The Daily for Sunday 05/22/2022

[Horizon chaser 1957]

@kazuIm so sorry you had to deal with that level of insensitivity. Some people have no idea what to say and don’t realize that the best option is to stop talking.
In the reception line at my fathers funeral, an old family friend clasped my mother’s hand and asked if he could have my Dad’s ham radio equipment since she certainly wouldn’t need it. 
Similar to the experiences of @dfish and @Cruzin Terri, I think someone who needs to be weeded out of your life just identified themselves to you. 

[Vict0riann]

Good morning, Dailyites.   I am sorry for those ailing or having surgery, for some people's insensitivity, storms, monkeypox, war, it seems like things are not getting better in this world of ours.   Today is DD's birthday, she is 58, I must have had her when I was 10!  She has ordered Pad Thai for dinner, no cake after.    She spent yesterday planting about 50 dahlia corms, finally my living room window sill is clear .  She also set up her deer scarer.  Yikes!

 

 

 

[puppycanducruise]

@Cruising-along Happy Birthday to your DGS!🎂

 

@Vict0riannHappy Birthday to your DD! 🎂

[JazzyV]

Good afternoon. Thanks for the Daily.

I won't be buying a musical instrument; I still have my childhood piano. A salute to mariners. Not a goth fan. A very true quote, from a favorite book.

I'll pass on the meal, drink and wine (sounds good but too $$$).

I've never been to Fiji. Thanks for any photos to come.

 

Another warm and humid day here. I didn't get any bad storms yesterday. There is rain forecast for later. I hope we get some, as I seeded some bare spots in the lawn.

 

@puppycanducruise I heard about the storms in Ontario and loss of life; sad.

@ottahand7 Sad about the loss of life from storms. Enjoy your summer at the cabin.

@kazu Sorry to hear of the insensitive comments from your acquaintance; some people just don't have a clue.

@rafinmd Enjoy your cruising and thanks for the lists. Also following your live thread!

@Cat in my lap Best wishes for successful surgery for your DH.

@marshhawk I hope next week's work is better, and that the headache leaves quickly.

@Cruzin Terri No fun to still be experiencing that fatigue. Take it easy and hopefully with time you'll be back to your usual energy level. Some of it may be related to your decreased food intake; I hope you can eat more soon. Hoping all goes well with DH's surgery on Tuesday.

@smitty34877 Prayers for easier days for you all.

@Heartgrove Good to hear that your brother is doing better and that your SIL tested negative finally.

@StLouisCruisers Thanks for the pictures of Sadie! Continued prayers for Buddy and Jen.

@Seasick Sailor I hope you and Allen stay well.

@aliaschief It sounds like you're having a grand time now and with trips to come.

@ger_77 Scary and unnerving about seeing that person on the security camera! Get some rest.

@Cruising-along Happy Birthday to the DGSs!

@Vict0riann Happy Birthday to your DD!

 

Prayers for the Care List and Ukraine. A toast to the Celebration List.

Stay safe everyone.

 

Edited May 22, 2022 by JazzyV

[rafinmd]

Today's sunrise really is today, taken from Deck 12 Aft on Adventure of the Seas somewhat midway between Bayonne and Bermuda.

 

 

Roy

[grapau27]

2 hours ago, Cruising-along said:

Good morning all!

We're finally getting some nice weather here after all the rain and cooler than usual temperatures for May.  Today will be sunny and 70 F, perfect for the DGSs birthday party at an outdoor pool.  I'm sure that sounds cold to our Dailyites down south and Florida, but the boys don't care and I'm just glad it isn't raining. 😄

 

No musical instruments here, my late sister was the musical daughter RIP.  Cheers to Maritime Day!  Will pass on Goth, the wine, drink and meal today.  Have never been to Fiji, and this Fiji port isn't on our itinerary for the Grand Australia.

 

@Cruzin TerriI hope you start to feel better soon.

@Cat in my lapprayers your DH has a successful outpatient surgery.

@kazuit sounds to me that your acquaintance suffers from "Open mouth insert foot" disease.  Very insensitive.

 

 

 

Happy birthday to your grandson.

[grapau27]

1 hour ago, Vict0riann said:

Good morning, Dailyites.   I am sorry for those ailing or having surgery, for some people's insensitivity, storms, monkeypox, war, it seems like things are not getting better in this world of ours.   Today is DD's birthday, she is 58, I must have had her when I was 10!  She has ordered Pad Thai for dinner, no cake after.    She spent yesterday planting about 50 dahlia corms, finally my living room window sill is clear .  She also set up her deer scarer.  Yikes!

 

IMG_0267.MOV 12.74 MB · 6 downloads  

 

 

Happy 58th birthday to your daughter Ann.

Graham.

 

[summer slope]

Happy Birthday to those celebrating today, safe travels to those enjoying.  I woke up angry this morning.  We had a power failure for 3 hrs. last night and the generator is right outside the bedroom window.  I'm sure I didn't sleep well.  Have stayed away from everyone as I don't want to upset anyone.  Jacqui, those are the people you do not need to be around.

Prayers and toasts to our lists.

Stay safe everyone.

[kochleffel]

And here's today's sunset, from the stern of the Norwegian Jade, off the coast of Greece.

[irishjim]

1 hour ago, grapau27 said:

Happy birthday to your grandson.

+1

[irishjim]

59 minutes ago, grapau27 said:

Happy 58th birthday to your daughter Ann.

Graham.

 

+1

[Quartzsite Cruiser]

After a busy day yesterday, I'm taking today a little easier.  We did a quick grocery run this morning.  I'm now sitting outside with my book.  While we're having cooler weather, tonight's dinner will be homemade pizza.

 

@Heartgrove  It sounds like your DB is improving.  Hope he recovers soon.  Good news that your DSIL has tested negative and is out of quarantine.

@Seasick Sailor  Joy, sorry to read about the covid cases in your neighborhood.  Hope you and Allan stay well.

@aliaschief  Glad you are having a good time with the family.  Safe travels tomorrow.

@Vict0riann  Ann,  HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your daughter.

@ger_77  Gerry, I hope you both get a better night's sleep tonight.

 

Since this morning, I've been thinking about what @kazu Jacqui's acquaintance said.  Sometimes people need to stop and think about how what they think will be comforting will be received by those grieving.  When my mother died after battling MS for 16 years, one lady wrote in her condolence card something to the affect that my mother was probably ready to die.  This greatly upset my father, and his comment was, "She did not want to die".  What may sound right to some can be received differently.  I've learned over the years that while it may not seem enough to us, in what we do say to those grieving sometimes less is more.  Just knowing someone cares is enough.

 

Lenda

 

 

 

 

 

 

[kazu]

4 hours ago, Vict0riann said:

  Today is DD's birthday, she is 58, I must have had her when I was 10!  She has ordered Pad Thai for dinner, no cake after.

 

A very happy birthday to your DD, Ann 

 

 

4 hours ago, Vict0riann said:

 

   She spent yesterday planting about 50 dahlia corms, finally my living room window sill is clear .  She also set up her deer scarer.  Yikes!

 

Does that deer scarer really work?  Or is this the first year you have tried it?

 

I’d be tempted to try it except i’d need 5 of them out front 😂 

 

[grapau27]

55 minutes ago, Quartzsite Cruiser said:

After a busy day yesterday, I'm taking today a little easier.  We did a quick grocery run this morning.  I'm now sitting outside with my book.  While we're having cooler weather, tonight's dinner will be homemade pizza.

 

@Heartgrove  It sounds like your DB is improving.  Hope he recovers soon.  Good news that your DSIL has tested negative and is out of quarantine.

@Seasick Sailor  Joy, sorry to read about the covid cases in your neighborhood.  Hope you and Allan stay well.

@aliaschief  Glad you are having a good time with the family.  Safe travels tomorrow.

@Vict0riann  Ann,  HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your daughter.

@ger_77  Gerry, I hope you both get a better night's sleep tonight.

 

Since this morning, I've been thinking about what @kazu Jacqui's acquaintance said.  Sometimes people need to stop and think about how what they think will be comforting will be received by those grieving.  When my mother died after battling MS for 16 years, one lady wrote in her condolence card something to the affect that my mother was probably ready to die.  This greatly upset my father, and his comment was, "She did not want to die".  What may sound right to some can be received differently.  I've learned over the years that while it may not seem enough to us, in what we do say to those grieving sometimes less is more.  Just knowing someone cares is enough.

 

Lenda

 

 

 

 

 

 

I agree Lenda.

We usually say we are sorry and if there is anything we can do we are here for you.

Graham.

 

[kazu]

58 minutes ago, Quartzsite Cruiser said:

Since this morning, I've been thinking about what @kazu Jacqui's acquaintance said.  Sometimes people need to stop and think about how what they think will be comforting will be received by those grieving.  When my mother died after battling MS for 16 years, one lady wrote in her condolence card something to the affect that my mother was probably ready to die.  This greatly upset my father, and his comment was, "She did not want to die".  What may sound right to some can be received differently.  I've learned over the years that while it may not seem enough to us, in what we do say to those grieving sometimes less is more.  Just knowing someone cares is enough.

 

Bolding is mine.  Thanks Lenda and well said.  Sorry about the thoughtless note your father got 😢 

 

I think the worst one I got so far is “well at least you had 5 1/2 months to prepare for this”.  I was livid and retorted back - I was preparing for a nursing home not death.  There was no prognosis of death.

 

some people are just a$$hats, sadly.  I just need to grow tougher skin, I guess.  But seriously, so many people have been kind - I can’t let two bad apples spoil the barrel.

[smitty34877]

1 hour ago, kazu said:

 

Bolding is mine.  Thanks Lenda and well said.  Sorry about the thoughtless note your father got 😢 

 

I think the worst one I got so far is “well at least you had 5 1/2 months to prepare for this”.  I was livid and retorted back - I was preparing for a nursing home not death.  There was no prognosis of death.

 

some people are just a$$hats, sadly.  I just need to grow tougher skin, I guess.  But seriously, so many people have been kind - I can’t let two bad apples spoil the barrel.

Holy smokes.I don't  know how you even managed  to reply to something  so asinine. We have heard some truly  awful remarks from people who hear about Tana's  situation.Sometimes I have just walked away. I am sorry this happened to you. 

[lazey1]

1 hour ago, kazu said:

 

 

 

I think the worst one I got so far is “well at least you had 5 1/2 months to prepare for this”.  I was livid and retorted back - I was preparing for a nursing home not death.  There was no prognosis of death.

 

some people are just a$$hats, sadly.  I just need to grow tougher skin, I guess.  But seriously, so many people have been kind - I can’t let two bad apples spoil the barrel.

What a terrible thing to say to someone who has lost a loved one. Whether the loss was expected or not makes no difference. It Hurts!!

You don't need to grow tougher skin; they need to learn how to respect someone who is grieving. 

Jane

[irishjim]

6 minutes ago, lazey1 said:

What a terrible thing to say to someone who has lost a loved one. Whether the loss was expected or not makes no difference. It Hurts!!

You don't need to grow tougher skin; they need to learn how to respect someone who is grieving. 

Jane

+1

[kazu]

12 minutes ago, smitty34877 said:

Holy smokes.I don't  know how you even managed  to reply to something  so asinine. We have heard some truly  awful remarks from people who hear about Tana's  situation.Sometimes I have just walked away. I am sorry this happened to you. 

 

I am so sorry you had to endure that about Tana.  I didn’t walk away.  I was fuming, hurt and mad.  I can be pretty blunt at times and I was.

But, again, I have had so many kind people - I have to try to not let these people influence me even though we all know it does. 😔 

 

4 minutes ago, lazey1 said:

What a terrible thing to say to someone who has lost a loved one. Whether the loss was expected or not makes no difference. It Hurts!!

You don't need to grow tougher skin; they need to learn how to respect someone who is grieving. 

Jane

 

Bless you.  I wish I had thought of our statement when I replied.  I’m not good a thinking though some days.  

 

Sorry, I didn’t mean to be a complainer or try to hijack the thread 😬. Apologies.

[Vict0riann]

1 hour ago, kazu said:

 

A very happy birthday to your DD, Ann 

 

 

 

Does that deer scarer really work?  Or is this the first year you have tried it?

 

I’d be tempted to try it except i’d need 5 of them out front 😂 

 

Last year, DD Sheila rigged up one of those water-sprayer things to combat the deer, but after soaking a couple of the neighbours, she decided this would be safer.  She organized it last year(it needs electricity and a motion sensor set up), so this year it didn’t take too much work to get it going.   I’ll let you know if the dahlias stay safe.

 

This morning on the way to church, we saw a doe with what must have been a newborn fawn.  It was about the size of a cat.

[irishjim]

1 hour ago, kazu said:

 

Bolding is mine.  Thanks Lenda and well said.  Sorry about the thoughtless note your father got 😢 

 

I think the worst one I got so far is “well at least you had 5 1/2 months to prepare for this”.  I was livid and retorted back - I was preparing for a nursing home not death.  There was no prognosis of death.

 

some people are just a$$hats, sadly.  I just need to grow tougher skin, I guess.  But seriously, so many people have been kind - I can’t let two bad apples spoil the barrel.

just  a  thought  does  anyone  think those  folk should  be  banned

from  this site or  would  that  be  to  harsh. Just my  humble op.

[Cruzin Terri]

First of all @Vict0riann Happy Birthday.

@kazuand @smitty34877 I can understand how these remarks hurt.  

I shared the facebook remark, which hurt deeply, from someone whom I expected much more.

But as with Smitty, I understand the remarks about Tana.  My brother-in-law was mentally challenged and because of that we did not have many friends.  We were not invited to parties or other events because people do not know how to react around people who are “different”.  That hurt a lot.

We were asked over and over, why we did not place him in an institution.  Doesn’t this hurt your marriage? Isn’t this a burden?  Etc, etc.  

How do you answer these questions?  You just walk away because these people are not worth it.

You just weed out those who are sensitive to your situation and those who will never understand, whether it is caregiving or grieving—until it happens to them.

My prayers to both of you. 

Terri

[bennybear]

Very late today,  so sorry to hear about the awful comments @kazu @smitty34877@dfish@Cruzin Terri  This is not highjacking!  It’s sharing and caring.    People can be thoughtless and sometimes  downright mean,    I try to live by the golden rule.     When my brother died at 30 a minister told my mom,  that it was gods will because of his divorce,  a year later his daughter died. I was very disappointed in my old friend who didn’t even call when my mom died,  Facebook doesn’t cut it!  
 

Appreciate the kindness of those on here, the cute memes that bring a smile from many of you. I know looking up these special memes takes effort, so thanks for finding such different ones.  Also thanks to those who multiquote,  I really appreciate it as it makes it so much easier to read.   
 

@Cruzin Terrihope you feel better soon,  hope your DH does well with surgery. 
 

take care all! 

 

 

 

[USN59-79]

Today was the first real Spring day we have had this year.  Finally put on a short sleeved shirt after doing some outside work today.

@Heartgrove mentioned his brother's Parkinson's and also his Coast Guard service.  You don't normally think of Coast Guard sailors serving in Vietnam, but I remember working on large and old Coast Guard boats when serving on a Navy repair ship in Vietnam in 1970 and 1972.  Not sure if he served there, but recently Parkinson's Disease is a disease that the VA says was caused by Agent Orange for those who were there at that time.  I am aware of this as my leukemia was probably caused by the same thing.

I understand Jacqui @kazu's feelings about an insensitive comment.  Most of us are never taught how to respond to another person's grief.  We often repeat platitudes that we heard from church or from funerals we have attended.  I think she should give the person a pass - he or she didn't mean to be insensitive; it just came out that way.  

Ray

[Quartzsite Cruiser]

3 hours ago, kazu said:

 

Bolding is mine.  Thanks Lenda and well said.  Sorry about the thoughtless note your father got 😢 

 

I think the worst one I got so far is “well at least you had 5 1/2 months to prepare for this”.  I was livid and retorted back - I was preparing for a nursing home not death.  There was no prognosis of death.

 

some people are just a$$hats, sadly.  I just need to grow tougher skin, I guess.  But seriously, so many people have been kind - I can’t let two bad apples spoil the barrel.

 

 

Jacqui, thank you for your kind words. Before I knew better, I'm afraid I probably said the wrong or insensitive thing for which I am truly sorry.  Now, I try to avoid platitudes or cliches, so not to inflict more pain.  From experience, I know however much time you have tp prepare for a loved one's death, you  are never really ready or prepared.

 

Lenda