Cruise Tips When Cruising With People With Memory Issues

[Dobby_The_Ship_Elf]

Hi all,

 

In December we will be cruising with my mother, brother and my father who has moderate to advanced dementia.

 

He has cruised before, but at last our last family Xmas he needed directions to find the bathroom in my house that he has been to many times. So I am confident that at some stage on this cruise he will get 'lost'.

 

I believe there will need to be a full time person nominated to accompany him going to shows, a walk, his cabin, bed, toilet etc. But there might be times he does turn left when should have turned right ...... thus 'lost'.

 

I would be interested in reading of any practical ways that others have found to manage people like this on a cruise and maybe point out some of the things we may not have planned for.

 

Should he wear a badge 'If found please return to stateroom xxx'?

 

Please note I am seriously looking forward to enjoying this time with my father, I would just like to make this as stress free for everybody including Dad.

 

Thankee in advance

[Lucky TGO]

I really don't have any advice for you. I just hope everything turns out good and you all have a great time on your cruise.

Tony

[f-mattox]

I don't mean to be out of line here, but you asked for advice and I have some experience traveling with people with moderate dementia; it is not unlike traveling with a small child--they are in unfamiliar surroundings and have little sense of danger. They need full-time supervision. A ship can be a very dangerous place and even a momentary lack of supervision can turn very serious. I would hire a care giver and pay their way. Then set up a schedule so someone is with your father at ALL TIMES.

[Ron the Rev]

There are several tracking devices marketed with GPS tracking and linking to your smart phone.

[flgojo]

I am a law enforcement dispatcher and have some experience finding lost alzheimers patients. If he doesn't already have it get him a medic alert bracelet with his name and contact information for his regular caregiver. I would also then add specific info for this cruise maybe with his cruise card in his lanyard. It would probably be a good idea to alert security of his issues when he boards.

 

Off topic, for at home check with your local law enforcement some have free bracelet programs with or without tracking. We have both programs where I work we can put the information on the bracelet in the computer and have all needed info on the person. The tracking bracelets are amazing when people wander but would not be available on a cruise ship.

[floridalover5623]

As bad as it might be getting lost on the ship I would be more concerned if he were to get off the ship by himself at any distant port. :(

[phabric]

My mom was in the same situation. We are Canadians so we put a paper Canadian flag on the door. My mom knew that sometime was on door and one day she was lost and an attendant helped her back to the cabin, she told him there was something on the door, he said "Oh, the flag".

 

I would mention it to the different cabin attendants on your deck and guest services.

 

I would get a lanyard with a plastic case to put sail card and cabin number as sail card does not have cabin number on it.

[sunsetbeachgal]

Lots of good luck.

 

My only advice is that I hope your families cabins are near each other and very close to the elevators. And most importantly marked "do not upgrade ".

 

The halls on most of the ships are long and I would think would be very confusing for someone with memory issues. IAnd your ships ID does not have the cabin number shown on it so you should find a way to have this indicated somewhere in case he becomes separated from his companion.

 

 

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Edited August 29, 2017 by sunsetbeachgal

[Gloworm2]

Best of luck to you and your family. Please make sure your mom has some alone time to enjoy herself. And I think your dad will need constant supervision

 

 

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[flamomo]

As a retired RN who has worked both in a nursing home setting and in a hospital in a retirement community, where I cared for quite a few people with significant memory issues, and if it was me in this situation, I would make sure the affected person had constant supervision 24 hours a day. I would assure that he was NEVER left alone anywhere, including inside his cabin, and I would be sure to find a way to prevent him from being able to open the cabin door and leave the cabin and get lost wandering about the ship during the night when everyone else in your party was sleeping.

If the cabin he will be in has a balcony, how are you going to make sure he won't have an opportunity to open the sliding door and get out onto the balcony alone, unless someone is supervising him day and night?

I'd say you ALL are going to need to be very vigilant every moment of every day, for his safety and your peace of mind.

I do hope you enjoy your cruise and your family time, but I think you and your Mom and brother are all going to be very busy.

[skynight]

If you are sailing on the Regal Princess that ship will have the medallion. With the medallion you can see the location anyone on the ship which you link to your medallion.

[capriccio]

In addition to the very real fear of your Dad getting lost you must also consider the possibility that the new - and potentially scary - environment could disturb him. I know my Mom (who had Alzheimer's for 10 years) was normally very calm in her everyday surroundings but the pressure of dealing with new surroundings made her agitated. I wish you well, both on the cruise and in the upcoming years; it is a dreadful disease for both the patient and the family.

[Viv0828]

Maybe your dad should not have his sign and sail card with him so he cannot get off the ship accidentally? Maybe you can put a card in a lanyard or bracelet that has his name and cabin number and explains that he has memory issues?

 

I sincerely hope you all enjoy the cruise.

 

 

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[Gloworm2]

Kids cannot get off a ship unless the parent is getting off with them. RC can code your father's card so he cannot get off without one of you

 

 

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[JF - retired RRT]

There are several tracking devices marketed with GPS tracking and linking to your smart phone.

Would that work without connecting to the ship's expensive WiFi??

[Tyskie]

All good advice

 

I would get an OV - no balcony.

My father had dementia and he would try to get out of the car while it was moving.

You must prepare like you have a toddler.

 

I hope you have some special time with your father. Time goes really fast and there's no tomorrows with this disease.

[Ron the Rev]

Would that work without connecting to the ship's expensive WiFi??

Yes good question! I wonder if the Princess@Sea system, as it can be used to text between people on board with no charge, could be linked to some form of alert. Guess we need a 10 year old "Geek" here folks.

[Waynetor]

You may want to try a local resort for a weekend. This will give you an idea how he will react to being away from home for a period of time. Use that as a planning tool for a longer trip.

 

Dementia effects different people in different ways so it is hard to generalize on what to expect (I lost both parents and several grandparents/aunts/uncles and have seen a range of symptoms and speed of decline.)

 

One thing you could try is if there is something special at his home that could be brought along to help give him a feeling of familiarization -eg photos/or something on his door that will help him not to feel lost.

 

For dinning it would be best to have the same table/waiter for the full voyage and only for your family. This way the staff will be able to get to know any special needs/wants and give a more consistent experience. The first night give the waiter a heads up on the situation in case something unexpected happens.

 

I would also suggest not doing any preplanned (paid for) excursions. If you have a couple ideas of what you would like to do in ports then you can decide on the port day how he is doing and what is best. If he does get off the ship make sure he has ship id with him (can be as simple as paper with ship name and his name) and take a photo of him as he gets off. The photo could be used by local authorities in case he gets lost. He is not likely to remember much of the trip but if there is something in his past that he enjoyed doing that can be part of a tour that may help - eg if he has a military background look for something that has a link to that or if he loves art look for a museum. Try to avoid areas with large crowds. If you just want to see some sights, hire a local driver with a car for a few hours. For you own memories take some pictures of your parents enjoying themselves at tropical locals.

 

I don't know the details but I have seen people using a walkie-talkie system to keep in touch while on board. You may want to have a way your mother can get hold of you and your brother if needed. This gives you a chance to have some time on your own but still be available if needed - this will be easier once the new medallion system is in place for Princess but by December it will only be on the Regal Princess.

 

Your mother knows his condition best so make sure she is involved in the decisions and that she has some quite, private time.

[WVBill]

There are several tracking devices marketed with GPS tracking and linking to your smart phone.

 

GPS will not work inside the ship. You need a clear view of the sky for GPS to work.

[Alaskanb]

So agree with the RN who posted. Please get something like a door alarm in case of middle of the night wanderings. Maybe also consider adjoining cabins.

Edited August 29, 2017 by Alaskanb

[Ginnyfyr]

As a retired RN who has worked both in a nursing home setting and in a hospital in a retirement community, where I cared for quite a few people with significant memory issues, and if it was me in this situation, I would make sure the affected person had constant supervision 24 hours a day. I would assure that he was NEVER left alone anywhere, including inside his cabin, and I would be sure to find a way to prevent him from being able to open the cabin door and leave the cabin and get lost wandering about the ship during the night when everyone else in your party was sleeping.

If the cabin he will be in has a balcony, how are you going to make sure he won't have an opportunity to open the sliding door and get out onto the balcony alone, unless someone is supervising him day and night?

I'd say you ALL are going to need to be very vigilant every moment of every day, for his safety and your peace of mind.

I do hope you enjoy your cruise and your family time, but I think you and your Mom and brother are all going to be very busy.

 

I noticed on our last cruise something I have never noticed before - on the top of our balcony door (granted, this was an X ship) there was a bolt that you could throw to ensure the door couldn't be opened from the inside even if the regular locking mechanism was unlocked. I thought that would be a smart feature for parents travelling with little ones, but it sounds like it could also be helpful in this situation.

[pshaze]

We travel with my father who suffers from dementia. He loves to cruise. He is supervised most of the time and so far manages with a few reminders.

We make him wear a lanyard at all times with his cruise card and a laminated card that has the following information

His name

His cabin number, deck name, and floor (for elevator reminder)

Our names (so they can quickly call us if necessary)

I know that gives lots of information however nothing we have is as important as he is.

We put a magnetic sign on the door with their initials.

We notified our waiter at dinner about his condition because he has trouble ordering and our room attendant.

We also purchased these door alarms which we attach with command strips. There is an on/off switch so you can turn them off when you are not in the room. Used on the cabin door and balcony door.

https://www.amazon.com/GE-Personal-Security-Window-45115/dp/B00178HMCI/ref=sr_1_13?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1504020656&sr=1-13&keywords=Travel+door+alarm

 

Hope this helps! Enjoy your time with them.

[Thrak]

You won't like my advice but... My advice is don't do it. My mother in law would never have been able to deal with it. She would have been disoriented and frightened. There's no good way to just "stop the cruise" in order to let her go back to where she is comfortable. It would have been a nightmare for everyone involved but even more so for her. We simply would not have subjected her to the trauma of a cruise.

 

Each case is different but this is something that seriously needs to be considered.

[cb at sea]

My Uncle has moderate Alz....and I find when he's not in his own home, he is MUCH worse...and gets somewhat agitated. Folks with memory issues perhaps should not be vacationing....

[cynbar]

I usually hate to agree with the naysayers, but I have to do it here. My Dad had dementia, and we tried a family vacation (not a cruise) when he was still in the moderate stage. He was doing pretty well at home, then, still living alone, but the change in routine and environment totally threw him off. He was more confused, agitated, and just very sad --- he seemed to realize that he couldn't do what others were enjoying and he felt he was holding us back/upsetting us. I suggest you try a weekend away at a hotel or resort before committing to this cruise. And if you are already locked in, divide up the responsibility for supervising him and don't be too adventurous.