Breakfast or lunch conversation

[GUT2407]

I have talked religion and politics with people who I have bonded with.

 

What really amazes me is how much stuff is on some peoples don’t talk about list.

 

I guess some folk can’t just have a polite discussion even when they are diametrically opposed in opinions.

[K32682]

9 hours ago, GUT2407 said:

I have talked religion and politics with people who I have bonded with.

 

What really amazes me is how much stuff is on some peoples don’t talk about list.

 

I guess some folk can’t just have a polite discussion even when they are diametrically opposed in opinions.

 

Too often the people raising these subjects are either proselytizing or campaigning. I've made my decisions on both subjects quite some time ago and have no interest in being subjected to someone else's harangue particularly at breakfast. 

[Floridiana]

10 hours ago, GUT2407 said:

I have talked religion and politics with people who I have bonded with.

 

 

The key is 'bonded with'. It's not for casual conversation when you first meet. 

[cruisemom42]

1 hour ago, K32682 said:

 

Too often the people raising these subjects are either proselytizing or campaigning. I've made my decisions on both subjects quite some time ago and have no interest in being subjected to someone else's harangue particularly at breakfast. 

 

....and sometimes people see things that aren't really there re: whether someone is just having a pleasant debate or whether they are proselytizing.

 

I enjoy hearing various points of view on just about all issues and discussing things with people outside my 'normal circle' is a good exercise in broadening one's mind. Too many people go in the opposite direction these days. Close-mindedness is not necessarily a good thing, and if you only talk about things that matter with people who agree with you 100%, it's like an echo chamber.

 

 

[ducklite]

12 hours ago, Nic6318 said:

 

Hi

 

… but, that's the point of "small talk", it isn't about anything important. Talking about the weather, is typical. If you approach someone and don't ask any question (in your scenario) there would be no conversation. What I was saying, was that you can steer the conversation to where you feel comfortable. If the person can't grasp what you are doing, then you can just leave, after all there is no commitment. If you didn't want to have any conversation to begin with, then I suggested the table for two, that many request, often because they just can't be bothered or don't know how to converse with strangers.  

So you think that this conversation is acceptable for small talk?

 

"Hi, I'm Mike and this is my wife Sue.  We've been on 129 cruises and have been on this ship 14 times. We know the crew very well so if there's anything you need, let us know because they'll do anything for us, we are their favorite guests."

 

Reply...

 

"Uh, I'm Mary, this is my fiance Steve."

Mike says, "Hi you two.  When are you getting married?  You should get married on a cruise because that's the only good place to be.  We love to cruise.  We moved to be closer to a cruise port so we can cruise all the time.  Are you in a suite?  You should be in a suite because you get free drinks in the lounge.  But we get special free drinks in the super duper repeat guest lounge.  You should cruise more so you could join us."

 

Steve tries to change the topic, "So what did you do in port today?"

 

Sue tells them, "Well, we've been here about 30 times so we went and bought some souvenirs for our grandkids, they are 16 and 17 but still love it when we buy them t-shirts that say "Gramps and Nan went to [insert port name] and all I got was this shirt.  We've probably given them a few hundred shirts from all of our cruises in the past 10 years but we know they love them."  

 

Mary then tries to change the topic, "What do you do when you aren't cruising?"

 

Mike responds,  "Well, when we aren't cruising we spend our time planning our next cruise.  Of course because we've cruised 129 times, there isn't much to plan any longer, so we just look at our photos from our previous cruises and think about how sad we were back when we first started that we didn't get to meet the captain and get invited for free drinks in the super duper repeat guest lounge.  Did we tell you how amazing it is?  You really need to cruise more so you can go in there. They have these cut little appetizers, too."

 

At this point Mary and Steve get up and walk away, leaving Sue to say, "Well they were quite rude."

 

 

I work in sales and my customer base ranges from micro businesses to C-Levels of billion dollar corporations.  I can find common ground with all of them.  I'm great at small talk and love to ask them questions about them--without getting too personal.  (I had someone send me an email to let me know they are having a colonoscopy next week so they needed to postpone our conference call.  Maybe a little TMI...)  I actually got a reference from a former boss that in-part stated that I am "a great relationship builder and conversationalist who can find common ground with anyone."  But I can't deal with one-dimensional boors who want to twist every conversation back to a single topic, whether it's how many cruises they've take to how perfect their grandchildren are.  Unfortunately these types of people don't realize that when people feign interest they are just being polite, and in the big picture, no one cares.  

 

Of course if they have traveled a lot to many interesting locations I'll ask more about their experiences.  But I don't want to hear about the cute little appetizers in the super duper lounge, I want to hear about what the souks in Morocco smell like,  which private tour they used in St. Petersburg, and how rough their Drake crossing really was.

[ducklite]

11 hours ago, GUT2407 said:

I have talked religion and politics with people who I have bonded with.

 

What really amazes me is how much stuff is on some peoples don’t talk about list.

 

I guess some folk can’t just have a polite discussion even when they are diametrically opposed in opinions.

I am not religious but have an interest in the religions of the world.  As long as the conversation is just that and not an effort to convert me, I'm fine with it.   

[clo]

1 hour ago, ducklite said:

So you think that this conversation is acceptable for small talk?

 

This may be the best post ever written on any board.  Sheesh, you're really good.  And, yes, while your example(s) was extreme that was what drove us away from cruising.  So far our two cruises on Hurtigruten weren't like that and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Oceania.  But I'm also good at walking away...Renee )  Thanks a mil.

[dogs4fun]

On 10/10/2019 at 12:08 PM, LHT28 said:

we eat alone at breakfast

not  a morning person ..so steer clear 😉

Same here. 

Dinner conversation is another matter - we enjoy meeting and conversing with others (often with beliefs/opinions differing from ours). Fortunately, we have never been subjected to that "ugly tourist" type that wants to argue or convert.

Years ago, we recall being asked by some Brits (shared table at a restaurant in London) what we thought of Obama. This was after his election but prior to his inauguration as president. We were somewhat surprised because we usually find Brits far too courteous to ask a complete stranger a question that could be construed as intrusive. In any event, we answered truthfully but did not go into any detail - we then asked them what they thought and why they had an interest. Their answer was quite interesting.

[DarrenM]

2 hours ago, ducklite said:

I am not religious but have an interest in the religions of the world.  As long as the conversation is just that and not an effort to convert me, I'm fine with it.   

Me too. Not religious in the slightest but love talking to folk that are.  I actually like to be preached at by the more extreme religious types. Apart from it being funny it allows for a contrary position. And as I have alluded to I

 Love to be contrary.

 

But that's just for the extreme lot. I just like to hear all sides normally.

[davekathy]

Table for two please. 

[lenquixote66]

50 minutes ago, davekathy said:

Table for two please. 

Our preference for dinner and sometimes other meals as well

[wowzz]

3 hours ago, lenquixote66 said:

Our preference for dinner and sometimes other meals as well

We have a table for two 48 weeks of the year.  My wife wants a table of 10 on a cruise,  ideally with me on another table entirely.  I don't understand it - she always used to laugh at my three jokes.

[reeinaz]

On 10/11/2019 at 8:53 PM, GUT2407 said:

 

 

then for the last 25 years Barrister.

So you must be pretty good at making designs in the cappucino froth. 

[reeinaz]

10 hours ago, cruisemom42 said:

 

....and sometimes people see things that aren't really there re: whether someone is just having a pleasant debate or whether they are proselytizing.

 

I enjoy hearing various points of view on just about all issues and discussing things with people outside my 'normal circle' is a good exercise in broadening one's mind. Too many people go in the opposite direction these days. Close-mindedness is not necessarily a good thing, and if you only talk about things that matter with people who agree with you 100%, it's like an echo chamber.

 

 

I agree with this 100%

[navybankerteacher]

Sadly, too many people do not understand that the real value in conversation is hearing what other people have to say - most of us (those who think, at least) already know what we think - so doing a little less talking and a little more listening helps you learn - not only about what is being said, but about the person saying it - you can quickly learn whether you want to continue any conversation deeper than a discussion of the weather,  and, if you pay any attention, you can quickly get an idea of whether they might be interested in what you might have to say -  as well as get a grasp on how to say it..

 

When it comes to discussing your interests - do so —- but you can discuss an idea without having to sell someone on your thoughts about it.

[ldubs]

I suppose when it comes to how I live my life and how I treat others, I am religious.  But I really have no desire to talk about my or someone else's religion or beliefs.  Even less so about someone's proud atheism.  

[ldubs]

11 hours ago, dogs4fun said:

Their answer was quite interesting.

 

Clilffhanger!!! 😀

[GUT2407]

4 hours ago, wowzz said:

We have a table for two 48 weeks of the year.  My wife wants a table of 10 on a cruise,  ideally with me on another table entirely.  I don't understand it - she always used to laugh at my three jokes.

Sounds like Mrs Gut, I put it down to her being a strong woman, tell her a joke she knows is funny (because she has heard it many times before) and not even a chuckle, see strong woman that one.

[DarrenM]

6 hours ago, wowzz said:

We have a table for two 48 weeks of the year.  My wife wants a table of 10 on a cruise,  ideally with me on another table entirely.  I don't understand it - she always used to laugh at my three jokes.

You have 3? Arent you the bragging sort?

 

I have one.

[DarrenM]

2 hours ago, ldubs said:

I suppose when it comes to how I live my life and how I treat others, I am religious.  But I really have no desire to talk about my or someone else's religion or beliefs.  Even less so about someone's proud atheism.  

I find this very interesting. I am about as close to the opposite of religious as its possible to be.

 

Some of our closest friends are very religious, and some of differing faiths too. My boss is muslim for example.

 

I dont argue with any of them over their faith, nor they my lack of. But we have had some staggering good conversations down the years regarding both ends of the scale.

 

Surely its better to hear all sides to get an understanding of it, than prefer to not know?

 

And the same goes for lots of subjects including your political stance.

 

I have always found it incredibly difficult to have a conversation with a virtual stranger if there are too many no go areas. You might as well not bother trying to engage.

 

So i start all conversations with, Hi my names Darren, what religion are you, and who did you vote for at the last election.😀

 

 

[lenquixote66]

9 hours ago, DarrenM said:

I find this very interesting. I am about as close to the opposite of religious as its possible to be.

 

Some of our closest friends are very religious, and some of differing faiths too. My boss is muslim for example.

 

I dont argue with any of them over their faith, nor they my lack of. But we have had some staggering good conversations down the years regarding both ends of the scale.

 

Surely its better to hear all sides to get an understanding of it, than prefer to not know?

 

And the same goes for lots of subjects including your political stance.

 

I have always found it incredibly difficult to have a conversation with a virtual stranger if there are too many no go areas. You might as well not bother trying to engage.

 

So i start all conversations with, Hi my names Darren, what religion are you, and who did you vote for at the last election.😀

 

 

I have actually met someone on a cruise who asked who I voted for in the last election and what my religion is but it was not you.😀

[ldubs]

10 hours ago, DarrenM said:

I find this very interesting. I am about as close to the opposite of religious as its possible to be.

 

Some of our closest friends are very religious, and some of differing faiths too. My boss is muslim for example.

 

I dont argue with any of them over their faith, nor they my lack of. But we have had some staggering good conversations down the years regarding both ends of the scale.

 

Surely its better to hear all sides to get an understanding of it, than prefer to not know?

 

And the same goes for lots of subjects including your political stance.

 

I have always found it incredibly difficult to have a conversation with a virtual stranger if there are too many no go areas. You might as well not bother trying to engage.

 

So i start all conversations with, Hi my names Darren, what religion are you, and who did you vote for at the last election.😀

 

 

 

I avoid politics and religion.  Instead I ask about sexual preference ,  race, & economic status in the opening questions.  😀😀

 

I really don't have a side.  I just try to be a good person. Unfortunately, I'm not always successful.  Among one of the best people I know is not of the same religion as me.  Yet our values are sharply aligned.   

[lenquixote66]

16 minutes ago, ldubs said:

 

I avoid politics and religion.  Instead I ask about sexual preference ,  race, & economic status in the opening questions.  😀😀

 

I really don't have a side.  I just try to be a good person. Unfortunately, I'm not always successful.  Among one of the best people I know is not of the same religion as me.  Yet our values are sharply aligned.   

We met a couple on a cruise several years ago.The husband and I had the same interests in sports,music ,places to visit ,etc.Then he found out that we practice different religions and he was no longer interested in speaking to me.

Therefore,perhaps people should ask what religion you practice  in the initial conversation. Of course I am being facetious but maybe,just maybe that should be an initial question in a conversation.

[lenquixote66]

I will be on a cruise in 5 days. On the first sea day I will wear a tee shirt reading Born In Brooklyn.That always generates conversation. I have tee shirts for every sea day and some port days that I wear to also generate conversation.

[ldubs]

6 minutes ago, lenquixote66 said:

We met a couple on a cruise several years ago.The husband and I had the same interests in sports,music ,places to visit ,etc.Then he found out that we practice different religions and he was no longer interested in speaking to me.

 

 

His loss, I'm sure.