Is river cruising right for me?

[Goldenrosebags]

My husband and I are thinking of taking a river cruise in December of 2025 to see Christmas markets. But I'm very shy. I have social anxiety. I'm afraid it might be too social for me. Do you have to eat with other people? What if we want to just do our own thing and not take excursions. I am able to converse with strangers. But are you forced in any way? If I feel pressured such as for dinner that's when I get stressed. We're ocean cruisers and we love it.

[RobInMN]

We like both ocean and river cruising. We have not done nearly as many as a lot of people (5). This is our experience and not a definitive report.

I would say that we aren't the most social and tend to keep to ourselves for the most part, but don't have anxiety. We typically like the excursions, and on our favored cruise line, AmaWaterways, there are almost always excursion choices and the groups can be as small as just the 2 of you depending on overall interest, and at most, 15-20 per guide. If there's a lot of interest, people are broken up into smaller groups. And you can always choose to do your own thing. Other cruise lines may be different. Even in groups, in our limited experience, while you might move as a group, there is not a lot of cross socialization on the excursions. Even while listening to the guide or looking around, people tend to stick with the people they are with. 

Hanging out in the lounge, we've never felt obligated to socialize.

I really don't think you'll have much issue just hanging around or on any excursions. At least that would be my experience on Ama (or even the 1 Grand Circle one we did).

 

Dinner/meals would be the hard part. AmaMagna does have some 2 -top tables, but the more traditional layouts of most(?) ships would put you with others (tables of 6-8?). It might be hard to keep table mates from trying to engage you in even just cursory conversation. If the cruise is not full, you might be able to talk to the dining manager about the possibility of being seated by yourself off to the side? Limited polite small talk?

 

Anyway, I hope you decide to give it a shot.

 

[Goldenrosebags]

Thank you. This helps alot. And Ama is the line we're looking at. I really appreciate your reply. I think we will try it. 

[UDChE89]

I’m an introvert and have done a solo cruise on Viva where I was the only non-German speaker and a cruise with a cousin on Uniworld.  I enjoyed both and was as social as I wanted to be.  Of course, it’s easier when most of the other passengers can’t speak to you but I did have a few conversations.  My cousin is more social so I was as well but we also had time to ourselves.  As far as excursions go, it’s no big deal if you don’t take any and just do your own thing.  The ships aren’t large so you’re not really dealing with big crowds.  On both cruises, tables for two were easy to come by.

[Canal archive]

Please don’t get anxious about your anxiety take all of the above recommendations as a very dear friend used to say - a nod and a smile takes you miles.

[CDNPolar]

Some ships have limited or no tables for two on a River Cruise.  I think that meal time will be the tough part for you.  The other tough one is the lounge before and after dinner, as depending on when you arrive, you may be forced to sit with others.

 

Excursions are the ice breakers for me/us.  This is the casual waking through a city or site that you are visiting and you are now casually able to say hello and interact with someone in a non forced way.  This is where we most often pick up our dinner companions and I will often say as we end the excursion - "Dinner tonight together?"

[Host Jazzbeau]

I don't suffer from social anxiety, but my sociability has limits and when I'm tired of socializing my cabin is my retreat.  One thing I will suggest that might help:  book a cabin with a French Balcony (or a real one).  The large window-wall will make your cabin a much more inviting place to be, and you can use it as a retreat if the social interaction gets too much.

[Goldenrosebags]

This is all wonderful advice. Thank you all. I do feel better.and I really want to take one. It looks so nice.

[Daisi]

@Goldenrosebags is your husband willing to carry on a conversation during dinner? What RobinMN said is correct, excursions, while you may be in a group of people, you don't usually chat a lot - most are listening to what the guide is saying and looking around the area, so conversation between the group is difficult. 

 

A suggestion for dining - choose the smallest table you can find and sit where you are either close to a wall. I tend to sit against the window - lets me eat, enjoy the view and I can contribute as much to the conversation as I wish. We've never sailed with AmA, only Avalon which, while it does have tables for 2, they are fairly close together. In the lounge, you can easily choose seats that aren't in a group.

[Goldenrosebags]

2 minutes ago, Daisi said:

@Goldenrosebags is your husband willing to carry on a conversation during dinner? What RobinMN said is correct, excursions, while you may be in a group of people, you don't usually chat a lot - most are listening to what the guide is saying and looking around the area, so conversation between the group is difficult. 

 

A suggestion for dining - choose the smallest table you can find and sit where you are either close to a wall. I tend to sit against the window - lets me eat, enjoy the view and I can contribute as much to the conversation as I wish. We've never sailed with AmA, only Avalon which, while it does have tables for 2, they are fairly close together. In the lounge, you can easily choose seats that aren't in a group.

My husband is very social. It is a little difficult for him to understand how I feel, as it usually is for people who don't suffer from it, but he tries and he does plenty of talking.

[Gourmet Gal]

I’m on the introverted side and unless I am meeting really interesting people I have a low tolerance for small talk.  The smaller the ship the harder it can be to avoid uninteresting social interactions but I’m sure by now you have already honed a few survival skills after sailing on the bigger ships.  Arrive early for dinner and snag a 2-top, same with the bar seating.  Keep a book or phone handy to stay busy and to avoid unintentional eye-contact. There’s no rule that you have to engage other than to be polite.  Let your husband do the chatting and just relax.  It’s your cruise to enjoy.

 

Study the itineraries carefully.  Some have more bus trips than others and on some stops the ship repositions while the excursions are happening. You can stay aboard but there’s not much to do. Some stops will be right in the middle of the towns so can be easily walkable on your own if that’s what you prefer.  

[notamermaid]

2 hours ago, Gourmet Gal said:

Keep a book or phone handy to stay busy and to avoid unintentional eye-contact.

That is what I was thinking. Be polite, smile and look engrossed in something. You would be the husband with the nerdy introvert wife team.

 

You may want to go at a time when the weather is favourable for being on the sundeck. It gives you "more space" and more easily obtained moments away from having to engage in conversation.

 

notamermaid

 

 

[Rebel54]

This is part of why I love a balcony cabin.  I can enjoy the sights in the peace of my room.  I love Avalon for the cabins with the beds facing the windows and they have a small table, couch and chair so you can also enjoy coffee or room service if you just need that peace.  I get over stimulated with too much energy from other people so it's hard for me to be in social situations all the time.  On Avalon there were a nice mix of tables and options for seating so I could be as social or NOT as I wanted to be.

[Canal archive]

Goldenrosegags thank you so much for introducing this subject, I find myself agreeing with so many of the answers and helpful hints. I’ve realised that especially on a full cruising day admittedly not that many on the rivers I could sit in the lounge with a book, my earbuds in so that the phone comes to life when we pass something interesting a nod to another passing passenger if required, coffee tea or other drink whenever required and be completely in my element. To think I’ve only just realised this about myself, well we live and learn because I could do this in my cabin but not all day as the steward has to do his or hers tweaks to make it presentable again.

[Got2Cruise]

Hi. Very good advice given so far. Agree wholeheartedly about the tours. You won’t need to interact with those on the tour. Most guests are focusing on the guide. And then free time you break off until it’s time to get back to the bus. It’s good to have a waving friendship with other guests. 
 

One thing to mention is that on AMA there is the Chef’s Table special dining room. It would be a shame to miss that. But they will seat you at a table for 4 with another couple. 
 

Id look at Uniworld also. Depending on the ship you might have more 2 top selection. 
 

For breakfast get there as soon as dining room opens you’ll get your 2 top. 
 

For dinner one of you go to the dining room a few minutes before it opens, the other stay in the lounge to listen to the Cruise Manager about the next day’s plans. At the lounge sit at the bar. 
 

Please smile and wave to others even if you don’t wish any other interaction. Others understand if you’re reserved but nice. It’s different than not wanting to bother with anyone because you put on airs. 
 

 

[Goldenrosebags]

13 minutes ago, Got2Cruise said:

Hi. Very good advice given so far. Agree wholeheartedly about the tours. You won’t need to interact with those on the tour. Most guests are focusing on the guide. And then free time you break off until it’s time to get back to the bus. It’s good to have a waving friendship with other guests. 
 

One thing to mention is that on AMA there is the Chef’s Table special dining room. It would be a shame to miss that. But they will seat you at a table for 4 with another couple. 
 

Id look at Uniworld also. Depending on the ship you might have more 2 top selection. 
 

For breakfast get there as soon as dining room opens you’ll get your 2 top. 
 

For dinner one of you go to the dining room a few minutes before it opens, the other stay in the lounge to listen to the Cruise Manager about the next day’s plans. At the lounge sit at the bar. 
 

Please smile and wave to others even if you don’t wish any other interaction. Others understand if you’re reserved but nice. It’s different than not wanting to bother with anyone because you put on airs. 
 

 

No. I'm not rude. Just extremely shy. I really want to do the chef's table, so grin and bear it it is. 

[Got2Cruise]

2 hours ago, Goldenrosebags said:

No. I'm not rude. Just extremely shy. I really want to do the chef's table, so grin and bear it it is. 

I’m sure it will be fine. Usually a good conversation is other cruises you’ve been on and places you’ve traveled to. 

[Doh15]

We did AMA and aren't very social-- we like to be polite and it's nice to have the occasional conversation to find out where people are from, but for better or worse we are on the cruise to spend time with people we know, not try to make new friends.

 

Not sure if our cruise was particularly undersold but we had no problems eating by ourselves-- we generally took a booth which seats 4 and no one ever joined us. And yes, on excursions and in the lounge it was no issue to smile and nod and people and not really engage if you didn't feel like it.