Overheard Onboard

[PromenadeDeckWriter]

Being Deaf, I am not oftentimes privy to "overhearing" conversations, dialogues, one-liners, or questions. After reading "Overheard in New York" and enjoying the snippets shared there, what are some that you have overheard onboard? Some snippets that I was privy to (having the sign language interpreter present at the right times, or with fellow Deaf passengers that use sign language): 

 

Panama Canal Crossing, 2nd set of locks, standing on the Promenade Deck.

Me: (reaches over to touch the canal wall)

Grumpy man sitting on bench nearby: (mutters)

Me: (looks at interpreter, who is standing by) What did he say?

Interpreter: He said, "Touch that wall, you're gonna get your finger chopped off."

Me: (looks at Grumpy Man, and 'walk' my fingers on the canal wall, well away from the mule tracks)

 

Dinnertime, when dessert menus are distributed. Deaf group of 8 with 2 interpreters present:

Steward: (talking to interpreter despite us drilling them to look/talk to us Deafies) And would you like coffee?

Interpreter: (relaying the message, purposefully looking at us Deafies). 

Deaf 1: Me!

Deaf 2: Yes, I'll have Deaf coffee!

Interpreter: (voicing for 1 & 2) and they will have deaf coffee.

Steward: Deaf?

Interpreter: (realizing her error) Oh - I meant decaf! DECAF!

(explanation of Deaf culture and how we sign "Deaf"when we want decaf coffee.)

 

Standing on the stern of a HAL Signature class ship, while docked in port and waiting our turn to sailaway:

Friend: Omg! This ship is HUGE!

Friend 2: Ours is not the biggest ship here today.

Friend 1: What do you mean? Not the biggest? How big can they possibly go?

Friend 2: (points to an Oasis class ship, a few hundred yards away.) That. 

Friend 1: (eyes bulging out).

 

Standing on deck of a Carnival Fantasy class ship with a group of Deaf folks.

Deaf 1: This is an itty bitty ship. I've been on bigger ships. 

Deaf 2: Oh yes, this is a tiny ship. 

(discussion of which "bigger" ships they have been on).

Deaf 3: Yeah, they were all big, like the Titanic. That thing was huge!

(Me chuckling from a few feet away, decide to interject).

Me: Actually, the Titanic was only thirty-something feet longer than this one. We're heavier, though, with additional decks. 

(All three look at me like I was crazy for suggesting that)

Deaf 3: What do you mean, only 30 feet longer? That's impossible. That thing had four smokestacks (funnels). We have one. 

 

Show lounge, waiting for show to begin. Two interpreters sit in front of stage, facing a row of Deaf folks. Two hearing passengers stand by nearby, whispering to each other.

Terp 1: (ears perks up and looks towards the hearing pair)

Deaf 1: (sees this motion - nothing escapes deaf eyes) What's up?

Terp 1: They're talking about Deaf 2 and whether or not they were single.

Deaf 2: They think I'm handsome? 

Terp 1: Apparently... 

(they all chuckle)

Deaf 1: (turns to Deaf 2) Should I?

(getting the wave for 'go-ahead' from Deaf 2, Deaf 1 stands up and beckons Terp 1 to follow. They approach the hearing pair.)

Deaf 1: To answer your question, yes, he's single. 

(Terp 1 voices, and they return to their seats leaving the hearing pair to blush and rush away)

 

So, what are some snippets of conversations you have overheard onboard? 

[evandbob]

I can smile at your recollections, but not this one of mine:

 

Nov.13, 2010, my 60th BDay, celebrating in the Steakhouse of the Magic out of Houston/Galveston:

 

Next table over from us, as they were discussing the terrorist attack in Paris that just happened,  2 alleged 'Nam vets loudly vented that they hoped NYC would be the next target!  

 

As we had lived in NYC and suburbs all our lives then, we were horrified that "patriots" would voice support for another bombing or whatever in the USA.  No, they weren't drunk. they just went on about liberals and anti-abortion zealots in godless NYC.  We had just ordered dessert, but felt it was wiser to leave than to risk me confronting them back.

[navybankerteacher]

"Yes  -- our cabin is on the port side , but only when the ship is going forward."

[LHT28]

On Princess ship   near the end of the cruise

one couple in the casino to another guy there

"Oh yes we go down to reception & remove the  tips  the last night  it  gives us more money to spend in the casino"

 

DH grabbed me before I got to them to give them my opinion  😲

[MBP&O2/O]

Overheard in a bar. One of my colleagues trying to impress a lady of dubious morals [emoji3]
“Hey ... barman ... one scotch on the rocks ..... no ice”


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[ontheweb]

On the elevator on the NCL Epic. The ship had a Nickelodeon feature. The other passengers on the elevator were a couple with their 2 small children.

 

Wife: You know the kids are going to want to slime you.

 

Husband: No way.

 

Wife: who do you want to slime, Mom or Dad?

 

the kids shouting in unison: DAD!

 

He was the last of them to leave, and I was still on the elevator. I said to him, "Good Luck". He responded, "Thanks"

[Sea Hag]

Couple sitting across from us on a six top. Celebrity ship. They'd ordered a tuna tartare appetizer.

 

Husband: This tuna's raw!

Wife: And where's the tartar sauce?

[shipgeeks]

Consistently pretentious passenger:  "I gotta show you this nice watch I got in St. Thomas today."

DH:  "Gee, I didn't know Rolex was spelled with two L's."

[Aquahound]

 

Me:  Sitting on balcony, relaxing, about to doze off.

 

Neighbor:  %&$#!  @$%&!  (scream) &$#%! (furniture getting flipped over)

 

Me: Looks around divider with great concern and sees a woman doing battle with a crazy seagull who got stuck on the balcony.

 

Neighbor:  Help me! 

 

Me:  LMAO for a solid 30 seconds before I could breathe enough to tell her to go inside.  LMAO for another solid minute before I went next door to help the seagull.  

[Love.II.Cruise]

I love this thread!!!  🤣

Edited August 5, 2020 by Love.II.Cruise

[lenquixote66]

I am fluent in a language other than English and I overheard a couple discussing certain passengers on the ship.I was tempted to say something to them in their language but then remembered that I cannot swim.

[Elaine5715]

Last night in the casino, woman said to male "Do you have any money?  I can't get no more" .  He said, "no, I don't have any".  She said, "How are we going to get the car out?  I'm out and card don't work".  He shrugs, "Not my car".

Saw him later pull a wad of cash out at the craps table...

[John Bull]

On 8/5/2020 at 12:24 AM, shipgeeks said:

Consistently pretentious passenger:  "I gotta show you this nice watch I got in St. Thomas today."

DH:  "Gee, I didn't know Rolex was spelled with two L's."

 

A truck driver who used to deliver to my business premises frequently had counterfeit bargains to offer.

One time it was "Rollex" watches for £20 ($25).

When I pointed out to him that that Rolex only had one "L" he was crest-fallen, thinking he'd never be able to shift them. 

The following week he was beaming. "Punters think the mis-spelling is a great laugh, I sold the lot & I'm now trying to get hold of more." 

 

On vaguely the same subject, a little hint about scam e-mails & websites.

Do you see spelling / punctuation mistakes?

Think the scamsters are pretty stupid?

They're not.

Those "mistakes" are usually deliberate - scamsters target folk who aren't well-educated, because they're easier to scam.

The "mistakes" weed out responses from those who are likely to be suspicious and to be a waste of their time.

Spell-checker is your friend 

 

JB  

Edited August 6, 2020 by John Bull

[getting older slowly]

a younger couple standing near the bridge on the top deck...

he is saying this is the bow of the ship, she told him you wait till we get the other end this is the stern.... and I watched them walk aft  and wondered

 

A woman at the computer deck trying to figure out how to get her phone to work...

as it was urgent she had to contact her son at home... once the support guy had sorted her out... she sat near us and phoned her son... the urgent matter.....

she couldn't get a t-shirt for him at the last port as the sizes only went up to 4X.....

 

Cheers Don 

[drsel]

I heard an old lady (who appeared to be on her first ever Cruise) complaining to the reception that all hotels offer free Wi-Fi, so why not this one?

[drsel]

During the captains welcome speech on a Costa Cruise, one gentleman got up and asked him,

"why did Costa Concordia sink ?"

 

After the poor embarrassed captain explained the reasons why the Costa Concordia sank, the same gentleman asked,

"how can we trust you that this one won't sink?"

 

By then, the captain lost it and retorted

" this is no way to speak to a captain and not a question you ask a captain"

[myfuzzy]

We were on a now long defunct cruise line, where the captain and passengers co mingled all the time.  At the one cocktail party we were all having a good time and someone asked the captain why he stood with his legs apart.  So he stood up and faced the front of the ship, legs apart...he say's when we stand like this we are O.K.  Then he turns and stands facing the side of the ship with again his legs apart.   he say's when we stand like this ---we fall down

[ldubs]

9 hours ago, drsel said:

During the captains welcome speech on a Costa Cruise, one gentleman got up and asked him,

"why did Costa Concordia sink ?"

 

After the poor embarrassed captain explained the reasons why the Costa Concordia sank, the same gentleman asked,

"how can we trust you that this one won't sink?"

 

By then, the captain lost it and retorted

" this is no way to speak to a captain and not a question you ask a captain"

 

Now that was kind of an embarrassing moment to be sure.  Too bad the captain lost it over a simple, although admittedly uncomfortable, question.  

Edited August 7, 2020 by ldubs

[MBP&O2/O]

We were on a now long defunct cruise line, where the captain and passengers co mingled all the time.  At the one cocktail party we were all having a good time and someone asked the captain why he stood with his legs apart.  So he stood up and faced the front of the ship, legs apart...he say's when we stand like this we are O.K.  Then he turns and stands facing the side of the ship with again his legs apart.   he say's when we stand like this ---we fall down

Quite seriously ... if we were in heavy seas and rolling heavily .... maybe 35/40 degrees each way ... when on the bridge it was far more comfortable to stand facing the wing than for’d or aft as you could stand still and ‘roll’ with the motion.


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[electro]

My husband is French but speaks English without an accent.
We were in a lounge listening to the piano player one evening and there were a group of french Canadians talking very loudly, enough so that it was hard to hear the piano player. They were making fun of another couple in the lounge, (calling the woman fat, saying she was a gold digger and other nasty stuff) and assuming no one could understand what they were saying.
After several minutes, my DH had had enough and went over to the group and said in French " you do not know that couple and who are you to judge"
The look on their faces was priceless! They got very quiet and after a few minutes they got up and left the lounge.

[drsel]

My husband is French but speaks English without an accent.
We were in a lounge listening to the piano player one evening and there were a group of french Canadians talking very loudly, enough so that it was hard to hear the piano player. They were making fun of another couple in the lounge, (calling the woman fat, saying she was a gold digger and other nasty stuff) and assuming no one could understand what they were saying.
After several minutes, my DH had had enough and went over to the group and said in French " you do not know that couple and who are you to judge"
The look on their faces was priceless! They got very quiet and after a few minutes they got up and left the lounge.

My compliments to your husband!
Such critics deserve to be put in place.

[electro]

6 minutes ago, drsel said:

My compliments to your husband!
Such critics deserve to be put in place.

Yeah, If I spoke french, I don't think I would have been as nice to them as he was.

[drsel]

It's never nice to gossip about someone, especially if he or she is a perfect stranger

[PromenadeDeckWriter]

Thought of another one. On a ship with a sizable number of Deaf folks. I'm on Deck 4 of the atrium, looking down at the bar area at the foot of the glass elevators. A Deaf person on Deck 1 looks up, and signs "Hey! Love you!" 

 

Confused, I thought they were talking to me. I signed back, "Uh... love you too?" 

 

Nonplussed, the person waved the air as if to erase what they said, "no, no, not you - I'm talking to my wife! She's two decks above you!" He pointed to a spot above me. 

 

I craned my neck and looked up. Sure enough, the wife was signing down to her husband. Rolling my eyes, we all got a chuckle out of it, and coordinated instructions to meet up at a restaurant to meet in person. 

 

Benefit of ASL? Being about to communicate cross-deck from vantage points without needing to shout. Later, I told the "husband" "I love you too, but not the way you think...." Ha! 

[navybankerteacher]

On 8/7/2020 at 7:16 AM, MBP&O2/O said:

 

Quite seriously ... if we were in heavy seas and rolling heavily .... maybe 35/40 degrees each way ... when on the bridge it was far more comfortable to stand facing the wing than for’d or aft as you could stand still and ‘roll’ with the motion.


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If you had ever experienced rolling (as opposed to pitching) you would recall that legs apart, facing forward or aft - and not towards either wing of the bridge - gives you a much better shot at maintaining balance.