How NOT to behave in my time dining.

[Scottee25]

6 hours ago, davekathy said:

Yes I do my homework before booking our cruises. No different than any other type of vacation we are planning or anything else we are purchasing.

You are wrong. All the info you needed to know about your cruise you wanted to book ten years ago was and always has been readily available, no matter what year we're talking about. We stated cruising in 1991, I didn't have a computer. But I did 20 years ago in 1999. Before that I went to a local TA or ordered from the cruise line and snail mailed me a specific cruise line brochure and decided what ship, sail date, cabin category, location and number, itineraries. Also read in their brochures what was included in the cruise including all the do's and don't and what is expected of the cruise passenger. Included in the brochures was the dress code for the MDR in the evenings. What was allowed and what wasn't. As I said we started cruising in 1991, 10 years before knowing about and joining CC. So no help there. No we could careless what others wear. If it's cool with the staff at the entrance to the MDR that's all that matters. My post to you had nothing to do with how you were dressed. Just don't use the lame weak ass excuse, "I didn't know. My girlfriend booked the cruise". How did your girlfriend book the cruise? She told you nothing about the cruise and what is expected of you while onboard the ship? Did she pack and dress like you? Were others dressed like you in the MDR? The only reason I'm curious is I really don't believe you didn't know anything about the cruise other than the cruise was leaving from San Juan. Wait a minute, possibly you thought the buffet was the MDR. Sorry I assumed. 🤣

 

Well, you really didn't answer my questions. Fine, you do your homework before booking cruises. Does your significant other put forth that same level of research? Once again, your complete lack of empathy to how others may know or what they may do to prepare prior to taking a cruise is quite unsettling. So let me break it down for you...

 

My girlfriend and I were going to Puerto Rico for her brother's wedding. She floated the idea that we spend a few days staying at her brother's house so that she could visit with family, attend the wedding, and then take a cruise out of San Juan. I was open to the idea so she contacted a travel agent. She informed me that they identified a 3 night cruise and she told me how much it cost. I agreed to go and wrote her a check for my portion of the trip. Did she tell me what ports we were going to? Did the TA give her literature from the cruise line? Don't really recall any of that. It is possible, however, it's also possible that, as a 20 something male I was being typically oblivious. So you can believe what you want. I believe you are narrow minded and will also fail to see things from other people's point of view.

 

[Scottee25]

3 hours ago, HBE4 said:

 

I got to give it up to Scottee25, at least he admits he was young and stupid and all he cared about was going away with his girlfriend and having a few frosty beverages.  Although maybe the gf should have warned him in advanced..... at least he learned from his mistake.

 

Having said all that, upon entering the MDR in swimsuit and noticing how everyone else was dressed, I would have gone back to the room to change.  I'm actually a little surprised they let him in like that on formal night. Wasn't the dress code slightly more enforced 20 years ago?

 

I prefer "blissfully ignorant" over "stupid". The former suggests the ability to learn while the latter does not 🙂

 

It was actually the first cruise for both my girlfriend and I. I am not even sure if she was even aware of the suggested attire.

 

I honestly did not notice how anyone was dressed until we sat down at our table. We were seated with 5 other couples if I recall correctly. All of them much older and much more seasoned that we were. I turned to the lady sitting next to me why everyone was all dressed up. She informed me that it was formal night. I honestly asked her what that meant. So, she explained it to me. So why didn't I go back and change? Because I was a 20 something three sheets to wind at that point. My only motivation at that point in time was to eat. As I said earlier, I don't regret the incident as we all make mistakes. I actually find it quite comical looking back on it.

[Scottee25]

2 hours ago, MJSailors said:

    When I first read Scottee25’s post about wearing swim trunks and flip flops to the MDR on a cruise 20 years ago, I thought he was pulling CC readers’ legs. I still do.

Even if it was his first cruise as a twenty-something not-knowing-much-about-cruises kind of guy, certainly he had been to a restaurant in his twenty-something years.

Did he ever go to a wedding or prom where appropriate dress was expected?

How did  his girlfriend walk into the MDR with him that evening ? Was she also wearing a swimsuit and flip flops? I would think nor,but you ever know !

      As someone who started cruising in the late 1980s, I am well aware of how cruising  used to be. Our first cruise on the Premier lines’Big Red Boat was by no means on  a luxury,upscale ship such as those on Cunard ships. However, men wore jacket and ties to dinner ,some wore tuxes, on formal night. Ladies were dressed in gowns or cocktail dresses. I remember I wore a black and gold lame dress with a peplum,for those of you who remember that style !

We were in our late twenties for that cruise. We seemed to know how to dress and enjoy the cruise. 

Subsequent cruises into the 1990’s also found passengers dressing for dinner.

       If Scottee25 actually did appear in the MDR dressed as he described, perhaps it was due to too many cold beverages on the pool deck. That seems the best explanation for such a choice of wardrobe.

 

I can assure you the incident did occur. And yes, I had been to a restaurant in my twenty-something years, however, I had never been to a fancy restaurant up until that point. Dressing up was something reserved for weddings, funerals, and job interviews. Like I said, blissfully ignorant. I don't recall exactly what my girlfriend was wearing that evening but I don't believe she was dressed up either. Was she in a swimsuit? Most likely not. But also most likely not a evening gown either.

 

You are right about one thing, my wardrobe choice was most definitely a result of too many cold beverages on the pool deck.

[Scottee25]

2 hours ago, jagsfan said:

 What a person has grown up with and is used to has a lot to do with how they handle things like dining out. 

 

 I have friends who don’t know the name of their ship or the itinerary. They rely on whoever made the booking to handle everything. So everything is a surprise to them! Every time. 

 

So very true. Growing up I had never been to a fancy restaurant. As I mentioned in a previous post, dressing up was reserved for weddings, funerals, and job interviews. We didn't frequent restaurants that required one to dress up. Cruising was my first experience to such a thing.

 

And I was that guy 20 years ago. I didn't know the name of the ship or where it was stopping. I am not sure why some people here have such a hard time believing that there are actually people out there that just don't put the same level of though into such things as they do?

[HBE4]

27 minutes ago, Scottee25 said:

I prefer "blissfully ignorant" over "stupid". The former suggests the ability to learn while the latter does not 🙂

 

Of course. Poor choice of words on my part. 😉

 

28 minutes ago, Scottee25 said:

I honestly did not notice how anyone was dressed until we sat down at our table. We were seated with 5 other couples if I recall correctly. All of them much older and much more seasoned that we were. I turned to the lady sitting next to me why everyone was all dressed up. She informed me that it was formal night. I honestly asked her what that meant. So, she explained it to me. So why didn't I go back and change? Because I was a 20 something three sheets to wind at that point. My only motivation at that point in time was to eat. As I said earlier, I don't regret the incident as we all make mistakes. I actually find it quite comical looking back on it.

 

I remember my 20's as well and making some less than sterling decisions. It's all good and makes for a good story as well. 

 

[Scottee25]

7 minutes ago, HBE4 said:

 

Of course. Poor choice of words on my part. 😉

 

 

I remember my 20's as well and making some less than sterling decisions. It's all good and makes for a good story as well. 

 

A bit of topic, but how did you split my post into two quotes? I knew how to do it using the old boards but I can't seem to get it to work with these new boards. A simple copy and past doesn't seem to do the trick.

[HBE4]

3 minutes ago, Scottee25 said:

A bit of topic, but how did you split my post into two quotes? I knew how to do it using the old boards but I can't seem to get it to work with these new boards. A simple copy and past doesn't seem to do the trick.

 

Using my mouse, I left-click, hold and highlight the portion of your post I want. When I release, a little pop-up message  comes up "quote selection". I click on it, then type my comments and go back to your post and highlight the next section I want.

[Scottee25]

2 minutes ago, HBE4 said:

Using my mouse, I left-click, hold and highlight the portion of your post I want. When I release, a little pop-up message  comes up "quote selection".

 

2 minutes ago, HBE4 said:

I click on it, then type my comments and go back to your post and highlight the next section I want.

 

Thank you very much! I was racking my brain trying to figure that out. 🙂

[voyager70]

Wow did this get ugly.

 

[davekathy]

1 hour ago, Scottee25 said:

 

Well, you really didn't answer my questions. Fine, you do your homework before booking cruises. Does your significant other put forth that same level of research? Once again, your complete lack of empathy to how others may know or what they may do to prepare prior to taking a cruise is quite unsettling. So let me break it down for you...

 

My girlfriend and I were going to Puerto Rico for her brother's wedding. She floated the idea that we spend a few days staying at her brother's house so that she could visit with family, attend the wedding, and then take a cruise out of San Juan. I was open to the idea so she contacted a travel agent. She informed me that they identified a 3 night cruise and she told me how much it cost. I agreed to go and wrote her a check for my portion of the trip. Did she tell me what ports we were going to? Did the TA give her literature from the cruise line? Don't really recall any of that. It is possible, however, it's also possible that, as a 20 something male I was being typically oblivious. So you can believe what you want. I believe you are narrow minded and will also fail to see things from other people's point of view.

 

I really did answer your question. Doesn't have to. No matter what we do we talk, share, explain and answers each other questions. If we don't know we ask a SME. We prefer to be prepared and not blindsided. 

 

Now, now no need to resort to name calling.  At least I gave you that consideration and respect. I didn't mean to tip you over. I have no problem letting you take that well traveled lower road without me.

Edited November 12, 2019 by davekathy

[HBE4]

1 hour ago, Scottee25 said:

 

 

Thank you very much! I was racking my brain trying to figure that out. 🙂

 

It's not really that intuitive.  I'm not really sure how I stumbled across it

[reallyitsmema]

23 hours ago, davekathy said:

Lame ass excuse. The suggested dress guidelines are published in all the cruise lines literature and on line as well as their cruise dailies. We all were first time cruisers at one time.  

 

46 minutes ago, davekathy said:

I really did answer your question. Doesn't have to. No matter what we do we talk, share, explain and answers each other questions. If we don't know we ask a SME. We prefer to be prepared and not blindsided. 

 

Now, now no need to resort to name calling.  At least I gave you that consideration and respect. I didn't mean to tip you over. I have no problem letting you take that well traveled lower road without me.

 

This is what you call consideration and respect?  Scottee has answered everything that the mob has thrown at him.  He made a poor choice twenty years ago and admitted it.  Really surprised this attack has been allowed to continue.

[mcgore83]

Me too!  I thought this thread was about how not to behave in the main dining room, not about the dress code.  On my first cruise in 1988, I only knew how to dress for dinner, because I was an avid fan of the Love Boat.  My husband and I, along with my SIL and BIL were seated with four other individuals.  The conversation was very uncomfortable.  After the second night, my SIL suggested that our table mates were racists.  I brushed it off and told her the tablemates were lacking in social skills.  On the third night, the older gentleman at our table asked the waiter to tell the people at the table next to us to stop speaking in a different language(Spanish) as it was irritating to him!  Then the lights went on for me!  Okay, back then I did not know you could request a different table and had no idea how to do so.We  endured the next few nights, but boy was it torture.  My point is, we all have had learning curves, this is how we grow.  So not hating on anyone who has made an uninformed choice when young and cruising.  

[davekathy]

19 minutes ago, reallyitsmema said:

 

 

This is what you call consideration and respect?  Scottee has answered everything that the mob has thrown at him.  He made a poor choice twenty years ago and admitted it.  Really surprised this attack has been allowed to continue.

I didn't resort to name calling, personal attacks or low blows. My two posts you quoted are examples of that. Just challenging his post(s) which I do believe isn't against any CC guidelines. If I have stepped over the line then the CC Mod will delete what I've posted or justifiably lock down the thread.  You have options. You can read and move on, report the thread or me or put me on ignore. You choose. P.S. I respect your opinion. 

Edited November 12, 2019 by davekathy

[SRF]

Hmm, expecting people to READ a printed brochure....

 

Look at the questions here on CC, and figure that most people will not go that far.  Can I take water on?  Takes 2 seconds to open Google, type that, and get a link to the RCI FAQ on this.

 

Or the guy in front of me going through security on our last cruise.  With a bottle of Crown Royal in his carry on.

 

It is wonderful that people DO research what they are doing and where they are going, but I would say that out of the 23 million people who cruise each year, the majority do NOT do such research.

[sgmn]

On 11/11/2019 at 1:56 AM, davekathy said:

Lame ass excuse. The suggested dress guidelines are published in all the cruise lines literature and on line as well as their cruise dailies. We all were first time cruisers at one time.  

Our first cruise was QM2, I researched the dress code before. Bought a few nice dresses, some from ebay. Got my 17 year son a really nice evening suit from a charity shop. He looked amazing 😊. Bought my 14 year old his first suit from M@S. We had a ball

[brillohead]

Great, so now the Chair Hogs have invaded the dining room as well as the pool deck and theater? 

 

What's next -- dedicated stalls in the public toilets?  

[brillohead]

10 hours ago, Scottee25 said:

A bit of topic, but how did you split my post into two quotes? I knew how to do it using the old boards but I can't seem to get it to work with these new boards. A simple copy and past doesn't seem to do the trick.

In addition to the "highlight and choose quote selection" method, you can also quote the first message, type your reply, then scroll up and quote the next message -- it will pop it up in the still-open reply box.  

Another method is to hit the "+" button that's next to the "quote" button on each message you want to quote, then click the "quote X message" button that shows up.  

 

 

[LMaxwell]

12 hours ago, davekathy said:

 At least I gave you that consideration and respect.

 

You absolutely did not show any consideration or respect to the other poster.  

[ReneeFLL]

On 11/10/2019 at 12:03 PM, Scottee25 said:

 

Only you so far. But you pretty much proved my point about how many people on these boards think. You take an incident that happened almost 20 years when I was a late 20 something first time cruiser and equate it to me being classless rather that what it really was: someone who had never been on a cruise before and was unaware of the traditions and norms one is to expect while cruising. Prior to that cruise, my impression of cruises was sun and fun. I am more aware now but I am not ashamed to have been ignorant in the beginning. However, your lack of empathy speaks volumes about you. Since my first cruise I have encountered many people who were first time cruisers. Rather than ridicule and judge, I tried to help them. But let me ask you, did your food taste any different because someone like me wore swim trunks and flip-flops to the MDR on formal night? If you go through life expecting everyone to behave as you would, you will find yourself always disappointed.

 

21 hours ago, Scottee25 said:

 

The fact that you find my excuse to be "lame ass" is quite laughable. I don't know if you are Dave or Kathy but it is clear that there are two of you. Have both of you fully researched every cruise you have been on? Or would you say one party put in more effort than the other? Would you say that researching today is easier than it was 20 years ago? It's actually a rhetorical question. 20 years ago much of this information was not readily available. Regardless, in many situations, one person does the bulk of the research. Take a poll of the women on this site and ask them how many of their husbands put in as much research as they do. I am sure you will find a decent number who say their husbands only care to know what days they need to request off from work. Aside from that, they really don't put much thought into it. That was me, 20 years ago. That's still a lot of people today. I didn't research the cruise. It was something my girlfriend booked. I simply knew we were sailing out of San Juan, and that's all I knew. I didn't read the daily Compass. I was there to drink cold beverages pool side in the sun. To this day, I encounter so many people onboard that have never heard of Cruise Critic. So, you are very much like ReneeFLL where you completely lack any sense of empathy for people who do not act and behave as you. Maybe you have been googling everything since the dawn of time but not everyone is like you. I was blissfully ignorant on that cruise and I have no regrets, swim trunks and flop-flops in the MDR on formal night included.

I don't care how young and dumb you claimed to be. That is the dumbest excuse ever! It doesn't matter if it was dinner on a cruise or somewhere else. We were taught manners when we were growing up and how to dress when going out to dinner, but I guess some people were raised in a jungle where such things didn't matter. I guess trolls lived in jungles also.

Edited November 12, 2019 by ReneeFLL

[sjb317]

7 minutes ago, ReneeFLL said:

 

I don't care how young and dumb you claimed to be. That is the dumbest excuse ever! We were taught manners when we were growing up and how to dress when going out to dinner, but I guess some people were raised in a jungle where such things didn't matter. I guess trolls lived in jungles also.

Wow, I think you and Davekathy may be soul mates.😂😂

 

Sherri🙂

[MericaAR15]

I, for one, am outraged that Scottee25 made a mistake 20+ years ago, learned from said mistake, and then owned up to it on the internet!  How dare he?!

 

I'm going to grab some tar and feathers, everyone.  This is the internet, and the internet is serious business for serious people that have never made mistakes. I mean, seriously!!!

 

 

But really, this has been an interesting thread.  Not everyone had the same experiences and opportunities growing up, which impacts how they perceive and behave in society, especially early on. That doesn't mean they're terrible people.

[Scottee25]

12 hours ago, davekathy said:

I really did answer your question. Doesn't have to. No matter what we do we talk, share, explain and answers each other questions. If we don't know we ask a SME. We prefer to be prepared and not blindsided.

 

Actually, you didn't answer the question. You still haven't. More importantly, you have also missed the point. The point being that, in most cases, one party does the majority of the research while the other party goes along for the ride. It's great that you and your partner discuss these matters with such intricate detail, but not all people are you. So, for my first cruise I did absolutely no research. It wasn't until my second cruise where I found Cruise Critic and research heavily each of the ports we were visiting. Honestly, I sometimes prefer going on a vacation being "blissfully ignorant". There's a certain level of peace and calm in it.

 

12 hours ago, davekathy said:

Now, now no need to resort to name calling.  At least I gave you that consideration and respect. I didn't mean to tip you over. I have no problem letting you take that well traveled lower road without me.

 

You called, on several occasions, my excuse "lame ass". Not exactly something I would consider to be polite and courteous. You also said that you didn't believe that I knew nothing of the cruise other than it left out of San Juan. That's akin to calling me a liar. I also didn't call you any names. I said I "believe you are narrow minded". It's a belief I hold based on your responses. I have explained myself in regards to my first cruise and your responses have been nothing but judgmental. Others in this thread have called you out on this conduct and you respond to them as if they are the ones in the wrong. So now, I will call you a name: narcissist. 

[Scottee25]

31 minutes ago, ReneeFLL said:

 

I don't care how young and dumb you claimed to be. That is the dumbest excuse ever! It doesn't matter if it was dinner on a cruise or somewhere else. We were taught manners when we were growing up and how to dress when going out to dinner, but I guess some people were raised in a jungle where such things didn't matter. I guess trolls lived in jungles also.

 

Glad to hear you were able to go out to dinner growing up. Not all of us had that luxury. Eating out for me as a child was at McDonalds or a greasy spoon. Hardly the type of places that one would dress up. As far as manners go, my mother did instill them in me. Always quoting Emily Post. How to hold my fork and knife. Keep my elbows off the table. Chew with my mouth shut. But rather than accusing me of being raised in a jungle (though my mother asked me on many occasions if I was born in a barn), perhaps you should consider that not everyone had the same means as you did growing up. These statements of your's only reaffirm the complete lack of empathy you have towards others.

 

I also don't believe you know what a troll really is. If I was really a troll, I would have come here, stirred things up, and then just walked away.