress code that I don't wish to see on a cruise line that considers it's self to be premium to borderline luxury. One's idea of dressy jeans could be less ripped 501's.

[keithm]

Ptiprof;

 

Do I just need to ensure I do well defined creases ironed into my bib overalls so to have my regional preferences appear acceptable? According to you , maybe I don’t need to remove my John Deere hat after all!

Probably don't need any shirt with the overalls, either!

[keithm]

If you are dressing to impress..... go for it but don’t tell other people to stay home. That is arrogant. Particularly from someone who has never been on a cruise. I could throw that right back at you, that with your fantastic expectations maybe you should stay home. You should lower your expectations.

Well, if you support the wearing of inappropriate clothing on a premium line, you're among those who lower the expectations of others that make at least some effort to not look like a slob.

[keithm]

I am astonished by the level of nastiness hurled at me and my family. The purpose of my post was simply to point out that concepts of "dressy" differ, and one should not impose one's own ideas on others. On the Cunard boards, there are discussions of suit vs. sports jacket and the definition of black tie. Of course we dress in line with the published dress standards of any cruise line we choose to sail; for this reason, we will not sail Cunard. However, within the written guidelines, there is room for a variety of dress styles, and the level of judgement, sarcasm, and just plain rudeness exhibited here saddens me. My mother had a lovely time at her party, by the way, as did we all.

Thank God you would NOT sail Cunard!! We have frequently. We adhere to what the code is for each line. Oceania is a nice relaxed line, but with a bit of style. We saw virtually only one pax wearing jeans at night. Everyone else wore nice shirts,mostly dress(short & long sleeve)nice pants, dress or nicely pressed khakis. We were surprised at the amount who wore sport coats at dinner. Very few ties, but overall a nice dressed group.

[MarkieMarkNYC]

Well, I think the lesson here is that you can slap Dockers on a pig, but underneath it's still a pig.

[shedridt]

Alas! It would seem that standards are meant to be challenged so that they can be abolished, & this is regrettable.

 

A week or so ago, the Wall Street Journal published an article in this vein in their Misery Column. In that Dear Uncle Agony column, a young man said that he had recently been hired by a company & they had a dress requirement that included suits & ties for gentlemen. "HOW, he said, Can I change this, as I am uncomfortable wearing a suit & tie?"

 

The answer to me is obvious - that you have obviously joined the wrong organization if you know from the get-go that you will not be comfortably attired there. BUT - beyond that, how dare this young man of 22 or so years dare to think that his first act in his new company will be to change its culture?

 

AND so it goes for cruise ships.....in mho...

[harryspotter]

Just saw this

 

https://www.cruisecritic.co.uk/articles.cfm?ID=2308&et_cid=3073529&et_rid=237091517&et_referrer=Boards%20-%20CC-UK

[MarkieMarkNYC]

I miss hoop skirts and top hats.

[keithm]

Alas! It would seem that standards are meant to be challenged so that they can be abolished, & this is regrettable.

 

A week or so ago, the Wall Street Journal published an article in this vein in their Misery Column. In that Dear Uncle Agony column, a young man said that he had recently been hired by a company & they had a dress requirement that included suits & ties for gentlemen. "HOW, he said, Can I change this, as I am uncomfortable wearing a suit & tie?"

 

The answer to me is obvious - that you have obviously joined the wrong organization if you know from the get-go that you will not be comfortably attired there. BUT - beyond that, how dare this young man of 22 or so years dare to think that his first act in his new company will be to change its culture?

 

AND so it goes for cruise ships.....in mho...

Saw that article!

[musicmom3]

I am astonished by the level of nastiness hurled at me and my family. The purpose of my post was simply to point out that concepts of "dressy" differ, and one should not impose one's own ideas on others. On the Cunard boards, there are discussions of suit vs. sports jacket and the definition of black tie. Of course we dress in line with the published dress standards of any cruise line we choose to sail; for this reason, we will not sail Cunard. However, within the written guidelines, there is room for a variety of dress styles, and the level of judgement, sarcasm, and just plain rudeness exhibited here saddens me. My mother had a lovely time at her party, by the way, as did we all.

 

I've been following along here because we have our first Oceania cruise upcoming. I have been really surprised by the level of mean-spirited commentary that's been published in response to your post. You've been very civil throughout, and I hope there are lots of people like you on our Oceania adventure.

[ORV]

I think there's some people posting here who truly don't have a clue what the dress code on Oceania is. :rolleyes:

 

NO JACKET REQUIRED!, Wear one if you want though. That's the beauty of Oceania.

 

As I've mentioned before, people should stop trying to interpret the dress code to be what they want it to be and just read it and follow accordingly.

 

Some things really aren't as hard as some people make them out to be.

 

I used to work with a lady whose favorite saying was "Don't should on others"

[Charles4515]

Well, if you support the wearing of inappropriate clothing on a premium line, you're among those who lower the expectations of others that make at least some effort to not look like a slob.

 

I don't support wearing inappropriate clothing. I only correct the misinformation posted by self appointed, self proclaimed fashion police. Neither you or I get to decide or enforce what is inappropriate clothing.

[riffatsea]

Wow! First time Oceania cruiser here and the rudeness shown on this thread towards those of us who live in California is just mind boggling!!

X Nyrker now in San Diego who knows the great differences in clothing style between the coasts but accepts that regions of our country(and of other countries) are not better/worse but just different.

It is quite snobbish to assume your particular style of dress is "correct" everywhere!

Hopefully the few rude people writing here are not the standard for all Oceania cruisers!

[ptiprof]

Many thanks to musicmom3, ORV, Charles4515, and riffatsea. As a first time Oceania cruiser, I was beginning to rethink our October cruise if the general attitude of other cruisers is reflected in the judgement, rudeness, and general lack of civility I encountered in response to my post. I clearly stated, "Of course we dress in line with the published dress standards of any cruise line we choose to sail; nevertheless I was excoriated for pointing out that people have different points of view.

[keithm]

I don't support wearing inappropriate clothing. I only correct the misinformation posted by self appointed, self proclaimed fashion police. Neither you or I get to decide or enforce what is inappropriate clothing.

Sorry, but something like shorts & T shirts on Oceania & most lines at dinner in the MDR IS inappropriate & yes, I will say something! Sometimes you have to appoint yourself, because too many pax(such as yourself) are either too cowardly or just plain don't care. Yes, it DOES matter to me how pax dress(within obvious reason) I don't care to drop several thousand $$ to dine with pax who feel it's their God given right to totally ignore the dress code & then don't give a crap how offensive they may look. Saw a guy on Cunard several years ago who somehow snuck past the Maître D into the dining room dressed in a skanky pair of shorts & a wife beater T shirt. During the day I could have not cared, but it was formal night. Yes, I confronted all 6'-6" of the guy. I told him it was totally inappropriate dress for the evening. He said "whatcha gonna do about it?" I got the Maître D & demanded he have him leave & change. The Maître D booted him out. The area cheered me. I found out from his table mates, he was planning to do this. The group(Brits) were delighted to see him gone. Never saw him in the rest. for the remainder of the cruise. Actually never saw him anywhere on the QM2 after that night. Perhaps that was acceptable for you. For me it wasn't. I just wish more pax would actually have the balls to say something.

[Charles4515]

Sorry, but something like shorts & T shirts on Oceania & most lines at dinner in the MDR IS inappropriate & yes, I will say something! Sometimes you have to appoint yourself, because too many pax(such as yourself) are either too cowardly or just plain don't care. Yes, it DOES matter to me how pax dress(within obvious reason) I don't care to drop several thousand $$ to dine with pax who feel it's their God given right to totally ignore the dress code & then don't give a crap how offensive they may look. Saw a guy on Cunard several years ago who somehow snuck past the Maître D into the dining room dressed in a skanky pair of shorts & a wife beater T shirt. During the day I could have not cared, but it was formal night. Yes, I confronted all 6'-6" of the guy. I told him it was totally inappropriate dress for the evening. He said "whatcha gonna do about it?" I got the Maître D & demanded he have him leave & change. The Maître D booted him out. The area cheered me. I found out from his table mates, he was planning to do this. The group(Brits) were delighted to see him gone. Never saw him in the rest. for the remainder of the cruise. Actually never saw him anywhere on the QM2 after that night. Perhaps that was acceptable for you. For me it wasn't. I just wish more pax would actually have the balls to say something.

 

 

 

I won't appoint myself to police appropriate attire. I don't work for the cruise line. I am a passenger on vacation taking a cruise. Also I don't presume to be the judge of appropriate attire. If I think something affects health and safety....... I will say something to the crew. I certainly won't confront any passengers about their attire whether they are 6'-6" or 5'. It is not cowardice to not confront other passengers. It is common sense. If you confront other passengers you might be the one who gets the boot. It is good most passengers are not like you. For any new cruisers reading this, I have been on over 50 cruises and never saw a fellow passenger confront another passenger about their attire.

Edited April 12, 2018 by Charles4515

[musicmom3]

I won't appoint myself to police appropriate attire. I don't work for the cruise line. I am a passenger taking a cruise. I also don't presume to be the judge of appropriate attire. If I think something affects health and safety....... I will say something to the crew. I certainly won't confront any passengers about their attire whether they are 6'-6" or 5'. I have common sense. If you confront other passengers you might be the one who gets the boot. It is good most passengers are not like you. For any new cruisers reading this, I have been on over 50 cruises and never saw a fellow passenger confront another passenger about their attire.

 

As a cruiser new to Oceania, this is good to know. Thank you for sharing.

[Mura]

I'm not a confrontational type and so I would NEVER go up to a passenger to castigate him/her on attire. (I'd probably love it if someone else did but not if violence ensued!) If it were as was described, I'd probably mention it to the maitre d' who SHOULD have stopped this person at the doorway.

 

Personally I've never noticed really poor attire in the dining rooms at dinner. Of course the GDR is large enough that you don't see everyone in the room, even on the "R"ships. It would be more noticeable in one of the specialty restaurants.

 

I HAVE been asked by newbies at dinner what the dress code was because they noticed that a suit and tie was NOT required but they were wearing them ... Not for long! (Well, they didn't strip immediately ... just were never seen again with that suit jacket and tie again.)

 

Mura

[Sea42]

Sorry, but something like shorts & T shirts on Oceania & most lines at dinner in the MDR IS inappropriate & yes, I will say something! Sometimes you have to appoint yourself, because too many pax(such as yourself) are either too cowardly or just plain don't care. Yes, it DOES matter to me how pax dress(within obvious reason) I don't care to drop several thousand $$ to dine with pax who feel it's their God given right to totally ignore the dress code & then don't give a crap how offensive they may look. Saw a guy on Cunard several years ago who somehow snuck past the Maître D into the dining room dressed in a skanky pair of shorts & a wife beater T shirt. During the day I could have not cared, but it was formal night. Yes, I confronted all 6'-6" of the guy. I told him it was totally inappropriate dress for the evening. He said "whatcha gonna do about it?" I got the Maître D & demanded he have him leave & change. The Maître D booted him out. The area cheered me. I found out from his table mates, he was planning to do this. The group(Brits) were delighted to see him gone. Never saw him in the rest. for the remainder of the cruise. Actually never saw him anywhere on the QM2 after that night. Perhaps that was acceptable for you. For me it wasn't. I just wish more pax would actually have the balls to say something.

Can you not see how your behavior is worse than violating the dress code?