Dress Code for dinner

[MarkieMarkNYC]

Can you not see how your behavior is worse than violating the dress code?

I'm guessing there's quite a bit of exaggeration in his story. It reads more like a self-aggrandizing fantasy.

[LB_NJ]

Sorry, but something like shorts & T shirts on Oceania & most lines at dinner in the MDR IS inappropriate & yes, I will say something! Sometimes you have to appoint yourself, because too many pax(such as yourself) are either too cowardly or just plain don't care. Yes, it DOES matter to me how pax dress(within obvious reason) I don't care to drop several thousand $$ to dine with pax who feel it's their God given right to totally ignore the dress code & then don't give a crap how offensive they may look. Saw a guy on Cunard several years ago who somehow snuck past the Maître D into the dining room dressed in a skanky pair of shorts & a wife beater T shirt. During the day I could have not cared, but it was formal night. Yes, I confronted all 6'-6" of the guy. I told him it was totally inappropriate dress for the evening. He said "whatcha gonna do about it?" I got the Maître D & demanded he have him leave & change. The Maître D booted him out. The area cheered me. I found out from his table mates, he was planning to do this. The group(Brits) were delighted to see him gone. Never saw him in the rest. for the remainder of the cruise. Actually never saw him anywhere on the QM2 after that night. Perhaps that was acceptable for you. For me it wasn't. I just wish more pax would actually have the balls to say something.

 

While I wouldn't say anything to a fellow PAX I might say something to the

Maître D. Inappropriate dress is inappropriate.

[Charles4515]

I'm guessing there's quite a bit of exaggeration in his story. It reads more like a self-aggrandizing fantasy.

 

 

 

I think your right. The story likely is fantasy. I have been on the QM2. Can’t imagine anyone going to dinner in shorts and a wife beater or managing to get into the dining room dressed like that.

[Ken the cruiser]

To be honest both my DW and I could care less what someone is wearing on an O cruise. We're having too much fun eating all their great food to notice. So, to the OP as I mentioned earlier, you're planned attire including those cool looking shoes sounds just fine. We're on the two Cuba cruises before yours, as a 7 day O cruise just isn't long enough for us, and are so looking forward to them!

 

Have a great cruise!!

[Paulchili]

I don’t understand the love affair some have with blue jeans. I never bring them on a cruise for multi reasons. It is what it is however. Same goes with some guys wanting to wear flip flops and calling them sandals.

 

Here is my only point on this issue. The Maitre de is the arbiter of the decision. If they tell you your jeans are not appropriate, then stfu and go change please. No scene and argument about how you feel they are dress jeans not casual. Just stick your tail between your legs and quickly go change without any discourse.

 

Why quickly? Last cruise, we were placed at a sharing table of six with a guy that was rejected for wearing flip flops into Toscana. The five of us were seated, and the staff waited until his return to take our order. And we waited and waited. Finally they took a drink order, and we waited. After about 25 minutes, he reappeared and bitched most of the evening because he couldn’t wear his flip flops( he called them sandals, they were flip flops), and that some of the women were wearing flips flops no better than his. His decision to not follow the guidelines affected all at the table, including his wife!

 

My answer to this is - Welcome to the “new” Oceania.

These types of discussions were not necessary 10 years ago because they didn’t happen - blue jeans & flip flops in MDR or specialties were not an issue. At most people asked if jackets & tie were needed or not.

Ditto for drunken parties and pool belly floppers by insurance agent groups, etc, etc, etc

Edited April 13, 2018 by Paulchili

[harryspotter]

Reading all the comments and having posted one myself, I thought I would be brave and post another.

 

It is obvious some people care more than others. This might be why one person will say they felt the amount of jackets were 85%+ whilst someone else on the same cruise may say less than 40%

 

Our perception is just different. This is why on another thread I asked for photos of people in the restaurants. Not that I felt anyone would be taking specific pictures of others. Just that I thought there may be some people milling around in the background. I was trying to get a wider perception.

 

Some people aren't able to confront head on, others are.

 

You may have heard of the broken window syndrome? If not google it but imagine if you are happy to go to dinner wearing shorts or jeans and you hear stories or see people doing it or getting away with it. At what point will you feel there is an issue? 1% 5% 20% of people dressed like this? Or would you feel ok joining in?

 

For the people getting upset at some posts. It may be because some people feel strongly that after forking out 10k plus that the evenings deserve more respect. On the other hand some will not give two hoots. Great dining opportunities perhaps shouldn't be thought of as what can I get away with but maybe this is my opportunity to feel and wear something special. I am pretty sure the majority of women I have met in my life would jump at the chance of dressing up. Maybe that is just my perception. But the videos and photos and research on cruising I have done plays this out.

 

For instance, I imagine most people won't be happy wearing the same day time clothes they wore to.the evening meals. I'm a jeans and t shirt guy but I wouldn't even contemplate it. However, there will be some who would, perhaps will try and perhaps will get away with it.

 

As far as I can tell, a collared shirt, slacks and shoes for men would be considered the minimum. I am looking forward to wearing a nice jacket. My wife is looking forward to wearing and buying:) some nice dresses.

 

If I saw someone manage to get into a dining room wearing innappropriate gear. I would feel the need to do something about it. Like the other poster who said they approached the man, I can see how that would make sense. Have a quiet word in his lughole rather than making a big deal out of it. But in my book the person would be an idiot turning up like that and you simply can't argue with idiots. Is idiot a strong word? We shall see.

 

In terms of how many others feel that would be the right thing to get this person removed? My perception would be the overwhelming majority. I would just feel I was doing the right thing by educating someone that they can't turn up to a nice restaurant in shorts.

 

There have been some wise cracks on this thread and others about turning up with bibs and pitch forks but if you normally wear that kind of stuff. That is fine. Just not suitable for a cruise probably. Definitely not for dinner. Time to buy slacks and shirts.

 

Wow this is long.

 

I for one want to start a petition for a black tie night.

 

Happy cruising

 

Mark:evilsmile:

[Floridiana]

Mark,

I wouldn't consider it my job as a passenger to address any other passengers about their outfits except to compliment table mates. Clothing is not important enough in the great scheme of a relaxed cruise. My own clothing is clean run of the mill, nobody will remember it.

[ORV]

Reading all the comments and having posted one myself, I thought I would be brave and post another.

 

It is obvious some people care more than others. This might be why one person will say they felt the amount of jackets were 85%+ whilst someone else on the same cruise may say less than 40%

 

Our perception is just different. This is why on another thread I asked for photos of people in the restaurants. Not that I felt anyone would be taking specific pictures of others. Just that I thought there may be some people milling around in the background. I was trying to get a wider perception.

 

Some people aren't able to confront head on, others are.

 

You may have heard of the broken window syndrome? If not google it but imagine if you are happy to go to dinner wearing shorts or jeans and you hear stories or see people doing it or getting away with it. At what point will you feel there is an issue? 1% 5% 20% of people dressed like this? Or would you feel ok joining in?

 

For the people getting upset at some posts. It may be because some people feel strongly that after forking out 10k plus that the evenings deserve more respect. On the other hand some will not give two hoots. Great dining opportunities perhaps shouldn't be thought of as what can I get away with but maybe this is my opportunity to feel and wear something special. I am pretty sure the majority of women I have met in my life would jump at the chance of dressing up. Maybe that is just my perception. But the videos and photos and research on cruising I have done plays this out.

 

For instance, I imagine most people won't be happy wearing the same day time clothes they wore to.the evening meals. I'm a jeans and t shirt guy but I wouldn't even contemplate it. However, there will be some who would, perhaps will try and perhaps will get away with it.

 

As far as I can tell, a collared shirt, slacks and shoes for men would be considered the minimum. I am looking forward to wearing a nice jacket. My wife is looking forward to wearing and buying:) some nice dresses.

 

If I saw someone manage to get into a dining room wearing innappropriate gear. I would feel the need to do something about it. Like the other poster who said they approached the man, I can see how that would make sense. Have a quiet word in his lughole rather than making a big deal out of it. But in my book the person would be an idiot turning up like that and you simply can't argue with idiots. Is idiot a strong word? We shall see.

 

In terms of how many others feel that would be the right thing to get this person removed? My perception would be the overwhelming majority. I would just feel I was doing the right thing by educating someone that they can't turn up to a nice restaurant in shorts.

 

There have been some wise cracks on this thread and others about turning up with bibs and pitch forks but if you normally wear that kind of stuff. That is fine. Just not suitable for a cruise probably. Definitely not for dinner. Time to buy slacks and shirts.

 

Wow this is long.

 

I for one want to start a petition for a black tie night.

 

Happy cruising

 

Mark:evilsmile:

 

A couple of comments, I agree with what you said about perceptions. People see what they want to see.

 

Your statement "

a collared shirt, slacks and shoes for men would be considered the minimum." should read,

Your last statement;

"I for one want to start a petition for a black tie night."

shows that Oceania is probably not the right cruise line for you. Many people cruise Oceania due to the lack of that.

a collared shirt, slacks and shoes for men is basically the standard on Oceania. Anything else is optional and totally okay.

[harryspotter]

A couple of comments, I agree with what you said about perceptions. People see what they want to see.

 

Your statement "

 

a collared shirt, slacks and shoes for men would be considered the minimum." should read,

 

shows that Oceania is probably not the right cruise line for you. Many people cruise Oceania due to the lack of that.

a collared shirt, slacks and shoes for men is basically the standard on Oceania. Anything else is optional and totally okay.

 

Your last statement;



 

"I for one want to start a petition for a black tie night."

 

Thanks Orv. I'm not sure if it is standard. Either the dress sense changes on cruises, which could happen or it pretty much stays the same and we all see what we see differently as you say. Some say jackets on men are popular? I am on my first O cruise in August and what I hope to do if I remember and more importantly, if my wife let me is to take some generic restaurant scene photos, just to capture the essence. I have searched high and low and can't find many. Thing is, this is one of the MOST popular questions and if I can answer it with a collage of photos from different restaurants, I think it will be a very good indicator and helpful and may even be an eye opener for some. On the other hand, it may be a complete waste of time too. I am hoping to find the rare lesser dressed short wearing, wife beater t shirt man too, may get his autograph if I am really lucky.

 

 

Of course, may just get turfed off the ship :)

 

 

There were many reasons for choosing the O cruise, but not having a formal night for me was a big minus. It may be that O cruises aren't for us, until we have sampled others I couldn't say. I do feel though that we are an easy going couple and I have done a lot of research, I am looking forward to the cruise big time. Bit worried about bursting out of my slacks, but not too worried:)

[LHT28]

Harry

If you want to wear Black tie to dinner feel free but you will be in the minority

I have seen Tuxes & ballgowns on Oceania but very few

I do not really dto a survey in the restaurants to see how many men wear jackets/suits/ties some cruises you may see some

most return cruisers do not bother for the most part to even pack a jacket

 

DH has not brought one for the past several cruises

 

Some do feel under dressed without one & they will bring one

There is no right or wrong way

if you prefer a jacket, suit, or full penguin suit go for it

JMO

[jo-b]

We have seen DJs & bow ties once on an O cruise it was a group of 4 and they had evidently decided to have their own formal night. No one batted an eyelid.

My OH bought a very natty bow tie in Bar Harbour a few years back and as it matched a jacket he had with him he wore it to dinner that night, and got so many compliments it really turned his head :-)

We are joining a cruise next week so I will try and take a few discreet photos

[ORV]

Harry, let me ask you this. When you say you would like a black tie night are you just concerned for yourself or would you like to see everyone dressed that way?

[Paulchili]

A couple of comments, I agree with what you said about perceptions. People see what they want to see.

 

Your statement "

 

a collared shirt, slacks and shoes for men would be considered the minimum." should read,

 

shows that Oceania is probably not the right cruise line for you. Many people cruise Oceania due to the lack of that.

a collared shirt, slacks and shoes for men is basically the standard on Oceania. Anything else is optional and totally okay.

 

Your last statement;



 

"I for one want to start a petition for a black tie night."

 

ORV,

As is often the case I completely agree with you again.

If Mark is looking for a cruise line with formal nights, there are several of those but Oceania thankfully is not one of them.

[harryspotter]

We have seen DJs & bow ties once on an O cruise it was a group of 4 and they had evidently decided to have their own formal night. No one batted an eyelid.

My OH bought a very natty bow tie in Bar Harbour a few years back and as it matched a jacket he had with him he wore it to dinner that night, and got so many compliments it really turned his head :-)

We are joining a cruise next week so I will try and take a few discreet photos

Hi Jo-b,

 

I don't know if you need your pictures to be discreet, just go table to table in the name of research. I am sure they won't mind...

 

What did you wear when he wore his bow tie?

 

Mark

[LHT28]

Hi Jo-b,

 

I don't know if you need your pictures to be discreet, just go table to table in the name of research. I am sure they won't mind...

 

Mark

people might as that is another plus for Oceania

 

no annoying photographers :halo:

[harryspotter]

Harry, let me ask you this. When you say you would like a black tie night are you just concerned for yourself or would you like to see everyone dressed that way?

 

Hi Orv, I must admit, before I started to look into cruises, I would have assumed all cruises would have held a formal night. I was really surprised to see that a cruise firm like O, didn't! Is that strange?

 

Because my children are grown up and won't be on this cruise, I looked for cruises with the least amount of children. Oceania therefore came into my sights. I liked everything about it, but though it was really odd that they didn't hold a formal night. I have listened to the owner and his reasons behind it, but I do also wonder whether there would be a group of O clientele who would want to wear black tie for one night?

 

So, like me, who liked everything else, but would just want that one more thing.

 

I wouldn't want to be alone. But what if, there was at least 10 people? We could hire Privee! How do I find those 10 people? There are only 27 people on my roll call so I can't see that working.

 

You know that it is unlikely to tick every single box for something that we want. In this instance, I have one box unticked, but many ticked. I can easily live with that.

 

Whilst typing though, I wonder this -

 

We don't often get the chance to don black ties. Personally, I like doing this, so, do other people not like it?

 

Mark

[pinotlover]

I’d have no problem with a single formal night. Have it in the GDR, disperse the Captain and his Senior Staff throughout the tables. Bring in the String Quartets for enjoyment. Nothing mandatory, letting those not wishing to take part eat that the other multiple dining options. Advertise well in advance the precise evening for the formal dining event so all passengers can prepare as they see fit.

 

It would be an additional dining option. Why should anyone oppose? Anyone other than those whose spouse wants to attend and they don’t! LOL!

[MarkieMarkNYC]

We don't often get the chance to don black ties. Personally, I like doing this, so, do other people not like it?

 

Mark

 

I’d have no problem with a single formal night. Have it in the GDR, disperse the Captain and his Senior Staff throughout the tables. Bring in the String Quartets for enjoyment. Nothing mandatory, letting those not wishing to take part eat that the other multiple dining options. Advertise well in advance the precise evening for the formal dining event so all passengers can prepare as they see fit.

 

It would be an additional dining option. Why should anyone oppose? Anyone other than those whose spouse wants to attend and they don’t! LOL!

 

I'm confused. Is there something preventing either of you from choosing another cruise line that caters mostly to adults and requires formal attire?

Part of Oceania's appeal is the more relaxed dress code. For those of us who like that, it means less to pack, schlep, and don.

I have traveled on Cunard a number of times and packed a tux, a couple of sports coats, various ties, etc. It was fine but to me it felt like a hassle. I'm glad to have an option that still feels relatively upscale without the strict formalities.

Go check out the Cunard board. There's a large thread addressing concerns that their dress code may be relaxed.

The clutching of pearls and grabbing of smelling salts is a sight to behold.

[pinotlover]

Mark;

 

I’m confused! I clearly said it would be only one night, and attendance would be 100% optional. If on didn’t want to attend, they could eat at any of the other dining venues with their regular dress codes. Why does that scare you so? In your case you’d schlep nothing because you didn’t want to attend. Zero burden on you!

[Mura]

people might as that is another plus for Oceania

 

no annoying photographers :halo:

 

True, but he won't be trying to sell them to the diners ... he wants photos for his personal collection.

If discreet enough, they won't notice ...

[MarkieMarkNYC]

Mark;

 

I’m confused! I clearly said it would be only one night, and attendance would be 100% optional. If on didn’t want to attend, they could eat at any of the other dining venues with their regular dress codes. Why does that scare you so? In your case you’d schlep nothing because you didn’t want to attend. Zero burden on you!

What in my post suggested I was "scared"?

Apparently you don't seem to understand that one can dress formally if one chooses. If you are frightened of doing this without others around you in similar attire, you might consider another company.

[Ken the cruiser]

I for one would NOT like a formal night and that's one of the many reasons why we like cruising with Oceania. Why would I? We're on vacation. There is great food every night. Why would I want to play dress-up on a cruise? Now, if you want to play dress-up, knock yourself out. Just don't tell me I have to. The last thing I want to do is pack a coat and fancy shirt so I can go to some stupid formal night which serves no functional purpose other than to say to other people "look how pretty I am". No thank you.

[riffatsea]

My husband wore a suit and tie every day when he was working. Not what he is retired he NEVER wears them and NEVER wants to wear them! No he would not want any formal night where people get into tuxes etc. I don't think he's every wanted to dress like that anywhere.

This is a vacation. IF you want to have a fancy dress evening where folks get into "costumes" then a tux night might work for some but not for all! Why should we be banned from a venue just because the "few" want to dress in this fancy way??

[docmark]

I am really amazed how people TRY to be argumentative and sound "insulted" when some one makes a statement on this board, "wishing" for ONE "different" thing or a small change....

 

- If I remember right,Ken the Cruiser has always praised "the buffet" and how much he enjoys it ,so why would you be bothered if there was one formal night at GDR?

 

- Harry has said he likes A LOT of things about Oceania,and WISHES there was a formal night ,he did NOT say it HAS to be there, so why are you (MARK) suggesting he should go to another cruise line.. it is not up to any of us to tell others to go somewhere else.... don't act like you have "ownership" .. ,

[Mura]

I don't think any of us who don't like formal nights are exactly frightened of them! On our first Renaissance cruise (no formal nights of course, it was the same policy as Oceania's) we saw four couples traveling together who were in formal gowns. DH and I just smiled at the sight. They looked great and were having a wonderful time. Just because we didn't want to do the same didn't mean we couldn't enjoy seeing people who did!

 

It does seem from comments I've seen over the years that at least a fair number of people here seem to think that because there are no formal nights, therefore no one dresses up -- or no one CAN dress up if they wish. Of course they can!

 

It's also true that on ships with formal nights there are always other options. Like the buffet. We took advantage of that a couple of nights for sure.

 

It was my impression from our two QE2 cruises that it was far easier for women than men ... on our first QE2 cruise -- 14 days, NY to the Caribbean and back -- there were only two nights where the gentlemen did *not* have to wear suits and ties. For women the code was far more relaxed. Pants suits were okay. Casual long skirts or pants were fine. On those cruises I wore pretty much what I wear on Oceania at dinner.

 

But as has been said ... we just don't want to have to lug all the formal gear and accessories. We weren't on a cruise at the time but back in 1977 I was entered in an opera competition and had to bring along a formal gown just in case I was in the finals (I wasn't!) and the gown and shoes and everything else I needed practically made up a second suitcase. It was a royal pain. Especially when I didn't need them!!

 

Mura