Ship departs Port without Parents, What Happens to Child on-board!?

[clo]

4 minutes ago, brillohead said:

Kids that are happy at the kids club and parents who are happy to leave their happy child at the kids club = everyone is happy.  

You have excused your behavior.  Hopefully at least a few others will choose a different way.  As I said I have a lot of medical background and I'm not a worrywart.  Some behavior is just wrong IMO.  YMMV.

[Lerin]

Lots of armchair perfect parents here...

 

We've left our kids on board several times while we went on an excursion or around town. The clubs were never empty, so other parents must have left too. I see it as no different than leaving a child with a babysitter, or even grandma, at home.

Kids don't want to go to a Jamaican art history tour when they could be in camp with friends playing a wii tournament.

 

Summer camps, school trips...believe it or not, even good parents sometimes spend time away from their kids. My parents sent me to Europe one summer as a young teen with a school group, and this was in the days long before internet and cell phones. At the age of 9 they sent me to Canada with my Girl Scout Troop for 4 days. I'm sad for all of you who have apparently never let your children leave your side. 

 

The kids are with trusted, and background checked, adults who will look out for them in the off chance that for some reason parents don't return. And if something horrible happens, well that sadly is life. The worst can happen anywhere: home, school, grandmas, and vacation. 

[DarrenM]

5 hours ago, brillohead said:

Not at all.  

How is it any different than leaving him at a friend's house or with a sitter while we went out for "date night"?

 

If you really see that as an equal comparison there is little point in arguiung with you.

[DarrenM]

5 hours ago, brillohead said:

People have been leaving their children to be cared for by non-parents for millennia.  This is hardly anything new -- why does the fact that it's happening on a cruise make it so much different?

 

Yes they have, and for me they were all wrong to do so.

 

There again, I have very little time for folk that force their kids into boarding school a ta very young age.

 

Nobody is forced to have childeren, but if you do, its not unreasonable to susggest yu do because you love them and you want to bring them up and have fun with them, and hoprefully help them become very nice and rounded individuals.

 

If we go on holiday as a family, every pan we made was as a family.

 

It would have made me ill with worry if I thought I ahd left them somewhere and couldnt get to them, or something bad happened.

 

My brain cant compute folk that can dumpt their kids in that way.

[brillohead]

There's a HUGE difference between "dumping" your kids somewhere and leaving them with a qualified caregiver.  

I pity the helicopter parents who can't be out of their child's sight for a single moment without being overcome with worry.  People who can't let their kid go to school or camp or a friend's sleepover because they can't be out of their sight for one moment, those folks need legitimate mental health care.  

Life is too short to spend it in a state of constant anxiety.

 

 

[DarrenM]

Who is in a constant state of anxiety?

 

My kids are 25 and 21 now, and we had fantastic holidays with them when they were young.

 

We did everything with them.

 

Because they were our responsibilty, and we never forgot it.

[brillohead]

And my kid is 19 now and happy and healthy with wonderful memories of his childhood, too.  

I never forgot that he was my responsibility, but that didn't mean he had to be in the same room with me every moment of every day. 

He went to summer camps, he went to visit his grandma out of state (and flew alone <GASP!> to get there and back more than once!), he went to school, he went on school field trips (including one to Washington DC), he had sleepovers with friends... and he grew up to be a responsible adult who is well-adjusted and independent (and he also had to teach a lot of his fellow soldiers how to do their laundry in basic training, because their parents never taught them how to adult).  

Just because YOU wouldn't do it doesn't mean it's not perfectly acceptable for others to do it.  

 

[DirtyDawg]

Good Lord people. 🙄

 

None of us are, or were, perfect parents. And if you think you are, or were, you are deluding yourself. 

 

We never left our kids on a ship while we explored the port but we left them with qualified caregivers for a few hours on other vacations. The caregivers survived. 😉

 

 

Edited July 10, 2019 by DirtyDawg

[Schoifmom]

Once again, the topic has crept away from what the OP intended.  I cannot believe how a simple question can turn into an all-out battle regarding parenting styles!!!  Frankly, I believe that you should all be ashamed.

 

The decision to leave or not leave a child on board when leaving the ship is the individual parents' decisions, and I do not judge other people's parenting styles.  BTW, I have raised two well-adjusted adults and I will NOT comment on whether I would have left them on board or not.

 

All cruise lines who permit parents to leave children on board and leave the ship have documented procedures in place.  Some require the parents to be on a ship-sponsored excursion.  Some require the parents to have working cell phones and leave a number.  All have an agreement that must be signed.

 

As far as what happens to the children on the ship if the parents do not make it back (in case you forgot, THIS was the original topic), I do believe that the ship assigns personnel to, in essence, babysit the kids until they are reunited with their parents.  The cost of this, I'm sure, is born by the parents and is outlined in the agreement that is signed when leaving the children behind.

[ZandZ]

15 hours ago, DarrenM said:

On a serious note, what self respecting and loving parent would leave a child on a cruise ship whilst they go off enjoying a new City/port/island??????

The kind whose kids have zero interest in playing tourist.  Seriously.  Lets be nice and understand that kids, just like adults, have personalities and preferences.  

[spookwife]

10 hours ago, clo said:

Now wait a minute.  As a parent, haven't you scaled back the risks you used to take?  One of our daughters and her husband are rock climbers and backcountry skiers.  Big time.  But since they became parents seven years ago they've scaled it back.  You haven't?

 you do understand that accidents happen right?   my mother died on an excursion in Hawai'i.   it was a simple bike ride down the mountain/volcano.   she hit a patch of gravel, and went over the side( the fact that there was zero in the way of safety barriers is another story entirely)  and broke her neck .  

 

I have been on shore excursions where some one crossing the street in a crosswalk and with the light got slammed by a scooter.   I have been to ports where those same scooters crash into a parked bus and cause significant injury to the rider.  

 

my own grandmother tripped in one of the Alaska Ports and ended up being hobbled with a severely sprained ankle the rest of the cruise.

 

none of these people were taking  unnecessary risks.  hell, my mother was at the back of the pack, going much slower than the rest of the group( including my father)  and wearing a bike helmet.  

 

your own life doesn't come to a screeching halt just because you procreate

[navybankerteacher]

37 minutes ago, Schoifmom said:

Once again, the topic has crept away from what the OP intended.  I cannot believe how a simple question can turn into an all-out battle regarding parenting styles!!!  Frankly, I believe that you should all be ashamed.

 

The decision to leave or not leave a child on board when leaving the ship is the individual parents' decisions, and I do not judge other people's parenting styles.  BTW, I have raised two well-adjusted adults and I will NOT comment on whether I would have left them on board or not.

 

All cruise lines who permit parents to leave children on board and leave the ship have documented procedures in place.  Some require the parents to be on a ship-sponsored excursion.  Some require the parents to have working cell phones and leave a number.  All have an agreement that must be signed.

 

As far as what happens to the children on the ship if the parents do not make it back (in case you forgot, THIS was the original topic), I do believe that the ship assigns personnel to, in essence, babysit the kids until they are reunited with their parents.  The cost of this, I'm sure, is born by the parents and is outlined in the agreement that is signed when leaving the children behind.

Reasonable discussion requires some basic commonality of approach;  this is starting to resemble a panel discussion  on renewable food supplies between a vegan and a cannibal.

[LoriPhil]

Or tipping preferences...

[murfturf]

13 hours ago, clo said:

You have excused your behavior.  Hopefully at least a few others will choose a different way.  As I said I have a lot of medical background and I'm not a worrywart.  Some behavior is just wrong IMO.  YMMV.

 

it is your opinion, and other people's experiences will vary! That's the whole point! You can not tell someone they are wrong. The ship allows it, it's not against the law, and it's every parents right to do as they chose within reason. Period. Do as you wish, but I just don't understand people who think their opinion is the final word. 

[mjkacmom]

16 hours ago, clo said:

There are decisions for instance like save the life and have someone be comatose for the rest of their life.  Should a limb be amputated and what are the alternatives.  I have a ton of medical background and there are simply times that it's not black or white.  Countless other examples.

Are you always with your children on land? Many parents commute over an hour to work, or go more than an hour away for adult events like weddings, and someone would have to make medical decisions. I’ve never left kids on board, I wouldn’t have when they were little and weren’t self sufficient, but by the time they were 12+, they’d survive if we missed the ship (although I’m completely paranoid and make sure we get back to the port area at least 2 hours ahead of time). Cruise ships allow this. A cell phone number should be left.

[mjkacmom]

9 hours ago, DarrenM said:

 

Yes they have, and for me they were all wrong to do so.

 

There again, I have very little time for folk that force their kids into boarding school a ta very young age.

 

Nobody is forced to have childeren, but if you do, its not unreasonable to susggest yu do because you love them and you want to bring them up and have fun with them, and hoprefully help them become very nice and rounded individuals.

 

If we go on holiday as a family, every pan we made was as a family.

 

It would have made me ill with worry if I thought I ahd left them somewhere and couldnt get to them, or something bad happened.

 

My brain cant compute folk that can dumpt their kids in that way.

I feel sorry for your kids, my kids love cruising and meeting other kids from all over and having fun with them, and then keeping in touch for years. They have breakfast and dinner with us, shows and excursions with us, and the rest of the times are with others. I’ve been a SAHM of 5 kids for 23 years, I spend A LOT of time with my kids, and they are all best friends. Did you work outside of the home?

[mjkacmom]

15 hours ago, clo said:

I'm assuming that when you leave 'the kid' with a babysitter that you're a cell phone call away.  That you can get home or to the ER quickly.  Regarding "college-educated adults" how does that help?  I was someplace a couple of days ago when a man fainted and was sweating profusely.  No one knew what to do except for me.  He and I lay on the floor together (he was on top of me) and i soothed him verbally until the paramedics arrived.  And I would sure not want to depend on the ship's "medical facility and staffed medical personnel".  I'm not going to say "ergo."

Why would you not leave a cell phone number for the kids club staff? And back in my day, my parents would go places they could not be reached, and still left us with sitters.

[Aquahound]

22 hours ago, StormTight said:

Please, not looking for snide remarks about the parents "failure", as my question could encompass many other unusual circumstances ...

 

So much for that.

[Cruiser_1977]

I think what some are seeing as the difference between leaving a kid at home with a sitter and onboard a cruise ship is that the ship can, and will, leave you behind. That was the whole premise of the thread. My parents left us at home with grandma (some times for a whole week - lol) many times pre-cell phone and we lived and loved grandma time.

 

I suppose my thought is worst case. Parent(s) take excursion that requires transportation to and from the ship and spotty to no cell phone. Let's say for the sake of argument that the excursion is not sponsored by the cruise line. For some reason parents don't make it to the ship. Next day is day at sea. Now parents are without the kids for two nights until, and IF, they can afford to get to the next port. Even worse if the port(s) to follow don't have airports, they may not be reunited until disembarkation day.

 

Again, I'm not a parent and don't have a dog in this fight. I can see both sides. My above scenario is A Perfect Storm.

Edited July 10, 2019 by JennyB1977

[StormTight]

6 hours ago, Schoifmom said:

Once again, the topic has crept away from what the OP intended.  I cannot believe how a simple question can turn into an all-out battle regarding parenting styles!!!  Frankly, I believe that you should all be ashamed.

 

The decision to leave or not leave a child on board when leaving the ship is the individual parents' decisions, and I do not judge other people's parenting styles.  BTW, I have raised two well-adjusted adults and I will NOT comment on whether I would have left them on board or not.

 

All cruise lines who permit parents to leave children on board and leave the ship have documented procedures in place.  Some require the parents to be on a ship-sponsored excursion.  Some require the parents to have working cell phones and leave a number.  All have an agreement that must be signed.

 

As far as what happens to the children on the ship if the parents do not make it back (in case you forgot, THIS was the original topic), I do believe that the ship assigns personnel to, in essence, babysit the kids until they are reunited with their parents.  The cost of this, I'm sure, is born by the parents and is outlined in the agreement that is signed when leaving the children behind.

Thank you for addressing my initial question.  I really wanted to avoid all the comedic / snide remarks ... to my disappointment.

Thanks!

[DarrenM]

1 hour ago, mjkacmom said:

I feel sorry for your kids, my kids love cruising and meeting other kids from all over and having fun with them, and then keeping in touch for years. They have breakfast and dinner with us, shows and excursions with us, and the rest of the times are with others. I’ve been a SAHM of 5 kids for 23 years, I spend A LOT of time with my kids, and they are all best friends. Did you work outside of the home?

Yes I work outside of home, but its OK the kids get locked in the basement.

[DarrenM]

Seriously though my kids were very active sports types, from a very early age, and kids clubs didnt look much fun to them the few times we asked they were interested.

 

If there were enough like mindd kids equally into very competitve physical sports then maybe they might have been interested. But they never were.

 

We looked in on one and saw lots of kids sitting round painting and drawing, and palying in a sand pit, or dancing to a cd player.

 

Would have been my kids idea of hell.

 

Hence it was better to lock them in the basement.

[mjkacmom]

22 minutes ago, DarrenM said:

Seriously though my kids were very active sports types, from a very early age, and kids clubs didnt look much fun to them the few times we asked they were interested.

 

If there were enough like mindd kids equally into very competitve physical sports then maybe they might have been interested. But they never were.

 

We looked in on one and saw lots of kids sitting round painting and drawing, and palying in a sand pit, or dancing to a cd player.

 

Would have been my kids idea of hell.

 

Hence it was better to lock them in the basement.

The clubs are great ways for kids to meet other kids! Mine are/were 3 season varsity athletes, plus club sports, (plus dance for the girls), there was always stuff going on at the sports court, like basketball and soccer (which my boys especially love).

[DarrenM]

yes but it always seemd a bit too inclusive and forced fun. My two kids are 4 years apart and wouldnt have been put together, but when they were little my 4 year old would rip ino my 8 year old lke they were the same size. And wouldnt have been separated.

 

Of course some parents have a different view of how much fun their kids were having when it was the parents decision to out them in a kids club, than maybe their kids really thought.

 

Just saying.

 

 

Edited July 10, 2019 by DarrenM

[clo]

11 hours ago, DarrenM said:

 

Yes they have, and for me they were all wrong to do so.

 

There again, I have very little time for folk that force their kids into boarding school a ta very young age.

 

Nobody is forced to have childeren, but if you do, its not unreasonable to susggest yu do because you love them and you want to bring them up and have fun with them, and hoprefully help them become very nice and rounded individuals.

 

If we go on holiday as a family, every pan we made was as a family.

 

It would have made me ill with worry if I thought I ahd left them somewhere and couldnt get to them, or something bad happened.

 

My brain cant compute folk that can dumpt their kids in that way.

Well expressed.  If you're going to have children then you know in advance that for the next 18+ years there will be compromises.  You won't get to do everything you want like you did pre-kids.  One of our daughters and her husband adore back country skiing.  The way they do it now is one stays with the kids and one goes into the back country.  For a week at a time at least once a year.  Their rock climbing has also scaled down.  It's a job as well as a joyous time.