Ever have awful Table mates?

[navybankerteacher]

14 hours ago, K32682 said:

 

I will request 2-tops as well.  Should that not be possible I do not intend to idly sit there dining as some mouth-breather rants about Muslims, gays, minorities, Democrats, Jews or any other offensive subject.  Silence is consent. 

Just curious: is there also a problem if rant is about Republicans, Christians, majorities in any communities, while breathing through their noses?

 

The question is: are offensive political (or racist) comments still offensive if directed at groups you do not like?

[zitsky]

13 minutes ago, Cruzaholic41 said:

 

I very highly doubt this all happened. In fact, I’m throwing the BS flag. You seem to be pushing an agenda rather than telling a truthful story. 

 

If you look at poster's recent history, you will see they are proud of being confrontational.

[K32682]

10 hours ago, navybankerteacher said:

Just curious: is there also a problem if rant is about Republicans, Christians, majorities in any communities, while breathing through their noses?

 

The question is: are offensive political (or racist) comments still offensive if directed at groups you do not like?

Yes. 

[K32682]

10 hours ago, zitsky said:

 

If you look at poster's recent history, you will see they are proud of being confrontational.

 

Confrontation in reaction to a bigot, boor or misbehaving lout is no sin.  The greater sin is to meekly sit at your table in the MDR during an offensive diatribe, too timid to put a deserving blowhard in his place.  Don't start confrontations but don't be afraid to finish them. 

[navybankerteacher]

On 7/1/2019 at 7:43 AM, DarrenM said:

i find eating in silence quite uncomfortable. If all you can hear is the sound of cutlery and chewing etc.

 

Can we at least turn the music up?

Same here - what is the problem with being one of six or eight people around a table -listening to what others might have to say, adding a comment as might be appropriate (yes, I can read a menu, listen to others, think, and occasionally respond all at the same time).  “Appropriate” is the key word - it is not that hard - except for the occasional blowhard who does not know how to act in public.

 

I can’t help wondering if the people who find themselves unable to spend time with others might be the problem.

[zitsky]

12 minutes ago, K32682 said:

 

Confrontation in reaction to a bigot, boor or misbehaving lout is no sin.  The greater sin is to meekly sit at your table in the MDR during an offensive diatribe, too timid to put a deserving blowhard in his place.  Don't start confrontations but don't be afraid to finish them. 

 

So who gets to decide what is inappropriate behavior?  Do you walk around to every table checking that no speech is offensive?  What do you do if you see someone around the ship wearing a tshirt from a politician you don't support?  Do you correct them too?

[navybankerteacher]

19 minutes ago, zitsky said:

 

So who gets to decide what is inappropriate behavior?  Do you walk around to every table checking that no speech is offensive?  What do you do if you see someone around the ship wearing a tshirt from a politician you don't support?  Do you correct them too?

Of course, there are a several ways to react to conversation you find inappropriate:

a) maturely, by courteously steering the conversation along other lines ,

b) arrogantly, by escalating the situation by “putting a deserving blowhard in his place”,

or

c) preemptively, by assuming that you might encounter people with different opinions which you will be unable to tolerate and avoiding interaction by insisting on a two-top.

Edited July 2, 2019 by navybankerteacher

[Shawnino]

On 6/26/2019 at 3:54 PM, navybankerteacher said:

Probably so - there seems to be a greater tendency to complain, rather than applaud, on these threads.

 

It's Cruise Critic, not Cruise Cuddle.

[navybankerteacher]

10 minutes ago, Shawnino said:

 

It's Cruise Critic, not Cruise Cuddle.

A “critic” is generally defined as one who offers a reasoned evaluation of something - a reasoned evaluation should focus on the good points as well as the bad.

 

”Cruise Cuddle” is the appropriate alternative to “Cruise Complain” — have you never read a glowing review of a movie , book, or play — written by a critic?

[iancal]

We have never had an issue.   In the very, very few times when we have had an issue we simply changed tables.  It is that easy.  Why on earth would we continue to sit at a table that we did not enjoy for whatever reason.  From our perspective it wins over intervention or behaviour modification.

Edited July 2, 2019 by iancal

[K32682]

3 hours ago, zitsky said:

 

So who gets to decide what is inappropriate behavior?  Do you walk around to every table checking that no speech is offensive?  What do you do if you see someone around the ship wearing a tshirt from a politician you don't support?  Do you correct them too?

 

Other tables manage their own affairs. When someone at a shared table begins an offensive diatribe the options are tolerate in silence, steer the conversation in a different direction or, if unsuccessful, challenge the individual for expressing objectionable views.  I keep all options open. YMMV.  

[MicCanberra]

I think one thing that is really apparent in the last decade is that topics that used to be able to be discussed civilly now seem to be incendiary. It has got to a point where instead of a discussion with the pros and cons being made, it degrades to one of personal degradation for having an opinion that differs.

[slidergirl]

7 hours ago, navybankerteacher said:

Same here - what is the problem with being one of six or eight people around a table -listening to what others might have to say, adding a comment as might be appropriate (yes, I can read a menu, listen to others, think, and occasionally respond all at the same time).  “Appropriate” is the key word - it is not that hard - except for the occasional blowhard who does not know how to act in public.

 

I can’t help wondering if the people who find themselves unable to spend time with others might be the problem.

Please people.  Stop bashing those of us who prefer to dine without others.  You have no idea of our reasons.    I've told my reasons before:  I travel solo and have had bad experiences with people and their "oh you poor thing", "you don't have a friend you can travel with", "oh you brave thing" comments - I should not have to defend my choice of traveling solo.  I run a Front Desk at a resort hotel, so I have to make "chit chat" with guests 8 hours a day.  I can babble nonsense with the best of them.  But, when I'm on vacation, I choose to not have a "busman's holiday", but to savor time to myseIf like to take my own time with my dining.   I still remember one of my original Mindfulness practices where one takes their time with a piece of chocolate, to see how it changes as it melts in one's mouth, how it makes one feel.  I like to use that same type of practice when I have a meal, especially when it is something I have not had before.  For me, it is so nice to not have to always have to appear engaged when someone is talking about their last surgery, their 50 cruises, their hatred for Justin Trudeau, their love for their dog, their hatred for Megan Rapinoe or Tom Brady..   I am NOT unable to spend time with others, I CHOOSE NOT TO.   

 

May we please stop now?  

[sfaaa]

On July 1, 2019 at 3:46 AM, K32682 said:

 

I will request 2-tops as well.  Should that not be possible I do not intend to idly sit there dining as some mouth-breather rants about Muslims, gays, minorities, Democrats, Jews or any other offensive subject.  Silence is consent. 

I get it. You like confrontation over exercising restraint and self control. Yes,it would be best you stay away from other guests and dine on your own.

[zitsky]

38 minutes ago, slidergirl said:

Please people.  Stop bashing those of us who prefer to dine without others.  You have no idea of our reasons.    I've told my reasons before:  I travel solo and have had bad experiences with people and their "oh you poor thing", "you don't have a friend you can travel with", "oh you brave thing" comments - I should not have to defend my choice of traveling solo.  I run a Front Desk at a resort hotel, so I have to make "chit chat" with guests 8 hours a day.  I can babble nonsense with the best of them.  But, when I'm on vacation, I choose to not have a "busman's holiday", but to savor time to myseIf like to take my own time with my dining.   I still remember one of my original Mindfulness practices where one takes their time with a piece of chocolate, to see how it changes as it melts in one's mouth, how it makes one feel.  I like to use that same type of practice when I have a meal, especially when it is something I have not had before.  For me, it is so nice to not have to always have to appear engaged when someone is talking about their last surgery, their 50 cruises, their hatred for Justin Trudeau, their love for their dog, their hatred for Megan Rapinoe or Tom Brady..   I am NOT unable to spend time with others, I CHOOSE NOT TO.   

 

May we please stop now?  

 

You might want to publish your travel schedule so we can all avoid talking to you.  Don't want to ruin your vacation.

[iancal]

slidergirl...you point is well taken.  It is one of the reasons why we opt for anytime dining.  There are many times when we simply want to dine alone.  

 

And there are some evenings  when we especially want not want to hear how gifted some cruisers children are or how important their jobs are to world peace..  Same for grandchildren, pets, medical challenges, amazing number of past cruises,  politics, religion, etc.  We do not care what others think about our politicians and we do not care about politicians in jurisdictions where we do not live or vote.  Nor do we want to hear all about it. 

 

Sometimes we just want to be alone.  Terrible, selfish, self absorbed, introverts....call it whatever you like.  We do not really care what others think. 

Edited July 2, 2019 by iancal

[slidergirl]

13 minutes ago, zitsky said:

 

You might want to publish your travel schedule so we can all avoid talking to you.  Don't want to ruin your vacation.

Well, aren't you friendly... 🙄

 

Why does my desire to travel and dine solo upset you so much that you felt the need to bash?  Would you feel better if I sat at your table for 10, but put in my noise-cancelling earphones?   If I'm sitting at the bar and someone tries to strike up a conversation, I am most happy to engage as long as it is civil.  If I'm sitting at a table at the buffet for breakfast and there are empty chairs and someone asks to join, I'm OK.  But, dinner is my time.   If I'm eating in the MDR, I will take a 2-top.  If I'm eating in the buffet, I will do my best to have a small table to myself.

 

A prime example why I prefer  to relax, refresh, and reflect without interruption.

[slidergirl]

20 minutes ago, iancal said:

slidergirl...you point is well taken.  It is one of the reasons why we opt for anytime dining.  There are many times when we simply want to dine alone.  

 

And there are some evenings  when we especially want not want to hear how gifted some cruisers children are or how important their jobs are to world peace..  Same for grandchildren, pets, medical challenges, amazing number of past cruises,  politics, religion, etc.  We do not care what others think about our politicians and we do not care about politicians in jurisdictions where we do not live or vote.  Nor do we want to hear all about it. 

 

Sometimes we just want to be alone.  Terrible, selfish, self absorbed, introverts....call it whatever you like.  We do not really care what others think. 

 

I just get tired and annoyed when, year after year, people on CC call us non-table-sharers social defects, selfish, introverts, self-absorbed.   As I said before, I could dazzle a table of Chatty Cathys and Charlies with stories of drunk Supreme Court Justices, Presidential candidates behaving badly, having the entire Kingston Clan with their multiple wives (and children) meet at the hotel for one of their scam business (look up "Kingston Clan"), people trying to get their pet past me as a "service" animal, the interminable number of self-important "Do You Know Who I Am" people, people in the hot tubs late at night who don't know we can see them, all the nice celebrities I have met on the job...  

[MicCanberra]

Perhaps a book of anecdotes is required.

People can still read all about these stories (at the table) so that you dine in peace.😀

[Mike981]

On 7/1/2019 at 2:52 PM, MicCanberra said:

Certainly, we don' have coffee either but we often have a baileys.

 

Years ago we were at a new Sandals resort and I asked for a Baileys after dinner, it was the biggest glass of Baileys I have ever had. Think pint beer glass to the top with a little ice thrown in.

[slidergirl]

3 minutes ago, MicCanberra said:

Perhaps a book of anecdotes is required.

People can still read all about these stories (at the table) so that you dine in peace.😀

 A concierge friend of mine and I are considering writing a "tell all" book, but we have to wait until our non-disclosures are expired 😉

[MicCanberra]

6 minutes ago, Mike981 said:

 

Years ago we were at a new Sandals resort and I asked for a Baileys after dinner, it was the biggest glass of Baileys I have ever had. Think pint beer glass to the top with a little ice thrown in.

I wouldn't mind that at all.

[MicCanberra]

6 minutes ago, slidergirl said:

 A concierge friend of mine and I are considering writing a "tell all" book, but we have to wait until our non-disclosures are expired 😉

LOL, do it, you could even add some cruise table stories.

[zitsky]

27 minutes ago, slidergirl said:

Well, aren't you friendly... 🙄

 

Why does my desire to travel and dine solo upset you so much that you felt the need to bash?  Would you feel better if I sat at your table for 10, but put in my noise-cancelling earphones?   If I'm sitting at the bar and someone tries to strike up a conversation, I am most happy to engage as long as it is civil.  If I'm sitting at a table at the buffet for breakfast and there are empty chairs and someone asks to join, I'm OK.  But, dinner is my time.   If I'm eating in the MDR, I will take a 2-top.  If I'm eating in the buffet, I will do my best to have a small table to myself.

 

A prime example why I prefer  to relax, refresh, and reflect without interruption.

 

It doesn't matter to me in the slightest what you do.  You are the one who said you want to be alone.

[slidergirl]

3 minutes ago, zitsky said:

 

It doesn't matter to me in the slightest what you do.  You are the one who said you want to be alone.

well, then, why did you say I should publish my schedule so you could avoid talking to me???    Seems that some could possibly get upset if someone sat at a table and wasn't impressed by someone's superior intellect and his/her ability to talk about it...