Baby Mama

[lyannea]

Yes, it’s complicated - 10 years ago

 

My nephew and girlfriend had a baby

 

They lived together for 5 years

 

They split and both remarried

 

For  the last 5 years, they split custody 

 

Alternating weeks- 

 

Nothing in writing ( I know !)

 

Baby Mama announces that she’s paid for a family cruise with new husband’s family, to include my nephew’s son

 

and

He will miss the first week of school 

 

Does Baby Mama need any papers from nephew, the father - okaying the trip ?

 

Thanks for the read and any answers !

 

Nephew is upset that his son will miss school and was not asked first

 

Lyannea

 

 

[Shmoo here]

6 minutes ago, lyannea said:

Yes, it’s complicated - 10 years ago

 

My nephew and girlfriend had a baby

 

They lived together for 5 years

 

They split and both remarried

 

For  the last 5 years, they split custody 

 

Alternating weeks- 

 

Nothing in writing ( I know !)

 

Baby Mama announces that she’s paid for a family cruise with new husband’s family, to include my nephew’s son

 

and

He will miss the first week of school 

 

Does Baby Mama need any papers from nephew, the father - okaying the trip ?

 

Thanks for the read and any answers !

 

Nephew is upset that his son will miss school and was not asked first

 

Lyannea

 

 

Who's the baby's official father?   Was your nephew's name on the birth certificate?  Did the new husband adopt the baby?

 

All that matters, as a minor typically can't travel out of the country without both (legal) parent's permission.

 

 

[Grandma Dazzles]

Depends on lots of things - cruise line, countries visited, US citizens?  Will child need a passport?

 

Probably need more help than available on a public forum. Suggest both parents see a lawyer and get their situation in writing.  Also find out more about the cruise and what is required to take the child. 

[dolittle]

Tell your nephew to get over the ''I was not asked first's'' and do what is best for his kid .Give them what they need and wish them a good time . Missing the first week of school is not a big deal . In these situations it is best to be the bigger(better) person. 

[lyannea]

13 minutes ago, Shmoo here said:

Who's the baby's official father?   Was your nephew's name on the birth certificate?  Did the new husband adopt the baby?

 

All that matters, as a minor typically can't travel out of the country without both (legal) parent's permission.

 

 

The baby’s official father and on the birth certificate is my nephew

 

Baby Mama’s husband did NOT adopt. Baby Mama just married him 2 years ago and it’s his family reunion. 

 

thank you for the information !

 

Lyannea

[lyannea]

10 minutes ago, dolittle said:

Tell your nephew to get over the ''I was not asked first's'' and do what is best for his kid .Give them what they need and wish them a good time . Missing the first week of school is not a big deal . In these situations it is best to be the bigger(better) person. 

 

10 minutes ago, dolittle said:

Tell your nephew to get over the ''I was not asked first's'' and do what is best for his kid .Give them what they need and wish them a good time . Missing the first week of school is not a big deal . In these situations it is best to be the bigger(better) person. 

I will let him know

 

Baby Mama is a bit unstable so I’m relieved that her new husband’s family will be there, should he go.

 

Though I have to say, if I had joint custody of a child and the other parent planned to take him out of the country,

I would  like to have been asked first , but that’s just me

[CruiserBruce]

Contact the cruise line involved and find out what they require under their policies and procedures. The cruise lines are used to dealing with this...they will get you through it. The cruise line doesn't want any legal issues in this area to occur.

[Shmoo here]

4 minutes ago, lyannea said:

The baby’s official father and on the birth certificate is my nephew

 

Baby Mama’s husband did NOT adopt. Baby Mama just married him 2 years ago and it’s his family reunion. 

 

thank you for the information !

 

Lyannea

The mother needs to contact the cruise line and ask about the policy regarding taking minor children onboard.

 

Not a bad idea to also check with the US state department website and see what their take on it would be.

[lyannea]

Just now, Shmoo here said:

The mother needs to contact the cruise line and ask about the policy regarding taking minor children onboard.

 

Not a bad idea to also check with the US state department website and see what their take on it would be.

 

Just now, Shmoo here said:

The mother needs to contact the cruise line and ask about the policy regarding taking minor children onboard.

 

Not a bad idea to also check with the US state department website and see what their take on it would be.

Great idea!

 

We don’t know the cruise line just yet

All we know is that it’s during the first week of school

which is August 16th in Texas 

[lyannea]

33 minutes ago, Grandma Dazzles said:

Depends on lots of things - cruise line, countries visited, US citizens?  Will child need a passport?

 

Probably need more help than available on a public forum. Suggest both parents see a lawyer and get their situation in writing.  Also find out more about the cruise and what is required to take the child. 

Thank you for your response

 

Not sure of the cruise line- we’re trying 

to find that out

Parents and child  are US citizens 

 

Mother has said that the child only needs a birth certificate

though she’s known to lie in the past

 

i agree on asking a lawyer- 

my nephew is not happy 

 

Thanks again

Lyannea

[Shmoo here]

3 minutes ago, lyannea said:

Mother has said that the child only needs a birth certificate

though she’s known to lie in the past

Yes, typically, legally all that's required for US citizens on a closed loop cruise (begins and ends in the same US port) is a birth certificate, plus (for those 16 and over) a government issued photo ID.

 

But, that usually means that because both parents are traveling with the child, therefore giving "permission" for the child to be taken out of the country.  In this instance that's not really happening.  Unless, of course, the mom's husband says he's the father, if asked.  Then he's lying and that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish.

 

If your nephew is OK with them taking the child (after thinking about it), I think the mom probably should ask him to write a permission letter specifying dates of travel and to where, and who's responsible for said child.

 

 

[dolittle]

We have a daughter and have more than a few times take our grand kids(not the same last name) out of the country .The first times we took a letter (notarized) .Then we got smart and had an undated letter we had just in case. Some lines asked for one some did not (have no idea why) we had the same letter for many years .

[lyannea]

1 minute ago, Shmoo here said:

Yes, typically, legally all that's required for US citizens on a closed loop cruise (begins and ends in the same US port) is a birth certificate, plus (for those 16 and over) a government issued photo ID.

 

But, that usually means that because both parents are traveling with the child, therefore giving "permission" for the child to be taken out of the country.  In this instance that's not really happening.  Unless, of course, the mom's husband says he's the father, if asked.  Then he's lying and that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish.

 

If your nephew is OK with them taking the child (after thinking about it), I think the mom probably should ask him to write a permission letter specifying dates of travel and to where, and who's responsible for said child.

 

 

Thank you so much.

I don’t think my nephew is happy

The mother is not a responsible adult 

and he’s worried.

I will pass this information along

Lyannea

 

[lyannea]

1 minute ago, dolittle said:

We have a daughter and have more than a few times take our grand kids(not the same last name) out of the country .The first times we took a letter (notarized) .Then we got smart and had an undated letter we had just in case. Some lines asked for one some did not (have no idea why) we had the same letter for many years .

Thank you so much !

I’m hoping to find out the cruise line and the actual cruise date soon

 

Lyannea

[dolittle]

Just now, lyannea said:

Thank you so much.

I don’t think my nephew is happy

The mother is not a responsible adult 

and he’s worried.

I will pass this information along

Lyannea

 

Maybe I am off base but it seems like you and he are looking for reasons to say NO to this trip . I hope you do not spoil the fun of a 10 year old and his new family. As Dr. Phil says sometimes you need to be the hero.

 

[lyannea]

42 minutes ago, dolittle said:

Maybe I am off base but it seems like you and he are looking for reasons to say NO to this trip . I hope you do not spoil the fun of a 10 year old and his new family. As Dr. Phil says sometimes you need to be the hero.

 

 

I know what you’re saying- so much quality time with one’s family with a cruise vacay! 

I’ve experienced that as well .

 

Though when a parent has demonstrated a lack of interest in their child, it changes the dynamic.

 

i trust that my nephew will make the right decision regarding his son.

i sent him a copy of the US immigration guidelines on a minor leaving the country with one parent to him. 

Thanks for your response,

Lyannea

[LHT28]

your  nephew  should seek proper legal advice 

 

JMO

[cruisemom42]

If your son is upset, then perhaps he should have gotten something earlier "in writing" that spells out responsibilities of their custody arrangements. As they have not seen fit to do this, I'm not sure he could realistically protest what is proposed (nor do I think he should....)

 

 

[dolittle]

Just now, lyannea said:

 

I know what you’re saying- so much quality time with one’s family with a cruise vacay! 

I’ve experienced that as well .

 

Though when a parent has demonstrated a lack of interest in their child, it changes the dynamic.

 

i trust that my nephew will make the right decision regarding his son.

i sent him a copy of the US immigration guidelines on a minor leaving the country with one parent to him. 

Thanks for your response,

Lyannea

Hope it works out for everyone involved.

[lyannea]

22 minutes ago, cruisemom42 said:

If your son is upset, then perhaps he should have gotten something earlier "in writing" that spells out responsibilities of their custody arrangements. As they have not seen fit to do this, I'm not sure he could realistically protest what is proposed (nor do I think he should....)

 

 

I understand what you’re saying.

 

it is what it is and now we’re here,-

 

I’m thankful that he has his name is on his son’s birth certificate

and

That he takes more than his fair share of time and effort in being an awesome dad 

 

 

thank you for your reply and happy cruising 

 

[sanger727]

I’m a little unsure of what the situation is. Single and remarried parents take their children on cruises all the time. Typically I don’t think they are asked for documentation but a notorized letter from the other parent is theoretically needed and would be good to bring.

 

i get that your newphew is unhappy but is he actually trying to stop the trip? If not, give the letter and meet with an attorney about getting a formal custody agreement in writing. If he actually wants to stop the trip, then yes, would have to get an attorney involved now but that strikes me as a little overkill for missing 1 week of school. 

 

As a side note, this is a perfect example of why he needs to get a custody agreement in writing. I don’t know what state you are in or how the laws work there, but in Ohio, if two unmarried people have a child together, the mother automatically gets full custody until the father seeks custody rights. If that’s the case in your newphews state, he won’t have any legal leg to stand on to stop the trip anyway.

[dkjretired]

Another point not mentioned, you can check State Dept etc but that is not always helpful. You need to deal with the countries they will be visiting, countries don’t care if your leaving in a case like this , they care about you entering. Also, other countries have no requirement to follow USCourts.

With  all that being said generally there is not a problem on closed loop cruise but your final guidance has to come from the cruise line.

Edited February 10, 2019 by dkjretired

[CruisingAlong4Now]

Why isn't your "nephew" seeking to establish his legal and parental rights himself? You seem to be more interested than he. "The mother is unstable". "The mother lies". Well, it seems to me that the father is uninterested and irresponsible.

[lyannea]

20 minutes ago, CruisingAlong4Now said:

Why isn't your "nephew" seeking to establish his legal and parental rights himself? You seem to be more interested than he. "The mother is unstable". "The mother lies". Well, it seems to me that the father is uninterested and irresponsible.

 

20 minutes ago, CruisingAlong4Now said:

Why isn't your "nephew" seeking to establish his legal and parental rights himself? You seem to be more interested than he. "The mother is unstable". "The mother lies". Well, it seems to me that the father is uninterested and irresponsible.

Thank you for answering my question about what papers, if any, he would have to submit for the cruise.

 

It’s difficult to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, as we all know, without judgement 

 

 

 

Have a great Sunday

Lyannea

 

 

 

[nascarcruiser]

1 hour ago, CruisingAlong4Now said:

Why isn't your "nephew" seeking to establish his legal and parental rights himself? You seem to be more interested than he. "The mother is unstable". "The mother lies". Well, it seems to me that the father is uninterested and irresponsible.

I have to agree the Aunt seems to be more concerned than the child's father but maybe she has a CC account and he doesn't.  I guess if it were me I would have had custody orders drawn up at birth along with child support.  Also if the mother is unstable why hasn't something been done sooner?  To many questions.  All the child needs to be able to leave the country is a birth certificate at his age. now if the cruise line actually asked for and looks at a letter from the father saying that the mother has permission to taking is another story sometimes they do sometimes they don't ask for it.