Interacting as a Solo cruiser

[HealthCraig]

I know, I know. This sounds so pathetic, but I just got off a 4 night cruise on RCI Independence. It was my first solo cruise. I want to preface by saying I had fun and would do it again. However, the longer I was on board, the more lonely I felt. Again, I know that sounds pathetic. I’m not the type of person who’s afraid to talk to strangers, but I did have a hard time trying to make conversation. It seemed everyone around me were with family and/or friends, which is what I expected. I even went to different mingling activities, all of which were duds. No one showed. So, what are some tips you all suggest to combat the weird feeling of being alone while surrounded by thousands of people? I’ve got another solo cruise coming up in a few months and now I’m nervous if this happening again. 

[RW75]

Smokers are generally very social and I always find non smokers finding their way to smoking areas. 

[JsMom2]

Pre COVID they usually sat singles together in the dining room.  But since last August I’ve been at a table by myself.  I must admit I got used to it real quick and love the extra attention!  Going to the poolside activities and game shows is a good way to see the same people again and again which helps. 
 

I’ve found I do get lonely on the Oasis class ships on Royal.  But love sailing solo on Celebrity. 

[Cruisercl]

I'll put my experience here too. OP, it is not you.

 

RCL, IMHO, is not good for solo travelers.

I was on the Allure and ran into the same things you did. People were rude at times, not sure why.

My cabin steward yelled at me for not leaving my cabin when he thought I should.....what?

I also went to meet-ups planned on CC and no one showed.

I have cruised on other lines and nothing this extreme happened; there were always nice people to talk to.

As a solo traveler, again IMHO, we do not expect to attach ourselves to others but no reason to be rude.

So sorry this happened to you too.

Safe sailing!!

[rkacruiser]

For those solo cruisers who have gone to pre-scheduled activities either just for solos or for anyone and no one else came, I understand your disappointment.  Once, I arranged for an informal M&G (not enough interest before the cruise to ask the cruise line for a formal one).  Despite the "interest" that was expressed on the cruise's Roll Call, no one showed.  So, what?  I waited in the area for about 30 minutes; then, left and enjoyed the rest of the day.

 

My best tip for solo cruisers, if you wish to have a conversation with someone, is to sit at the bar.  It is almost impossible not to be able to have a conversation with other guests and/or the bartenders.  

[Elaine5715]

I saw on Carnival Mardi Gras that they put in "Independent Cruisers" instead of "Solo" or "Single" for the meet up in the Funtimes.  

I agree with sitting at the bar.  At the parties, if I want conversation, I take a table and sit at one end then when a friendly looking group seems to be looking for a place, I wave an invitation to join me.  When I don't, I take a small table and my book.    

[Cruisercl]

4 hours ago, rkacruiser said:

For those solo cruisers who have gone to pre-scheduled activities either just for solos or for anyone and no one else came, I understand your disappointment.  Once, I arranged for an informal M&G (not enough interest before the cruise to ask the cruise line for a formal one).  Despite the "interest" that was expressed on the cruise's Roll Call, no one showed.  So, what?  I waited in the area for about 30 minutes; then, left and enjoyed the rest of the day.

 

My best tip for solo cruisers, if you wish to have a conversation with someone, is to sit at the bar.  It is almost impossible not to be able to have a conversation with other guests and/or the bartenders.  

This is good advice. I have done this and it does promote conversation.

Just to be clear, when I went to the RCL CC arranged get together, it was for sail away but not a solo only event....

NP but I was surprised that it was well planned yet that's what happened, it made me laugh actually.

I also waited for awhile, had one drink, then left. 

I found the RCL people to be a tough crowd, JMHO. 😛

Yes, I am stereotyping...lol.

Edited July 9, 2022 by Cruisercl

[coastcat]

You just never know. I've been on cruises where I felt oddly isolated and others which felt more comfortable, even though I probably had the same (limited) interaction with people across the board. It's a combination of the passenger mix and my mood, perhaps.

 

I've only cruised on RCI once, although technically it was twice (b2b combining a 3-day and 4-day on Navigator). The 3-day cruise felt isolated, mainly because there was a huge, huge extended family group (my room steward said there were about 700 people in that group). On the 4-day, the atmosphere felt friendlier. Same ship, same crew, same cabin, different passenger mix. My first Princess cruise was almost my last because it just felt uncomfortable (the crew didn't feel that welcoming either except for one splendid server), but I took advantage of a steep solo discount - same ship, new crew, different passenger mix, I had a fabulous time.

Edited July 10, 2022 by coastcat

[MelbTone]

My last cruise was Jan 2020 on Queen Elizabeth. There was at least one programmed solo event (coffee mornings, solos lunch, afternoon tea etc) each day organised by designated crew host Cordelia and she did a brilliant job. From memory about 20-30 people of all ages showed up. Otherwise it was generally the case that people sitting on their own in public areas were happy to approached and chat. And for those who feel diffident about doing this, get the other person to tell you their stories - most people love an audience.

[amyemilia]

I'm a independent cruiser (love that!) and really enjoy my alone time.  Agree with sitting at the bar, but I also found that going to the MDR every evening was beneficial.  I got to meet the folks around me and the staff was generally very friendly and helpful.  On one of my Alaska cruises, I chatted so much with the folks at the next table that we declared ourselves a family group and ate together after that.  Staff wasn't crazy about it but they adapted.  I also found that people are more willing to chat when we are watching something on deck - a whale, or an approaching island, or the sunset.  I'm mostly on RCL and Celebrity.  

[rkacruiser]

21 hours ago, Elaine5715 said:

I saw on Carnival Mardi Gras that they put in "Independent Cruisers" instead of "Solo" or "Single" for the meet up in the Funtimes. 

 

I like their description of the event.  Much more welcoming; those married folks traveling without their spouse might be encouraged to come to the event.

 

21 hours ago, Elaine5715 said:

At the parties, if I want conversation, I take a table and sit at one end then when a friendly looking group seems to be looking for a place, I wave an invitation to join me

 

A very  good idea.  

 

 

19 hours ago, Cruisercl said:

when I went to the RCL CC arranged get together, it was for sail away but not a solo only event.

 

Sailaway CC events can be tough particularly if it is held where there will be much activity, i.e. on an outside deck at a bar.  Who is a part of the group?  Who is not?  I attended one of those a couple of times, could not identify anyone even after asking several people.  Gave up; got my drink and went elsewhere.'

 

19 hours ago, coastcat said:

The 3-day cruise felt isolated, mainly because there was a huge, huge extended family group (my room steward said there were about 700 people in that group). On the 4-day, the atmosphere felt friendlier. Same ship, same crew, same cabin, different passenger mix.

 

The passenger mix is so very important!  I have had my own experiences with that.

 

7 hours ago, MelbTone said:

And for those who feel diffident about doing this, get the other person to tell you their stories - most people love an audience.

 

You have that right!  Ask me; I have a boatload of them!

 

3 hours ago, amyemilia said:

I also found that people are more willing to chat when we are watching something on deck - a whale, or an approaching island, or the sunset. 

 

My experience as well.  I have engaged in brief conversations with some guests at such a time and found that, as we crossed paths, another conversation would occur.  

[Honolulu Blue]

On 7/8/2022 at 9:31 PM, HealthCraig said:

I know, I know. This sounds so pathetic, but I just got off a 4 night cruise on RCI Independence. It was my first solo cruise. I want to preface by saying I had fun and would do it again. However, the longer I was on board, the more lonely I felt. Again, I know that sounds pathetic. I’m not the type of person who’s afraid to talk to strangers, but I did have a hard time trying to make conversation. It seemed everyone around me were with family and/or friends, which is what I expected. I even went to different mingling activities, all of which were duds. No one showed. So, what are some tips you all suggest to combat the weird feeling of being alone while surrounded by thousands of people? I’ve got another solo cruise coming up in a few months and now I’m nervous if this happening again. 

You don't sound pathetic at all.  You sound like a normal person trying to connect to other people.  There's nothing wrong with that.

 

You've been given great advice by others about how to socialize.  Here are a few of my suggestions from someone who's done more than a few solo cruises:

 

• Cruisers are generally a friendly lot.  Go ahead and say hi to as many of them as you like.  It doesn't matter whether they're alone, a couple, or in a big group.  Some of them won't want to talk for whatever reason, and that's fine.  Don't blame yourself.  Keep going until you find someone that will talk and keep talking until one of you has to go.
• Concerts on music themed cruises are great places to start conversations (while in line or before the show - obviously don't talk during the show 😬  .  Clearly you both like the act enough to see them live, so start with something like, "I think (biggest hit) is their best song.  What do you think?"
• Trivia sessions are good for finding people to talk to, especially if you're fond of the theme.  There can be opportunities for solos to join groups as a third/fifth wheel.  You can also go talk to the winner(s) about the questions you missed.
• I like saying a lot without saying anything.  One of my favorite T-shirts during the pandemic was one that said "Don't Stand So Close To Me".  There was a double meaning there - it's one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite bands, and it's what we were all reminded to do during the pandemic. Sometimes people wanted to talk about this message with either of its meanings - great.  And some people took the advice on my shirt to heart and stayed far away - and that's fine too. 😁
• Compliments are always appreciated.  If you see someone with an interesting T-shirt (as I explained above), go ahead and say "nice shirt".  Maybe they want to talk about it.  If on formal night you see something that appeals to you, go ahead and mention it to them.  Be careful about complimenting specific body parts unless you're in serious flirt mode, but you probably know that.

[kelib]

I get on the CC roll call and other conversations for my specific cruise.

Introduce yourself to others on the page as traveling solo and if anyone is interested in meeting up for sharing meals. 
Also if you are around any trivia/group games ask if you can join a team.

NCL is usually the best, especially on their Breakaway class ships since they have scheduled meet ups for solos. 
 

 

[Lois R]

On 7/9/2022 at 7:51 AM, Cruisercl said:

I'll put my experience here too. OP, it is not you.

 

RCL, IMHO, is not good for solo travelers.

I was on the Allure and ran into the same things you did. People were rude at times, not sure why.

My cabin steward yelled at me for not leaving my cabin when he thought I should.....what?

I also went to meet-ups planned on CC and no one showed.

I have cruised on other lines and nothing this extreme happened; there were always nice people to talk to.

As a solo traveler, again IMHO, we do not expect to attach ourselves to others but no reason to be rude.

So sorry this happened to you too.

Safe sailing!!

Sounds like you had a TERRIBLE cabin attendant!!!!!! I would be speaking with Head of Housekeeping if someone yelled at me😲...........

[carlmm]

On 7/10/2022 at 1:38 PM, MelbTone said:

My last cruise was Jan 2020 on Queen Elizabeth. There was at least one programmed solo event (coffee mornings, solos lunch, afternoon tea etc) each day organised by designated crew host Cordelia and she did a brilliant job. From memory about 20-30 people of all ages showed up. Otherwise it was generally the case that people sitting on their own in public areas were happy to approached and chat. 

Even without attending these specific solo events I found guests on  Cunard to be the most sociable ones.

Yet, I met great people to bond with on other lines, too. Often it really came down to the good old shared, fixed seating table.

[carlmm]

On 7/10/2022 at 5:33 PM, amyemilia said:

 I also found that people are more willing to chat when we are watching something on deck - a whale, or an approaching island, or the sunset.

This and the one about standing in line are also excellent advice for people who are shy to approach fellow guests just for a chat, without obvious reason: There you have plenty of reasons for a casual remark.

[carlmm]

On 7/9/2022 at 3:31 AM, HealthCraig said:

 So, what are some tips you all suggest to combat the weird feeling of being alone while surrounded by thousands of people? 

If it is just about the feeling: Do all the things you like and enjoy them.

Enjoy the taste and texture of your food without the distraction of a conversation.

Soak in the atmosphere of eg. the beautiful lounge with great music without somebody taking your attention away by talking. 

[geoherb]

I try to participate in the various activities around the ship. Trivia is one of my favorites, and it lends itself to forming teams (or at least did before Covid). But even on my three cruises since the pandemic, I've eventually formed teams with others. I also eat my meals in the dining room whenever possible and ask to share a table. 

[squadron]

On 7/9/2022 at 5:55 PM, Cruisercl said:

This is good advice. I have done this and it does promote conversation.

Just to be clear, when I went to the RCL CC arranged get together, it was for sail away but not a solo only event....

NP but I was surprised that it was well planned yet that's what happened, it made me laugh actually.

I also waited for awhile, had one drink, then left. 

I found the RCL people to be a tough crowd, JMHO. 😛

Yes, I am stereotyping...lol.

Problem with a sail away roll call party is that it is impossible to get the bartenders attention - seem to think only the men are ordering  drinks so I must be just standing while someone is getting one for me!

[KKB]

On 7/8/2022 at 8:31 PM, HealthCraig said:

 

I know, I know. This sounds so pathetic, but I just got off a 4 night cruise on RCI Independence. It was my first solo cruise. I want to preface by saying I had fun and would do it again. However, the longer I was on board, the more lonely I felt. Again, I know that sounds pathetic. I’m not the type of person who’s afraid to talk to strangers, but I did have a hard time trying to make conversation. It seemed everyone around me were with family and/or friends, which is what I expected. I even went to different mingling activities, all of which were duds. No one showed. So, what are some tips you all suggest to combat the weird feeling of being alone while surrounded by thousands of people? I’ve got another solo cruise coming up in a few months and now I’m nervous if this happening again. 

I just did my 1st solo cruise.

I sat with others at dinner & met a lot of different people. Some I did trivia/game shows with.

Or when I sat at trivia/game shows, I might comment to a close table a right answer--often they would invite me to play with them!

Or if I was at the bar with a drink, I might strike up a conversation with a neighbor.

 

DH was with me the 1st week & it was DEFINITELY a different vibe the solo week. 

Luckily we played hard the 1st week & by the second week I was looking to escape crowds & noise for a few days. I did find myself sitting on the balcony reading more often!

[watson61]

You are not pathetic at all. I've done many solo cruises and it always amazes me how on a ship with thousands of passengers, you can feel as if you're the only one traveling solo. The last cruise I did pre-pandemic was on Norwegian's Pride of America to Hawaii in January 2020. I'm glad I went; Hawaii was lovely and it turned out to be my only vacation in 2020 (who knew?). But I definitely felt like the only solo person there. I did attend the "solo meeting" early in the week and no one else showed up.  I had a great conversation with the event host which was fine.

 

The worst was when I was cruising with a group (Road Scholar) and I had my own cabin, as I always do, even when I cruise with family. The steward said "you don't have any friends?"  Of all the nerve! And that wasn't even a true solo cruise, unlike most of my cruises. 

 

[Cruisercl]

@watson61, I hear ya! I also have had many pretty rude, unprovoked things said to me. I have learned to laugh right at the person.

I am sure lots of solo cruisers, especially women have had things said and behaviors that are unbelievable.

On a Celebrity cruise, I asked for set dining ( I usually don't); I was at a table of 8. One woman was blantantly rude to me; she did not want me sitting next to her husband because I was probably after him. She said that out loud to me and made him move chairs. He was probably late 80's; she was the kind that was rude to the wait staff and tried to control the table. She reprimanded people all of the time. I did laugh at her which she snarked at too...lol. I left after 3 nights.

Another time, she walked up to me and started reprimanding me when I was getting food at the buffet.....I told her to leave me alone or I will call security.

It would probably be great entertainment if there was a thread so people could share their solo experiences with rude people.

Stay safe all.

[SargassoPirate]

She Who Must Be Obeyed does not care to cruise as much as I do, so I cruise solo.  I love it.  I can do what I want, when I want without a committee decision required.  Before the cruise, I load up my Kindle app with books and spend a lot of time reading in shady spots on the promenade.  

 

One can be alone, but not lonely and sometimes all it takes is a raised glass and a greeting to spark a conversation.  I like to grab a cup of coffee and watch the sun come up and often find the same folks out early and it's easy jusy to start with a good morning greeting.

 

I would hate to miss a travel opportunity because I was hesitant to go solo.  Life is too short for that.

[spleenstomper]

I was eating lunch alone years ago (just a regular day, not a cruise) and a solo woman came up to me and said, “I hate eating alone, may I join you?” She happened to be the wife of the mayor of a small town here and we had briefly met years before in passing and she didn’t remember. 
 

Anyway, we had great lunch and talked about travel and an upcoming eclipse.  All she had to do was ask and I was happy to have some lunch company for a change.

[spleenstomper]

On 8/3/2022 at 9:00 AM, SargassoPirate said:

She Who Must Be Obeyed does not care to cruise as much as I do, so I cruise solo.  I love it.  I can do what I want, when I want without a committee decision required.  Before the cruise, I load up my Kindle app with books and spend a lot of time reading in shady spots on the promenade.  

 

One can be alone, but not lonely and sometimes all it takes is a raised glass and a greeting to spark a conversation.  I like to grab a cup of coffee and watch the sun come up and often find the same folks out early and it's easy jusy to start with a good morning greeting.

 

I would hate to miss a travel opportunity because I was hesitant to go solo.  Life is too short for that.

This is true. I find wherever I go, the same 6am people are out and about.