Ever have awful Table mates?

[navybankerteacher]

2 hours ago, slidergirl said:

Please people.  Stop bashing those of us who prefer to dine without others.  You have no idea of our reasons.    

...

 I am NOT unable to spend time with others, I CHOOSE NOT TO.   

...

2 hours ago, slidergirl said:

 

May we please stop now?  

This thread is about awful table mates - which might be the reason some people elect two-tops or solo dining.  

 

Some  of us prefer common tables - and while we might have had some bad experiences with boors, loudmouths, bigots, etc. , we do not want to give up on the experience.    I do not think many on this thread are talking negatively about those who opt to dine alone or just with a partner - we do sometimes talk about people who do not know how to get along with others at meal times - and still wind up at common tables.

 

I think some people here who’s attention span is weak may make negative comments about “anti-socials” — but the topic here is really how to deal with the louts who do not know how to be “with people”  - and still inflict themselves —  not about people who simply prefer to be alone.

[VennDiagram]

2 hours ago, slidergirl said:

 

May we please stop now?  

 

You are under no obligation to continue reading or participating in the thread.  Just scroll past it.

 

[iancal]

slidergirl...what all these years of travel without red cross kit or a roll of duct tape.  How on earth did you ever manage it

Edited July 2, 2019 by iancal

[Mike981]

I believe I have told Slidergirl this before, but I get her reasons and don't understand why anyone would care how she chooses to spend her money on her vacation. It is a strong person that can be comfortable in their own skin, especially by themselves.

My 24 year old daughter is very comfortable traveling by herself. Last summer she spent four months traveling in her small car camping and staying in hostels all over the western US. Next month she is going to Iceland for three weeks in a camper van she is renting, and again by herself.

 

This thread is getting hard to tell who is just enjoying the game of arguing, those that are just plain silly in their reasoning and those who just want everyone to think like them.

 

I love traveling so I meet new interesting people, on their comfort level. It would make me sad if they felt they have to change to appease me. There is no right or wrong on the table question.

 

Table for one or a table for 14, either way I hope you have fantastic travels.

 

[zitsky]

That's the thing about the internet.  Not everyone is going to agree.

 

I don't mean to be nasty to anyone.  But if someone says "I like to do X.", then I like to ask why.  People are free to ignore the question.  I can't force anyone to speak when they don't want to.

Edited July 3, 2019 by zitsky

[wwcruisers]

1 hour ago, Mike981 said:

My 24 year old daughter is very comfortable traveling by herself. Last summer she spent four months traveling in her small car camping and staying in hostels all over the western US. Next month she is going to Iceland for three weeks in a camper van she is renting, and again by herself.

 

You clearly raised a strong, intelligent, confident young woman -- Congratulations!!😎

 

 

[slidergirl]

2 hours ago, iancal said:

slidergirl...what all these years of travel without red cross kit or a roll of duct tape.  How on earth did you ever manage it

Oh, I bring duct tape!  From my old backpacking days up in the Sierras in the 70s...  I never thought of having to haul a red cross kit!  I could do almost everything with my duct tape 😉

 

[K32682]

16 hours ago, sfaaa said:

I get it. You like confrontation over exercising restraint and self control. Yes,it would be best you stay away from other guests and dine on your own.

 

Restraint is not limitless, nor is it a virtue when a bigot, racist, religious zealot, bully or obnoxious political partisan is dominating the conversation at your table.  Confrontation is not enjoyable but there are times when it is appropriate.  

 

Meanwhile, the timid and meek hide behind social niceties to defend their inaction.  They are the ones who will in the aftermath take you aside and say, "Thank-you for saying what I was thinking. I'm glad someone spoke up."  

[zitsky]

17 minutes ago, K32682 said:

 

Restraint is not limitless, nor is it a virtue when a bigot, racist, religious zealot, bully or obnoxious political partisan is dominating the conversation at your table.  Confrontation is not enjoyable but there are times when it is appropriate.  

 

Meanwhile, the timid and meek hide behind social niceties to defend their inaction.  They are the ones who will in the aftermath take you aside and say, "Thank-you for saying what I was thinking. I'm glad someone spoke up."  

 

What is your definition of a bully?

[navybankerteacher]

44 minutes ago, K32682 said:

 

Restraint is not limitless, nor is it a virtue when a bigot, racist, religious zealot, bully or obnoxious political partisan is dominating the conversation at your table.  Confrontation is not enjoyable but there are times when it is appropriate.  

 

Meanwhile, the timid and meek hide behind social niceties to defend their inaction.  They are the ones who will in the aftermath take you aside and say, "Thank-you for saying what I was thinking. I'm glad someone spoke up."  

 There is a third alternative -  simply intelligently pointing out that the tone is not appropriate - not timidly or meekly - but without matching someone’s political partisanship with your own opposing political partisanship.  

 

Not or as much fun, perhaps - but actually more effective.

 

 

[c-boy]

this is getting exciting 

 

 

[Cruzaholic41]

6 hours ago, K32682 said:

 

Restraint is not limitless, nor is it a virtue when a bigot, racist, religious zealot, bully or obnoxious political partisan is dominating the conversation at your table.  Confrontation is not enjoyable but there are times when it is appropriate.  

 

Meanwhile, the timid and meek hide behind social niceties to defend their inaction.  They are the ones who will in the aftermath take you aside and say, "Thank-you for saying what I was thinking. I'm glad someone spoke up."  

 

This is not the proper response. Like NBT said, countering an extremist with your extremist views does nothing to solve the matter. To the rest of the audience, it only makes you both look like you have issues. 

[sfaaa]

6 hours ago, K32682 said:

 

Restraint is not limitless, nor is it a virtue when a bigot, racist, religious zealot, bully or obnoxious political partisan is dominating the conversation at your table.  Confrontation is not enjoyable but there are times when it is appropriate.  

 

Meanwhile, the timid and meek hide behind social niceties to defend their inaction.  They are the ones who will in the aftermath take you aside and say, "Thank-you for saying what I was thinking. I'm glad someone spoke up."  

You want to be the MDR social justice and political correctness commando, then apply for the job with ship security on embarkation. You are no more special than any other guests on the ship nor does the cruise line ask you to act as a MDR table moderator. So no thanks, you can save your combat mission against all social evils at your table for one. I won't be needing your volunteering service.

[MicCanberra]

5 hours ago, c-boy said:

this is getting exciting 

 

 

[zitsky]

1 minute ago, MicCanberra said:

 

Is that with extra butter, because I prefer without?

[MicCanberra]

2 minutes ago, zitsky said:

 

Is that with extra butter, because I prefer without?

Without, but you can add extra controversy if you wish.

[K32682]

1 hour ago, sfaaa said:

You want to be the MDR social justice and political correctness commando, then apply for the job with ship security on embarkation. You are no more special than any other guests on the ship nor does the cruise line ask you to act as a MDR table moderator. So no thanks, you can save your combat mission against all social evils at your table for one. I won't be needing your volunteering service.

 

It is, of course, up to the individual to decide whether to remain mute and docile while bigotry, racism, misogyny, attacks on religions, sexual preference, partisan political rants etc. are openly voiced in your presence at their table in the MDR.  Some of us make different choices.  

 

Edited July 3, 2019 by K32682

[zitsky]

The mistake is thinking that you should answer hate with hate.

[K32682]

4 minutes ago, zitsky said:

The mistake is thinking that you should answer hate with hate.

 

The mistake is made by those thinking the appropriate response to bigotry, racism, misogyny, attacks on religions, sexual preference, partisan political rants and other offending discussion at a shared dinner table is polite silence.  

[Geezer Cruiser]

45 minutes ago, K32682 said:

 

It is, of course, up to the individual to decide whether to remain mute and docile while bigotry, racism, misogyny, attacks on religions, sexual preference, partisan political rants etc. are openly voiced in your presence at their table in the MDR.  Some of us make different choices.  

 

 

What kind of cruises do you go on? 😱

[julie3fan]

30 minutes ago, Geezer Cruiser said:

 

What kind of cruises do you go on? 😱

 

I wondered the same thing!  I've cruised just over 200 days total, and I can say we've never encountered any of the subjects K32682 keeps referring to.  There might have been one or two overly proud grandma's, but hearing a little bit about little Johnny didn't incite rage. 🙂

[MicCanberra]

Just now, julie3fan said:

 

I wondered the same thing!  I've cruised just over 200 days total, and I can say we've never encountered any of the subjects K32682 keeps referring to.  There might have been one or two overly proud grandma's, but hearing a little bit about little Johnny didn't incite rage. 🙂

I suppose it may depend on what Johnny's surname is.😋

[Geezer Cruiser]

Having just come back from a Viking river cruise, I just wanted to alert some posters here that those may not be to their liking. The main dining room had no twosomes; I believe the minimum table size was six places? 

 

 

 

 

[zitsky]

I've been on two river cruises and always had a good time with people at those large tables.  But you're right.  If you prefer to be alone, then Viking river cruises may not be right for you.

[MicCanberra]

11 minutes ago, zitsky said:

I've been on two river cruises and always had a good time with people at those large tables.  But you're right.  If you prefer to be alone, then Viking river cruises may not be right for you.

River cruising tends to be more social in the Dining room 6 and 8 tops.