Disparity between how the woman dresses and the man for formal nights

[clo]

I recently saw a photo from a cruise where the woman was beautifully dressed in a full length, formal gown.  And her husband had on jeans and a plaid shirt. Twenty-five years ago we moved from San Francisco to a smallish town in Oregon.  I saw this a lot.  Women all dressed up and the man like described above.  What's up with that?

[Ginner 60]

It's a sign of the times. Some people have little class. If his wife or partner doesn't mind why should you.  Oh well live and let live. I'm just glad they are not traveling with me.

 

[GUT2407]

If it doesn’t worry her, why should it worry me??

 

i wish lines would either do away with dress codes or enforce them. Personally I’d like to see enforcement,  but if a couple dress to different standards that’s there business.

[clo]

1 minute ago, GUT2407 said:

If it doesn’t worry her, why should it worry me??

 

i wish lines would either do away with dress codes or enforce them. Personally I’d like to see enforcement,  but if a couple dress to different standards that’s there business.

Very true.  But 🙂  We live a very casual life style with few occasions to really dress up.  But we kinda check in with each other as to what we're wearing.  I just think it's a tad weird.  And, yes, it's certainly up to the individuals.  But what causes it???

 

And I agree with you re dress codes, doubting we'll ever travel on a ship that has true formal nights.  But some years ago when we did a man entered the dining room in something like madras pants and a wrinkled golf shirt.  Yes, avert your eyes but it does kinda affect the atmosphere of the venue/occasion.  Color me old.

[GUT2407]

1 hour ago, clo said:

Very true.  But 🙂  We live a very casual life style with few occasions to really dress up.  But we kinda check in with each other as to what we're wearing.  I just think it's a tad weird.  And, yes, it's certainly up to the individuals.  But what causes it???

 

And I agree with you re dress codes, doubting we'll ever travel on a ship that has true formal nights.  But some years ago when we did a man entered the dining room in something like madras pants and a wrinkled golf shirt.  Yes, avert your eyes but it does kinda affect the atmosphere of the venue/occasion.  Color me old.

No arguments from me, but I know. A few “odd” couples, many probably consider me and Mrs Gut too be a bit of a miss match.

[clo]

9 minutes ago, GUT2407 said:

No arguments from me, but I know. A few “odd” couples, many probably consider me and Mrs Gut too be a bit of a miss match.

Let me ask if I understand what you're saying.  So you and Mrs Gut dress sometimes like I described?  If so, why?  I'm not saying you're not 'entitled' to dress however you want.  But if one of a couple is all dressed up and the other is 180 degrees from that, I just wonder why?

[GUT2407]

5 minutes ago, clo said:

Let me ask if I understand what you're saying.  So you and Mrs Gut dress sometimes like I described?  If so, why?  I'm not saying you're not 'entitled' to dress however you want.  But if one of a couple is all dressed up and the other is 180 degrees from that, I just wonder why?

No we normally wouldn’t, but a miss match in many other ways, my mum and dad on the other hand would, mum likes to dress up, dad was bush born and bred, I think he has only owned one suit in his life.

[pacruise804]

My husband and I will dress up for dinner, but after dinner he changes into more comfortable clothes while my dress is often more comfortable for me than changing back into capris.  It doesn't bother either of us to be at different levels of casual/formal dress.

 

DH has to dress up everyday for work, while I am a homemaker and usually in more casual clothes for tasks around the house or volunteering at our children's school.  I embrace the opportunity to "dress fancy" for a week, while my husband appreciates the chance to "dress down."  

 

Does that make sense?

[Lady Chew]

On 6/20/2019 at 9:23 PM, clo said:

Let me ask if I understand what you're saying.  So you and Mrs Gut dress sometimes like I described?  If so, why?  I'm not saying you're not 'entitled' to dress however you want.  But if one of a couple is all dressed up and the other is 180 degrees from that, I just wonder why?

 

SOmetimes one of us (Mr Chew) will be having dinner in the Lido/Windjammer/whatever and the other (me) will be having dinner in the MDR or one of the specialities.  

[clo]

2 minutes ago, Lady Chew said:

 

SOmetimes one of us (Mr Chew) will be having dinner in the Lido/Windjammer/whatever and the other (me) will be having dinner in the MDR or one of the specialities.  

Oh, well, that totally makes sense.  Does he prefer the more casual ambiance or the particular kind of food?  We're going to be Oceania in December and the most dressed up is smart casual or country club casual.  So for the men a pair of Docker-type pants and a decent shirt is totally fine.  If we were going to be in a cold climate he might take a blazer/jacket but since it will be summer in Brazil, uh no 🙂

[Lady Chew]

22 hours ago, clo said:

Oh, well, that totally makes sense.  Does he prefer the more casual ambiance or the particular kind of food?  We're going to be Oceania in December and the most dressed up is smart casual or country club casual.  So for the men a pair of Docker-type pants and a decent shirt is totally fine.  If we were going to be in a cold climate he might take a blazer/jacket but since it will be summer in Brazil, uh no 🙂

 

Mr Chew does prefer the more casual ambiance (for example, he'd say "atmosphere" rather than "ambiance") and the food served.  He does not like all of the fancy sauces & additions that come with food in the MDR.  He doesn't like anyone fiddling with his silverware or trying to put on his napkin!   He doesn't like 2-hr dinners, which frequently happens in the MDR.

 

On another note, he dresses the same in the Lido/WJ as he does in the MDR - nice slacks with a nice polo shirt, no patterns or logos.  I like getting a little more dressed up, so I do.  

[LandlockedCruiser01]

20 hours ago, fyree39 said:

I think women tend to enjoy dressing up more than men. And if the couple is fine with looking mismatched, then so am I.

In my opinion, it's not so much about "enjoying", as about the comfort level of men's and women's dressy clothes, especially in warm climates.  Women's dressy clothes, ranging from a sun dress to an evening gown, are generally light and comfortable on the body.  They don't get heavy and restrictive until you get to the black tie level, which cruise lines don't require, with a possible exception of Cunard.

 

Men's dressy clothes, on the other hand, are quite heavy.  Even business casual dress shirts can feel restrictive and hot, even more so in a warm room.  Add a tie, and it feels hot around the neck.  Add a jacket/blazer, and doing anything beyond sitting still or walking to the restroom feels clunky.  Wear a tuxedo, and it feels downright stifling.  So while I don't agree with the crassness of wearing jeans and a T-shirt to a nice, dressy event, I don't really blame a man for doing so in the first place.

 

Edited June 28, 2019 by LandlockedCruiser01

[2BACRUISER]

I think the OP is referring to a photograph of my DH & me here 

The reason being is thats a formal as my husband gets, he works in construction and doesnt do dressing up, he only owns one suit for weddings and funerals! I on the other hand love formal but we chose a cruise that only had one moderately formal night, even on the other nights he dressed that way whilst i wore cocktail dresses or pants and sparkly tops. Its a compromise which we can both be happy with, on the same cruise i saw couples much the same as us. Her dressed to the nines and him more casual. hth OP x

[MissP22]

I look at it this way.

If I want to cruise at all, I'll let the DH do as he pleases otherwise if I insist on him dressing formally, no-one cruises and we're both miserable.

This way we both choose how to dress. 

[cb at sea]

If I'm going "all out", then so is hubby!  It's just the way it should be, and for us, it is!

[MissP22]

30 minutes ago, cb at sea said:

If I'm going "all out", then so is hubby!  It's just the way it should be, and for us, it is!

Does he obey willingly? 

[c-boy]

I'm thinking that like yourself and MrP99 there's a compromise. 

[MissP22]

It's sad to think that one has to compromise comfort to please another. 

Each person should be able to decide for themselves what is appropriate within the guidelines that Princess suggests. 

[c-boy]

yes, very sad indeed. When life hands you 🍋's, make lemonaid. 

[grod19]

11 hours ago, MissP22 said:

It's sad to think that one has to compromise comfort to please another. 

Each person should be able to decide for themselves what is appropriate within the guidelines that Princess suggests. 

Properly fitting dress clothes can be as comfortable as jeans and a polo, however for most people some alterations might be necessary.  

 

Dress shoes can be the exception, give me the sneakers over the dress shoes any day.

 

[clo]

On 7/17/2019 at 8:40 AM, MissP22 said:

Does he obey willingly? 

Not cb but obey doesn't figure into it with us, at home or traveling.  We tend to dress compatibly.

[clo]

3 minutes ago, grod19 said:

Dress shoes can be the exception, give me the sneakers over the dress shoes any day.

 

Bob no longer has real "dress shoes," like lace-up black, wear with a suit shoes.  But he has nice, slip-on, with a sheen shoes.  Super comfortable.  Like this:

[MissP22]

That's what I keep telling my DH but he insists on his comfortable crocks.

What can you do? 

 

[clo]

7 hours ago, MissP22 said:

That's what I keep telling my DH but he insists on his comfortable crocks.

What can you do? 

 

Well, IMneverHO, those look like bedroom slippers 🙂