Sex offender in restricted ports

[Cruiser_1977]

On 6/30/2019 at 11:36 AM, tony_117 said:

I'm a registered sex offender because of something that happened over 20 years.  I'm not here to get into that but I am looking at going on a cruise that departs from Florida and goes to the Western Caribbean (It is on a cruise line allows sex offenders to travel).  Some of the ports of call don't allow sex offenders (namely Mexico).  If I try to enter the country will they just make me return to the ship or will they make me cut my trip short and fly home?  And if I don't try to get off the ship, will I be OK on the ship or will they still send be back being I am in Mexican waters?

@anankae The OP asked two direct questions (In bold above). I provided the safest advice in order to get the correct information "from the horses" mouth. Your advice to "fly under the radar" is not based on factual, legal information FROM MEXICO. You have no idea what could happen, which is what OP asked. Your advice could end up with him in a Mexican jail!

 

As for your most recent response - If you break a rule/law there are consequences. In this case one of the consequences was to be listed on the registry. This further results in other restrictions (i.e. travel restrictions). Do the crime, do the time. Until the registry is changed, fixed, edited, whatever it is there and should be respected.

 

I have friends that due to their careers are unable to travel to certain countries. My travel buddy to CUBA had to fill out like 3 forms in order to travel there with me. Two before leaving and one upon return. They knew the policy before accepting the position. They just GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! Travel is a privilege not a right.

Edited October 23, 2019 by JennyB1977

[SRF]

1 hour ago, sanger727 said:

he was a 19 year old having sex with a 14 year old. That is no ok. How would you feel if you were that girl's mom? Probably like your underage, child daughter was taken advantage of by an older adult man. Because she was. What hopefully everyone adult and child is learning in the age of online dating, chat rooms, and hook up apps is the inherit dangers in meeting people one on one, especially for the purpose of random hook ups. You have 35 year old men posing at 16 year old men, 14 year old girls posing as 21 year old girls, cops posing as either one during sting operations, etc.

 

And I was also a friend's wedding, where there was an attractive woman, that most figured was 21.

 

She was 12.

 

If she had ID that said she was 20, NO ONE would have questioned her ID as not being accurate.

 

I am just saying, only blaming ONE side, when there is a lot going on is not reasonable.

[sanger727]

12 minutes ago, SRF said:

 

And I was also a friend's wedding, where there was an attractive woman, that most figured was 21.

 

She was 12.

 

If she had ID that said she was 20, NO ONE would have questioned her ID as not being accurate.

 

I am just saying, only blaming ONE side, when there is a lot going on is not reasonable.

And blaming a 12 year old for looking old for her age is victim blaming. She is not emotionally mature enough to be held responsible. The 21 year old is. In my state, sex under any circumstances with a person under 13 is rape. No if ands or buts about it. If you don’t like that, don’t have sex with 12 year olds. I fail to see how this is an unreasonable stance. If your answer is ‘I didn’t know she was 12’ then you probably don’t know her well enough to have sex with her. We are living in a day and age where adults are responsible for their decisions and have some duty to protect themselves.

Edited October 23, 2019 by sanger727

[ed01106]

1 minute ago, sanger727 said:

And blaming a 12 year old for looking old for her age is victim blaming. She is not emotionally mature enough to be held responsible. The 21 year old is. In my state, sex under any circumstances with a person under 13 is rape. No if ands or buts about it. If you don’t like that, don’t have sex with 12 year olds. I fail to see how this is an unreasonable stance. 

Not blaming her for looking 21.  But if she lies about her age and someone else reasonably believes her lie because her lie is believable, then she is responsible for her lie.  

[anankae]

1 hour ago, JennyB1977 said:

Do the crime, do the time. Until the registry is changed, fixed, edited, whatever it is there and should be respected.

 

Do the crime do the time applies to everyone except sex offenders. No other crime gets its own special registry where you are hung out to dry for people to punish you for the rest of your life. The Supreme Court has ruled the registry is not punitive but tell that to any person who's on it.

 

Until the registry is changed, fixed? Dream on. Majority of the time when sex offender laws are changed, it's for the worst. As my friend says, what's done is done, deal with it, live your life. We're adapting and dealing with it. 

 

And yes, he files the paperwork every time we cruise. Notification of International Travel of Sex Offender is what is states. We have yet to be denied disembarking at a Mexican port. In Cozumel, aside from the dogs that sniff us for contraband, the only thing the people there care about is our money. Do I have to say stay away from men in uniform carrying assault rifles? 

 

I'll concede there is a miniscule chance we might have a problem in Mexico. We don't think it's great enough to avoid cruising. This only applies to cruising as a vacation. Flying in, planning to stay more than a few hours, that's another issue entirely. Traveling on business is a different issue. Using a cruise as an easy way to enter a country and do something you're not supposed to is another issue.

 

The OP was asking about vacation cruising to a port and disembarking there. I was relaying in my experience, it's possible to do so. YMMV.

Edited October 23, 2019 by anankae

[plaz70]

In PA, one can be put on the registry for "interference with the custody of a child".  That could mean a non custodial parent returned a child a few hours late and the custodial parent gets mad and reports it.  There doesn't need to be any type of child abuse to get put on the registry for this reason.

[sanger727]

17 hours ago, ed01106 said:

Not blaming her for looking 21.  But if she lies about her age and someone else reasonably believes her lie because her lie is believable, then she is responsible for her lie.  

 

And children never lie about their age because they think it makes them cool to act like they are older? That's part of the whole emotional immaturity thing. No, she is not at fault for being raped because she lied. I'm not going to keep commenting on this. This is so far off the travel community forum this is supposed to be and off the initial topic posted. And I'm terribly disappointed that in this day and age people still think this way.

[ed01106]

2 hours ago, sanger727 said:

 

And children never lie about their age because they think it makes them cool to act like they are older? That's part of the whole emotional immaturity thing. No, she is not at fault for being raped because she lied. I'm not going to keep commenting on this. This is so far off the travel community forum this is supposed to be and off the initial topic posted. And I'm terribly disappointed that in this day and age people still think this way.

Do you also hold this opinion when it comes to alcohol?

 

E.g. A minor (say 16 yo) under false pretenses obtains a fake id, uses that id to acquire booze, gets drunk, kills some in a DUI. Is the minor blameless because it is cool to pretend they are older than they are?  

 

I don’t want minors having sex.  But if two people have consensual  sex and neither has any reason to believe the other is underage, it shouldn’t be considered rape.  

[NLH Arizona]

20 minutes ago, ed01106 said:

I don’t want minors having sex.  But if two people have consensual  sex and neither has any reason to believe the other is underage, it shouldn’t be considered rape.  

I would agree in part, but if someone has sex with a twelve year old, they are having sex with a child and should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.  

[Zach1213]

This thread is going well...

[broberts]

9 hours ago, ed01106 said:

Do you also hold this opinion when it comes to alcohol?

 

E.g. A minor (say 16 yo) under false pretenses obtains a fake id, uses that id to acquire booze, gets drunk, kills some in a DUI. Is the minor blameless because it is cool to pretend they are older than they are?  

 

 

Not even close to an analogus situation. If a minor is served alcohol after presenting a fake id the bar is still guilty of serving a minor. It might also see a civil suit by the victims family. The minor is guilty of breaking one of more laws related to using a fake id, dui, and causing death.

[ed01106]

52 minutes ago, broberts said:

 

 If a minor is served alcohol after presenting a fake id the bar is still guilty of serving a minor. 

False.  

[ldubs]

13 hours ago, broberts said:

 

 If a minor is served alcohol after presenting a fake id the bar is still guilty of serving a minor.

 

12 hours ago, ed01106 said:

False.  

 

Interesting question.  It looks like this varies by state.  

[SRF]

Might as well throw gasoline on the fire:

 

In 1880, the age of consent was set at 10 or 12 in most states, with the exception of Delaware where it was 7

[geekybeth]

Tony_117, did you ever find out how this works? If Carnival cancels the cruise, how soon before the cruise do the notify you? I am scheduled for a cruise in December and my husband is a RSO... for something that happened over 20 years ago... I totally get you. 😞 I am wondering if we will be notified in advance or if they will just not let him board... I do not want him to be humiliated...

[Cruiser_1977]

@geekybeth I believe Carnival is one of the lines with a ban on RSOs. To confirm you can call and ask without providing your name, etc. Also, depending on your state he may be required to inform authorities of his travel plans. I'd also make sure that if you plan to get off of the ship, you know the rules/laws of the countries you'll be visiting.

[alexspepa]

 read recently that the Patty Wetterling -  woman behind bringing the National Sex Registry to life now regrets her decision because it has gone so far off the rails as to what it was supposed to be...

 

In an interview with award-winning investigative reporter Madeleine Baran, she said she regrets her role in creating a public registry that is counterproductive, in shaming and ostracizing individuals rather than helping them reintegrate into society.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/witness/201612/inside-the-bungled-case-spawned-sex-offender-registries

[Elaine5715]

On 10/23/2019 at 1:45 PM, SRF said:

So a 19 or 20 year old guy, meets a female online.  Not in a sex chat room, but a normal forum, like Cruise Critic.

 

She says she is 18 or 19, and they like each other so they meet.

 

She looks 18 or 19, she has a fake ID that says she is 18 or 19.  But he is actually 17.

 

And it is ALL on the guy?

 

REALLY?

 

And interestingly, some states in the US have an age of consent WELL below 18.  In 30 states, it is 16.

 

In 1880, the age of consent was 10 or 12 in most states.  I guess as time goes on, people mature at a later age.

 

One of the reasons there should be some way of age verification and requirement of 18+ for here.  That could help identify both the posters who claim to be children and the children who claim to be adults.  

[Elaine5715]

On 10/23/2019 at 2:48 PM, anankae said:

 

This kills me. Really? Travel elsewhere. Where? Where do you suggest I go? Should I stop cruising because Mexico doesn't like sex offenders? Because Jamaica doesn't like sex offenders? In recent years, the list of countries that don't allow sex offenders has gotten a lot longer.

 

I am not the sex offender yet I am being inconvenienced. Should I ditch my friend, find a new cruising partner? {facepalm}

 

{grumble} This is why I go off and don't read threads like this for 4 months at a time. I can't wallow in what-ifs or he-shouldn't-have-dones or all-sex-offenders-should-be-shot-no-matter-what-their-offense. I have to be pragmatic about this.

 

I am really really frustrated atm cause the Texas legislature just rewrote large sections of the sex offender portion of the Penal Code making it a lot harder for someone to qualify for deregistration. Thanks so much.

Other countries do get to decide who they allow in their country.  Let's not discount the US court system that allows sweet plea deals, letting rapists "who have a bright future" off with a slap on the wrist.

 

 

[ducklite]

On 10/23/2019 at 12:40 PM, ldubs said:

 

Well, I know I should avoid this thread because some of the comments I find just sad, particularly ones using the Lolita defense.  An adult has certain responsibilities with regards to minors.  I think you said it well.  

However take a guy who has been dating a gal for 18 months and they've been intimate for the last six. She's a couple years younger.  It was all good until the day the guy turns 18.  And then suddenly a day on a calendar makes him a criminal?  That's absurd.

[ed01106]

45 minutes ago, ducklite said:

However take a guy who has been dating a gal for 18 months and they've been intimate for the last six. She's a couple years younger.  It was all good until the day the guy turns 18.  And then suddenly a day on a calendar makes him a criminal?  That's absurd.

In most states that can't happen. Typically the law is based on the age of the younger person and how much older the older person is.....so a 12 yo having sex with a 9 year old is the same crime as an 18 yo with a 15 yo.  And typically it is not based on whole number of years old, but exact length of time between birthdays.  

[ldubs]

1 hour ago, ducklite said:

However take a guy who has been dating a gal for 18 months and they've been intimate for the last six. She's a couple years younger.  It was all good until the day the guy turns 18.  And then suddenly a day on a calendar makes him a criminal?  That's absurd.

 

Sure, there are always ifs, ands or buts (or in your case, a however).  What you describe has nothing to do with justifying sex with a minor because the minor is well developed for her age.  

 

Drunk guy taking a leak on the side of a building?  Yeah I agree he should be slapped upside the head, fined, and given serious community service chores instead of being placed on a list of sexual offenders.   Old guy can't hold it?  Shouldn't be on a list of sexual offenders.   Adult having sex with a minor.  Not so clear cut.  The law is there because a minor is determined to not have the wisdom or experience needed to make certain decisions.   How do you change the law to define when a minor can consent to sex or not?  Not an easy subject to address IMO.  

 

    

[ducklite]

8 minutes ago, ldubs said:

 

Sure, there are always ifs, ands or buts (or in your case, a however).  What you describe has nothing to do with justifying sex with a minor because the minor is well developed for her age.  

 

Drunk guy taking a leak on the side of a building?  Yeah I agree he should be slapped upside the head, fined, and given serious community service chores instead of being placed on a list of sexual offenders.   Old guy can't hold it?  Shouldn't be on a list of sexual offenders.   Adult having sex with a minor.  Not so clear cut.  The law is there because a minor is determined to not have the wisdom or experience needed to make certain decisions.   How do you change the law to define when a minor can consent to sex or not?  Not an easy subject to address IMO.  

 

    

I'm not advocating a 40 year old have sex with a 14 year old.  In that case, lock him up.

 

But not all states have Romeo and Juliet laws.  At 16 a teenagers can work and in most states drive.  That means they are deemed to have reached a level of maturity.  At that point there should be no law against consensual relations, as long as the older partner is less than three years older.  I'd even go as far to say that three years should apply to 15 year old's.  (My boyfriend in high school turned 18 about 10 days before I turned 16.)  Younger than that, nope.

 

That said, there should also be penalties against minors who lie about their age.  Particularly in this day and age when it's easy enough to see the text trail on a phone or private messaging on social media so there is proof that the younger person lied.  Once some of these younger people start seeing their peers charged with crimes, the lying might stop.

[ldubs]

2 minutes ago, ducklite said:

I'm not advocating a 40 year old have sex with a 14 year old.  In that case, lock him up.

 

But not all states have Romeo and Juliet laws.  At 16 a teenagers can work and in most states drive.  That means they are deemed to have reached a level of maturity.  At that point there should be no law against consensual relations, as long as the older partner is less than three years older.  I'd even go as far to say that three years should apply to 15 year old's.  (My boyfriend in high school turned 18 about 10 days before I turned 16.)  Younger than that, nope.

 

That said, there should also be penalties against minors who lie about their age.  Particularly in this day and age when it's easy enough to see the text trail on a phone or private messaging on social media so there is proof that the younger person lied.  Once some of these younger people start seeing their peers charged with crimes, the lying might stop.

 

Yeah,  I don't know what age gaps or other revisions if any should be made.  It is just going to a very sticky subject when it comes down to changing existing laws.   18 year old talks a 15 year old into having sex?  I personally would not be comfortable with a law that allowed that.    People are going to be all over the board on this one.   

[ducklite]

7 minutes ago, ldubs said:

 

Yeah,  I don't know what age gaps or other revisions if any should be made.  It is just going to a very sticky subject when it comes down to changing existing laws.   18 year old talks a 15 year old into having sex?  I personally would not be comfortable with a law that allowed that.    People are going to be all over the board on this one.   

 

Like I said, I was still 15 for about 10 days after my boyfriend turned 18.