What's your FUNNIEST Celebrity cruise story?

[shofer]

On 3/22/2022 at 8:07 AM, RedneckBob said:

No, before my time 😀

 

 

That guy had his 15 minutes of fame back in the 80's.  For a (short) while, he was everywhere on TV.

[NC State]

19 hours ago, klfhngr said:

On our first X cruise, I accidently fell asleep on my pillow chocolates! The next morning, it was all over the bed sheets and looked like someone crapped in the bed. On the way out to breakfast, our cabin steward was about to come in. I told him, 'I'm sorry, but my wife wasn't feeling well last night!' Later that day, he was cracking up! I did apologize for falling asleep on it, he said no problem.

Sounds like something my husband would say!

[TeeRick]

9 hours ago, shofer said:

That guy had his 15 minutes of fame back in the 80's.  For a (short) while, he was everywhere on TV.

He did a lot of commercials.  All can be found on You Tube.

 

Also speaking of 15 minutes of fame, remember the rapid talker?  John Moschitta on the FedEx commercial.

[Dr. Cocktail]

I sailed on the Meridian back in 1993 (the first Celebrity ship!) and was lucky enough to be in a Starlight Suite. While there were no balconies back then, the gimmick was a large skylight over the sitting area with a remote controlled blind. Hey - that was impressive back then.

 

After her career with Celebrity, the ship was (I think) headed to the breakers when she got caught in a storm and actually broke up at sea. There were no lives lost but the ship sank to the bottom of the ocean.

 

A good friend of mine who was senior in the travel business excitedly phoned me and said: "Your Starlight Suite has been recategorized and is now an Ocean Suite!"

Edited March 25, 2022 by Dr. Cocktail

[tserface]

While in Sitka, Alaska on an Infinity cruise one year we were in a store.  The person in line in front of us, as she was going to pay, asked, "Do you take American money?"  The person at the counter said, "You do realize Alaska is part of the United States right?"  We all had a great laugh.

[RedneckBob]

11 hours ago, tserface said:

While in Sitka, Alaska on an Infinity cruise one year we were in a store.  The person in line in front of us, as she was going to pay, asked, "Do you take American money?"  The person at the counter said, "You do realize Alaska is part of the United States right?"  We all had a great laugh.

Very funny. While in Key West off a Celebrity ship I was shopping in the Everything is $5 store. When I went to the clerk to pay for my stuff a person in front of me ask the clerk how much was the thing she was buying. ($5)

[TeeRick]

4 hours ago, RedneckBob said:

Very funny. While in Key West off a Celebrity ship I was shopping in the Everything is $5 store. When I went to the clerk to pay for my stuff a person in front of me ask the clerk how much was the thing she was buying. ($5)

Our dollar stores in PA no longer charge $1 for many items.  Many things are now $1.25 or $1.50 so sign of the inflationary times.

[RedneckBob]

5 minutes ago, TeeRick said:

Our dollar stores in PA no longer charge $1 for many items.  Many things are now $1.25 or $1.50 so sign of the inflationary times.

Same hear. Except the bottle of bleach I buy is not only $1.25 and but is only 2 qts instead of 3 qts!

[Pinboy]

Alright, let's give 'er a shot -- 

So, on one of our cruises I noticed the man at the next table to ours was served a " hunka-chunka " blue cheese every night as soon as he sat down for dinner. ( It didn't smell so good ) !!!

The following year , again on a cruise , we stopped at one of the islands ( on the exact day of the " best prices " and the " lucky cabin number " ) , and guess who is sitting outside a store waiting for " You know who " ?? Yup, it was him.

So, we strike up a conversation ( which ship ya on, how's the food, etc, etc, and then I ask him if he likes blue cheese ?  Ya shoulda seen his face ! 

( I was gonna tell him that I was a Physic , but, but--- I " chickened out " -- and told him  " the rest of the  story " ).

 

 

[Anubi]

My funniest story happened on our first cruise on Carnival 1989.  The CD was giving the disembarkation talk and since it was our first cruise we went.  He was working his way through the checklist and got to the sniffing dogs and a warning about what they were sniffing for.  An older lady disagreed with him, stood up and and very loudly commented that they were sniffing for fruit.  The CD smiled at her while the room exploded in laughter.  She reiterated about the fruit.  He nodded his head at her and said, yes they were.  The entire room was laughing but that lady stuck to her guns, they were sniffing for fruit!!    BTW the cruise had unexpectedly called at Jamaica due to a change of itinerary due to Hurricane Hugo; those dogs were most definitely NOT sniffing for fruit.  🤣🤣🤣

[hiccups]

On 3/25/2022 at 5:59 PM, tserface said:

While in Sitka, Alaska on an Infinity cruise one year we were in a store.  The person in line in front of us, as she was going to pay, asked, "Do you take American money?"  The person at the counter said, "You do realize Alaska is part of the United States right?"  We all had a great laugh.

When I was in graduate school, I spent about 7 months in Honolulu on an internship.  When I returned home (East Coast), I had someone ask me what country Hawaii was in.

[chemmo]

One cruise we were chatting to fellow guests in Michael’s when I was asked how I was related to the Queen…..Somewhat bemused I asked what they meant (my husband helplessly laughing). They said they had heard our butler when he came in to pass a message on to us about a dining change call me ‘My Lady’ (the phrase I think he used for all female guests) and then they had heard the Captain when he and other officers were doing the rounds say to my husband ‘It is lovely to see you and your wonderful lady on board again’.
 

Needless to say we explained we were not royal but simple working class folk…we sort of got a quizzical look. I guess our English accents were part of the problem. 

 

 

Edited March 27, 2022 by chemmo

[gold1953]

On 3/24/2022 at 12:45 PM, klfhngr said:

On our first X cruise, I accidently fell asleep on my pillow chocolates! The next morning, it was all over the bed sheets and looked like someone crapped in the bed. On the way out to breakfast, our cabin steward was about to come in. I told him, 'I'm sorry, but my wife wasn't feeling well last night!' Later that day, he was cracking up! I did apologize for falling asleep on it, he said no problem.

and the reason that Celebrity stopped the chocolates . Too many stained sheets. Then of course too many complaints so the chocolate came back. I was happy without the extra calories!. We just tossed them in our luggage and gave then to the grandkids at home

 

[jimbri]

Wonderrful thread!

[Guppy99]

3 hours ago, gold1953 said:

and the reason that Celebrity stopped the chocolates . Too many stained sheets. Then of course too many complaints so the chocolate came back. I was happy without the extra calories!. We just tossed them in our luggage and gave then to the grandkids at home

 

I sill got chocolates every night on my two cruises this year. (But I've been very careful to either eat them or put them in a little box I keep on the nightstand)

[Luvcrusn]

This story was alarming at the time but funny looking back. This happened on a wacky Royal Caribbean cruise (RCCI owns X so I thought I'd share) it. We went on a shore excursion in Prince Edward Island. Our tour bus stopped along the way at a glorified souvenir shop and a lady came onto the tour bus with a gunny sack of potato chips that were produced on the island made from their apparently famous potatoes grown there. She proceeded to tell us about these potatoes and potato chips before giving each passenger on the bus a bag of chips. Although her presentation was obviously riveting, while she was talking the bus started filling up with a milky white fog. Everyone on the bus was trying to be polite, but I asked (not too quietly) if anyone saw the fog that was filling the bus from the vents above our heads. Several people commented. I then asked the lady giving the potato chip talk if she would care to share her talk with us on the tarmac outside the bus. (At this point we could barely see her for the white fog. She continued as if she couldn't see the fog or hear me at which point DH and I got up and walked past her out of the bus followed by the rest of the bus passengers. She stayed on the bus as everyone politely walked past her while she continued on  about the potato chips. Apparently she was going down with the ship...er...buses! She finally decided it was pointless to talk about potato chips to an empty bus filled with white fog and joined us to continue her talk on the tarmac. The tour company had to send a new bus to take us back to the ship which required an hour and 45 minute wait there.

Continuing along that night we boarded our ship to continue our journey. We were to go to Nova Scotia the next day.  The seas were extremely rough that evening, so much so that most of the ship seemed empty because many were seasick. I was awakened sometime during that night to find that I'd rolled out of bed onto the floor because the ship was rocking so badly. DH slept through the whole thing even though the balcony divider had shaken loose and was banging loudly into the balcony furniture with each motion of the ship. It was quite the day!

[Denny01]

Here’s one with multiple oops:

 

We did a Eastern Med out of Roma (well, Civitavecchia!) with friends. We spent a few days enjoying Roma. I used All my Hilton points to stay in the Hilton Cavaleri, a Very expensive hotel up behind the Vatican. An unbelievable hotel. Asked about dinner and they said they had a Michelin at the top - the price was 300Eu..each!  I asked if they had another - he gave me That Look and said yes, down below is our ‘standard’ restaurant at 150Eu each….My wife and I went to the Hilton Club before we went wandering to find another place, and realized they had soup and sandwiches there - when I asked the lady if could we just have dinner here, she laughed and said many do!!

 

I’d set up a van to pick us and our two friend couples who were staying in town up. When I originally set it up on line, the price came back at about 3x what the advertised price was and I emailed ‘why’. They said my input showed ‘60 pieces of luggage’ so they got us a full bus….I explained I’d accidently entered 60 instead of 6 and they set us up with a standard van. Sitting in the hotel lobby waiting for our van, I see a full bus pull up and I Know what is about to happen…this isn’t a hotel where a bus load of us tourists go to! The driver steps in calling my name. We step up and onto the bus. I explain there is an error and fortunately I have a copy of the emails. He calls (as he’s driving) and tells me it’s their error and I’ll be charged for a van. we pick up our (shocked) friends and head for the port.

 

As we pull up to the port, out come a dozen porters with carts for the full bus load. they are more than a bit put off when 6 of us get off. I put on my sunglasses, put my sports coat over my shoulders and step out, saying with a Very Fake Italian accent…..’Please, please just treat me like one of the Little People…..I just want to be one of the Little People’. My wife Was Not Laughing….But I was!

 

den

[T^2]

I'll try my hand at a story, I find amusing, because it doesn't involve me, but my young bride and a very nice young UK couple.  This partly ties into not being able to understand English (American vs British).

 

A couple years ago on our Med cruise, my wife and I were seated at a 2 top in Blu and the tables were very close together.  It appeared the young couple had been doing some quality control at one of the bars before dinner.  The four of us strike up a conversation as we start dinner.  The other couple ordered some wine, after asking what we were drinking.   The young lady tasted the wine and said "this doesn't taste like what I wanted," and hands her wine glass to my wife to taste and see if it tastes the same as what we were having.  Before I knew it, my wife and the other couple had all managed to swap wine glasses and sipped to see whose wine was the best, while I hugged my glass like my life depending on it.  We enjoyed meeting up with the couple on several different nights to discuss our adventures for the day.

 

Finally, tying this story back to different languages with the same name.  The young lady regularly dropped the f-bomb during dinner.  Normally, I wouldn't find it amusing; however, with her accent and my translation of what I thought I was hearing, I always heard her say "FORK!"  After she dropped her first "fork," I affectionately referred to her as "spoon girl."

[the penguins]

11 hours ago, T^2 said:

I'll try my hand at a story, I find amusing, because it doesn't involve me, but my young bride and a very nice young UK couple.  This partly ties into not being able to understand English (American vs British).

 

A couple years ago on our Med cruise, my wife and I were seated at a 2 top in Blu and the tables were very close together.  It appeared the young couple had been doing some quality control at one of the bars before dinner.  The four of us strike up a conversation as we start dinner.  The other couple ordered some wine, after asking what we were drinking.   The young lady tasted the wine and said "this doesn't taste like what I wanted," and hands her wine glass to my wife to taste and see if it tastes the same as what we were having.  Before I knew it, my wife and the other couple had all managed to swap wine glasses and sipped to see whose wine was the best, while I hugged my glass like my life depending on it.  We enjoyed meeting up with the couple on several different nights to discuss our adventures for the day.

 

Finally, tying this story back to different languages with the same name.  The young lady regularly dropped the f-bomb during dinner.  Normally, I wouldn't find it amusing; however, with her accent and my translation of what I thought I was hearing, I always heard her say "FORK!"  After she dropped her first "fork," I affectionately referred to her as "spoon girl."

Our next door neighbour is Irish and her husband refuses to let her ask for a "fork and spoon" as her accent immediately makes us hear the word FORK as the other F word. 

With a Texan grandson who we pick up from school in Dallas I have regular miscommunications with other parents. After we returned from one visit our daughter in law was approached by a parent who offered her 2 free tickets to a Comedy Club in Plano. It turned out the parent was a stand-up comedian who had included a number of the "incidents" into his routine. 

[NC State]

I took my mother on her first cruise back in 2015. For the 2 weeks before we left she left her suite case open on a bench in her bedroom and would drop things in it as she thought about it. The day finally came and we flew to Miami and then boarded the ship.  That evening as we were getting ready for diner she called me to come and look at a note she found in her suite case.  The TSA had open her suitcase and a dog had "smelled" something from it so they had to open it.  I explained to her that was part of flying. She laughed and said "that dog smelled my cats they had been sleeping in my open suite case for the past 2 weeks!" She still tells that story to this day with an honor. 

[capsplace]

Here’s one I think you’ll enjoy.  While onboard the Millennium, SE Asia 2018,  my DH, as he left our stateroom one early morning at the start of our cruise, said “I’ll be at the Spa Cafe”.  I followed several minutes later and noticed he left without his Sea Pass.  When I arrived at the Spa Cafe, I found him with two smoothies he said he got at the counter.  I went up to the counter and saw that you needed to show your Sea Pass to get a smoothie. “Hmm”, I thought, “how did he get the smoothies?”.  Meanwhile, he had consumed one and was starting on the second when he said “these are really thick and not very good”.  He then headed off to the Spa for his daily steam. I remained at the table, when suddenly two of the staff from the Spa Cafe came rushing over saying “Thank goodness we found them”.  Seeing my puzzled expression, they proceeded to tell me they were SAMPLES, not real smoothies, and made of food coloring and thickener!  Good grief!  “Where is your husband?”, they asked.  Next thing, they wanted our name and stateroom number, and, while they said he’ll probably be ok, they encouraged DH to visit the ship’s clinic, and to drink a lot of water with lemon.  I found him in the Spa, and with the aid of an attendant gave him four waters to drink right away.  Later that day, we received a note in our room from Captain Nikolas, requesting a status report.  We told our stateroom attendant to send a message that my DH was fine, and not to worry.  A few days later, we attended a Captain’s Club event and were introduced to Captain Nik, who immediately knew who we were, and we had a good laugh.  Since then, I believe the “samples” are not displayed where a guest can easily grab one without knowing they’re fakes.

Followup, Jan 2022, on the Reflection with Captain Nik at the helm.  We are sitting in Blu one evening when the Capt and his entourage come in just to say hello.  All of a sudden, Capt Nik spots my DH from across the room and comes straight over to our table.  “I know you!  The Millennium, SE Asia, 2018!”.  We couldn’t believe it!  Guess my DH made quite an impression 😜

[Denny01]

On our 2nd cruise, we did a family Thanksgiving. Used an online booker for the family 4 cabins. I wasn’t that familiar yet with what would be expected and just a few weeks prior, I still hadn’t received our boarding documents as had the other family members. I called and tried to talk to who booked us and ended up with another booker. they went through all what they had and realized the original person hadn’t got us an assigned SR because they wanted to try to upgrade us, but now we didn’t have any SR and the ship, according to him was fully booked. We’d paid final and all that, but we were out of luck……on a very popular Thanksgiving week for cruising! The company took the hit and moved all of us over to a Celebrity cruise that was more expensive but they ate it. 

 

When we got on board, we met a British couple who it turned out were originally booked on our original cruise, a Norwegian cruise ship, and told us the day prior, it had run aground entering Tampa and their (and our original) cruise was canceled. They were moved over to the Celebrity. Many weren’t and lost out. They were because they’d flown over from Britain and had priority. Wow were we lucky.

 

the funny story is we are dining in the Celebrity MDR and my wife’s mother exclaimed that the service was so good she expected to be fed by hand. The waitstaff heard her, and he walked over, picked up her spoon and fed her! Just hilarious. 

 

That was my first indication that Celebrity was a cut above!

 

den

[cruisecatmama]

9 hours ago, the penguins said:

Our next door neighbour is Irish and her husband refuses to let her ask for a "fork and spoon" as her accent immediately makes us hear the word FORK as the other F word. 

With a Texan grandson who we pick up from school in Dallas I have regular miscommunications with other parents. After we returned from one visit our daughter in law was approached by a parent who offered her 2 free tickets to a Comedy Club in Plano. It turned out the parent was a stand-up comedian who had included a number of the "incidents" into his routine. 

Hi Geoff! I hope you and Anita are doing well... I hope to be doing better soon and will be in touch... Love to you both, Jackie

[the penguins]

1 hour ago, cruisecatmama said:

Hi Geoff! I hope you and Anita are doing well... I hope to be doing better soon and will be in touch... Love to you both, Jackie

Hi Jackie, great to hear from you.

We have been fine but as of last week we both have Covid - not badly just both very tired and Anita has a bad cough.

Have you been getting our emails? If yes will message you tomorrow. Geoff

[the penguins]

19 hours ago, Denny01 said:

On our 2nd cruise, we did a family Thanksgiving. Used an online booker for the family 4 cabins. I wasn’t that familiar yet with what would be expected and just a few weeks prior, I still hadn’t received our boarding documents as had the other family members. I called and tried to talk to who booked us and ended up with another booker. they went through all what they had and realized the original person hadn’t got us an assigned SR because they wanted to try to upgrade us, but now we didn’t have any SR and the ship, according to him was fully booked. We’d paid final and all that, but we were out of luck……on a very popular Thanksgiving week for cruising! The company took the hit and moved all of us over to a Celebrity cruise that was more expensive but they ate it. 

 

When we got on board, we met a British couple who it turned out were originally booked on our original cruise, a Norwegian cruise ship, and told us the day prior, it had run aground entering Tampa and their (and our original) cruise was canceled. They were moved over to the Celebrity. Many weren’t and lost out. They were because they’d flown over from Britain and had priority. Wow were we lucky.

 

the funny story is we are dining in the Celebrity MDR and my wife’s mother exclaimed that the service was so good she expected to be fed by hand. The waitstaff heard her, and he walked over, picked up her spoon and fed her! Just hilarious. 

 

That was my first indication that Celebrity was a cut above!

 

den

Not funny but it shows that Royal also "goes the extra mile".

We were cruising with friends on their first cruise one of whom suffered badly from Arthritis. At dinner the first night her husband cut her for food for her (she is unable to grip the cutlery tightly enough to do this for herself) just as he does at home.

The second night the waiter brought her meal and without making any fuss cut the food for her and gave her a fresh set of cutlery. Our friend's husband  was completely  taken aback but before he could comment the waiter said " sir on this ship we cut the food, you are on vacation".

This was just one example amongst many of the lengths individual crew members went to to ensure that our friends had the most memorable vacation.