Is it now "rude" to be five-ten minutes late to dinner in the MDR?

[Z'Loth]

I'm just wondering if my cruise ship "hack" is still appropriate. 

 

While I completely understand the need to be on time (or even early) for a ship event (just ask a pier runner), I have found it easier to be five minutes "late" (maybe TEN, but that's pushing it) when it comes to dinners on a cruise ship. From my experience, if the dinner is advertised at 5:30 PM, that's when the doors open, and you end up with crowds beforehand waiting, then rushing in to the MDR. If I show up 5 minutes "late", there is no crowd to be seated, the "rush" is over, and the wait staff is a bit more calm, and I still get the full meal. But, is that still true.

 

Note that I'm not excusing the people who are thirty to fourty-five minutes late to the MDR and being turned away. Isn't that what the buffet is for? 

[ldubs]

If sitting with a group, then one should show up on time.  To me, 10 minutes habitually late would be rude.  

[klfrodo]

It's always been rude.

Service in the military taught me that if you're not early, then you must be late.

[lenquixote66]

We are nearly always the first to be seated at a group table.

[Essiesmom]

As above.  If you are at a shared table, the wait staff usually waits to see if everyone will appear before taking orders.  I wish they would stick to their stated policy of no one seated after 15-20 min  after doors open.  EM

[mom says]

Your "hack" has never been appropriate. You show up late to suit yourself, while your table mates sit and twiddle their thumbs waiting for you, before anyone can place their dinner orders. 

 

You, and they, would both be better off if you chose  anytime dining and could be seated whenever you chose to show up.

[ldubs]

Alternatively, if you are habitually late, is it rude for someone to point that out? 

[K32682]

Late is late and it is rude to the other people who managed to get there on time. In my experience, people who say they are late by "only 5 minutes" are often closer to being late by ten or fifteen.  

[Toofarfromthesea]

The way to know that your "hack" is wrong is to ask yourself, "What if everyone did it?"

[navybankerteacher]

1 hour ago, ldubs said:

Alternatively, if you are habitually late, is it rude for someone to point that out? 

Depending upon how you do it, it may or may not be “rude” to point out another person’s rudeness when it has a negative impact upon you or your civilized dining companions;  but, if it has a positive result it can be seen as a courtesy to the person who needed to be advised.

[Mary229]

We sit alone in assigned seating in the evening and we inform our wait staff of our schedule.  I have been told I have the table for 2 hours and can be up to 15 minutes late before losing my reservation.  Simply informing them of what I intend works well for them also -IF THEY Are Informed.  They can set up their other tables, grab some drinks and know exactly when I am coming in, they also know once seated I am not in a hurry. Communication is key.

 

If I intend to sit with others I am on time.

[screwsmcernst]

I will not show up to set time dining before the MDR doors open.  I think the best way to do is to still be walking towards the MDR when the doors open.  That way I'm not waiting with "impatient" people.  I prefer to walk through the doors at the back of the "I have to be first" people.  Then walk straight to my table.  😃

Edited October 23, 2023 by screwsmcernst
grammar

[ldubs]

50 minutes ago, navybankerteacher said:

Depending upon how you do it, it may or may not be “rude” to point out another person’s rudeness when it has a negative impact upon you or your civilized dining companions;  but, if it has a positive result it can be seen as a courtesy to the person who needed to be advised.

 

I actually posted this as food for thought for those thinking it is OK to be always late.  

[ldubs]

2 minutes ago, screwsmcernst said:

I will not show up to set time dining before the MDR doors open.  That is the best way to do is to still be walking towards the MDR when the doors open.  That way I'm not waiting with "impatient" people.  I prefer to walk through the doors at the back of the "I have to be first" people.  Then walk straight to my table.  😃

 

Cruise ships seem to have a fair share of "impatient" (frantic?) people.   We note the same thing on embark day & choose to go later to avoid the frenzy.    

 

 

[navybankerteacher]

4 hours ago, screwsmcernst said:

I will not show up to set time dining before the MDR doors open.  I think the best way to do is to still be walking towards the MDR when the doors open.  That way I'm not waiting with "impatient" people.  I prefer to walk through the doors at the back of the "I have to be first" people.  Then walk straight to my table.  😃

After the first evening this tends to work. There is no need to plan on a ten minute delay - or actually anything more than a minute or two..

[screwsmcernst]

1 minute ago, navybankerteacher said:

After the first evening this tends to work. There is no need to plan on a ten minute delay - or actually anything more than a minute or two..

 

I think it is inconsiderate of people to be more than 5 minutes late.

[sfaaa]

Being intentionally late to an appointment or dinner reservation is rude.

[Underwatr]

I think five minutes late is no problem - you're coming in just after the people that queue up in front of the closed MDR doors. However you should be prepared to make your orders at the same time as the others who arrived as soon as seating opened. Typically you can find the evening menus early, either posted outside of the dining room, in the ship's app, or in a binder at the maitre d's desk at breakfast or lunch. So have some familiarity with the evening's offerings so you don't delay others making their orders or make the waiter come twice.

[sparks1093]

The doors open at 5:30 and, as noted, there is a line waiting for them to open. By the time the doors open and the line is gone we're probably talking about 5 minutes in any case. So, was someone standing at the very back of the line, or were they late? (This is presupposing that the doors don't open early, which happens more often then not on the cruises we've been on, and I know that because I was in line 🙂.) 

[John Bull]

 

Someone is going to be first, and someone going to be last.

But if anyone is always the last arrival, they need to re-think their manners.🙁

 

JB 🙂 

[navybankerteacher]

Planning on regularly coming in a bit late as a “hack” (meaning a device for one’s convenience- regardless of its impact on others) is obviously rude.

[Underwatr]

Cunard posts a "final orders" time somewhere - in their daily program or something. It's something like 20 minutes after the start of service. I'm never in so much of a hurry at dinner that I can't wait five or ten minutes for my table mates to make their way in. It hasn't been a problem in 10+ years of cruses. Bread is at the tables, we're looking at menus and chatting about the day with others who aren't delayed.

On one cruise we were near a 2-top at which the couple typically arrived 30-45 minutes after the start of service. Even though they weren't delaying other diners and probably felt like their dining time was flexible as long as they were finished in time for second seating, in reality their waitstaff needed to adjust their service to accommodate their late arrival. I consider that a more egregious violation of fixed dining expectations than a couple who regularly arrive 10 minutes late at my table.

[GeezerCouple]

22 hours ago, Z'Loth said:

I'm just wondering if my cruise ship "hack" is still appropriate. 

 

While I completely understand the need to be on time (or even early) for a ship event (just ask a pier runner), I have found it easier to be five minutes "late" (maybe TEN, but that's pushing it) when it comes to dinners on a cruise ship. From my experience, if the dinner is advertised at 5:30 PM, that's when the doors open, and you end up with crowds beforehand waiting, then rushing in to the MDR. If I show up 5 minutes "late", there is no crowd to be seated, the "rush" is over, and the wait staff is a bit more calm, and I still get the full meal. But, is that still true.

 

Note that I'm not excusing the people who are thirty to fourty-five minutes late to the MDR and being turned away. Isn't that what the buffet is for? 

 

"Is it now "rude" to be five-ten minutes late to dinner in the MDR?"

When was it *not* rude?

 

I'm going to quarrel with several of the above apparent "definitions" of "being late.

Being late doesn't mean being at the back of the line, or in the middle and thus among the last to arrive at the table.  It should be obvious that not everyone can be inside the MDR and be seated the moment the doors open. (!)

 

So if one is among the last to arrive at the MDR AT THE APPROPRIATE TIME and then proceeds to one's seat, then how is that "late"?

(And "the appropriate time" doesn't mean "early enough to try to fight for the front of the line".  There's no need to push and shove to "avoid being late", etc.  How about something like, "not strolling in *after* all of the others have obviously arrived, almost all are seated, and there is no longer a line"? - or something similar... )

 

If, on the other hand, you mean "late" as in "sauntering into the MDR 5-10+ minutes after everyone waiting in line has already been seated... then YES indeedy, that is rude, and *especially* if it is a place where orders are not taken (or no service) until "everyone has arrived at table".

IF this is done repeatedly or is done because one simply isn't being concerned about the convenience/comfort (eating!) or other, then yes, that is rude. Full stop.

 

GC

 

[Greg4502]

If you are early, you are on time. If you are on time, you are late.

[Z'Loth]

As the original poster... allow me to defend myself....

 

First of all, lets set the proper context... this is the Master Dining Room. The food isn't going to run away on you! much like the all-aboard time is 4:00 PM, but you are advised to be back on ship by 3:30 PM. The ship isn't going to abandon you if you are standing on the gangplank in line waiting to go through security at 3:32 PM. 

 

In addition, the MDR, during the evening dinner, usually has assigned seating every night, so your seat isn't going to change. Five minutes after the MDR doors open, you are still at the point of ordering drinks and reviewing the menu, not to mention chatting with your table mates over what interesting things each one of you observed during the day. A MDR meal is about 60-90 minutes long as well. It also takes five minutes to travel from my room, up the elevators, and to the MDR as well. 

 

Mind you, I've either travelled solo or my traveling companion has been my mother, not a group. If you promise to meet up at 5:30 PM for dinner, all bets are off. You show up at 5:30 PM so that you aren't a imposition to your fellow travels. 

 

For all those who quoting lines that sounds similar to "Lombardi Time", I like to remind you that you are on vacation, and there are enough times where showing up early is a danged good idea, such as for your flight, initial ship boarding, or being part of a tour group. Those are all times where you are waiting and twiddling your thumbs waiting for the tour to start. I really don't want to add "waiting for the MDR doors to open" to that list.

 

And, yes, there have been times where I overslept and missed the early MDR dining. I ended up attending the early show, and then was very apologetic to the Matre'd to see if they accommodate me for late dining. I would agree that there is a major difference between 5 minutes and 15-20 minutes lateness including having a major impact on the dining staff who work their tails off (so tip generously).