Dress for Cunard

[Se1lad]

2 minutes ago, navybankerteacher said:

I do not think so - the portions of the post to which I intended to respond  were concerned with “dress code”  — either mandatory or recommended.     From the direction other lines have taken it is pretty clear that calling a dress code “recommended” rather than “mandatory” is simply the first, essentially irreversible, step  in effectively eliminating that dress code.    

 

Of course, using a hazy term like “gala” in lieu of the more specific “formal” is likely the first step along that path.

My understanding, and correct me if I am wrong, is that on the gala nights, the formal dress code is mandatory - which i obviously don’t have a problem with.

 

Some gala nights are also classed as theme nights which have an additional optional dress code.  If you don’t follow the optional code e.g. Roaring Twenties or Black & White then you still need to follow the normal formal dress code.

 

[john watson]

Generally speaking the dress code on Theme Nights where they are also Gala Nights,  is formal and Cunard publish their code.  Beyond this an officially announced theme is there for people who wish to participate.  Passengers who are formally dressed but not following the theme are simply non-participants in the theme.  I do not believe you can say they are cocking a snook at the event.

 

Regards John

Edited May 26, 2019 by john watson

[navybankerteacher]

8 minutes ago, Se1lad said:

The suggested dress code for theme nights is described on the Cunard site as optional.

 

looking up optional in the dictionary I see this:

 

not necessary or demanded but possibleor available; depending on what you decide to do

 

so how can deciding not to follow it be disrespectful as Cunard don’t provide any additional caveats?

 

Then, why do you say that you

 

“...would always respect a dress code that was mandatory or even one that was recommended to ensure the enjoyment of other guests...”

 

 and then go on to say you can take advantage of its being optional and not follow it without being disrespectful?

 

 

[Se1lad]

9 minutes ago, navybankerteacher said:

Then, why do you say that you

 

“...would always respect a dress code that was mandatory or even one that was recommended to ensure the enjoyment of other guests...”

 

 and then go on to say you can take advantage of its being optional and not follow it without being disrespectful?

 

 

As per the other post I have just put up I am saying that I would always follow the mandatory dress code on gala nights (so for men dark suit with tie or tuxedo with tie).  

 

However some gala nights are additionally classed as theme nights with an optional theme e.g roaring twenties .

 

On  those nights I would not follow the optional theme but would still follow the mandatory formal dress code.

 

[BobBranst]

1 hour ago, Se1lad said:

My question still stands though - where does it say anywhere on the Cunard site (Or elsewhere else apart from this forum) that its disrespectful to wear anything but black and white on the dance floor during the Black & White ball?

 

apologies if I wasn’t specific enough before 

 

With regard to the ballroom dance floor, there are lots of things that the Cunard website fails to mention and/or give specific rules.   It says nothing about knowing basic ballroom dance floor etiquettet, but without it, the floor would become mass chaos.   If everyone were to "do their own thing" on the floor, dancers would be crashing and falling into one another and that definately would fall in the disrespectful category even though the Cunard website might not have mention it.

 

You can say that this isn't the same thing, but in the end, it's all about respecting your fellow dancers who made the effort to actually make it a "Black and White Ball' rather than a Black & White & Red & Green & Purple & Brown & Gray & Yellow & Blue & Gold & etc ball.

[Se1lad]

18 minutes ago, BobBranst said:

 

With regard to the ballroom dance floor, there are lots of things that the Cunard website fails to mention and/or give specific rules.   It says nothing about knowing basic ballroom dance floor etiquettet, but without it, the floor would become mass chaos.   If everyone were to "do their own thing" on the floor, dancers would be crashing and falling into one another and that definately would fall in the disrespectful category even though the Cunard website might not have mention it.

 

You can say that this isn't the same thing, but in the end, it's all about respecting your fellow dancers who made the effort to actually make it a "Black and White Ball' rather than a Black & White & Red & Green & Purple & Brown & Gray & Yellow & Blue & Gold & etc ball.

The Cunard site does however mention the dress code for theme nights and says the theme is optional (but the standard formal dress code is still required)

[2Oldpeopleinlove]

The rigidity of some of the people discussing this issue is making me think it was a mistake to book our crossing. It isn't that we don't intend to participate in the themes. We do...or did. 

 

But it's beginning to sound as if there are some unwritten “rules” that we will be ridiculed for not knowing. That is not an experience I am eager to pay so many thousands to have. Perhaps riff-raff like us would be better off using those funds to go see our children in France. Even our Chinese-French daughter-in-law doesn't turn her nose up at us for not knowing all the nuances of her family's culture.

[frantic36]

Aaaahhh, the old dress code strikes again. I am with you 2Oldpeople. I am looking forward to trying out QM2in Queen's Grill next year and have even started taking some dancing lessons. The attitude of some very strict rule enforcers here is giving me pause.

 

I love to dress up and continue to do so even on Seabourn where it is now formal optional. My understanding of the dress code theme is it is optional to participate in the theme and you can still go to the Queen's Room to dance. 

 

I will dress in black and/or white but it suits me, for some women they don't find the colours work well on them and will choose something else. Sometimes black and white is very harsh and draining and softer colours work better.

[2Oldpeopleinlove]

Yes. I think giving up the small deposit would be preferable to paying more than five thousand to be made to be feel “not quite good enough.” We are in no position to try a Grill, but we were looking forward to a nice balcony room. 

[BobBranst]

For those who are disturbed by this discussion, please keep in mind that the Black & White Ball is just one small 3-4 hour time period that limited to the Queens Room Ballroom.   That's it.   These heated discussions between traditionalists and non-traditionalists have been repeated over and over for years and will no doubt come up again in the future.   There are no secret rules that need concern you.   Crossings on the QM2 are an experience unlike any you will find on any other line.   Try it once and odds are you will be back for a second and more.

 

 

Edited May 27, 2019 by BobBranst

[2Oldpeopleinlove]

Your own words:

”With regard to the ballroom dance floor, there are lots of things that the Cunard website fails to mention and/or give specific rules.   It says nothing about knowing basic ballroom dance floor etiquettet, but without it, the floor would become mass chaos.   If everyone were to 'do their own thing' on the floor, dancers would be crashing and falling into one another and that definately [sic] would fall in the disrespectful category even though the Cunard website might not have mention it.“

We have purchased dance lessons, but your assertions say that, whatever we do, we won't be good enough for some people.

Edited May 27, 2019 by 2Oldpeopleinlove

[BobBranst]

14 minutes ago, 2Oldpeopleinlove said:

Your own words:

”With regard to the ballroom dance floor, there are lots of things that the Cunard website fails to mention and/or give specific rules.   It says nothing about knowing basic ballroom dance floor etiquette, but without it, the floor would become mass chaos.   If everyone were to "do their own thing" on the floor, dancers would be crashing and falling into one another and that definately would fall in the disrespectful category even though the Cunard website might not have mention it.“

We have purchased dance lessons, but your assertions say that, whatever we do, we won't be good enough for some people.

 

If you do an internet search for "ballroom ediquette" and you will find that it is really nothing more than common sense.   It says things like dancers doing "spot" dances (where you basically dance in place) should move to the center of the dance floor so that they don't interfere with those doing moving "line of dance" dances.   That way, you are not a road block for other dancers.   Ask your dance teacher(s).   You are probably being taught things like that already.

Edited May 27, 2019 by BobBranst

[3rdGenCunarder]

3 hours ago, Se1lad said:

My understanding, and correct me if I am wrong, is that on the gala nights, the formal dress code is mandatory - which i obviously don’t have a problem with.

 

Some gala nights are also classed as theme nights which have an additional optional dress code.  If you don’t follow the optional code e.g. Roaring Twenties or Black & White then you still need to follow the normal formal dress code.

 

 

That's how I read it. 

 

[MelbTone]

1 hour ago, 2Oldpeopleinlove said:

Yes. I think giving up the small deposit would be preferable to paying more than five thousand to be made to be feel “not quite good enough.” We are in no position to try a Grill, but we were looking forward to a nice balcony room. 

 

If anyone makes you feel "not quite good enough", that's a reflection on them, not you. I've done two Cunard cruises in PG and have enjoyed meeting lots of people from all sorts of backgrounds, people who I'd never have met if I stayed at home. My formal dress is a $99 Target black suit, shirt and tie and I've fitted in just fine. Looking forward to cruise #3 next Jan, just booked #4 for 2021. Go, and have a great time!

[3rdGenCunarder]

1 hour ago, frantic36 said:

Aaaahhh, the old dress code strikes again. I am with you 2Oldpeople. I am looking forward to trying out QM2in Queen's Grill next year and have even started taking some dancing lessons. The attitude of some very strict rule enforcers here is giving me pause.

 

I love to dress up and continue to do so even on Seabourn where it is now formal optional. My understanding of the dress code theme is it is optional to participate in the theme and you can still go to the Queen's Room to dance. 

 

I will dress in black and/or white but it suits me, for some women they don't find the colours work well on them and will choose something else. Sometimes black and white is very harsh and draining and softer colours work better.

 

51 minutes ago, 2Oldpeopleinlove said:

Yes. I think giving up the small deposit would be preferable to paying more than five thousand to be made to be feel “not quite good enough.” We are in no position to try a Grill, but we were looking forward to a nice balcony room. 

 

Don't expect  the passengers on Cunard to be unforgiving and judgmental. If you're having tea in the Queens Room or a drink in the Commodore Club, you won't know if the person sitting at the next table is in a Queens Grill suite or in an inside Britannia Cabin. Cunard passengers do not make a big show of announcing what level of accommodation they have, and they don't go around trying to make others feel "not quite good enough." 

 

Sadly, you will see some "dance snobs" on the floor glaring at people who are not the dance equivalent of a black belt. Some dancers look so serious about it that I wonder if they're even enjoying themselves! (I've seen this on other lines, too, so it isn't a "Cunard thing.") So if you're not an expert, just stay out of the way of the uber-serious and enjoy yourself. 

 

[frantic36]

1 hour ago, 2Oldpeopleinlove said:

Yes. I think giving up the small deposit would be preferable to paying more than five thousand to be made to be feel “not quite good enough.” We are in no position to try a Grill, but we were looking forward to a nice balcony room. 

 

 

From my experience Cruise Critic opinions are just that and in most cases they are no where near so severe once onboard the ship 😉. I am sure we will have a great time. By the way I love your screen name, I am lucky enough to still be in love with my husband and it is something to enjoy and cherish.

 

I hope I didn't come across as pretentious, I only mentioned we are in QG because of concern that there might be even more strictness of standards there. We are doing QG as we are sailing with friends. It is the segment of the world cruise leaving from Perth to Cape Town, so we thought a good opportunity to try QM2.

[john watson]

7 hours ago, 2Oldpeopleinlove said:

The rigidity of some of the people discussing this issue is making me think it was a mistake to book our crossing. It isn't that we don't intend to participate in the themes. We do...or did. 

 

But it's beginning to sound as if there are some unwritten “rules” that we will be ridiculed for not knowing. That is not an experience I am eager to pay so many thousands to have. Perhaps riff-raff like us would be better off using those funds to go see our children in France. Even our Chinese-French daughter-in-law doesn't turn her nose up at us for not knowing all the nuances of her family's culture.

 

The contributors to this forum tend to be a bit OCD when it comes to many issues, dress code being near the top.  The situation on board is far less judgemental.  Things run very smoothly in my experience and all the information people need to participate in everything the cruise line organises is either published or announced by the cruise line.  

 

Most "unwritten rules" come from normal social etiquette like; bread plate to the left and drink to the right.  Last cruise this came on a circular table where someone was left bereft.  It's no big deal really but after a full-table discussion the one couple who had the opposing view were never seen again.  This is what I call over-reaction, you cannot expect one guy to not have a bread plate because either side of him had taken one and there was a redundant plate the other side of the table. 

 

Regards John

Edited May 27, 2019 by john watson

[Host Hattie]

6 hours ago, 2Oldpeopleinlove said:

Yes. I think giving up the small deposit would be preferable to paying more than five thousand to be made to be feel “not quite good enough.” We are in no position to try a Grill, but we were looking forward to a nice balcony room. 

 

Please don't be put off by some of the opinions being expressed in this thread, I would hope they would have the good manners to keep their opinions to themselves in real life.

As long as you comply with the requested dress code, nobody will treat you any differently whether you follow the theme or not.

Have a wonderful trip

[majortom10]

We have done roundtrip TAs on QM2 and other cruises on QE/QV and often attend the Queens Room in the evening not to dance but just to have a drink and listen to the music and the wife likes to watch the dancing. We always adhere to the dress code of the evening but never dress to the "theme" and having been to Roaring Twenties, Black & White and Royal Ascot themed evenings I should say that less than 10% especially Roaring Twenties and Royal Ascot dress to the theme but dress formally in accordance with the dress code. With regards to Black & White evening many adhere to the theme but there are still many that wear coloured bow ties and women that wear formal coloured evening dresses which I do not see as a problem.

[Windsurfboy]

I've generally found these forums very informative,  and hence useful in enabling me to maximise the Cunard experience. The one exception being dress code.

 

The dress code as written by Cunard is simple and very clear , all one needs  is access to the website and an understanding of the English language. There is only ONE meaning to the dress code take it as it is written, it needs no explanation or elaboration. 

 

But some people who do not like the new dress code, especially those who hark back to the earlier stricter codes of many years ago want to argue for their own way nd preferences and as has been said can be quite judgemental.  For example when the day time code changed to "wear what you are comfortable with" , and I expressed my approval for the change and that I would wear shorts to breakfast, I was told that would lower the standard and I should go to the buffet,  not to the main dining room. 

 

Just follow the code as written by Cunard and everything will be fine.

 

As I  said in an earlier post, basic manners like holding the door open for the elderly are much more important than the colour of a dress. 

 

 

[BobBranst]

41 minutes ago, Windsurfboy said:

The dress code as written by Cunard is simple and very clear , all one needs  is access to the website and an understanding of the English language. There is only ONE meaning to the dress code take it as it is written, it needs no explanation or elaboration. 

 

While you are looking that up on the internet, you might also find interesting to read a little about the history behind the original Black and White Ball which took place in the 1960's.   It is not something that Cunard invented.  Here is a link to one article about it on Wikipedia.

Edited May 27, 2019 by BobBranst

[Dermotsgirl]

7 minutes ago, BobBranst said:

 

While you are looking that up on the internet, you might also find interesting to read a little about the history behind the original black ball which took place in 1966.   It not something that Cunard invented.  Here is a link to one article about it on Wikipedia.

They have the black and white ball on P & O as well, and over the years there have been many similar threads on many forums about the wearing of 'colours' on black and white night. Cunard is not unique in this respect. 

 

 

[Dermotsgirl]

41 minutes ago, Windsurfboy said:

I've generally found these forums very informative,  and hence useful in enabling me to maximise the Cunard experience. The one exception being dress code.

 

The dress code as written by Cunard is simple and very clear , all one needs  is access to the website and an understanding of the English language. There is only ONE meaning to the dress code take it as it is written, it needs no explanation or elaboration. 

 

But some people who do not like the new dress code, especially those who hark back to the earlier stricter codes of many years ago want to argue for their own way nd preferences and as has been said can be quite judgemental.  For example when the day time code changed to "wear what you are comfortable with" , and I expressed my approval for the change and that I would wear shorts to breakfast, I was told that would lower the standard and I should go to the buffet,  not to the main dining room. 

 

Just follow the code as written by Cunard and everything will be fine.

 

As I  said in an earlier post, basic manners like holding the door open for the elderly are much more important than the colour of a dress. 

 

 

I do agree, the tone can sometimes sound rather judgemental.

 

I've often said, that if message boards had been around when I started cruising, I probably would never have started at all, as some posts can be off-putting .

 

 

[Se1lad]

1 hour ago, Windsurfboy said:

 For example when the day time code changed to "wear what you are comfortable with" , and I expressed my approval for the change and that I would wear shorts to breakfast, I was told that would lower the standard and I should go to the buffet,  not to the main dining room. 

 

 

 

The dress code on the Cunard website suggests you can’t wear shorts in the MDR for breakfast/lunch or am I misreading it?

 

During the day

Casual shirts, shorts, trousers and beachwear are ideal. The main restaurants require a casual wear dress code for breakfast and lunch, however you may wear shorts in either the Kings Court (Queen Mary 2) or Lido Restaurant (Queen Victoria & Queen Elizabeth).

 

[luckymal]

On 5/26/2019 at 6:04 PM, Se1lad said:

There are still some daytime events going on 5-6 though, that's why I thought my idea was a good compromise.  For example if I am dining at 8.30 and want to attend the LGBT drinks at 5-6 in the Commodore Club I don't really want to get dressed for the evening at 4.30pm for the 5pm drinks.  Going to the cabin at 6 pm to start getting ready for dinner at 8/8.30 works much better.  Fully support having one bar formal only for the early diners - even at 5pm,  seems like a reasonable compromise to me.

 

You seem to want the best of both worlds, not always possible?🍷🥃