Do your kids / grandkids have influence on you cruise /travel plans. They should

[dolittle]

I think many do and that it is a good thing. When I was young parents (mostly moms ) made the choice and kids had no input . What got me thinking about this is California's new tourism ad's which go right after kids calling it kid-iforina this is smart and a big improvement over the last weak and boring ad's. I think kids can learn a lot and enjoy travel more by making decisions before they get there and carry them out during the trip. My own Grand kids have always had a lot of input and are involved in planning and choosing what to do. One of the best things about this era is kids get to travel as a family and do so many things that kids in the 60s and 70s never dreamed of. How do you handle this with your family.

Edited November 11, 2021 by dolittle
spelling

[Keksie]

I think that part of the problems we are experiencing right now is because children have been given too much of a say in family business.  This gives children a heightened sense of entitlement and does not prepare them for adult life where not everyone bows to their wishes.  

[navybankerteacher]

57 minutes ago, Keksie said:

I think that part of the problems we are experiencing right now is because children have been given too much of a say in family business.  This gives children a heightened sense of entitlement and does not prepare them for adult life where not everyone bows to their wishes.  

Good point.  Of course it is a good idea to include children in planning - but the captain (parents being the collective captain)  should still steer the ship. 

[ilikeanswers]

56 minutes ago, Keksie said:

I think that part of the problems we are experiencing right now is because children have been given too much of a say in family business.  This gives children a heightened sense of entitlement and does not prepare them for adult life where not everyone bows to their wishes.  

 

To me there is a difference between giving into a child's wants and giving them agency to make a decision. I can only go by my own experience but I think there is a alot of life skills that can be learned from travel planning especially when it comes to making choices and figuring out pros, cons, feasibility and value. I still use these methods for decision making in many things other besides travel so for me I can say it was a benefit. 

[Flatbush Flyer]

2 hours ago, Keksie said:

I think that part of the problems we are experiencing right now is because children have been given too much of a say in family business.  This gives children a heightened sense of entitlement and does not prepare them for adult life where not everyone bows to their wishes.  

I agree if all one does is to show kids pictures and ask “want to go on a cruise?” If they’re at least 10+\- y.o., an informative discussion with the plus/minus elements of comparable trips can help them to develop research skills sufficient to inform their vote (which they fully understand may be vetoed by whoever’s paying- I.e., “Bank of Mom & Dad”).

[DirtyDawg]

3 hours ago, Keksie said:

I think that part of the problems we are experiencing right now is because children have been given too much of a say in family business.  This gives children a heightened sense of entitlement and does not prepare them for adult life where not everyone bows to their wishes.  

I also agree with you. Why in the world would anybody hand over important family decision making such as cruise/travel plans to humans whose brains are not fully formed yet. 

 

Edited November 11, 2021 by DirtyDawg

[mom says]

My kids and grandson can make our travel decisions for us when they pay for the trip. Until then...

 

Do they have input on what they would like to do while on the trip? Of course. But the bank (of Mom and Dad) has final say.

[DirtyDawg]

23 minutes ago, mom says said:

My kids and grandson can make our travel decisions for us when they pay for the trip. Until then...

 

Do they have input on what they would like to do while on the trip? Of course. But the bank (of Mom and Dad) has final say.

If we let my two year old granddaughter have her way our next 10 family trips would be to Peppa Pig World!

[shipgeeks]

When I was 10 and my brother was 7, we were permitted to vote on "Are you willing to go without dessert for the next year so we can afford to go on a train trip to California?".  We were, we did, and we went.

[Lois R]

1 hour ago, shipgeeks said:

When I was 10 and my brother was 7, we were permitted to vote on "Are you willing to go without dessert for the next year so we can afford to go on a train trip to California?".  We were, we did, and we went.

Where did you grow up? Just curious how far that train trip was.......365 days worth of desserts paid for the trip?🙂 

[cruisemom42]

My parents -- and grandparents -- were travelers and so I grew up in a traveling family. From the time I can remember I was a listener (and later a participant) in discussions about where to go, how to travel, for how long, and pros and cons of various destinations. I also grew up hearing stories about various trips made by my grandparents and parents. I see nothing wrong with this approach. Of course, I was never the kid who wanted to go to Disney World anyway.... I wanted to go to Egypt to the Valley of the Kings. I never quite forgave my parents for going without me when I was around 11 or 12. 

 

I do think parents need to be attuned to family needs and preferences if they are going to travel together, though. Maybe the kids don't get to make all of the decisions, but I also think it's pointless to drag kids on vacations that they are not interested in or equipped to handle. 

[Lois R]

21 minutes ago, cruisemom42 said:

My parents -- and grandparents -- were travelers and so I grew up in a traveling family. From the time I can remember I was a listener (and later a participant) in discussions about where to go, how to travel, for how long, and pros and cons of various destinations. I also grew up hearing stories about various trips made by my grandparents and parents. I see nothing wrong with this approach. Of course, I was never the kid who wanted to go to Disney World anyway.... I wanted to go to Egypt to the Valley of the Kings. I never quite forgave my parents for going without me when I was around 11 or 12. 

 

I do think parents need to be attuned to family needs and preferences if they are going to travel together, though. Maybe the kids don't get to make all of the decisions, but I also think it's pointless to drag kids on vacations that they are not interested in or equipped to handle. 

Cynthia🙂,  this is a compliment.....sounds like (to me anyway), even when you were a child, you were way beyond your years......or possibly had an "old soul".

 

We did camping trips.......nothing wrong with that really but it was not until I was much older did my folks start traveling, whether it was across the country or overseas.

 

But as a child? I went to summer camp growing up.......loved it actually.🙂 Went to "sleep away camp" for several summers......up in the mountains of Georgia and North Carolina.

[iancal]

Our children are very different from each other.  We had lots of family vacations-cruises, AI's, car trips. Plus two to Disney/Univeral/Seaworld in LA/SanDiego.

 

The last one, while they were still at home were very different from each other.  My daughter wanted a resort. So her and DW went to resort in Hawaii.

 

My son, at 17 wanted Europe.  So he and I went France and Italy for three weeks. He selected most of the itinerary.  He did two previous high school trips to Europe.

 

Since then, daughter and family always select AI's for Christmas. 

 

Son does his own thing, Anything for hitching through the Stans and ending  up in Korea or spending a month in Italy, Greece, etc.  with his G/F.

 

We now do a combo of both.  Nine weeks of independent travel  often includes a last minute cruise or AI.

 

Both children, now adults,  have been on cruises with us.  Both have zero interest in a cruise at this point in their lives.

Edited November 11, 2021 by iancal

[rkacruiser]

My Mother was the travel planner in my family.  Don't know how much "consultation" took place with my Father, although, if the trip was by sea or by plane, he was not interested because "he couldn't be the Captain nor the Pilot) and wouldn't go.  I do recall Mother sharing her plans with my Brother and me, but, we had no veto over anything.  

 

15 minutes ago, cruisemom42 said:

I also think it's pointless to drag kids on vacations that they are not interested

 

I understand your thinking, but, for some adolescents, their default position may be "I ain't goin'!"  I know that I took that position for a few things during those years (none were travel, however).  My parents response always was:  "Well, you ARE going."  Each time, I did and I never regretted it.  

 

I would love to take my Nephew and his family on a holiday cruise.  While I would have my own preferences, I would surely seek my Nephew and his wife's input.  

[evandbob]

Every family is different, and even within the same family, circumstances change as time goes by.  To say Families "should" make travel decisions one way or another ignores this reality.

 

We did a 3 generation Disney cruise when our twins were in their late 30's and our 4 G-kids were all under 10 yrs old.  Great memories. 

 

Our twins are now past 45 and their eldest are off to college, so our family has changed significantly.  It's difficult enough getting us all together for major holidays and B-Days, let alone a week or 2 to cruise.  COVID restrictions put a damper on travel plans as well.

 

We'll see what changes another decade brings!

 

 

[shipgeeks]

1 hour ago, Lois R said:

Where did you grow up? Just curious how far that train trip was.......365 days worth of desserts paid for the trip?🙂 

Pennsylvania to California, several weeks with my aunt's family, then my uncle's family, then home on a different train route.

I think the dessert question was a test of how much we kids really wanted to do the trip, as well as a money-saving lesson (sacrifice one thing to be able to get another).

It appears I have made up for a little-traveled childhood in the years since!

[ilikeanswers]

6 hours ago, DirtyDawg said:

I also agree with you. Why in the world would anybody hand over important family decision making such as cruise/travel plans to humans whose brains are not fully formed yet. 

 

I suppose at 25 years of age they should be earning some money they can contribute financially to the trip😂. 

[navybankerteacher]

3 hours ago, rkacruiser said:

...

 

I would love to take my Nephew and his family on a holiday cruise.  While I would have my own preferences, I would surely seek my Nephew and his wife's input.  

If he was mature enough to choose a life partner, he should be allowed some input  re: a week or so on a cruise.

 

But when it comes to completely dependent (therefore immature) children, the general rule should be: “I pay, I decide”.  Sure, welcome their input but remember it is YOUR job to guide (not cater to) them.

[DirtyDawg]

 

11 hours ago, navybankerteacher said:

But when it comes to completely dependent (therefore immature) children, the general rule should be: “I pay, I decide”.  Sure, welcome their input but remember it is YOUR job to guide (not cater to) them.

👍

 

Edited November 12, 2021 by DirtyDawg
Was going to say something about helicopter parents but decided against it.

[cruisemom42]

16 hours ago, rkacruiser said:

I understand your thinking, but, for some adolescents, their default position may be "I ain't goin'!"  I know that I took that position for a few things during those years (none were travel, however).  My parents response always was:  "Well, you ARE going."  Each time, I did and I never regretted it.  

 

I think my word choice was not great. What I meant is that parents need to know their children enough to understand what they are equipped to enjoy and what is beyond them (rather than putting the question to the child/teen directly). 

 

For example, planning a trip to Europe:  most kids would probably enjoy itineraries including things they're already familiar with (Eiffel tower, Colosseum in Rome, the Tower of London, etc.).  However planning day after day of long museum visits is not likely to infect most kids with the travel bug.

 

[lobsternight]

On 11/11/2021 at 9:40 AM, DirtyDawg said:

If we let my two year old granddaughter have her way our next 10 family trips would be to Peppa Pig World!

Wait there is a Peppa Pig World?  Snort.

 

Honestly I would like some input from the DW and kids.  I plan, I pay, but there is never a complaint.  I do ask and never get a definitive answer.  The only feedback I ever got is from my eldest who did not want to do a submarine tour. Never knew he was that closterphobic.

 

My childhood memories of vacations were marathon drives in the back seat of Dads 1961 rambler to stay at flea bag motels.  Even so, good memories, and there were lots of kids that didn't even get that. Sure wish the old man could have taken a cruise, he would have liked it.

[Lois R]

29 minutes ago, lobsternight said:

Wait there is a Peppa Pig World?  Snort.

 

Honestly I would like some input from the DW and kids.  I plan, I pay, but there is never a complaint.  I do ask and never get a definitive answer.  The only feedback I ever got is from my eldest who did not want to do a submarine tour. Never knew he was that closterphobic.

 

My childhood memories of vacations were marathon drives in the back seat of Dads 1961 rambler to stay at flea bag motels.  Even so, good memories, and there were lots of kids that didn't even get that. Sure wish the old man could have taken a cruise, he would have liked it.

We owned a Rambler too........1964.

[lobsternight]

4 hours ago, Lois R said:

We owned a Rambler too........1964.

I guess the best part of the story is that on one of those vacations the 1961 caught fire, guests at the flea bag hotel formed a bucket brigade and put it out.  A few days later Dad bought a used 1963 rambler, two tone with fins, money all gone we went home  he got another 5 years out of that beater.